Feeling sad for sd - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 11-28-2006, 08:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My sd is overweight for her age/height. Shes 4ft, 6in and 96 pds. This wouldnt bother me AS much if she ate decently when in BM's care. I know there isnt anything I can do about that, but its killing me. I grew up overweight, but very active and eating sensible meals. I was made to clean my plate at every meal or sit the table until bedtime.

SD lost about 11 pounds over the summer while she was with us. Even when we couldnt be outside, we were doing indoor activities or went to the garage to play. A big problem w/ sd is that she will watch TV just because its on. It could be a cartoon or a documentary on corn growing and she would watch it.

So, she lost 11 pounds over the summer, putting her at 84 pounds in late August. She weighs 96 now...thats 12 pounds in 3 months with no change in height. I feel horrible for her because I know the pain that came along with being overweight in school. She mentions being teased at school and it brings me to tears. The memories are vivid and painful for me because I am seeing myself in her.

I just wish her mom could see it, but she doesnt. She doesnt see 4 McD's breakfasts a week as a bad thing. Veggies "dont taste good" so they just dont make them. SD eats veggies like crazy here. Fruits too.

Not only is her weight bothering me, but I wonder whats happening/could happen internally...cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.

Not seeking advice here, just needed to vent.
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#2 of 3 Old 11-28-2006, 01:26 PM
 
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How old is your sd and is she with you full time? My ss is not with us full time. He used to eat the standard crappy diet at his mom's-- lots of meat, soda, dairy, fat, processed foods (she bought kraft mac n cheese by the case!), fast food, although she also gave him salads and apples. We found that what worked best was for him to become interested in food. He likes to cook, so we would encourage cooking. We would make different things than he usually ate. I bought meat from a local farm and explained to him why I prefered it. I cook some vegetarian meals. Now he rags on his mom and stepdad about their food. He doesn't eat fast food or much soda, and is proud of it. It's still not ideal, but he is old enough (10) that HE decided to make the changes.
(plus I think he likes that asking for soymilk really pisses off his stepdad)
SS always had an interest in food, so that helped. But I understand where you are coming from. Sometimes I think the best you can do is to be a good example. And even if she doesn't seem interested, your nutritional information, casually mentioned, will be remembered.
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#3 of 3 Old 11-28-2006, 01:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Selesai, she is not with us FT. 12 weeks over the summer and all school vacations plus some weekends. She is interested in different foods, but veggies and fruits are not being made available to her at her moms. At school, she will get a chefs salad for lunch, but she drenches it in reg. ranch dressing. There is no such thing as moderation at her moms.

When she is with us, you can see the difference in her appearance and attitude in as little as 4 days. I think this is because of the change in diet (healthier, more diverse foods, water and white, lowfat milk) and because she gets a good nights rest here, but thats another post.

Im hoping that one of these days, she will be able to choose for herself healthier foods instead of going for the chips/cookies/pop all the time. Shes only 8, so I cant expect her to turn down McD's or tell her mom/grandparents (they all live together) that she wants them to start buying fresh produce (and then have her eating it when junk food is available). Here, chips/cookies are a treat and are greatly limited. When asked, she would rather have raw veggies/fruits than junk.
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