Ughhh!!! My mom - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 08-08-2005, 12:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, this may just be a bit of a rant, but here goes.

First off let me say I love my mom. We *usually* get along great. she is an amazing nana to dd1. she almost never gives me parenting advice. but...

Yesterday I told her I was pg at dd's birthday party. I wanted her to know because dh and I were so excited. I even told her we were going to start trying about a month ago. SO when her response was the type that I would expect if I were going to tell her we were selling all of our worldly posessions and going to live on the street I was a little taken a back.

She looked lik I had punched her in the stomach! Finally she managed a "S!$# Jess" I said "Wow, you just don't take this kind of news well at all do you." I gave her a minute to try & choke out a nice word or two and the I said, well there's some wine in the fridge...I haveto go.

God! What was that about. I'm married, we have a house, we don't ask them for money, I'm an adult in a loving comitted relationship. We wanted a bigger family!

Later she said It wasn't about me, it was her. Finding out made her feel old... I don't buy it.

Ughhh! Mother's! wait, I'm one of those...
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#2 of 8 Old 08-08-2005, 01:16 PM
 
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(((Jesi))) I didnt get the reaction I thought I would either from my parents, but they didnt react that bad. We are super excited to have you here and know you are going to be a wonderful mom to your blessings !!!!!!
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#3 of 8 Old 08-08-2005, 01:19 PM
 
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My mom didn't respond the way I thought she would either. She said 'Yay!' in a really fake voice and then hasn't mentioned it again (and I've talked to her a few times!). It really sucks when you think they are going to be so excited and then they give you such odd responses. I kinda wonder with my mom if it is because she loves our dd so much (she adores her) that she is having a hard time imagining another. I've heard from friends that this sometimes happens after the first one...just wasn't expecting it from MY mom!

~Rebecca~
mama to a sweet girl , & 4 silly boys

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#4 of 8 Old 08-08-2005, 01:25 PM
 
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s its so hard when close freinds or famiy are not as excited as you are, we are all really really excited for you
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#5 of 8 Old 08-08-2005, 01:57 PM
 
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Rebecca - my mom didn't seem excited at all when we told her we were having our 2nd dd (that's not this pregnancy). After we had her I thought she seemed to keep her distance from my new dd. It hurt me a lot and I was almost to the point where I was going to tell her that she couldn't be involved in my dd's lives AT ALL b/c no way would I allow one of them to grow up feeling not loved, when overnight she changed. I still suspect my sister said something to her cuz literally, I mentioned my feelings to my sister and the very next day my mom was ALL ABOUT my younger dd. She's been good with her ever since and I feel that the feelings are now genuine (although I don't think they started that way). I think there could definitley be some protective thing going on with your mom towards your first dd - that's totally what my mom seemed like to me.

We haven't told our families yet and don't plan to until this pregnancy looks a bit more sticky (like 12+ weeks). We live about 5 minutes from my parents so if I start showing early or something it might have to come up sooner, but the reason we're waiting is b/c I don't anticipate a real heart-warming reaction - especially from my parents - since this will be our 3rd child. Dh & I both come from the very traditional family of 4 so I feel like we're breaking some rules in a sense. Screw 'em! It's tough when you don't get the support you deserve from the people who love you. Sadly, I'm used to that from my family though.

Mama to four remarkable kiddos, all born at home.
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#6 of 8 Old 08-08-2005, 04:09 PM
 
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Neither of my parents responded very positively to the announcement of our pregnancy either.
While DH and I are still quite upset and hurt by their reactions - we're finding comfort and peace by surrounding ourselves with those friends who already know and are overjoyed and excited by the news.

I hope that you will be able to do the same. Find those people who are overjoyed for you and want to CELEBRATE the miracle of a new life!
Hopefully your mom's negativity will fade away soon!

Until then, many positive vibes and coming your way.
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#7 of 8 Old 08-08-2005, 07:18 PM
 
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I know how you feel. I got NO REACTION from my mom either - until she finally choked out "well, I guess congratulations are in order if this is what you *really* want."

This is our third too - and I think I'm the same as love_homebirthing - my mom just thinks that all families should have 2 adults and 2 children - and now we are not.

I hope your mom comes around after she has some time to digest the news.
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#8 of 8 Old 08-08-2005, 08:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the warm words. I'm sure she'll come around. For know have lots of people who are happy with me irl & here!!
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