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#1 of 16 Old 01-01-2008, 02:40 PM - Thread Starter
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When you married and blended your families, how were the kids involved in the ceremony? Did you take a honeymoon or a family trip after the wedding? What color of dress did you wear? Was it a private ceremony and then a big reception?

I'd love to hear your blended wedding stories. If you and dh had children prior to being married, how did your wedding look?

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#2 of 16 Old 01-01-2008, 02:48 PM
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I'll tell you about my mother and stepfather's wedding, which was very small and very nice.

Basically, they got married in a little protestant chapel down the road from where my stepfather grew up. It was just a basic exchange of vows. I was my mother's maid of honor, my brother Kevin (the older of the two) was my stepfather's best man, and my brother Michael gave my mother away.

She wore a very pretty suit that was a light color (sort of a silvery grey) and he wore a suit.

Then we gathered at my aunt's house for a reception. The only guests they had were family.

They took a weekend honeymoon by themselves.
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#3 of 16 Old 01-01-2008, 03:05 PM
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To set the scene, I'd been married before in a traditional big wedding, my husband hadn't been married to my sd's mother. I didn't want to ask my family to pay for another big wedding, and we were living 3000 miles from our families anyway. So we opted for a small ceremony with family who could make the trip, and my step-daughter as the flower girl. My husband is not religious and my religion doesn't really have a traditional ceremony, so we opted for a civil ceremony. We took lots of pictures and took a video of the ceremony because she was only 2 and we wanted her to be able to remember it as she got older.

We went on a honeymoon with just the two of us right after our wedding (the weekend she was with her mom), then took a family "honeymoon" about a week later when we had a long holiday of uninterrupted parenting time already scheduled with my step-daughter. My husband and I lived together already, so we didn't need to have any sort of "making a family" ceremony because we already were a family in all but law.

The next summer (about 6 months later) when we had 2 weeks of uniterrupted parenting time with my step-daughter for a summer vacation, we flew out to the east coast and had a wedding reception that all our family and friends could attend. It was pretty much what you would expect the reception of a traditional big wedding to look like-- a big catered meal, gifts, wedding cake, music and dancing, etc.

Parenting four little monkeys (11, 8, 6, and 4) with the love of my life. Making it up as I go.
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#4 of 16 Old 01-01-2008, 03:45 PM
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We had a big formal wedding in the church. My middle sons were ushers, they are grown men, and my oldest son and his wife manned the guest book and helped pass out the cake. I wore a long ivory gown and my DH wore a tux as did Dss who was best man. My MIL and my older sister read from the Bible. My niece and nephew who are still small were flower girl and ring bearer.My best friend for 40 years was my wedding coordinator and she and I made all the flowers and decorations for the wedding and reception. We had a full buffet dinner and two cakes and rented a hall for the reception where we also had dancing and champagne. It was a lovely evening though expensive, but I wouldn't have wanted to do it any other way. We did most of the work ourselves with the help of my friend and my sisters and their families.We went on a week long honeymoon to California. Dss stayed home as he had to go to school and we wanted our privacy anyway.
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#5 of 16 Old 01-01-2008, 04:15 PM
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We married in our home Just this past Nov. We cleared all the furniture out of our living room and dining room and rented tables, linens etc. and decorated the house. Had a caterer come in for the food. We had about 43 guests, I wore a long, simple white dress, dh wore a suit. Small and intimate. Our ( one is his the other mine) 2 oldest children, both 16, signed the wedding register as witnesses and dhs' younger son who is 12 was the ring bearer. Our 2 year old slept through the ceremony. We are planning a 2 week trip down the oregon coast in March.
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#6 of 16 Old 01-01-2008, 05:37 PM
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We eloped. Just the two of us and the minister. Didn't tell anyone until days later. Told the kids the next time we saw them, and they were thrilled!

We told their mother before we told the kids, just in case word got around, we didn't want her to hear about it from someone else, but she agreed to let us tell the kids in person.

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#7 of 16 Old 01-01-2008, 07:08 PM
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We got married this past June in Maui. On the beach, barefoot! We had been planning with a wedding planner since February and told everyone our plans (1 week in Oahu and 1 week cruise of the islands) and sent out invitations so it wasn't a "surprise, we're married now" kind of thing.

I wore an ivory silk, sleeveless J.Crew dress, had white orchids entwined in my hair, carried a bouquet of green hydrangea and two colors of pink roses. DH wore an ivory silk aloha shirt with khaki colored linen Ralph Lauren slacks (which he rolled up the pant cuffs while we frolicked in the water for some photos!). We exchanged a tuberrose lei for me and a maile leaf lei for my dh. During the ceremony (we also had a harpist playing on the beach!) at sunset, we had our traditional Hawaiian minister bless 4 kukui nut leis for our 4 boys. (We did, of course, tell the boys about the trip and the purpose...the first thing they asked is if there was going to be any kissing and if so, they weren't going! LOL) My son stayed with my ex-husband's family (they were fully supportive) and my dh's kids were with his ex.

We had a professional photographer take over a thousand pictures and it turned out to be the most incredible wedding I've been to....and it was mine!

I would definitely recommend hiring a wedding planner...all the details were taken care of and we just showed up at the cove at the appointed time.
Very personal and intimate, romantic and decadent at the same time....I'd do it again like that in a heartbeat!
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#8 of 16 Old 01-01-2008, 08:51 PM
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You can see what ours "looked" like through the links next to me and Abby in my sig.

(Our situation: Me-never married, Hubby was married young to college sweetheart, then widowed when Abby was an infant.)

We had our close family (parents and my extended family, hubby chose to exclude his extended family to avoid drama.)

We all stayed at a B&B for the weekend in Vermont, carved pumpkins Fri night, had a nice, big sit-down "rehearsal dinner" that included everyone and opted out of the actual rehearsal.

We put Abby with grandparents for the nights, hubby and I stayed in the honeymoon room (jacuzzi tub for two!) both nights. Saturday, I got ready in my mom's room, then retrieved Abby and got her ready myself.

We had no attendants, but my Aunt (who did the flowers) made little bouquets for all of the ladies in the family.

The ceremony was civil, I read my vow to hubby (gave him his ring,) he read his to me (gave me a ring,) then I read mine to Abby (and gave her a ring on a necklace, which she swung around like a lasso!)

Then we were declared married.

We had cocktails, then a buffet kind of dinner with a roast turkey and pumpkin cheesecake.

We left the next morning for a short spa honeymoon. We got about $1000 worth of services in 2 days!

It was the best wedding, ever. (My crusty dad even agrees, and he paid for it!)
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#9 of 16 Old 01-04-2008, 02:03 AM
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We got married in a beautiful garden. Dss was 4. Dh and I faced each other each one holding one of dss's hands. We didn't really plan it, he just got nervous/excited and wanted to be with us. He got a good giggle when we kissed. We had a one night honeymoon without dss. A family trip would have been nice. My dress was light purple with beaded flowers. I'm really not into wedding dresses. I realized I could go to the mall and find the most beautiful dress in the entire place and it was $200.
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#10 of 16 Old 01-04-2008, 10:46 AM
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I had never been married before but as we started planning our wedding, I discovered that a formal, big wedding was not really me. So we picked an outdoor location about an hour from where we live that has an awesome stone gazebo that we could rent for $35/day and it is in a park that the kids love to play in and has been a special place for our family. We called a lady that does civil ceremonies and we picked a restuarant that would accomodate our guests. We got married Memorial Day weekend this past year and it was amazing. My oldest DSS has been learning to play the trumpet in school so he played the wedding march. My two DSDs walked me down to the gazebo and then my oldest DSD played Canon in D as a special music piece during the short ceremony. It was small, intimate and quick which was great because we didn't quite plan how long it would take us to get ready and we were 45 minutes late starting the ceremony! After we were married, we took photos and then went to the restuarant where we had chosen a couple of entrees for our guests to choose from. There were 44 people, including us there. My mom made our wedding cake and it was awesome. That night, friends of our family paid for two connecting hotel rooms for us to spend the night in. The idea was that the kids would sleep in one room and we would be in the other room but it turned into me in the bed with the girls, our oldest son refusing to share one of the beds with anyone else and my DH in the bed with our youngest! It was perfect for us. About a month later, we took a "familymoon" to Baltimore and spent a few days there doing fun kid stuff. It was fabulous. The only thing that I would change if I could go back would be this. We had special vows that we were going to say to the kids and we forgot them in the hotel room. But other than that, it was just right for our family. My sister got married a few months later and it was a big formal production and the kids were bored!

For our attire, I wore an ivory strapless tea length sheath dress that I found at for $40(it was cheap but it looked fabulous!!!), my husband wore a suit. Oldest DSS wore a suit, the girls wore matching dresses that we had already purchased for my sister's upcoming wedding and youngest DSS wore a blue blazer and dress pants. I carried a small bouquet of roses that my mom put together and so did the girls. One of my best friends was able to fly in for the wedding and she is a professional hair stylist so she did all our hair as our gift. Another friend took all the pictures for us and yet another friend used our camcorder and did all the taping. We did our whole wedding for about $500! It was great!

Annie wife v2.0 to DH and joyfully parenting DSS 20
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#11 of 16 Old 01-04-2008, 12:31 PM
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We are planning our wedding right now (for September). We will be inviting about 100.

We are doing the ceremony in an indoor garden. DSD (she'll be almost 6) will be the flower girl, and DSD's sister (she will be 12) will carry DS (he'll be 18 mo) down the aisle as a ringbearing combination. I'm not sure if we will do any sort of family vows. We want to do something because the wedding feels like a culmination of all of the hard work we have done together to make ourselves a family. It feels like the type of thing that DSD's mom would get mad about, so it would have to be done very carefully.

Since two of DSD's mom's children will be in the wedding, she will be invited. If she would have married the bank robber in June, we would have went to her wedding. She and I even took an invitation-making class together back when her wedding was still on.

I am still deciding on a dress, but it will be of the bridal variety. It will be my second wedding, but the first one was planned in 3 weeks and had only immediate family present. Most everyone I know has forgotten that I was married before. This will be DF's first wedding.

We will have a traditional reception at the conference center that DF is the chef at. Since he won't be able to cook, we are ordering take-out chinese food ().

We still aren't sure on whether we will do a honeymoon or not. If so, it will be just the two of us.


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#12 of 16 Old 01-04-2008, 06:33 PM
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Three years ago tomorrow...

We chose the elopement option, because FIL is disabled and refuses to leave the house- basically, even if we'd got married in Swindon he wouldn't have come : So without either of the groom's parents, bride's father, and two small boys in tow, we decided that the sensible and prudent thing to do was to run away to Gretna Green together. We took my mum, to help look after the kids, and my uncle and aunt (my only other blood relatives) found out what was up and invited themselves. And it was perfect

Basically, Gretna is our Vegas- Scotland doesn't have a residency criteria for marriage, so you can just post your birth certificates off and turn up on the day, and it's the first town over the Scottish border. We were married over the anvil, the boys struck the anvil together to show that we were legally married (they did need some help to lift the hammer, though, Uncle Douglas did that), Isaac came and held my hand during the service and then they played cars quietly during the boring paperwork bits. They were 6 and 4 at the time We then went to a pub, had a bowl of soup, drove back to my mums' house, made a fuss of the dog for a bit and had a cup of tea and then went down the local for dinner Couldn't have been much lower key, but it was perfect for us. Everyone close to us that wanted to be there was there, and FIL didn't feel bad for not being.

eta: we kind of got engaged driving through Gretna the previous summer, as in "shall we? Let's. And we did..."

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#13 of 16 Old 01-04-2008, 07:00 PM
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It was both my and my husband's first marriage, although I have an daughter from a previous relationship. We had a really informal wedding, not because I already have a daughter, but just because that is our style.

I wore a blue dress and my husband wore a button up shirt and nice slacks, (no jacket or tie...he didn't want to and it didn't really matter to me either way.) My daughter, then 7 years old, stood up in front of the justice of the peace with us, wore a traditional flowergirl dress because that is what she wanted to wear, held a smaller verson of my bouquet, and also held the rings for us until it was time to exchange them. We told her she was my maid of honor, flower girl and ring bearer all rolled into one...she liked playing so many roles in the ceremony.

We decided to do the honeymoon without her though...which was nice for us. We entertained the thought of bringing her but decided some alone time would be good for us; she stayed with her dad while we were gone.

During the actual ceremony we only had a few friends with us, and afterwards we met both of our families and some more friends at a friend-owned restaurant, and we had a lunch/brunch with everyone. It was small and simple and perfect for us.

Mama to A born 8/7/99
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#14 of 16 Old 01-04-2008, 08:27 PM
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This is the video from our wedding. I wore a white wedding dress and a tiara (my Sister-in-Law bought it as my wedding gift) and my children wore blue- blue suit for my son (the ring bearer) and blue velvet dresses for my stepdaughter and my niece (the flower girls). My favorite brother gave me away. We invited most our friends and family and My Grandparents gave me their own cake topper from their wedding (50 years ago) for our cake topper and my Mother gave us the cake for our wedding present. The wedding was in our home and my friend, James, (a proffesional songwriter who, unfortunatley could not make it), is the singer/writer of our wedding song, which is in the video.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#15 of 16 Old 01-05-2008, 02:23 PM
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As this was my dh's 3rd marriage (no kids) and my 2nd we didn't want to do anything too big. But, as we both had many friends from church that would be really upset if we eloped, we had a pagan ceremony in a local park with our UU minister officiating. My boss did the food as her gift (local health food store), a friend from church did the pictures as his gift, another friend did the flowers. We had several friends that participated in the ceremony with drumming and such. We had bubbles for the kids instead of rice. My daughter was a bridesmaid (she was 18) and my son (15)was a groomsman. It was just the wonderful, relaxed day that we wanted it to be! We went up to Monterey and Big Sur for a week, camping and staying in hotels while the kids stayed with their dad. We will have been married ten years this coming September and have a 7yo ds together. My daughter was there for his birth at home and was one of the first to hold him.

When my ex remarried they included all the kids (her 4, his 2) in the ceremony. She even made matching ties for the boys!
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#16 of 16 Old 08-22-2014, 05:01 AM
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We married in a tiny, rural town ~1.5 hours from home. It was abandoned during the Depression and later, all the remaining 1850's-era buildings (a general store, grist mill and a number of cottages) were turned into an inn/restaurant. So the inn is the whole town and it's surrounded by woods - i.e., about as safe a place as you'll find, for kids to run around free and explore.

Before the wedding, my husband stayed there overnight with his then-8-y-o son (from his 2nd marriage) and my then-12-y-o twin sons, who were best friends at that point. DH got things ready while the kids had the run of the place, roasted marshmallows, etc. Most of the guests (~30 people) also spent the night after the wedding and we arranged for the boys to stay with one of them, so we could have our own cottage. That was pretty much our "honeymoon". The morning after, we had a nice breakfast at the inn with everyone, but then had to head back to the city to put the 8-y-o on a plane to his mom's (it was another 3 months before he came to live with us). And the 12-year-olds had school the next day.

We gave each of the boys a small, wooden box engraved with their 3 names, the date and "Now we're brothers!" (a fact they'd been excited about for some time). There was a different hand-held electronic game in each box (like Simon and Hang-Man), to pass around if they got super-bored. They ended up storing their nature finds from that weekend in the boxes and use them as jewelry boxes, now.

My brother made a video with some photos of DH and me, growing up; pics with all of the guests; and lots of shots of the kids. We played it on a loop, during the informal "cocktail hour" we had in one of the cottages, between the ceremony and dinner. That also helped entertain the kids. After dinner, we hired a local singer/guitar player to hang out in the big cottage with all of us and play. He'd do requests for the kids and we let them stay up as late as they wanted.

At the ceremony, DH's then-college-age son from his 1st marriage was best man and the 3 younger boys were ring-bearers together. The wedding was pretty casual, but the 3 Amigos were set on wearing we rented them some. DH and my older DSS, who had planned to wear suits, also wore tuxes, because the boys were so excited about them.

I was 6 months pregnant. (DH had proposed on Valentine's Day and we'd set a date for the next Valentine's Day. Then I got pregnant in May and our baby ended up being born the next Valentine's Day. So we moved up the wedding, to November.) I wore a cream-colored silk sundress that I found on summer clearance at Pea in the Pod, for - if I remember correctly - $25. It was beautiful!

Thanks to the OP, for starting this post. It's always fun, when you get the chance to recount the little details of your wedding - and fun to read others'.

One woman in a house full of men:  my soul mate:  
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... twin sons:
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(HS seniors) ... step-son: 
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