Stepmother still at it. - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-18-2008, 12:34 PM
 
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Do you mind telling us what state you are in? My mind is boggling that anyone could be required to have a lawyer.
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Old 06-18-2008, 01:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am in GA.

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Old 06-18-2008, 01:58 PM
 
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Here is a great website to get started. I found this website with a quick google search .. it's for DeKalb County, but forms are state wide, so they should work for your county.

http://www.co.dekalb.ga.us/dekalbflic/

You do NOT have to have an attorney, it is a basic right to be able to represent yourself in court. Sure, and attorney makes it easier, but it's not required.

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Old 06-18-2008, 02:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Transitions View Post
...She has his insurance card, she had the password to his school grades and wouldnt give it to me, she took him to a couselor without my permission, I could go on. and on. I do not even have his dad's work #, so if there was an emergency, I would have to call HER....
First of all, My children's step mother is really horrible to them, and bad mouths me, so I feel your pain.

As for the information, you have a legal right to it. Both parents have a responsibility to keep each other informed as to home and work addresses and home and work phone numbers. Furthermore, both parents have equal access to the child's medical, insurance and school information. If your son really does want to live with you, you can appear pro se and file a request for audience in chambers, so that your son can meet with the judge and discuss the situation and his preferences. 14 is generally old enough for a child to be taken seriously.

You don't need $3,000 to change the custody arrangements if you do it yourself. (That's how much an attorney would charge. )

ETA: Can you tell I work for a law firm?

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Old 06-18-2008, 02:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You do NOT have to have an attorney, it is a basic right to be able to represent yourself in court. Sure, and attorney makes it easier, but it's not required.
They are telling me I do, in the county I live in. I dont know how to argue with them. I dont know what to do because they are telling me no.

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Old 06-18-2008, 02:43 PM
 
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Can you file a request for a change in parenting time with Friend of the Court? That may be an easier route.

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Old 06-18-2008, 02:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Transitions View Post
They are telling me I do, in the county I live in. I dont know how to argue with them. I dont know what to do because they are telling me no.
What county is it?

If I can find the Rules of Court for that county, I can have your request drafted in about 15 minutes. (And I won't charge you $3,000! )

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Old 06-18-2008, 02:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Can you file a request for a change in parenting time with Friend of the Court? That may be an easier route
I dont know...never heard of the friend of the court, but I guess I could ask them. Thanks.

Quote:
What county is it?

If I can find the Rules of Court for that county, I can have your request drafted in about 15 minutes. (And I won't charge you $3,000! )
Wow! That is so nice of you! I will PM you my county. Thank you. Wow!

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Old 06-26-2008, 01:09 AM
 
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Originally Posted by myra_mcgray View Post
I think that it is totally reasonable for a parent to vent about a steparent in a blended parenting board. I am a stepmom and I like having this place to vent but do not think it is unreasonable for a biological parent to vent about the stepmom of their child in a blended parent forum. I also am not sure that steparents are the only people on this board and if a steparent is being unreasonable in a blended family situation it seems to me this is an appropriate place to post.
I agree. We get a lot of the people from the step-parenting board over at the single parenting board. Not all of the parents over at single parenting have experience dealing with blended/step families. Some of us are trying to make our way and figure out how to make it all work, as I'm sure most of the people here are too. It's helpful when people can "cross over" to get advice.

To the OP, you've gotten some great advice here. I hope you can find a resolution soon.
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Old 06-26-2008, 05:11 AM
 
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I think most of the people here have better advice than I, but I wanted to add that if you don't get this figured out for how to do it alone (w/out a lawyer) before school starts again, I would go to your DSs school and talk with the counselors.

They should be able to have some idea of how to help you, it gives a record that you've been seeking help for your son's issues with his dad and SM, etc.

Hugs, momma. I feel so bad for your DS.

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Old 06-26-2008, 06:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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HI I just wanted to say thanks for all replies, it is still being worked on. Ds is here with me though and doing fine. I have talked to DS stepmom about what happened, in a civil way and she has apologized and agreed not to ever talk about me again or say those things. Which I dont believe, but at least she did apologize to me and to him. So the peace is there for now.

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Old 06-27-2008, 12:11 AM
 
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Catholic, Lutheran, and Jewish Social Services all have counseling on a sliding scale. As a child and teen I was abused emotionally by my father's wife. My father did nothing to stop it, which is abusive in it's own right. I finally had an emotional breakdown. My mother brought me to a counselor. The counselor had a talk that went somethng like this: "Courtenay will no longer be going to your house. You may see her anywhere and anytime you would like to see her, as long as it is not at your house and your wife is not present. If you feel the need to fight this in court, I will testify on her behalf." He knew that he would not win in any way with abuse documented by a counselor. SO he agreed. I do not know that that would completely work in this case, but I would STRONGLY suggest that you seek free/sliding scale counseling for your son. He will need this for quite a long time, if my experience is any indicator! There is a LOT of crap that goes along with a father who doesn't care about their child enough to intervene in an abusive relationship being perpetrated by their spouse. I would strongly suggest that while he IS with you, you surround your son with MANY strong positive male influences--guys who love him because of who he is, not because they are blood relations. When he grows up, this might help him come to the realization that there were men who loved him because he is special, not because blood "required" it of them...and that his father is the one who lost out.

DO try to seek out counseling for him. There are many sources of low cost or free care, you might have to look for them, but they ARE out there. And they WILL stand up for your son, if it is necessary.

Getting taped proof that the behaviour is occuring can be very helpful, by the way, if you can figure a way of doing it. We finally got my father's wife's psychotic behavior recorded when she started pranking our house more than 60 times a day for years on end. We finally figured out who it was when *69 was invented...and then reported her to the phone company, who got the cops involved, who tapped her line and ours, and then the courts got involved. Free of charge. Not that this woman is making prank calls, but that if you can get proof, it can get other people involved who can help you. Your standing up for your son will in the long term be a very VERY good thing for him emotionally. I can not stress enough how damaging this can be to a child or a teen ager.

This would be the case, by the way, were it perpetrated by a mother, a father, a cousin, OR a father's wife.

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Old 06-27-2008, 12:15 AM
 
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By the way, Mamas, thank you for supporting this mother.

For those of you who don't think she belonged here, please see the sticky at the top of the page. This group is NOT all Step-Mothers. It is for parents who are in any part of the Blended or Step Family. Thank you for respecting that, and for being respectful to parents who are coming here for support.

It is understood that some of you would prefer to have a "Step-Family Only" forum. That is not going to happen at this time. Thank you for respecting the boundries in this forum if you wish to continue to post here.


Warmly,
Courtenay_e, Moderator of BLENDED and Step-Family Parenting

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