Are we being rude? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 11-13-2005, 03:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Here's the deal....two friends of ours, who had a baby in July, were strongly considering the name "Noah" if they had a boy. My friend really liked it, but her dh was less in love. The 20-week ultrasound showed a girl, though, and they chose a girl name.

I heard the name "Noah" so much that I started liking it, and now for months it's been the top choice for our boy. Would it be rude to use it? Our friends live over an hour away, so even if someday they have a boy (and her dh goes for the name Noah), our kids wouldn't spend a lot of time together. Plus they're starting out with new careers, so it wouldn't be unheard of if they moved across country. On the other hand, we really like them, so we're hoping they stay in the area.

I've mentioned to my friend that we'll probaby use the name, and she says she's fine with it. I'm unconvinced, though, because she keeps suggesting other boy names. When we talked yesterday, I told her we haven't decided on a name yet (which is true), but I felt uncomfortable and didn't tell her the full extent of our love of "Noah."

Would you be upset if a friend of yours used a name you had been considering? I think I'd be annoyed if a family member used the same name (two cousins named the same seems weird), but in a group of friends it seems likely that some kids will have the same name. Especially common ones like Noah.

Am I handling this poorly?

RedOak ~ Momma to DS (8) , DS (4) , DD (3) , & DD 9/10 ~
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#2 of 11 Old 11-13-2005, 04:59 PM
 
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In MY opinion I think it would be fine to use the name. I had a boy name picked out three years ago when I found out I was having a girl. Since then I'm not that keen on the original boy name I picked out three years so if I have a boy this time around it's going to be given a different name anyhow. Your friends might not even like Noah the next time around.

If you like that name, I say go with it!
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#3 of 11 Old 11-13-2005, 05:09 PM
 
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I guess that it would depend how long they have liked the name Noah. For example, I know that if/when I have a girl I will name her Sky. This time, we know it's a boy, so we came up with another name, obviously. To me, Sky already exists in the universe, its' just when she makes it into our family is the only question. I would be pretty bummed if someone close to me used that name for one of their kids. If it were just an acquaintance, I wouldn't mind.

I think, go with your gut...it's never wrong. If you think that you will always wonder whether or not you did the right thing, it's not worth using Noah.

Hope that helps in some way...

Carrin Mama to Sawyer 4/06 and TTC #2 I am a WAHM!
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#4 of 11 Old 11-13-2005, 06:57 PM
 
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I would guess it depends on how well you know them, and how much you value them as friends. It isn't like they are imminently awaiting the birth of a boy, and Noah is a name that isn't unheard of. If it were your sister or another family member, I'd say definitely no, but I think you can still consider it under the circumstances. Unless you think it would ruin your friendship, and if that is most important to you, I wouldn't.

There was an episode of Seinfeld about this very topic.
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#5 of 11 Old 11-13-2005, 07:56 PM
 
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I don't think it depends on ANYTHING, if you love the name - your child should have it!! Same for them...and me, and my neighbors, and so on...

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#6 of 11 Old 11-13-2005, 09:37 PM
 
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I think it is fine for friends to give their kids the same names. I think it would not be reasonable for her to mind, especially since Noah is a common name, as you said.

Homeschooling mama to DD 3/28/06 reading.gif,  DS 2/27/10 coolshine.gif, Belle the Orange Dog 03/11, and DD babygirl.gif 10/03/2013.
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#7 of 11 Old 11-14-2005, 11:14 AM
 
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For all anyone knows, your friends may never end up having a boy & then, what a waste of an opportunity to use such a cool name that you & Dh LOVE!!
I say name him that if that's the name you feel passionately about, your friends will get over it - that is, if there's anything to get over.

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#8 of 11 Old 11-14-2005, 03:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, everyone, for your input! I thought about it more over the weekend, and this baby decidedly WANTS to be called Noah. No other name fits, and that's weird, because Noah wasn't a name I considered with my first two sons.

I think I'll talk it over with my friend, and hopefully over time she really will seem okay with it. Dh says "how do we even know they'll have a boy?".... I laughed and said "that's what they said on Mothering!"

RedOak ~ Momma to DS (8) , DS (4) , DD (3) , & DD 9/10 ~
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#9 of 11 Old 11-15-2005, 12:16 AM
 
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i love the name noah and agree you should go for it.
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#10 of 11 Old 11-15-2005, 01:14 AM
 
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I am so glad to hear you're sticking w/ Noah - great name!!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#11 of 11 Old 11-15-2005, 01:20 AM
 
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Noah i a hugely popular name right now. if not you then someone else. What difference does it make. Now if you named your dd Noah it would probably ruin it for them and that would be rude.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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