He Called Child Services On Me?!?! - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-17-2008, 12:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am so infuriated. Due to all that was going on at ex's house, I told him that I was cancelling the extra over night visit during the week because it wasn't court-ordered and she didn't want to go at all...so I wouldn't stand in the way of the court ordered EOW, but since he didn't want to work with his daughter on the problems the are having, until she'd worked some stuff out in counseling, he couldn't have "extra" time.

So, today while I was resting before picking my daughter up from school, a social worker knocked on the door (my partner didn't answer because she thought it was the Jehovah's Witnesses again). When I opened the door to go pick dd up from school, I saw that card from the social worker stuck in the screen.

I called and left a message for the social worker, right away. And called to ask ex what was going on because we had had a reasonable discussion with last night about trying to work things out for dd. That's when he tells me he called child services because he thought my house was "too dirty," because I'm sick (with Lupus and Fibromyalgia) and don't clean it as often as he wants...and something to do with me no cleaning up after my animals. (He hates our "zoo") WTF? I'm not Martha Stewart or anything but my house isn't so bad that child services needs to be involved.

So, when dd got in the car, she wanted to know if I had set up the "lady who came and talked to her at school." Because child services went to her school, and pulled her out of class to ask her what was going on in her life and if she was okay. Dd, of course, started telling the social worker about the problems she's having with her dad. Couldn't figure out why the lady was so interested in our animals, but said "I told her Charlie (our dog) jumps on you even though you're sick, and I told her the rats' names." So, I had to tell her that the, no, I didn't set it up, but that the lady just wanted to make sure she was okay, and whatever she told her was okay.

The social worker called me back and is coming to check out my house tomorrow at 11:00 to make sure it's safe for dd. I really don't have anything to hide, so having the social worker come to my house is not that big of a deal, it's just so infuriating that dd's father would involve child services over my house, when it's not my house she's refusing to go to, and I haven't done anything in violation of the custody order.
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Old 09-17-2008, 12:48 AM
 
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Just in case you get one of the difficult kind of social worker I'd clean more than usual. Odds are everything will be fine so I wouldn't worry too much but just as a precaution. The cleaner your house=the bigger liar your ex will seem.
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Old 09-17-2008, 12:59 PM
 
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Old 09-17-2008, 01:14 PM
 
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My father is the worlds biggest slob and my mom called DSS to report him during their great child custody, whos the better parent war... We barely even did anything to the house and the caseworker pretty much thought that this whole exercise was a waste of her time because nothing was hazardous... just a little dusty. So the next time my mom called DSS they came around again, same story. Third time, they just called him to let him know that a complaint had been filed.

Just keep being the bigger person mama, it will all work in your favor.
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Old 09-17-2008, 04:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oy...well, the SW has been and gone and is closing out the complaint. She didn't confirm that ex called, but since I had confirmation from ex's lips...

It's all rather anticlimactic since I spent the whole night lying awake terrified that I'd left something somewhere inadvertently and that I would then be called an unfit mother and lose my child. Trying to decide if the dust on the alcohol bottles at the top of my cupboards is a sign that I'm not an alcoholic or a sign of my bad housekeeping.

And not to sound self-righteous or anything...but it's really sickening that SWs are having to take time out to investigate petty reports in custody cases. Every time I hear about some kid who got injured or killed because of SW case overload, I'm going to think about this and be that much more angry.
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Old 09-17-2008, 06:06 PM
 
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glad everything went well.
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Old 09-17-2008, 08:48 PM
 
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Grrrr! I have called CPS because dsd told me that her uncle "tickled her down there", but she quickly stated it was an accident! Hmmm. . . But no one investigated this. Why, does it seem like when someone has an actual valid concern that CPS is too busy to care?
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Old 09-17-2008, 11:18 PM
 
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*hugs* to the op

New endeavor coming soon...
Raising Alice in Wonderland (DSD, 17), and in love with a Superman
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Old 09-18-2008, 12:46 AM
 
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Sorry you had to go through all that, Mama! Glad to hear that it's over with!!

Mama to two awesome kids. Wife to a wonderful, attached, loving husband. I love my job-- I'm a Midwife, Doula and Childbirth Educator, Classes forming now!

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Old 09-18-2008, 11:27 AM
 
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It's ironic that he did that- I've just told you to ring CPS in your other thread about his abusive choice to withhold your DD's medication. Big hugs- and one thing I will offer you. A contact within social services can be worth your weight in gold if you're negotiating with other agencies. Did you talk to her about the situation with DD's dad?

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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Old 09-18-2008, 09:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strangeduck View Post
Trying to decide if the dust on the alcohol bottles at the top of my cupboards is a sign that I'm not an alcoholic or a sign of my bad housekeeping.
Funny you mention that. One of the things my mother pointed out when she called DSS trying to get my sisters removed from my dads house was that he had bottles of liquor in his house within reach of his kids (who were all over 10... so anything is within reach) The SW commented on the dust on the bottles citing that since they were mostly full and dusty that was a good sign.
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