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#1 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 01:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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i was just wondering what other step parents are being called.

last night my youngest was calling my boyfriend "mama"
right now the kids have been calling him brandon.
my oldest considers him her friend or says 'my moms friend, brandon'
its been almost a year, were convinced were permanent and hes taking on a much more parental role. im wondering if hes ever going to be anything other than moms friend brandon...

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#2 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 09:09 AM
 
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How old are your kids and is their Biological Father in the picture?

My stepdaughter WANTS to call me "Krissy Mommy" or "Mommy Krissy" or "Mom" or "Mommy" and similar names. I met her Dad when she was a year old, moved in with them when she was three years old and married her Dad when she was four years old. This started about 8 or 10 months after I moved in with her and her Dad. What my Mother is ALLOWED to call me is "Krissy" or preferably, "my Stepmother" or, even better, "Daddy's Wife". (These are not my idea- I would prefer her calling me whatever she's comfortable with- but her Mother apparently has insecurity issues, so she actually had it put in the custody and visitation papers that she can't call me anything that has to do with "Mom" or "Mommy" and no one else is allowed to call her "daughter", except her Mom and her Dad, which, as you can see, just muddies the waters, and confuses the child.) Anyways, I think my own stepdaughter would have been calling me "Mom" after about a year and my son started calling my Hubby "Dad" after a year and a half. Also, if your oldest daughter is not comfortable isn't comfortable calling your boyfriend "Dad", maybe they can have their own special nicknames for eachother. My stepdaughter recently decided that she's gonna call me Chrysanthemum.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#3 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 09:32 AM
 
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I came in into my dsd's life when she was 7 (now 15), and she always called me by my first name. We have a pretty good relationship, but I don't think she'll ever call me "mom".

My sister's daughter does call her "mom", and actually started doing so after birth of her sibling in my sister's family. Her real mom died when she was little , so I think she really needed that more than my dsd.

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#4 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 09:39 AM
 
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I've known my dsd since she was 2.5. She has always called me by my first name.

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#5 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 10:04 AM
 
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I have known my DSD for over a year and she calls me by my first name... more because that is what her parents are comfortable with than anything else though.

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#6 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 10:32 AM
 
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We have a 5 and 3 year old that are my bio kids and a 3 year old that is dh's bio daughter. When we are all together we refer to each other as Mommy Julie and Daddy Matt because it was too long and confusing to split things up to direct to each kid, example "Mommy and Matt, Julie and Daddy are making dinner, can you three play nicely?" Just drawn out and confusing. So we refer to each other as Daddy matt and Mommy Julie. Madison calls me Julie most of the time, sometimes MJ (for mommy julie). Maia calls Matt- Squiggles (her special nickname, in the begining we told her she could call him anything except dad or daddy and she thought this was hilarious), Matty, and ocassional daddy matt. Sage calls him Matty or Daddy Matt interchangably.
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#7 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 10:58 AM
 
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When he's feeling particularly lovey-dovey toward me, DSS calls me "The Step-ster" or just "Step-ster."

Otherwise, both he and DSD call me by my first name.

My DDs also call DH by his first name.

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#8 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 11:16 AM
 
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Harleyhalfmoon: Not wanting your child to call someone else "Mom" or "Mommy", etc, isn't necessarily an insecurity issue. I'd be seriously pissed off if DD's dad and stepmom had her call her stepmom some form of "Mom". However, they would never even consider this, because they respect me, and her stepmom has no interest in usurping my role. She loves DD, and loves parenting her, but she isn't her mother. We also see stepparent as a perfectly valid parent, and a perfectly valid parenting role. Just like DH and I would never have DD call him any form of "Dad". She has A Mom and A Dad, and she also has a stepmom and a stepdad. I'm really insulted by your attitude.

OP: DD calls DH and her stepmom by their first names. Noone gets confused. I had stepparents, and I called them by their first names. All of my parents, including stepparents, called me their daughter (unless there was a need to specify the step relationship). There was never any confusion when I got a sister through my dad and stepmom. When I was talking to my sister, I referred to my stepmom as "mommy", as in, "go in there to mommy."

Kids hear other people refer to their parents by their first names. It's not that much different when it's an older (half)sibling. You explain a few times, "no, Sissy* calls me X, but you call me Mommy," and the kid figures it out. You're going to have that conversation anyway, unless your partner always calls you mommy, never by your first name. (Which would be kinda creepy.)



*yes, my baby sister called me Sissy. She's 20 and she still does. Sigh.

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#9 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 11:30 AM
 
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Originally Posted by CorasMama View Post
Harleyhalfmoon: Not wanting your child to call someone else "Mom" or "Mommy", etc, isn't necessarily an insecurity issue. I'd be seriously pissed off if DD's dad and stepmom had her call her stepmom some form of "Mom". However, they would never even consider this, because they respect me, and her stepmom has no interest in usurping my role. She loves DD, and loves parenting her, but she isn't her mother. We also see stepparent as a perfectly valid parent, and a perfectly valid parenting role. Just like DH and I would never have DD call him any form of "Dad". She has A Mom and A Dad, and she also has a stepmom and a stepdad. I'm really insulted by your attitude.

I don't think Harley has ever ever tried to usurp her DSD's Mom's role.

It would be theraputic I think if everyone tried to see things from the other sides role sometimes.

StepMoms are StepMOMS... just being called by our first name like some friend or something can be really agitating at times, and it can cause disrespect in the home because there is no clear title of authority.

There are still times that it bothers me that EVERY single adult who is important in DSD's life has some sort of respective title, but me... it makes it seem like I have no authority or whatever you want to call it with her.

All her teachers at school and dance are Miss so and so... all her relatives, step and otherwise are Grammy, Aunt, Uncle, etc... then there is me with just my name. My sisters are Aunts, my parents are grandparents and I'm just Jen.


This has been increasingly confusing for her as we talk about the baby joining our family. DSD cannot wrap her mind around that fact that I am a Mother at all. When we say I am Kallie's mother she will laugh and say "no silly, you are Jen, not a Mommy!" And things like that. It doesn't matter how many times we explain it, she just doesn't see me like that.

So I think in cases with small children... and when the blending begins with additional children it can cause a lot of confusion...

But this has nothing at all to do with usurping DSD's Mother's role... I am fully aware DSD has a Mom... but fact of the matter is she also has a StepMom. And I honestly don't see why it is such a hard thing for all parents to be given equal respect just like every other family member.

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#10 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 11:51 AM
 
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Harleyhalfmoon: Not wanting your child to call someone else "Mom" or "Mommy", etc, isn't necessarily an insecurity issue.
Insulted by my attitude? My stepdaughter's Mother will not even allow my stepdaughter to mention my name in her presence. She's not allowed to refer to me as her Stepmother because the word has "mother" at the end. If my stepdaughter even refers to me as anything besides "Daddy's Wife" in front of her Mother, or expresses any enjoyment in anything she "has" to do with me and her Mother finds out, she has to worry about hurting Mommy's feelings and trying to replace Mommy with "that woman". This is said to an 8 year old child. If that's not insecurity, I don't know what is.

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I'd be seriously pissed off if DD's dad and stepmom had her call her stepmom some form of "Mom".
I don't think anyone mentions "having their child call their Stepmother Mom". You try constantly pushing a child away who wants to bad to be "yours", as well as her Mom and Dad's, especially when it's the child who's wanting that close relationship. If my stepdaughter wanted to call me Mom and was allowed to, I would not be pushing her away, making her feel like a second class person- "Sorry little girl, you're not MY child." You explain to a child when they ask "Why don't you want me for a little girl." and you can't tell them the truth- MOMMY doesn't want me to be part of your family- so you end up hurting the child by, in her eyes, "rejecting" her over and over again. Gee... I wonder where I could have gotten my "attitude"? Believe it or not, not all Stepmtoehr's are out to "steal" their stepchildren or "have" them call them Mom to unsurp their Mom's role.

Neither would I force her or "have" her call me Mom if she never came up with it first.

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We also see stepparent as a perfectly valid parent, and a perfectly valid parenting role
If you do see a Stepparent as a perfectly valid parent, then you're a better person than alot of people I know. In my experience, a Stepparent is lower than a teacher, lower than a babysitter, lower than a distant relative you've never met but you're related to by blood. In my experience, a Stepparent is to be disrespected, as much and as often as possible, in front of the child and, if somehow, despite all this, the child still loves the Stepparent, then the child and the Stepparent are both in the wrong and should both be "punished" in any way possible. In my experience, a Stepparent is only there to steal you're Husband (that you already divorced) and steal your child and should be treated like the lowest scum of the earth. Not all parents who have stepparent counterparts are nice, or even thinking in the best interest of their child, you know. Unfortunately.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#11 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 11:54 AM
 
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I don't think Harley has ever ever tried to usurp her DSD's Mom's role.

It would be theraputic I think if everyone tried to see things from the other sides role sometimes.

StepMoms are StepMOMS... just being called by our first name like some friend or something can be really agitating at times, and it can cause disrespect in the home because there is no clear title of authority.

There are still times that it bothers me that EVERY single adult who is important in DSD's life has some sort of respective title, but me... it makes it seem like I have no authority or whatever you want to call it with her.

All her teachers at school and dance are Miss so and so... all her relatives, step and otherwise are Grammy, Aunt, Uncle, etc... then there is me with just my name. My sisters are Aunts, my parents are grandparents and I'm just Jen.


This has been increasingly confusing for her as we talk about the baby joining our family. DSD cannot wrap her mind around that fact that I am a Mother at all. When we say I am Kallie's mother she will laugh and say "no silly, you are Jen, not a Mommy!" And things like that. It doesn't matter how many times we explain it, she just doesn't see me like that.

So I think in cases with small children... and when the blending begins with additional children it can cause a lot of confusion...

But this has nothing at all to do with usurping DSD's Mother's role... I am fully aware DSD has a Mom... but fact of the matter is she also has a StepMom. And I honestly don't see why it is such a hard thing for all parents to be given equal respect just like every other family member.
JSMa, you say things much better than I do.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#12 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 12:47 PM
 
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harleyhalfmoon- is that even legally valid to request a CHILD not call another person certain names/terms? i mean how is that enforceable? i don't know why judges/lawyers put stuff on paper that isn't really legally enforceable. even the good stuff like "no bad talking about the other parent to the kids" isn't REALLY enforeceable as one cannot police another's home and even if one could what could one do about it? it is sad for the child though, that what they choose to call someone in their life is dictated by someone else. usuallu kids come up with their own creative namings so it seems futile to create mandates for this behavior. so sad for the kid pschologically.

my step sons usually call me emily, but my DSS age 6 oftenm says "mommy" and then says "i mean emily" and i say "it's ok to call me whatever you want to call me". my son has occaisionally called my DH "dad" but i think kids at the ages our kids are feel protective of their biological/custodial parents and try not to call their stpparents mom or dad because they are growing up and learning that parents get all up in arms about silly things like names.
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#13 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 01:40 PM
 
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Ladies. I know that this is a heated topic. Please PLEASE remember to keep the "comfortable and respectful atmosphere" that you all agreed to when you signed the User Agreement, and not to generalize in your posts. I think this is a valid discussion and really want to keep it open. Thanks for your help with this!

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#14 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 01:41 PM
 
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Just to lighten the mood a little, here's a funny one for you:

When my daughter Eleanor comes back to me after a week with her father and stepmother (Amy), she usually goes through a few hours of calling me "Amy" before the Mom thing kicks back in.

I actually get the biggest kick out of it and we have a running game that we play when she does this. She'll say, "hey Amy, can I play my new piano song for you?" And I'll say, "Yes Philomena, please do." And she'll say, "Okay Gertrude, come over here and I'll play it for you!" And we go back and forth trying to come up with increasingly silly names to call one another until we just fall over laughing from the effort. Last week, we got to a point where she literally could not think of one more name and called me "Grass." I laughed so hard I cried.

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#15 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 02:15 PM
 
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That is great Sarah!

I have to agree with Harley half-moon. Why does every other important adult in a child's life get a special name? Give a step-parent a special name and the world falls apart.

In the divorced parent parenting class I had to attend prior to my divorce (county requirement) the psychologists (2 of them) and the social worker all said that if the child decides to bestow the title of mom/mommy/mother/momma, whatever, on the step-parent that is a a wonderful sign of healthy attachment and healthy relationships. All pointed out that really the one that gets hurt or has an issue is the bio parent and that it is an adult issue not a child issue.

I am imagining how aweful it would be, our three year olds running up to Matt yelling together "Daddy, daddy, guess what?" only to be answered with "Sage, call me Matt, I am not your daddy, I'm Madisons."
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#16 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 02:22 PM
 
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My first name, or one of many nicknames she's invented, or very occasionally "mommy" or "mom" or "hey you." Her mother is "mama," I've never had a desire to be called "mama" by anyone (just my preference), and her mom has affirmatively stated it's OK if she calls me "mommy" (she said this WAY before it would have been appropriate, too), so it works out OK.

Sometimes, she does the list: "Mom! I mean...Mrs. Teacher....I mean...PROTOLAWYER!"

(Her dad does it, too--most of the women in his life have names ending in the same sound and it trips him up.)

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#17 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 02:29 PM
 
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Mommyto3girls... I wish that class was mandatory throughout more states. lol


DSD had "slipped" up and called me Mommy a few times months ago and DH reacted so strongly, same when she "slipped" up and called her Mom's BF Daddy... so after being yelled at and scared to ever slip up again several times she hasn't done it... I fear this has led to the total confusion that I am in no uncertain terms a Mother.

I tried telling DH then that this could be an issue, but he said she is too young and shouldn't get confused her her Mother and Father are and if she decides when she is older to call us Mom and Dad, as long as she understand we aren't her biological Mother and Father then he'd learn to deal with it...

Though I think with spending more and more time with my Mother's family is opening him up to see that blood doesn't have to be involved to be a substantial parent in one's life. My Mother has always called her stepfather Dad, and her step brothers and sisters have always been just brothers and sisters.


I think it is incredibly damaging to a child to be told that some parents are less than others, and I'm sorry, but to me, that is exactly what telling them that the title cannot be used for one of their parents does... it undermines stepparents in my personal opinion.

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#18 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 02:32 PM
 
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My dsc call me by my first name. My dss has always done so. My dsd started out calling me "mom" and "mommy" right after we got married -- she was VERY excited about being able to do so--but within a couple of weeks she suddenly started calling me by my first name. We are quite sure that her maternal grandmother and her bio mom put an end to it. My position all along was that they could call me whatever felt right to them. I don't have a vested interested in it personally. All I want is for the kids to feel comfortable, so for that reason I felt a bit sad that dsd was made to feel like it wasn't appropriate.

I'm sure that if my exh ever remarries and my dc call their stepmother "Mom" it will sting. So I don't blame biomom for her feelings at all. But I have always been very clear to the kids that I'm not their mom, that they already have a mom, but that I am another parent in their lives and someone who loves them a lot. What they call me just doesn't really matter to me.
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#19 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 02:40 PM
 
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Mommyto3girls... I wish that class was mandatory throughout more states. lol


DSD had "slipped" up and called me Mommy a few times months ago and DH reacted so strongly, same when she "slipped" up and called her Mom's BF Daddy... so after being yelled at and scared to ever slip up again several times she hasn't done it... I fear this has led to the total confusion that I am in no uncertain terms a Mother.

I tried telling DH then that this could be an issue, but he said she is too young and shouldn't get confused her her Mother and Father are and if she decides when she is older to call us Mom and Dad, as long as she understand we aren't her biological Mother and Father then he'd learn to deal with it...

Though I think with spending more and more time with my Mother's family is opening him up to see that blood doesn't have to be involved to be a substantial parent in one's life. My Mother has always called her stepfather Dad, and her step brothers and sisters have always been just brothers and sisters.


I think it is incredibly damaging to a child to be told that some parents are less than others, and I'm sorry, but to me, that is exactly what telling them that the title cannot be used for one of their parents does... it undermines stepparents in my personal opinion.
:

Well said, JSMa.

I would urge all parents who have a problem with thier children calling another loved, trusted adult by a special name to very closely examine the reasons behind their discomfort (or anger!). Do you *truly* believe that it would be damaging to your child to have a special name for their step-mother or step-father? If so, ask yourself *how* it would be damaging. Does your relationship with your child *really* suffer because she chooses to call her step-mother "ma?" Has something been taken away from you as a biological parent?

As a bio-parent and a step-parent, I can tell you that of course it's strange and even sometimes hurtful to see your child loving another parent-figure just as it's confusing and delicate to try to figure out how to express love for your step-child.

Please be gentle with each other. I promise you that it's in the best interest of the wonderful children in your lives.

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#20 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 02:47 PM
 
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My dsc call me by my first name. My dss has always done so. My dsd started out calling me "mom" and "mommy" right after we got married -- she was VERY excited about being able to do so--but within a couple of weeks she suddenly started calling me by my first name. We are quite sure that her maternal grandmother and her bio mom put an end to it. My position all along was that they could call me whatever felt right to them. I don't have a vested interested in it personally. All I want is for the kids to feel comfortable, so for that reason I felt a bit sad that dsd was made to feel like it wasn't appropriate.

I'm sure that if my exh ever remarries and my dc call their stepmother "Mom" it will sting. So I don't blame biomom for her feelings at all. But I have always been very clear to the kids that I'm not their mom, that they already have a mom, but that I am another parent in their lives and someone who loves them a lot. What they call me just doesn't really matter to me.
while my situation is not the same, I have exact same feelings on the subject. I'm with "whatever feels right to the child" kind of name. I strongly disagree with shaming kids into calling stepparents one thing or another.

I remember a post here from someone who was a stepchild, and they were forced to call their stepmom "MOM" growing up. That only built resentment, since it wasn't natural.

I also naturally disagree with telling a child "don't call me mommy", or "don't call HER mom, she's not your mom", if they feel drawn to use "mom" with their stepmom out of their own choice.

Overall, I think the quality of the relationship is more important than the name. Although, if dsd will ever call me "mom", I will melt.

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#21 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 03:13 PM
 
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I remember a post here from someone who was a stepchild, and they were forced to call their stepmom "MOM" growing up. That only built resentment, since it wasn't natural.

I also naturally disagree with telling a child "don't call me mommy", or "don't call HER mom, she's not your mom", if they feel drawn to use "mom" with their stepmom out of their own choice.
Yes, this is the exact point that the psycologists and social workers were making. And the one spoke from experience, he was forced to call his step-dad "dad" and was resentful, but when his dad remarried his relationship with his stepmother was allowed to develop at its own pace and he eventually bestowed the title of mom onto her as well. Allowing him to decide when she earned it was the important part in his mind and that of the other professionals.
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#22 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 03:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mommyto3girls View Post
Yes, this is the exact point that the psycologists and social workers were making. And the one spoke from experience, he was forced to call his step-dad "dad" and was resentful, but when his dad remarried his relationship with his stepmother was allowed to develop at its own pace and he eventually bestowed the title of mom onto her as well. Allowing him to decide when she earned it was the important part in his mind and that of the other professionals.
Interestingly my dss has on several occasions slipped and called me "mom". He always calls attention to it when he does it and I always reassure him that whatever he calls me is fine. The times he has done it have always been after we've spent some quality time together, usually just the two of us working on homework or just hanging out. But what is most funny about my dsc is that at least half the time they refer to their dad by his first name just like my dc do! And we let that slide as well. It's such a huge transition for all of them that we just aren't going to make a big deal over the names.
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#23 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 04:12 PM
 
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My step child ofter referrers to me as mom. The child is not suppose to call me mom as directed by the bio mom and is ONLY suppose to call me on a first name basis. We have often corrected her when the child does call me mom but now at a point were we think the child knows my name but chooses not to use it so we have stopped. I think this maybe because we have other children that call me mom but not sure
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#24 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 05:07 PM
 
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That is great Sarah!

I have to agree with Harley half-moon. Why does every other important adult in a child's life get a special name? Give a step-parent a special name and the world falls apart.

In the divorced parent parenting class I had to attend prior to my divorce (county requirement) the psychologists (2 of them) and the social worker all said that if the child decides to bestow the title of mom/mommy/mother/momma, whatever, on the step-parent that is a a wonderful sign of healthy attachment and healthy relationships. All pointed out that really the one that gets hurt or has an issue is the bio parent and that it is an adult issue not a child issue.

I am imagining how aweful it would be, our three year olds running up to Matt yelling together "Daddy, daddy, guess what?" only to be answered with "Sage, call me Matt, I am not your daddy, I'm Madisons."
that is so fantastic that the county you live in REQUIRES divorce therapy/group counceling sessions. my DH wanted to go to post-divorce counceling/parenting sessions with his ex but she refused.
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#25 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 06:49 PM
 
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My step-daughter calls me by a nickname that we made up for me. I came into her life when she was an infant and have lived with her since she was just over a year. I wasn't comfortable with my first name, we knew her mother wouldn't be comfortable with any version of "mom," so we made up our own compromise, which is a nickname that feels "mom-ish" to me but is not actually "mom."

My son (the middle child) goes back and forth between calling me mama and my family nickname, and the second is more often used when his sister is around. The youngest always says mama.

My step-daughter sometimes calls me mom, very occasionally by my first name. If she corrects herself, I just tell her it doesn't matter to me what she calls me, that I know who she is talking about. Likewise, I don't correct my son for using a nickname instead of "mama."

My step-daughter's mom will only call me by my first name, and for a while my step-daughter changed what she called me depending on her audience. It seems like now she calls me by our nickname regardless of who she is talking to.

Confusing enough for you?

Parenting four little monkeys (11, 8, 6, and 4) with the love of my life. Making it up as I go.
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#26 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 08:23 PM
 
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My DSD has always referred to me by my first name only. Now, we do call her each Bonus-mom and Bonus-daughter because we feel so strongly about one another, and it is more than step relationship at this point since I have known her since she was 2yo. kwim

Now, her mother wanted her to call me Miss Sheri when DH and I first started dating, but we never had that. We have always been too close to use any kind of formal term like that. DSD did try to call me "mom" on several occasions, but I gently reminded her that I am Sheri. I really did not want to disrespect her mother in that way at all. I would be very upset if the situation were reversed.

In fact, when her mother starting dating her current DH, she had DSD calling him Mr. "Dave". This created issues when they married because her mother felt it was okay to change his name at that point. She decided that DSD should now refer to him as Daddy "Dave". DSD did not choose this, but she did feel that Mr. was too formal a term and went along with it. DH was not pleased with this at all. It did not help that her mother also wanted to change DSD's last name from ours to her new DH's at the same time. It really felt like she was trying to erase DH from DSD's life in the "on paper" sense.

Anyway, DH had a clear conversation with her mother about how these things were very hurtful. He felt that her mother was clearly disrespecting his relationship with their DD by her actions. She defended them whole-heartedly until DH mentioned that DSD should then refer to me as Mommy Sheri if that is how she felt things should work. That seemed to drive his point home for her. She had DSD stop calling him Daddy "Dave". DSD was then able to come up with her own nickname for him that she felt was appropriate. It is pretty endearing, too. She calls him Fuzzy.

Mama to Ava (12/03) , Leila (4/06) , Violet (11/08) , and bonus mama to Madison (7/98)
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#27 of 66 Old 10-13-2008, 09:54 PM
 
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My stepsons call me Imma (Hebrew for mom). We had a discussion about what they would call me when dh and I got married. We talked about how I wasn't their mom, but we needed a special name for our special relationship.

I opened it up to what they thought, and got some crazy suggestions (they were 4 and 6 at the time). Wigwam stands out as dss2's favorite. So I suggested Imma (pronounced Eema) and it stuck. I love being their Imma, and I think they like having a name that is their own to call me that no one else uses. I'm no one else's Imma!
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#28 of 66 Old 10-15-2008, 10:42 AM
 
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DSS calls me by my first name, He will also call me "my first name" just like he would my mom and my dad. He seems to get concerned when people call me his mommy, We have talked about it and sometimes I will correct them and say I am his "my first name" or I am his stepmom. Sometimes he will correct them. He is 5. His mom tells him I am his stepmom which means I step in when his mom is not there, this works for him.

A funny story, whenever his little brother my DS asks where his brother is we will say he is at his mommy's house so now DS will say I am going to go to my mommy's house I will say who is your mommy he will say my mommy is (DSS's mom) and I will say who am I he will say "you mama" He is two and loves to do whatever his big brother does.

Baby Mama, Law Student, Milk Maker:
Mom-type to DSS 10/12/03, Mom to DS 10/05/06 and DD 11/03/08.
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#29 of 66 Old 10-16-2008, 11:41 AM
 
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Ods calls DH by his first name, his bio dad his not in the pic. I recently asked him if he thought he would ever call DH dad and he looked at me like I'd lost my mind. Ods does refer to him as "The Dad" to his brother. As in "The Dad is home". Everyone else seems to have adopted a similar title since yds was born: The mom, the brother, the baby...

Kelly - Children's Restraint Technician Instructor - Mom to my December boys
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#30 of 66 Old 10-16-2008, 11:52 AM
 
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Ods calls DH by his first name, his bio dad his not in the pic. I recently asked him if he thought he would ever call DH dad and he looked at me like I'd lost my mind. Ods does refer to him as "The Dad" to his brother. As in "The Dad is home". Everyone else seems to have adopted a similar title since yds was born: The mom, the brother, the baby...
That's funny. DSD refers to her mom and step-dad as "the parents" whenever she is talking about her house there, but she also calls us Dad and Sheri when talking to her mom. She cracks me up whenever I hear that, though.

Mama to Ava (12/03) , Leila (4/06) , Violet (11/08) , and bonus mama to Madison (7/98)
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