I have two amazing stepdaughters who have been a part of my life since they were 3 and 18 months, respectively. They call me mommy, they tell strangers they're my kids, and their biomom acknowledges me as a third parent to them, even going so far as to tell their teachers that I'm their "second" mom.
Ok, so that's the background to explain that obviously I would go to bat for my kids on anything, and move heaven and earth to do what I need to for them.
DD1 was born with an umbilical hernia. DH and biomom were told that if it hadn't healed on its own by the time she was 5, it needed to be surgically corrected. She will be 7 in January, and in talking to DD3's ped today, he suggested I take DD1 to a pediatric surgeon to get a consult and then have her operation done.
I e-mailed biomom to let her know what the ped said and to ask if she wanted me to go ahead and schedule a consult (one of the only hospitals with a ped surg. team is 120 miles from biomom, but I have to take DD3 there to see her specialists and could take both girls without a problem) or if she just wanted me to pass on the phone number of the surgery department so that she could call and schedule. I told her I was more than happy to take her, but didn't want to step on any toes by assuming that I was to be responsible for scheduling her surgery. I mean, it is surgery, after all. Also, I knew that biomom sometimes has trouble getting time off work, but I'm a SAHM, so my schedule is significantly more flexible. I asked her to please send me DD1's school schedule so that I could try and schedule her consult/surgery for her winter break, because I know biomom doesn't want the girls to be pulled out of school for any reason.
Her response was:
"B (my DH) said he would take care of this a while ago. I'll let you know when her breaks are from school for scheduling."
What? I mean, I understand it's technically DH's resposibility, since the kiddos are covered under his insurance, but I assumed she'd at least want to be involved, considering this is her child we're talking about.
Our relationship has been so much better of late, that this is really kinda mind-boggling. She just seems so blase about the whole thing, KWIM? Like she doesn't really care when I schedule this appointment, and is perfectly happy to have me handle all of it on my own. It just struck me as strange, because I know I would want to be kept in the loop (at the very least) if she was handling this, you know?
Maybe this is just the meanderings of a tired pregnant lady.