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View Poll Results: Should the dog poop have been cleaned before returning the shoes?
House B should have cleaned the shoes before returning them. 75 84.27%
House A should have cleaned the shoes without complaint when they were returned. 11 12.36%
Obligatory other... 3 3.37%
Voters: 89. You may not vote on this poll

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#1 of 46 Old 05-18-2008, 06:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been thinking of a question to post about for several days now and I'd like an unbiased opinion, so I'll try to write this as neutrally as I can...

Child is at House A. Child puts on new sneakers from House A and goes to school. Somewhere between going to school, going to afterschool program and going to House B, child steps in big clumps of dog poop with both shoes. Child arrives at House B with dog poop shoes. House B sends dog poop shoes back to House A in plastic bag with dog poop still on the bottoms. House A is upset that shoes are sent back with dog poop on the bottoms and thinks they should have been cleaned off before being sent back. Who is right? (Side note- both houses use their own clothes at their own houses and both houses clean any clothes from the other house before sending it back.)

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#2 of 46 Old 05-18-2008, 06:28 PM
 
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House A is right.


Eew.

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#3 of 46 Old 05-18-2008, 06:32 PM
 
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If I were House B, I would've cleaned off the poop. Do unto others...
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#4 of 46 Old 05-18-2008, 06:32 PM
 
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Gross.

Shoes should have been cleaned.
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#5 of 46 Old 05-18-2008, 06:37 PM
 
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I voted that B should have cleaned them... I mean, really, no one wants to be the one to clean dog poop off the bottom of a shoe. But someone has to, so I guess I just went with the theory that whoever discovered the poop should be the one to clean it. And it sounds like the general etiquette with clothing in your situation is that you send it home clean.

Certainly I can think of some circumstances in which I wouldn't clean the shoes. If the poop was so thouroughly smeared and smooshed into the fabric of the shoes so that no amount of cleaning was going to get it off, I might return the shoes to House A with the shoes in a plastic bag saying "These were totally destroyed by dog poop at school, and if they were mine I would have just thrown them away... but since they aren't, I didn't feel right making the decision to just trash them. I'm happy to throw them away now rather than sending them back to you if you'd like, but I want you to make the call."

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#6 of 46 Old 05-18-2008, 06:46 PM
 
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I voted House A should clean assuming that Child lives at House A and that House B is not a parent or other family member. If A is mom and B is dad, then B should have cleaned the shoes.

If I were A, I wouldn't mind if B didn't clean them. I draw the line at cleaning poop off shoes and simply throw them away. Wasteful and ridiculous, I know, but I've got a major thing about dog poopy shoes.

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#7 of 46 Old 05-18-2008, 06:54 PM
 
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I think it depends on what the shoes looked like. Is a quick clap and rubbing in the grass going to fix the problem? Is it going to take several washings and a toothpick or a butterknife to get all the poop out?
Were the shoes kind of cleaned off, or no attempt was made?

Because to my mind, it makes a big difference. I'm not going to take a butterknife to someone else's kids shoes. But I will try and clap the poop out and rub them in the grass or shoot them with a hose, you know? Because, really, especially if the kid tracked that dog poop TO my house, I don't precisely feel I should make those poopy shoes pristine before sending them back. What were the circumstances with the kid showing up at House B with poopy shoes? Did House B go and pick him up, or did he walk straight there after school? He didn't stop off at House A? Right? Because if he DID, I wouldn't feel ANY obligation to clean off those shoes at ALL. And I'd think it was pretty crappy that someone let their kid track dog crap to my house and then expected me to clean them up. I'd think that's --no pun intended-- pretty crappy and disrespectful.

So like I said, it totally depends on the circumstances, how much poop, how much work it would have taken to get them clean, etc.

And depending on how old the kid was, I'd probably make the kid clean out the poop. I'd at least make him help out. He's the one that stepped in it. And with both shoes, it kind of sounds to me like the kid didn't accidentally step in the dog poop. It sounds like he deliberately stepped in the poop, and that kind of bugs me, too. Unless the kid was wading through it, and it was like, a huge huge pile-- you can't get that much poo on BOTH shoes... and if it was a huge huge pile, I"m sure the kid would have been able to notice it first, and thus have the option of avoiding said dog poop.

So that would also play a part in my decision.
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#8 of 46 Old 05-18-2008, 07:17 PM
 
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If I were house B I would really, really want to send the shoes back in a baggie. Gross. But I would probably try to clean them off.

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#9 of 46 Old 05-18-2008, 07:24 PM
 
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I'm confused...

Who's child is it, House A's or House B's? Was the Child from House A visiting House B, then coming home? Or is it a joint custody thing, where one parent lives in House A and the other in House B? Or another option?

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#10 of 46 Old 05-18-2008, 07:28 PM
 
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I don't think it matters. I wouldn't have minded it either way, whether I was a house A or a house B.

I think kids in blended families have enough stress to have to deal with adults who get cranky about stinky shoes. That's just my thoughts.

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#11 of 46 Old 05-18-2008, 07:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oriole View Post
I think kids in blended families have enogh stress to have to deal with adults who get cranky about stinky shoes. That's just my thoughts.
D'oh! I see now...I didn't realize this was in Blended Families.

Okay, now I can vote. If House B didn't make any effort to clean off the shoes, then that's just messed up. When you "share" a kid (for lack of a better term, I'm not trying to objectify the kids in this situation), you share the gross stuff too. To make no effort to clean the shoes, if this is the case, is petty and immature. And gross.

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#12 of 46 Old 05-18-2008, 07:39 PM
 
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Whoever noticed the problem should deal with the problem. But isn't something I would make a "stink" out of.
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#13 of 46 Old 05-18-2008, 10:05 PM
 
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And then, it depends on when the adult in House B found out about it. If the kid doesn't walk around in shoes in the house, House B Adult may not have known until getting ready to leave back to House A.

This is so not a hill to die on. And if the child is the 12 or 7yo - both are really old enough to take a hose to their own shoes. So it should never even get to an issue between parents.
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#14 of 46 Old 05-18-2008, 11:13 PM
 
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I voted that House A should clean them, but really, the child should clean them (with help as necessary) at whichever house they end up.
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#15 of 46 Old 05-18-2008, 11:17 PM
 
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Erm...y'all know I like to hang onto things, and I'm all for Hillary staying in the race all the way to the convention. But I think this particular issue is one to let go.

Maybe throw away the shoes, too. They're bound to reek from being bagged up with poop.
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#16 of 46 Old 05-19-2008, 02:04 AM
 
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personally, I throw away shoes that won't come clean with a quick spray from the hose or a little tiny bit of toothpicking. I buy them all anyways.
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#17 of 46 Old 05-19-2008, 05:45 AM
 
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the shoes should have been cleaned before they were returned
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#18 of 46 Old 05-19-2008, 08:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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What if the bottom of the shoes literally still had chunks on them (no attempt to scape them on the grass was made), nothing was said, so if House A hadn't smelled it, House A wouldn't have know, the child is an unusually oblivious 7 years old who doesn't pay attention to where she walks (someone mentioned that they thought the child stepped in dog poop on purpose) and House A does not have the money to just go buy new shoes?

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#19 of 46 Old 05-19-2008, 10:24 AM
 
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Then oblivious 7yo child should be made to clean her shoes at house A. Acquaint her with a hose. If needed, have her stand them in an inch of water to get everything loose and easily rinsed. And then show her how to throw them in the washer and run it.

I certainly wouldn't buy new shoes every blessed time one of us accidentally stepped in dog poo.
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#20 of 46 Old 05-19-2008, 11:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mtiger View Post
Then oblivious 7yo child should be made to clean her shoes at house A. Acquaint her with a hose. If needed, have her stand them in an inch of water to get everything loose and easily rinsed. And then show her how to throw them in the washer and run it.

I certainly wouldn't buy new shoes every blessed time one of us accidentally stepped in dog poo.
I'm not sure I get what your saying. Why would it be obvious that the child needs to clean them at House A?

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#21 of 46 Old 05-19-2008, 11:33 AM
 
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As a person who gags about dog poop, here are my feelings. The second household should have cleaned the shoes, but since they didn't, suck it up and clean the shoes. Have the child help so they will watch where they step. By age 7 I watched out for dog poop as did my kids and sometimes just cleaning it will make them begin to watch out for it. If the shoes were just a cheap pair, I would throw them away, but I would mention to Dh to tell the ex to please return shoes and all belongings clean.There's another picture here to me, about a pet owner's irresponsibility in cleaning up after their dog. I own dogs and board dogs and keep them immaculant and there is no excuse for dog poop where a child could play or step in it.
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#22 of 46 Old 05-19-2008, 11:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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There's another picture here to me, about a pet owner's irresponsibility in cleaning up after their dog. I own dogs and board dogs and keep them immaculant and there is no excuse for dog poop where a child could play or step in it.
I completely agree. That's a pet peeve of mine, too. To bad we can't get the dog owner to clean it up, but, even though it's the law here ($250 fine, first offense, $500 fine second), but unfortunately, almost nobody here cleans up after their dogs.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#23 of 46 Old 05-19-2008, 01:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by harleyhalfmoon View Post
I'm not sure I get what your saying. Why would it be obvious that the child needs to clean them at House A?
As I understood it, oblivious child stepped in defecated matter while at House B. Shoes got send back to House A in a baggie. So what are you going to do? Send them BACK to House B? Or have oblivious child take responsibility for her obliviousness by cleaning her own shoes?

Seriously - this isn't such a HUGE deal. The kid stepped in defecated matter. The shoes need to be cleaned. Is this REALLY something to get so worked up over? Make the kid clean her shoes and maybe she'll be more aware of where she's stepping in the future. In other words, neither House A NOR House B should be cleaning the shoes. Oblivious child should be - at one house or the other.
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#24 of 46 Old 05-19-2008, 02:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by mtiger View Post
As I understood it, oblivious child stepped in shit while at House B. Shoes got send back to House A in a baggie. So what are you going to do? Send them BACK to House B? Or have oblivious child take responsibility for her obliviousness by cleaning her own shoes?
Ummm... nobody said anything about sending dog poop back to House B! The questions was more along the lines of, shouldn't they have been cleaned off before being sent back to House A? Or at least wiped off in the grass so that there weren't chunks hanging of it? Wouldn't that have been the polite thing to do?

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Seriously - this isn't such a HUGE deal. The kid stepped in dog shit. The shoes need to be cleaned. Is this REALLY something to get so worked up over?
Profanity. :

With all due respect, it sounds like you're pretty worked up about it. I didn't see anyone else getting all worked up and, as the original poster, I wasn't worked up, I was questioning the rightness/wrongness of the situation.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#25 of 46 Old 05-19-2008, 03:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by harleyhalfmoon View Post

Profanity. :
Sorry - I'll clean it up to something less offensive.

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Originally Posted by harleyhalfmoon View Post
With all due respect, it sounds like you're pretty worked up about it. I didn't see anyone else getting all worked up and, as the original poster, I wasn't worked up, I was questioning the rightness/wrongness of the situation.
Nope. I have three dogs, and sometimes dog poopies get stepped in. It happens. Even when no one has dogs. I actually think it's quite amusing that it would be enough of an issue to make a poll of it.

Perhaps the adults at House B expected oblivious child to take responsibility for it. I certainly would have.
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#26 of 46 Old 05-19-2008, 07:45 PM
 
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I just have to say that I am looking out the window at my son's favorite pair of shoes, which are out on the back porch because... yup... he stepped in dog poop. No, not today... not yesterday... I think it was probably at least two weeks ago. Apparently my husband and I are both waiting for the magic poop fairy to come clean them off while we aren't looking.

Parenting four little monkeys (11, 8, 6, and 4) with the love of my life. Making it up as I go.
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#27 of 46 Old 05-19-2008, 07:57 PM
 
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I don't think it really matters. I think dwelling on this kind of stuff just creates tension between House A and House B. Who knows why the poop didn't get cleaned off? Maybe things were really hectic at House B and they never got around to it.
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#28 of 46 Old 05-19-2008, 08:13 PM
 
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Just so you know - I throw sneakers in the washing machine all the time. It may not be great for sneakers, but it does get them clean. Those light-up shoes even continue to work afterwards.

Tanya
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#29 of 46 Old 05-19-2008, 08:18 PM
 
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Those light-up shoes even continue to work afterwards.
THat is very good to know!
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#30 of 46 Old 05-19-2008, 08:19 PM
 
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We have dogs and dad doesn't, I would *never* purposely/knowingly send him poopy shoes! Even if he was being um, not the way I wanted - that's what divorce is for, it doesn't give me the right or good karma to be that cruel.

Heather, mama to Harriet, Crispin, in with Tom and 2
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