Our first overnight during the week-Went Awesome! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 09-05-2008, 10:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yesterday was the start of our new custody schedule. (We were only getting her for 2 hours Tues. & Thurs. + EOW... now we have her overnight on Thurs. + EOW) The two hours were always rushed and it was basically hurry up to eat dinner, then clean up, then maybe a half hour or so before her Mom got there... and DSD could never get comfortable as she knew her Mom would be picking her up and would linger watching the window, anticipating her arrival...

Last night was our first overnight on a school night and it went sooo much better! No one felt rushed. We got to take our time with eating dinner and still had plenty of time to play and bond afterwards! DSD didn't have the trepidadtion of when her Mom was coming to pick her up because she knew she was staying, so she was able to relax and enjoy her time with us better too. It really was a huge difference. She was happy the whole night, excited she got to stay with us.

DH got to spend one-on-one time with her while I made dinner and cleaned up, then we all went to play in the yard after I was done as a family! Once DH went to work, then DSD and I ate ice cream together, and I gave her a bath, and we read some bed time stories. It was a really good night.

And this morning she was happy too, and when I dropped her off at school she was waving to the other kids and excited that she got to bring something from Daddy's house for the first time for show & tell.

We are really happy her Mom went for the change. I think this is going to be really good for everyone.

It does kind of suck for us though... we will have to go longer stretches without seeing her. Weeks we don't have her on the weekend it will be a full week before we see her again (like this week... we won't see her til next Thursday night now)... but then we will have her for 4 days in a row for our weekend.

In the end our biggest deciding factor was doing what was best for DSD, and we can already see it will make a significant impact. We were all able to relax a lot more last night and it was nice having breakfast as a family this morning before we all had to go our separate ways for the day.

I'm just really happy today because of it.

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#2 of 7 Old 09-05-2008, 11:57 AM
 
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It is heartwarming to hear about your happy family.

:

Phanta
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#3 of 7 Old 09-05-2008, 04:47 PM
 
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Congratulations!!

Is phone/computer access limited or unlimited? I know our custody agreement allows for unlimited phone/computer access, so while dd is at her dad's house, she either calls me or I call her to say goodnight. You and your dh might want to consider calling her at bedtime to say goodnight, sending e-mails daily, that sort of thing, just to let her know that you're thinking about her when she's not there. That way you can keep in touch and that week won't seem as long.
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#4 of 7 Old 09-05-2008, 11:05 PM
 
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I'm glad it worked out for you!
How did you convince her mom it was a good idea? (if you feel like sharing, of course!)

Single mama namaste.gif to dd dust.gifand ds fencing.gif, loving my dsd always reading.gif .
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#5 of 7 Old 09-06-2008, 10:10 AM
 
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Very happy for all involved.

New endeavor coming soon...
Raising Alice in Wonderland (DSD, 17), and in love with a Superman
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#6 of 7 Old 09-06-2008, 11:13 AM
 
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thats fantastic I am so happy that it went well for you guys. that does seem sad though that now you have to wait a week to see her again. but you get 4 days on the weekend so I guess it balances out

Annemarie ~catholic mom of 8 -4 boys (19-16-10-7).Emma)2 girls (3 and 1)Someone new due in April too!An yes I Blog @ You Leave me breadless blog
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#7 of 7 Old 09-07-2008, 10:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Strangeduck... they don't have a computer at home. Sometimes DSD's Mom and I email while she is at work for different things, she even sent me some recipes once... but DSD wouldn't get to be read them at home.

As for phone... she is 4 and easily distracted. lol If we call we may get to here a hello, but she isn't much of a phone talker, she is just too young.



greenemami, honestly I'm not sure what changed her mind from the last time we inquired about some sort of extra overnight... DH approached it like suggested letting her know we all have seen how tired DSD has been, and she fully agreed. He told her he didn't want to be selfish and continuing seeing her every other day when it was wearing on her so badly and wanted to do what was best for her and gave her the proposed idea of going to just Thursday overnights for our weekly visits... and DSD's Mom said yes and gave us a school schedule.


Maybe because DH and I are married now? I don't know... but even DH said he noticed that DSD's Mom has been way more cordial and friendly and just more willing to work on things since the marriage... kind of odd since sometimes it seems to go the other way. I think she is getting excited to meet DSD's sister too.

As strange as it is getting used to her changed behavior, I'm very grateful she is being nicer to me and things are going much smoother and there is less stress.

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