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#1 of 72 Old 01-28-2006, 06:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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...it still irritates me to no end! : I post on another board, and since I am due maybe-in-February-maybe-in-March I lurk on both due date boards there (and here). Well, of course the early-Febers are getting ot 38 weeks and they're all freaking out that they're NEVER going to go into labor on their own! Whatever will they do? I guess they'd better all be induced ASAP because they're only 1 cm dilated and 75% effaced at 38 weeks. Clearly, those babies are NEVER going to come out. Their bodies are all defective, plus we don't want the babies to get any bigger than 6.5 pounds lest they need a C-section.

Believe me, I am starting to be really ready to have this baby, and I'm only 36 weeks-ish. I understand feeling like you will be pregnant forever. I understand being uncomfortable. I understand fear of the unknown. I understand the excitement and the anticipation and the waiting and waiting and waiting...

but that doesn't mean I'm going to go and get induced! I THINK these things, but I KNOW that realistically I have probably at least another month, and quite possibly 6 weeks. Or more. I hate to be the one to always chime in and say, "yeah, but normal gestation is in the 38-42 week range, and some women go longer"...I don't want to seem heartless, or unsympathetic - hell, I'm pregnant too! - but COME ON! It's incredibly frustrating. Someone always asks the question "Why is everyone being induced?" and everyone immediately chimes in with "Oh, I have a medical reason"...and some do, I'm sure, since their doctors don't know about the connection between prenatal nutrition and toxemia, or whatever...but the fact that you're at 39 weeks 2 days and have not given birth yet is NOT a medical reason! Or the fact that "they" think your baby is over 8 pounds is NOT a medical reason!

Please no one come down on me because you were induced for a legit reason. I'm just venting here because I think some of you will understand, so I don't say something nasty over there and get everyone's panties all in a twist. I have managed to avoid doing so all this time, even though I am a real live BF and HB advocate (and a NICE one at that! And tactful! Who would have thought?) and I just need to let off some steam. I sincerely hope my mid-Feb. EDD is more accurate because otherwise I will certainly be the last freaking one left in March with no one to commiserate with since they've all gone off and been induced at 38 weeks.
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#2 of 72 Old 01-28-2006, 07:08 PM
 
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I can understand where you're coming from. My "medical" reason for induction at 40w 6d? My OB was getting married in 4 days and wanted his schedule "cleared'. Didn't take so he sent me home. They wanted to induce as early as 36 weeks on me to prevent a "big" baby. I tend to run into 41 weeks anyway, we just didn;'t know it then.

It seems like most people think that women are incapable of going into labor on their own. Everyone 'needs' an induction so why not just schedule it anyway? (Don't get mestarted on the "big baby" crap......)

Sorry you're dealing with that. I'm about 36 weeks myself, sometimes I wish I was one of the women who go naturally at 37-38 weeks b/c these last 4-6 ish weeks last F-O-R-E-V-E-R. Oh well, I don't know of any woman who has been pregnant forever.
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#3 of 72 Old 01-28-2006, 10:05 PM
 
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I totally know where you are coming from!

When the ladies on the other board start talking about when their c sections are scheduled for or when their going to be induced, it makes me wonder how many of them REALLY need these.

I don't want to be induced. I have had nightmares about this. I keep waking up with dreams that my water has broken and I have to go get induced....being a FTM, I'm probably just afraid I won't be ready.
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#4 of 72 Old 01-29-2006, 12:19 AM
 
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I give you a huge amount of credit for even being able to read the posts on a mainstream board. I am not that patient or understanding. When I read posts around here about mamas hoping for 6lb babies I really felt unrooted.

What gets me is that --yes, the last weeks of pg are uncomfortable and filled with anticipation, but it's really your last chance to go to a movie (if you can sit through it) or go out to dinner with your dp or just have a moment to take a long shower. I have absolutely no regrets about completely focusing on the babe for days and months and maybe 2 years, but the baby inside is easier than the baby outside.

and I could care less how dilated and effaced people are.
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#5 of 72 Old 01-29-2006, 12:31 AM
 
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This is a little off topic but your post reminded me of an episode of "The Baby Story" recently. The mom was hoping to VBAC and doc was all supportive until the end. She came to the hospital in early labor. Baby was fine, mom is contracting and dialating, but doc decides that baby is too high and will not come down, so off to surgery we go. WTF??? Of course he was sure to put this fear in her at her prenatal appointment a few days earlier, telling her that he didn't think it was going to workout because baby hadn't dropped yet. Don't most second baby not drop until labor starts anyway. So sad to me that this mom wasn't educated enough to advocate for herself and baby.
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#6 of 72 Old 01-29-2006, 12:40 AM
 
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Neither of my babies dropped until WELL into labor. My water didn't break with #2 until 30 minutes before he was born. SOB broke it w/#1 about 2 hours before he was born. I despise all the BS scare tactics they use.
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#7 of 72 Old 01-29-2006, 02:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks guys. This is the crux of it, I think: why not just let things happen, and see what happens? If c-sections are so quick and efficient, then why not just let things develop a little and THEN do a c-sec if it turns out that one is needed? Why all the preempting of nature? It's like your annoying MIL or whoever who just doesn't know when to SHUT UP! People being induced at 39 weeks because the baby's too big, or their blood pressure is too high...you know what, that baby's been in there for 39 weeks, and I bet the world wouldn't end if you just left them in there for another week or two and see how it goes. My goodness. Just leave it be!

Oh, and another thing. A trip into L&D isn't really necessary every time you get more than one BH in a row, or every time you have discharge, or every time you have a backache. Good grief. We're a month away from giving birth - our bodies are preparing, and we feel kind of crampy and weird! How about that? If you go into the hospital enough times, you're bound to start to think you belong there and just stay one of those nights...why obsess and make things even more tense for yourself the last weeks? Same concept: just WAIT and SEE what develops! If I called my doc every time I had contractions or discharge they would probably induce me early too, just so I'd stop bugging them! Of course, I don't have a doc, but YKWIM...

OK, I think I'm done venting for today. Not positive, but pretty sure. Thanks!
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#8 of 72 Old 01-29-2006, 02:53 AM
 
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You said it! No woman has been pregnant forever! I have a friend with MANY children and once said, "you start to appreciate the last few days/weeks of pregnancy because after that baby is born you'll get less sleep and become more busy!"

Don't worry, even if your water breaks you don't neccessarily HAVE to get induced. (I didn't for 8 days!)

You will give birth... the longer you hold on to that baby, the stronger he/she will become.

Best wishes!!
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#9 of 72 Old 01-29-2006, 05:29 AM
 
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I totally understand - it's so frustrating to sit back and watch. I really hate that moms expecting twins are being scheduled for induction at 36-37 weeks - why not keep them in their as long as they want? If they are healthy and thriving - it doesn't make sense to make them come earlier! On one list I post on, someone told me that I was scaring first time moms when I told them to question their docs and not accept what they say as law. She thinks women should trust their doctors implicitly - after all, they would NEVER do anything to us or our babies that would harm us. We should all be sheep I guess and bow down to the almighty doctor, because they know what's best for us poor, stupid women.
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#10 of 72 Old 01-29-2006, 12:08 PM
 
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I totally understand where you are coming from too! Both my other kids came at almost 42 weeks, I sometimes wished I would have them at 37 weeks but that was not in the cards and I still had healthy normal sized kids and fairly easy deliveries as well. I am gald my doctor does push inductions or anything. I know my baby will come in it's own time and when it is ready.

Jessie

Jessie (29) mom to Emma (2002), Anthony (2004), Elizabeth (2006) and Ava (2008) and someone new 2010
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#11 of 72 Old 01-29-2006, 01:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by CaliMomof5
I really hate that moms expecting twins are being scheduled for induction at 36-37 weeks - why not keep them in their as long as they want? If they are healthy and thriving - it doesn't make sense to make them come earlier!
Yeah, this is my last complaint and then for sure I am done! Sigh. Just because twins sometimes come earlier doesn't mean they have to! It's so weird.
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#12 of 72 Old 01-29-2006, 02:12 PM
 
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Scheduled induction for twins at 36 weeks? Wuh? When I was prego with the twins, my doctor didn't even MENTION induction! Admittedly, he got a little nervous when I was heading past 40 weeks, but the thought of taking babies out pre-term just because they're twins is SO ridiculous!!! :

Mrs. Dimples, I give you credit for hanging out on the "normal" boards...this pregnancy I've just stayed away from them. If it's not someone talking about induction as if it's as easy as a teeth cleaning, it's someone talking about breastfeeding like it's "gross"....or maternity leave that's "boring".... or babies that are "bad" because they cry too much....or babies that are 2 months old and won't sleep through the night... It makes my heart ache, both for the ignorance of the moms (just in some things...like the fact that being induced raises your risks of maternal death and c-section) and the misunderstood babies.

Best of luck keeping your sanity with the induction folks....if they knew more, they'd be singing a different tune (and staying home for the early stages of labor!! Totally agree with you on that one.... )

RedOak ~ Momma to DS (8) , DS (4) , DD (3) , & DD 9/10 ~
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#13 of 72 Old 01-29-2006, 02:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by RedOakMomma
Scheduled induction for twins at 36 weeks? Wuh?
They do this a lot at the hospital where I work. I don't know why but they treat twins as very high risk so they over-manage them.

I told my OB I didn't want to be induced....he said it was totally natural, the same exact thing your body was going to do anyway, he's just "helping" it! Which is just silly.
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#14 of 72 Old 01-29-2006, 04:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ahwuko
over-manage
That is just how I am starting to feel about my pregnancy!

This is my first pgncy and I didn't know what to expect...so they do an AFP and it comes back positive...they want to do an amnio which I refuse. So, they are making me do u/s's every 4 weeks...which I really don't mind seeing my baby, but it means I have to go to the Women's hospital over an hour away.

The dr was afraid that because I have PCOS I would get GD....well so far my sugars have been fine. They even did this big A1C test that tests my blood sugar over several month's time and I scored well within the NON-diabetic range. The u/s's are also supposed to be checking to see if the baby is growing to fast, because of the GD....She has been perfectly average on each and every u/s.

Then they decide that I need to do NST's twice a week. This requires a trip to the hospital and takes about 2 hours. ---I will admit....I've been bad...I didn't go Fri. The dr put me on bedrest...so, was I supposed to drive myself to the hospital for an NST? DH couldn't take me, because of work.

Then I get a little spotting this past week and now I'm on bedrest. Ok, tell me to rest more, but let me at least go to work! I sit at a desk all day. It isn't like I'm lifting or bending. My boss called me at least 10 times this week to get help while he and his wife try to do my job.

Anyway, I'm so afraid that he is going to decide at 37 weeks that he wants to induce. Part of me wants to just give up the medical treatments and give birth at home.
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#15 of 72 Old 01-29-2006, 09:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What a pain in the butt! If they look hard enough, sooner or later they're bound to catch SOMETHING one little time that looks worrisome, and then boom!

It's silly. I mean, you don't want to stick your head in the sand and ignore all possibility of problems, but it's like monitoring during labor: periodic checking with a fetoscope is accurate without finding problems that aren't there. Continuous monitoring isn't any more effective, but it often leads to sections for "problems" that do not, infact, exist. Since that works so well , I guess they have decided to apply that theory to our entire pregnancies. Sigh.

It's hard. I just hope everyone's babies are healthy, and I hope our moms are all happy with their births. I just make the decisions for my own family.
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#16 of 72 Old 01-29-2006, 09:53 PM
 
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My OB with #1 admitted that continual fetal monitoring had absolutely NO effect on cerebral palsy rates which is why it's used to begin with. The hospitals tell you this b/c if you're tied to a bed and unable to move they have less work to do and eventually you'll capitulate to their demands (I mean requests).

With #2 my MW checked his heartrate once and then left us alone. She did check me for dilation when I requested her to but only when I asked.

At least here we are all encouraged to look into our options and pick what will work best for *us* not some blanket policy that applies to everyone. I hope everyone has a healthy baby (or babies as the case may be )
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#17 of 72 Old 01-29-2006, 11:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ellie_may12
Anyway, I'm so afraid that he is going to decide at 37 weeks that he wants to induce. Part of me wants to just give up the medical treatments and give birth at home.
No one can make you get induced! Unless you agree that there's a medical need for induction, and as long as you're not heading in the range of being VERY "overdue," then I would argue strongly against induction. It's just my opinion, but instead of induction you could "bargain" with your OB and during those last weeks be sure to do what makes you (and the dr.) feel more comfortable...ultrasound for fluid levels, possibly non-stress tests, etc. Unless the baby is showing signs of stress (and make sure you know which ones are REAL signs of stress), then there's no need to induce.

It sounds like you are being overmanaged. Big-time. Next time you're pregnant, I would suggest looking for a different OB--they're not all like that. Also, if you can find a birth center or midwife you like in the area, it's not too late to switch.

Sorry they're doing this to you.

RedOak ~ Momma to DS (8) , DS (4) , DD (3) , & DD 9/10 ~
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#18 of 72 Old 01-30-2006, 01:40 AM
 
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edited

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#19 of 72 Old 01-30-2006, 03:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Cedarmom
The twin induction at 36 weeks I soooo don't get. You have a history of preterm labor so they are inducing you if you make it to 36 weeks???? Where's the logic there? 36 weeks is NOT full term, no matter what your wacked doctor tells you. : Sorry, had to get that one off my chest. Whew. I feel better.
Yeah, but she's a nurse, so there's no point in trying to say anything.

I'm having a hard time too, with our mom who's getting crap from her family about her elective repeat C. It is her decision - while I don't agree with it, I firmly believe it is her decision to make and I think her fmaily is horrible, and her husband is a huge jerk, for saying that it's not giving birth. I can't imagine what low self-esteem she must have to be in a situaiton like that. I am for empowering women, even if I don't agree with the choices they make. But she actually said that her doc told her that a VBAC was illegal! When we told her that was incorrect information, that her doc LIED to her, she said that was what she wanted to hear anyway, she wanted a C anyway, and she was glad he lied to her to she didn't have to make a decision, it was made for her.



That, I CANNOT respect. I want to tell her to stand up for herself, but I don't know how to do it in a way that doesn't involve me saying something completely against my beliefs, or insulting her. Sounds like she's gotten the support she was looking for, so I am just keeping my mouth shut. But I am sad.

I guess I feel lucky that I only had to do this once before I realized what I missed with my first birth. And I am glad I will have the opportunity to do it again, and to have it be so much more than "getting the baby out however it has to happen". I know sometimes that's how it works out, in spite of our best laid plans, but to sell yourself short from the beginning because you just don't know that you deserve more...I just wish there was a way to get people to realize they are powerful, and deserving of the best.
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#20 of 72 Old 01-30-2006, 03:18 PM
 
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Oh boy do I hear you, on everything, Rachel. I'm about to pull my hair out. (Expecially with the twin induction... I'm gonna have a heck of a time being supportive if those poor babies end up in the nicu)

I stick around on mainstream boards for one reason, if I get even one person to stop and think because of a post I've made or a decision I've posted about, then it's worth putting up with all the crap.... although I am NOT looking foward to the contant "we switched to formula" posts of the first few months.... I'm going to have a hard time with those. I looked at the March 2005 babies on those same boards, and they are almost all on formula Makes me want to cry.

Dawn, mama to D (3.06) & N (9.07) C (11.09) & Still-in-shock surprise due in Aug!
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#21 of 72 Old 01-30-2006, 05:44 PM
 
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OK, I had to stop reading. Mrs Dimples you are making me laugh so hard!!

I'm planning an unmedicated, non-induced, natural childbirth. It's amazing how even my MIL can look at me and tell me that I should get an epidural. All I think is "fine then, wait in the lobby, my mom will be there to support me." Then my husband's own family asks me if I think he'll be able to handle it. I find that so insulting. I've basically just kept my plans to myself with the exception of my husband and mom. They're my support team so anyone else's opinion is just obnoxious at this point. Unless,of course, they agree with me, then I'll listen.
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#22 of 72 Old 01-30-2006, 09:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Cedarmom
Oh, and Lori, I don't remember where I read it, but someone had their doctor schedule their induction after intense pressure to do so, and then just didn't show up. They can't induce you if you aren't there. I thought it was brillant.
Well....I have skipped my NSTs on Fri and today. DH said he thought it was ok. This is his daughter too, so I respect his opinions. If the dr says anything about it tomorrow at my appt, I'm just going to tell him that HE told me to stay home on bedrest.

One of the reasons I'm not committed to a home birth is that I can't get DH committed to it. The other reason....I don't want to have to clean up the mess after I give birth. Can't you just see me walking around scrubbing the house afterwards! DH doesn't clean.
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#23 of 72 Old 01-31-2006, 02:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by ellie_may12
One of the reasons I'm not committed to a home birth is that I can't get DH committed to it. The other reason....I don't want to have to clean up the mess after I give birth. Can't you just see me walking around scrubbing the house afterwards! DH doesn't clean.
Aw, HELL no! The midwives clean it up! I actually get this question quite a bit. I have no intention of cleaning up my own house afterwards! Of course, I am taking what precautions I can to prevent a mess, but if there is any mess made I will be too busy snuggling with my baby to notice.
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#24 of 72 Old 01-31-2006, 05:54 AM
 
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Oh I understand your frustration!

With my first, I posted on a mainstream board. I was due Feb 21st and was the only one still pregnant in March, even though lots of people were due after me. I went a whole extra week after that before my son was born. Some people appreciated my homebirth story but I think most were just glad that their babies were born sooner. I was astonished how many February babies came in January. The induction/csec rate was so disturbing. I posted on another board and had to stop because the other women were freaking out that I was 2 weeks late. I think that if they'd known where I lived, they would have called the cops or something--they really thought I was harming the baby not being induced. Argh. I was the only person who thought it was totally fine and normal to be 41 weeks pregnant (after that, I started getting grouchy).

This time, I'm sticking to this board and the mainstream Born in March 2004 board full of women who at least know me and respect my choice to homebirth and let things happen in their own time. I have a feeling this baby won't wait so long, but if he/she does, I'll be prepared for it. I'm more freaked out at the possibility of going into labor at 38 weeks (that's only 3 weeks away!) than 41.

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#25 of 72 Old 02-01-2006, 11:37 AM
 
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I agree, I am on my 5th pregnancy and while I understand wanting it to be over with I also know babies come when THEY are READY!!! I know it is tempting to go to your DR and complain about our ailments and hope he decides to LET us go early, but if that baby was ready, he would be coming anyhow. Nothing like plucking a green apple and calling it red. It does bother me when I hear people talking about hoping there baby doesnt go over 6-6.5, my last 3 were 6 pounds and I felt terrible! Like I had done something wrong! I am hoping and praying that this one is bigger, but it isnt looking that way, I know I might be one of those people who just do not have bigger babies, but that makes me wonder too, all my mothers babies were over 10 pounds including me, and all my sisters children where close to 8. My biggest baby was 7-12 and he was my first 12 years ago. I think alot of Drs also put the idea into mommys minds about being induced and alot of people still think that if the dr says it then it must be right. My dr told me 3 weeks ago that my us showed this little one only weighed 2 pounds, then Wednesday when I started asking how he figured that he asked me who had told me that, and when I let him know it was him, he looked at me like I was crazy because the us showed almost 5 pounds.... I understand the need to see "someone" while pregnant, but should be as a sidekick, not an all powerful figure who is not allowed to be questioned. When it boils down, it is my child, my body and my decissions, wether the dr wants you to know that or not... Ok, I am rambling, sorry must be hormones,lol
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#26 of 72 Old 02-01-2006, 11:50 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ellie_may12
That is just how I am starting to feel about my pregnancy!



Part of me wants to just give up the medical treatments and give birth at home.

I hear you there, but my husband caught on to what I was thinking about lol. Our last son was born with "symtoms" of down syndrome and had to be rescusitated(sp) when delivered and is scared so, he shot the idea of me waiting to long to get to hospital apart. He told me if I start pushing he starts driving lol.
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#27 of 72 Old 02-02-2006, 07:12 PM
 
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Just a little update on the twin mom on the "other" board we have been talking about. She's going in Friday morning (36 weeks)to have her water broken - she's 2cm and 80% effaced as it is - wonder why they don't just wait??!! I hope there isn't a cord prolapse as a result of the AROM!
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#28 of 72 Old 02-02-2006, 08:00 PM
 
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I had an appointment with my regular OB. I currently see a Perinatologist also. At both places, every time I go they say "well, we may want to induce you." Every time I tell them, "I don't want to be induced".

Now, if they really felt something was wrong with my baby or my uterus or my placenta, that would be one thing. But, they don't. They problems I had to start going to the Perinatologist for aren't even problems anymore, we're just monitoring by US to be sure. (There are two bright spots in her abdomen that haven't changed in over 12 weeks AND she's developing totally normal otherwise.)

They want to check out my daughter at birth to ensure her bowels are fine so I'm sticking with the Perinatology group, but really, this constant flow of induction talk is odd. Besides telling them no, what can you do to make them listen?
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#29 of 72 Old 02-02-2006, 09:06 PM
 
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Chiming in here = my friend who is much more mainstream but still wanted to try natural birth, got her prenatal care with a group of midwives that work through our local hospital. Her due date was January 31st. She had a scheduled appointment with midwife yesterday and they stripped her membranes. Baby 12 hours "overdue"??? She did go into labor, went to the hospital this morning at 2, ended up with an epidural and has had a c-section by now. My gut feeling is, the baby wasn't ready, and the stripping induced her basically and yeah, she stalled at 8 cm, pitocin and all interventions came cranking in, "baby isn't descending" and "baby is too big" etc. all the usual excuses. It makes me sick.

I know the desired outcome is a healthy baby but why the need to strip membranes on "due date" which is only a day on the calendar, honestly - she had been having very mild and infrequent BH but no other signs of impending labor.

I ain't having no membranes stripped. 35 weeks and holding. Trying not to judge, or despair.
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#30 of 72 Old 02-02-2006, 10:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by corhorvath
Besides telling them no, what can you do to make them listen?
You can cite EMTALA law. And for more good information, check out Birth Policy.org.

Good luck! Scares the out of me, the scare tactics and outright misinformation that gets used in hospitals. My last doula client was told by the anesthesiologist that epidurals have no effect whatsoever on the baby, and that Pitocin "doesn't really make your contractions harder/more intense, just brings them on faster".

Good luck to ALL us mamas on our births!
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