Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Gulf coast of Florida
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Just wondered about a couple of things...
Have you asked them again? I mean, directly when you are talking to SD, asked him? Maybe that would be better than just asking if they got your message?
The other thing is, I notice you have three DSS, but this is only in regards to the youngest, right? Maybe if you could arrange a visit between all three kids (don't know where the others are) that would help things out a lot? The idea that you are then facilitating more blood relationships?
As a BM...it's hard for me to wrap my head around the relationship that the girls must have with their step-mom. I know that she has been nice with them, that they enjoy her, and when they wanted to send her a mother's day card I was delighted and promply sent one with a new picture. But at the same time, it is really hard for me sometimes to send my kids away to their dads...just because its far away and long distances. And I don't know if there's any history in your DH and his Ex's divorce, but in my case, my ex had an affair and later married her...so now the woman who broke apart our family is the step mom. It makes it hard sometimes to see her in a good light.
Also, as a kid, I had a stepmom from ages 1-12 that I really didn't like at all...she was never nice to me, spoiled my little sister, etc. So I haven't had a good experience with non-custodial stepparents, and it would be a little harder for me to trust that. Not that I wouldn't get over it if my kids wanted to have short, daytime visits (I probably would NOT be willing to do overnights), but still...just adding that sometimes people have baggage that makes it really hard to be impartial, whether any of those things apply or not.
Hope that helps! And good luck getting some time with DSS, helping him set up his room sounds wonderful, and getting him summer clothes, etc., sounds great.