Losing my temper with dsc - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 10-26-2006, 08:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am such a bad mommy. Dh and I have been having marriage problems, very close to a separation (I've already packed up and said I was leaving once). My sc (8 & 6) are here this week, we get them every other week, switch on Mondays. Well I have been having a really hard time controlling my temper around them. They get a little pouty or start backtalking and I just start yelling at them. I don't know what is wrong with me but I am definitely thinking about moving out for good because its not fair for me to be taking my stresss out on them, they don't deserve it. I've always denied it but it is true I don't feel the same towards them as I do towards my son (from a previous relationship). I get more irritated with them if they act disrespectful, I have less tolerance for bad behavior. I am thinking I definitely need to leave because its just not fair for them. I thought it was just an anger problem in general, but I'm not getting angry at my 3 yo. Help? I only have four days before they leave again to their moms, but dh would never let me just up and leave while they are here anyway. He wants to shelter them as much as possible from me leaving. I don't know what I am asking, but I just felt so guilty I had to vent somewhere.
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#2 of 4 Old 10-26-2006, 10:08 AM
 
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sounds like a very tough situation momma, just wanted to lend some support. At least you're conscientious about your temper and working on it, obviously there are many emotions running high for all of you right now. I'm sorry that you're dealing with so much right now, but hang in there!! You only have a few short days. Don't be too harsh with yourself, you're going through an awful lot!! And you sound like you're sensitive to your dsc even though you feel like you're losing your temper.
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#3 of 4 Old 10-26-2006, 10:13 AM
 
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How sad, for everyone.

Maybe it would be a good idea to leave if you feel you can't get your anger in check. You're right, those children don't deserve the treatment you are dishing out...then again, if you were being angry toward your own child would you leave?

Probably not, so maybe there is a way to work through this and everyone keep their sanity. Counseling? Self-help books? Exercise? Walk away? Scream into a pillow?

Have to go to class but wanted to give you a hug and a few suggestions.
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#4 of 4 Old 10-26-2006, 03:13 PM
 
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Don't know if this will help much in your situation, but when I'm totally overwhelmed and stressed, and it comes out on my kids, I try to change the situation completely. Have fun, go out, play, do interesting things, try to distract MYSELF and enjoy my time with the kids. Mine are bio-kids, though, but I still think it would help some...try to keep your mind in the very present moment but not worry about or hold in your head your other worries.

good luck for you and the girls!
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