Would you have another child, if you were me? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 7 Old 10-01-2006, 06:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We have a very strange family situation. My husband and I were married in 2001, had our son six months later (he will five at the end of this month), then divorced in 2003. I got pregnant with another man while we were apart and had my daughter (she will be a year old at the end of this month). My husband and I got back together when my daughter was 3 weeks old and are now remarried. SO, I am married to my older child's father. My daughter's father sees her about once a week, and his family sees her twice a week or so for a couple of hours. But she lives with us and is with us about 90% of the time. My husband, of course, treats her (and thinks of her) as his own child, and I would say she is much closer to him than she is her biological dad.

My question is, if you were in our situation, would you have another child? I really, really want at least one more child but am worried about how my daughter will feel, being the middle child and having a different father than her older brother and younger brother/sister. What do you think?
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#2 of 7 Old 10-01-2006, 07:26 PM
 
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I would. It sounds like your daughter has three parents who love her, and your husband treats her with the same love and kindness as his other child. It might take a little work, but it sounds like you two (you and DH) have done a lot of work in order to be able to get back together after divorcing and you having a child w/ another man.

Mama to A born 8/7/99
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#3 of 7 Old 10-02-2006, 03:06 PM
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Wow, that is quite the situation, but it sounds like you all have made the best of things with lots of love and care. If all of you are ready to bring another child into the mix, then I don't see how it could be anything but a blessing. Good luck!
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#4 of 7 Old 10-02-2006, 09:05 PM
 
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every child born into a step family has this and yet we all feel love in our families. Have the child. Your daugher will love the new child and she will be fine.
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#5 of 7 Old 10-02-2006, 10:57 PM
 
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As my DD1 said when we told her we were expecting her baby sister (I am stepmama to DD1) "well, sisters are sisters. it doesn't matter if you're not my first mommy. we're still going to love her because she's in our family!"

I say, expand your family, mama. It sounds like there's more than enough love in your house to raise another little one (at least 1 )

Good luck in making your decision!

Sarah - Mama to Vic (1/19/00), Syd (4/06/02) Sam (4/20/06-born at 30wk2d), JackJack (2/14/07) and Charlie (4/30/10)
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#6 of 7 Old 10-03-2006, 10:50 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyMine View Post
every child born into a step family has this and yet we all feel love in our families. Have the child. Your daugher will love the new child and she will be fine.

:

I totally agree with this. Have another kid if that's what you want.
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#7 of 7 Old 10-06-2006, 03:32 PM
 
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I agree. I would, and I think the thought you're putting into it shows that you will make sure everyone involved will be considered and loved!
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