DD misses her half brother!!! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 12 Old 08-13-2007, 01:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DD is almost two. Her half brother (my step son) is twelve. He stays with us every summer for two months, june and july. It has been tough with him leaving this year. DD misses him so much! She walks around looking for him and calling his name! It just makes me want to cry. I feel so bad that she will grow up with her brother there only some of the time!

Yesterday she was looking at some framed pictures that were on an end table. She picked up the picture of her brother, said his name, and hugged the picture.

It took everything I had not to cry.

Anyone else going through this? Is there some way to make it easier for DD?
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#2 of 12 Old 08-13-2007, 01:53 PM
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Could you set up a webcam and set up a specific time and day so that DD can "chat" with her brother and see him on the screen? We have friends that do this with one set of grandparents who live across the country. Every Sunday afternoon, they have a date w/the grandparents via the webcam. The kids love it, and the grandparents get to be a real part of the children's lives.
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#3 of 12 Old 08-29-2007, 05:38 PM
 
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phooey
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#4 of 12 Old 08-29-2007, 05:43 PM
 
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I'm in the same boat, my eldest who is 15 lives with his Dad and he used to be here on weekends and summer. However his Dad just moved 1100 miles away so when he leaves Sat to go back to his Dad's he won't be back until October for a weekend visit. My dd is 2 and loves her big brother, my heart is breaking (for me and now for her), I have been trying to explain that he is leaving but I expect full meltdowns when he leaves in a few days.
:

Its so hard.

Shay

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
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#5 of 12 Old 08-29-2007, 06:11 PM
 
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maybe frequent phone calls would help? even if just to say "hi, i miss you, i love you?"
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#6 of 12 Old 08-29-2007, 08:47 PM
 
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We go through that with DS2.
The last time I took him to the airport with me to drop off T, he FREAKED OUT.... throwing himself against the glass window, screaming and crying, totally distraught that we were letting T get on a plane alone and then leaving without him. It was awful. I started crying, too. : And, of course, we had to sit there until the plane took off, so it was really traumatic for him.

He's usually OK after a couple hours. I didn't take him to the airport last time. He understands that T will come back and only brings him up occationally while he's gone (short 3yo attention span and all that)

We have pictures of T on the computer and DS likes to look at those, too.
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#7 of 12 Old 08-31-2007, 10:29 AM
 
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#8 of 12 Old 09-03-2007, 01:19 AM
 
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I am new here, I hope you do not mind me replying. I have a nearly 3 year old ds and a nine year old dss. Ds misses his brother a lot when he is not here. We see him several times a week and most weekends, but ds is always sad when he leaves and runs to the door calling his name anytime anyone opens it. I think it is a good thing! I mean, I am sorry he misses his brother so, but am glad they are forming a good strong bond.

Hang in there!
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#9 of 12 Old 09-11-2007, 12:37 AM
 
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My girls go through this too. Dd1 is with her dad about 40% of the time and dd2 misses her soooo much! You're not alone...

Me : living with and loving papa and the kids: Dd1 8/97 , dd2 8/04 and my sweet baby ds 5/09 : :
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#10 of 12 Old 09-11-2007, 06:08 PM
 
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Same here. Dd adores her sisters, but they've stopped coming to stay (long story, basically mom cut off access), and it has been incredibly hard on her. Even when she was smaller and they did come back, I still felt terrible to see how it affected her when they left. Now I just try to reassure her that they do love her and that she'll see them again sometime.

If you do have phone access, or the other parent is willing to mail pictures and little things like cards, I'm sure that would help, along with the reassurance that in your case they'll see each other again another holiday.
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#11 of 12 Old 09-22-2007, 04:48 PM
 
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This happens to my girls too. My oldest daughter ( 9yo) is here every weekend, but when she leaves my two girls 4 and 20 months always cry and it doesn't go away. Its been this way since they were born. They have not gotten used to their sissy leaving, and I'm not sure they will for awhile.

It used to really, really bother me. Because it was a constant reminder that our family was different. (though I guess in the grand scheme of things we're more normal huh?)

Its hard.

treehugger.gifAutistic pagan mama with five kiddos on the spectrum, learning through living life. autismribbon.gif  computergeek2.gif

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#12 of 12 Old 09-23-2007, 09:09 PM
 
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My daughter is 3 and she so misses her half brother who's 7 when he's not around , she will tell us that her brother is with his mommy , sometimes when my husband comes home she will ask if her brother is in the car ...
(she sees him every other week (7 days at each house)

We made her a count down Calendar , she gets to place a sticker on the calendar each day he's not with us ,, counting down to when he comes back ..
!!!THIS HAS HELPED HER SO MUCH !!!!

We also make sure they get time to play together just the 2 of them doing some special project ...
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