Okay, I am so aggravated I don't even know where to start.
Here's some background info:[LIST][*]Divorced exh 4 yrs ago. Why? He abused alcohol and cocaine & was a general jerk.[*]Right after we divorced he got involved with "Sally". Sally has been married 2x and has 3 dds. When I moved out of the house, she and i dd moved in. Her dd is 6 mo. older than mnie.[*]I have found Sally's morals to be questionable. Before I moved out of the house I found explicit pictures of her in my bedroom. I am not a prude, but think that was a stupid move on her part.[*]Neddless to say, we did not get along the first year after my divorce & the kids knew it. She & I are very different. She is uneducated, ignorant & more than mainstream.[*]Finally, a couple of years ago after being exasperated & not wanting to deal with petty BS anymore, I asked her to sit down & talk with me. I suggested that we get along for the kids' sake & that we should bury our differences & start from scratch. She agreed. Okay, so normally this would not be a woman that I would form a friendship with but, let's make the best of the situation.[*]Now, the last couple of years really have not been that bad. I do know that she & my xh fight like mad sometimes & do not have the same parenting values that myself & my fiance do. My dd has also come home on MANY occasions sobbing about how Sally's dd is mean & nasty. Hey, kids fight & most of the time I don't say anything because I want to keep the peace & also don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill.[*]OKay, I mentioned my dp. We have lived together since last December & recently got engaged. When we first met, actually about two minutes after we met - we were introduced by an old neighbor of mine - he mentioned that he knew of my xh and knew Sally. How, you ask? He kindof went on a date or two with Sally a couple of months before this, he thought she was a "psycho" & also found out she was living with somebody & broke it off. She continued to text & call him. He never responded. Anyway, he & I really hit it off & the rest is history. And I never held his little lapse of judgement against him. Hey, I didn't even know him then & he had no idea she was living with somebody & a psycho.[*]When Sally found out it was him that I was dating, she started texting him again. He again did not respond. I guess she thought he might mention something to me & I might mention it to my xh. Well, as far as I was concerned it was none of my business so I didn't say anything & to this day she does not know that I know.[*]Here's the problem - my dd has come home from their house for the third tmie now with my xh saying my dd told him my dp is "mean to her". They get along more than fine at home - dp does her homework with her, plays with her, she even sleeps with an old army blanket that she stole from him. My xh was upset, & understanably so, this is his dd, confronted my dp who basically ate sh321t to assure him that he would never overstep his bounds with somebody else's child & thought that they had a good reletionship.[*]I know I am not explaining this whole thing very well, my head is spinning right now. But this always seems to happen whan Sally is in a pissy mood. I have spoken to my dd about this on each occasion & it turns out that she is actually fine with my dp, just normal blended family issues & my first priority will always be my dd.[*]Am I totally nuts for thinking Sally might be planting this stuff in my dd's head because she is unhappy & jealous? And if so, what do I do? How do I approach this without acting like I am a petty high-schooler?[*]BTW, people that know her think this might be true. I believe their words were "I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her"[*]I have tried very hard within the last few years to come from a place of compassion when dealing with people, being calm, approachable, open. But if this woman is going to cause a problem with the family I now have, ythat is everything I've ever wanted, what do I do?
Sorry this was so long. I'm sure alot of it didn't make sense either.