Join Date: May 2008
Location: Floating down a river of bliss
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I have a dss on a 50/50 split and it is terrible. My dss has many problems from being shuffeled every 2-3 days. This has been going on now for about 6 years and he to was in therapy. I have just now convinced dh that it was not in his sons best interest and he has been letting him spend more time with his mom due to his sports schedule. We only had him about 20% of the time this summer. My dss is the happiest I have seen him. My husband refuses to switch anything legally but has been allowing him more time in the other home. The past six years have been hard on all involved. My dss never felt like he had a home to call his own. Yesterday for the first time he said ,"At my house we have..... Prior to yesterday it was his moms or dads house. Also, we live 45 min away from his school, friends, and moms. He had a difficult time making friends. I feel really bad that he did not have a healthy childhood as he suffered many insecurities because of this schedule. I say if my dh had to do it all over again he would not have picked this schedule. There were times during the school week that my dss did not arrive at our house until 7:00 pm only to have to leave for school at 6:45 the next morning. (Due to traffic) I would advise you to change the custody back to traditional before your child suffers anymore. That is so sad that your ex is only thinking about himself. I have no problem with dss coming to our house as a matter of fact I suggested he live here all the time but not in both places. Imagine if you had to change homes every 2-3 days you would be looking forward to the day this merry go round would stop. I would tell anyone never to agree to a 50/50 split it is not in your childs best interest. If you want request traditional visitation and give liberal visits based on what your child can accept. This is why most states have a presumptive against split residential custody as judges do not want to be responsible for such emotional child abuse.
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