There was no way i could just let this sit here with no reply. What a shock, after so much time has passed, to have him contact so casually: 'yeah, um.. I'm your dad. gimme a ring sometime.'
i think anyone would be in a state of shock after such a surprise, and i think your post was written while still in that state. I imagine that it will take more time than you've yet had to begin to digest this, and i imagine that it will take an even longer amount of time for you to begin to compose your thoughts and feelings into an appropriate response.
This is a hairball of a situation, i wish i could say something to make it easier. But, the only bit of what i consider to be wise advice i can offer is probably going to make you want to poke me in the eye.....
you must wait, love, before you commit to a response to him. no firing off of the cuff here. no knee jerk reactions, OK?
I am sure i don't need to tell you that this is a very important matter, a complicated and intricate and profoundly
important matter, and i can tell by your post how very much your heart is with your dc, and for
your dc. That is why I know that you will be successful in this, your heart is in the right place.
MDC has been a resource for me, one that i have drawn on, and from which i have gleaned enormous benefits and support, which helped me through the most trying and difficult situation i have ever gone through.
The situation facing you is going to be trying, of that we can be sure. Most likely, it will also be on-going -both in its challenges and its potential rewards. This first shock, it will not always retain its piercing qualities and i encourage you to allow for the passage of a space of time before making any decisions.
I am thinking of you and your dear son, so much.