I'm not ready to tell - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 16 Old 06-04-2005, 05:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
Boobiemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Idaho!!!
Posts: 4,070
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Only my hubby, 1 IRL friend and hald the internet world knows I am pregnant! :LOL
I am not ready to tell anyone else IRL yet. I dont want to tell anyone else until I tell my kids and I want to wait a bit longer.

My SIL invited me to dinner tonight, and I know she is going to offer me a beer and I know she is going to be suspicious when I say no. How he heck am I going to hide this for another month or 2???? I really want to wait till 10-12 weeks before telling.

Who already knows about you guys? And if not, how do you hide it??
Boobiemama is offline  
#2 of 16 Old 06-04-2005, 05:55 PM
 
mama2gracie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 177
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i'm no help here. i told everyone i knew within like 2 days. : i just can't keep it a secret!! how DO you do it?? i'm impressed you've held out this long!! :LOL
mama2gracie is offline  
#3 of 16 Old 06-04-2005, 06:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
Boobiemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Idaho!!!
Posts: 4,070
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
LOL I dont know! Maybe because this is my 6th baby. I have 4 children, and one son who died when he was 3 weeks old. PLus I had a miscarriage a few years back. holy cow, thats alot of pregnancies! OMG, when did that happen??

I want to wait till I've been to the dr, and see a heartbeat.
Boobiemama is offline  
#4 of 16 Old 06-04-2005, 06:44 PM
 
mraven721's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,606
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was bad this time. Before I waited 13 weeks to tell anyone. This time I told the day we tested :
mraven721 is offline  
#5 of 16 Old 06-04-2005, 08:45 PM
 
My Three Boys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: MI
Posts: 483
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We've told everyone too. The last time I got pregnant we decided to wait to tell people. I miscarried. It was awful. I was miserable and didn't really want to explain to everyone that I was pregnant and then I'd miscarried. This time I decided to tell everyone that I would tell if I miscarried. Basically that's everyone!!! We're also Christian and I wanted to know that I'd have lots of prayers for this little baby!!
My Three Boys is offline  
#6 of 16 Old 06-04-2005, 09:26 PM
 
EllasMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,494
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am selectively telling people. I am telling only a couple of my mom friends and swearing them to secrecy, because one of our friends gave birth to a stillborn baby very recently. I don't want her to find out for a little while, as it might be too painful. She has enough to bear without feeling obligated to express joy at someone else's pregnancy.



My DH expressed concern at telling our DD. He wanted to wait until the threat of miscarriage passed. DD is 4 and knows what pregnant means, so that would have been sentencing me not to discuss it with anyone in her presence for several months. I told him I couldn't do that. He asked, "what will we tell her if you have a miscarriage?" My response was, "the truth."

Last time we waited a long time to tell most people. I didn't tell people at work till like 4 months in. A sweet guy (really, I swear he is sweet!) with whom I worked said, "thank goodness - I thought you were just getting fat!

Carol
EllasMama is offline  
#7 of 16 Old 06-04-2005, 11:18 PM
 
savannah smiles's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: hunting ghosts w/ Jason and Grant
Posts: 2,314
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Most of my online friends know as well as some of my neighbors but we haven't told any family yet. We didn't tell anyone last time we were pg and we ended up m/c and I found it easier to tell my mom/IL's that we had lost the baby as opposed to having them all stressed out with us when I started spotting. So we're going to go that route again.

Gazing furtively at you from under my siggie!
savannah smiles is offline  
#8 of 16 Old 06-05-2005, 01:36 PM
 
MAMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,472
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've told about 6 close friends - but no family at this point.

My SIL is expecting 2.5 months before us so I want her to be in the "pregnancy spotlight" for a while before we tell family. Plus, I am not looking forward to the grilling we're going to get about having a homebirth.

The hardest thing with this pregnancy I am finding is not being able to talk about it all the time with DH. Don't want DS to know this early (or repeat things he hears us saying to others) and DS is with us just about every waking hour (we co-sleep). So, we're trying to come with little code words to refer to the baby
MAMom is offline  
#9 of 16 Old 06-07-2005, 08:17 PM
 
Heavenly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 4,923
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I've told my mom and my sister. We won't be telling my children yet either. We are spelling a lot in front of them! LOL I will be telling them when I am around 8 weeks because I know I will start showing soon after that. I think they will probably figure it out though. We won't be telling my inlaws until we have too because they will be really upset. They don't want us to have any more children because we struggle financially sometimes. we are going down to visit them when I am 5 weeks pregnant and then when I am 9 weeks. I figure by the 9 weeks I'll have to tell them. I don't know how I am going to keep it a secret for 3 days feeling like I do though.

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
Heavenly is offline  
#10 of 16 Old 06-08-2005, 11:34 AM
 
aimcar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The Lone Star State
Posts: 490
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've told my mom, DH's mom, and several friends. We orginally weren't going to tell anyone for awhile because I've had 2 miscarriages within the last year, but I can't seem to keep my big mouth shut! : And really, for me, if something bad does happen it is comforting to have the love and support from friends and family during that time.
aimcar is offline  
#11 of 16 Old 06-08-2005, 02:12 PM
 
Sleepymama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: elsewhere
Posts: 1,432
Mentioned: 35 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 25 Post(s)
With ds and our m/c last summer, we told everyone right away. We regretted that when we lost the baby. Now only Dh, one RL friend, and my internet friends know. I'm not telling until at least 12 weeks (which is when I lost that baby). DH is having a hard time talking about it because he's so afraid we'll lose this one too. I told him I have a good feeling about this one though, and I always felt like something was not quite right with that pg.

I am waiting to tell my midwife (who has been waiting patiently for news since we started trying again) until I get my results back from my hcg & prog tests today.

Sleepy mom of two (DS-11, DD-8). 4 lost: 9/2004, 3/2005, 3/2013, 8/2014.
Sleepymama is offline  
#12 of 16 Old 06-09-2005, 12:37 AM
 
katja's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: city of chicago
Posts: 610
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've been telling everyone but my mother, who was pretty insensitive about my recent miscarriage, and has also been acting kind of weird about my mothering practices. I just don't want reproduction to be a topic with her anymore.
katja is offline  
#13 of 16 Old 06-09-2005, 09:08 AM
 
danav's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 700
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've already told just about everyone - I did that with my first two pregnancies, too. I just can't hold it in! I especially wouldn't have been able to look my DD in the eyes every day and not tell her - she's been asking for a baby sister/brother for months and months and is so fascinated with pregnancy and birth (she "gives birth" regularly to her dolls).
danav is offline  
#14 of 16 Old 06-09-2005, 12:31 PM
 
mama2gracie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 177
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by danav
she's been asking for a baby sister/brother for months and months and is so fascinated with pregnancy and birth (she "gives birth" regularly to her dolls).
how CUTE!! coming from a mama who is near-obsessed with pregnancy and birth, i think that is just adorable!! i am hoping gracie will try and nurse her baby dolls when she sees me nursing the new baby.
mama2gracie is offline  
#15 of 16 Old 06-09-2005, 02:44 PM
 
fiandaca's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Northern California
Posts: 101
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My partner and I haven't told anybody yet. We have our first prenatal appt next week and we'll tell some close family members after that if all goes well.

I was pregnant earlier this year and miscarried at 7 weeks real/9 weeks obstetric. We had told a lot of close friends and family, but there were people I just hadn't gotten around to telling, and I felt like I wanted them to know about the miscarriage. It was sad to tell people I miscarried without having been able to share with them the good news that I was pregnant.

I think we will tell more people this time around, but we're waiting a little longer to do so. I am having much stronger pregnancy symptoms this time and regardless of that, I feel MUCH more hopeful about this pregnancy than I ever did with the first one. So I'm not too worried about miscarrying again, but at the same time, I do want to make sure the ultrasound indicates that everything is okay before we tell people . . . I think some of them will be a little more wary this time and it'll be nice to give them good news.

I tend toward natural pregnancy stuff and didn't want an ultrasound last time. Perhaps if I'd had one, we'd have known much earlier that the pregnancy was already lost. I don't know. This time around, I do want that initial confirmation and then I hope to relax back into trusting myself and planning for a homebirth.

Like sombody else wrote, I, too, am wary of telling my mother about being pregnant (I never told her last time). She generally negatively judges everything I do and I don't imagine this will be any different. I dread telling her and have no idea how to do it.
fiandaca is offline  
#16 of 16 Old 06-09-2005, 03:12 PM
 
Sleepymama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: elsewhere
Posts: 1,432
Mentioned: 35 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 25 Post(s)
I told my DS last night--he's 2.5--because I wanted to talk to him about being more gentle with the nummies (yeah, good luck with that). He looked at my stomach, then looked back at me with this "you have got to be kidding me mom!" look. I think it's going to take a while to sink in :LOL He is fascinated by babies but the reality of having one here is going to be rough for him. He is very, very attached and in a super mommy phase right now, like he KNOWS something is going on. He'll be a little over 3, so I hope he will be better able to deal with it.

Sleepy mom of two (DS-11, DD-8). 4 lost: 9/2004, 3/2005, 3/2013, 8/2014.
Sleepymama is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off