Size and Early Arrivals? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 12-14-2005, 01:37 AM - Thread Starter
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Please pardon this is if it's a really dumb question but it's kind of freaking me out

This is my first pregnancy and I'm a small person normally (5'2" and short waisted) but my belly is HUGE. The m/w said last visit that I'm measuring normal -- it just looks big because I'm a small person? That said, I'm not sure I believe her entirely haha. I coud feel this weekend -- I grew! I put on my new jammy bottoms which fit FINE and a few hours later they were too small. I had to take them off. It was freaky! In a few hours my belly grew! The girls at work all commented on Monday too.

But on paper it all seems normal, I think. I've gained 16 lbs so far. Start week 24 Thursday. There's definitely only one baby in there (unless a second one's hiding behind the first one every u/s, including the level 2 one, which I doubt, yes?). I know precisely my due date is 4/12 as I ov'd on July 19. That's without a doubt. But I look and FEEL huge! can't bend over, can't see my privates, etc. The girl near my work who is 30+ weeks has a smaller belly than me.

So here's my question -- I can't tell you how many women have commented to me that I "won't make it til April" -- does size dictate that? Any influence at all on when you go into labor? Or should I just plan on being unbelievably enormous by then? I'm sorry if this is a really dumb question, but I honestly don't think I'll make it til April either at this rate and now I'm paranoid what if I'm somehow subconsciously talking myself into early labor and that'd be bad for the baby -- can you do that? YIKES.

Someone even said something to me about small people don't go overdue as often -- wth does that mean? Is it true? My regular m/w has been on maternity leave else I'd call her -- I get to see her in January though but I feel really silly calling and asking the interim m/w these questions so I thought I'd ask y'all since so many of you have experienced being pregnant more than once.

Am I being paranoid? I've even had dreams she came early -- not preemie sick or anything, but just early. Like by a few weeks? Oh dear. Am I being an idiot? Or does size really matter?

SAHM to Guinevere (04/05/06) and Eowyn (02/13/09)
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#2 of 18 Old 12-14-2005, 01:46 AM
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I think you're experiencing normal pregnancy induced paranoia. In my experience getting huge didn't make the baby come out any faster (both of mine so far have been born past their EDD and I was always told many weeks prior how I'd never make it through that particular weekend, etc.). If it makes you feel any better, I'm 5'3 1/2" (not sure if I'm short waisted or not though) and I'm enormous! I'm a fairly petite person and here I am, wobbling around with this gigantic belly sticking out. Just today I was at a park playdate with some people I was only just meeting for the first time and the woman next to me said, and I quote: "When are you due? Soon I hope!" When I said mid-April she said, "You're HUGE! No offense, but you're really big!".

I think I might have the same EDD as you although I'm choosing not to know it. If not I'm probably only a day or 2 away. So maybe you can take some comfort in knowing that you aren't alone (I am, however, measuring large for dates). I worry about the preemie thing too, but I've noticed that pregnant women (and mothers for that matter) can't help but find something to obsessively worry over. I'm sure you're just fine!

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#3 of 18 Old 12-14-2005, 02:09 AM
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*visiting from July DDC*

My belly was a LOT smaller then a lot of other people due around the same time as me...and I went two days early and almost all of the others went at least one day overdue. Also I had a huge baby (9lbs 10oz) and they had small ones! (just thought that was funny) mine also looked bigger than it was as i have a tiny torso.

Jami (25) Roland (27) & Caleb (5), Jacob (3.5) , Kaitlyn (2)
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#4 of 18 Old 12-14-2005, 11:14 AM
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I am a small mama (5'1", 102 lbs at the start of my 1st pg)....but I also feel enormous. My OB assures me that I am not gaining too much and I am measuring (uterus wise) on track.

But this is how I gain weight while pg--all in the belly. It doesn't go anywhere else. My husband always remarks that I don't look pg from the back (last time too--even at the bitter end). I personally think that taller people usually look smaller when pg, whereas shorter ones always seem enormous by 7 months.

And sorry to tell you that with dd I was late, late, late. I got to pick my own EDD from two possibilities (a week apart); I chose the later one to stave off induction although the earlier one was probably more correct. So I was between 6 and 13 days late.

And for all that people will tell you about when you'll deliver...probably wrong too. I didn't have people tell me I'd be early, but I did have plenty of people say, "Oh you're so tiny, your baby will probably only be 6 1/2 (or 7) lbs." hahahahaha (8lb11oz)

It's kind of freaky how much you expand. And sometimes it seems to happen overnight. I remember very clearly that when I got 35 weeks with dd I could NOT imagine getting any bigger. I felt so huge. But I did! And then at the very very end I started losing weight (just 2 lbs)....

This is all anecdotal evidence to try to convince you that your m/w is the best person to listen to in this case.
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#5 of 18 Old 12-14-2005, 11:19 AM
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It's all in how you carry the baby. Unfortunately, how big momma looks has nothing to do with how ready baby is to come out, or the second time around would be an eight month proposition instead of nine (not that many people would complain about that!) It's more that people can't fathom your body being able to expand that much, YKWIM?
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#6 of 18 Old 12-14-2005, 12:23 PM
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I'm 24+ weeks and have gained over 20 pounds already. I started out at 108 and I'm 5'5 1/2". I get comments all the time about how I won't make it to April because of my size and the fact that my belly is so low. It make me so paranoid. But this is my 4th pregnancy and I have gone early by two days with the first two and late by a week with the last. So I think that everyone who comments is being insensitive and I don't really take their opinion on when I will have this baby to heart. Sorry if that is rude. My midwife doesn't seem concerned with my weight or that I might go early.
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#7 of 18 Old 12-14-2005, 12:24 PM
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I am 5' on a good day...

I tend to "show" early and "measure ahead" during pregnancy because that's just how I am put together. Now that I am on PG #6 things expand that much faster. For the longest time my sister who is three weeks ahead of me (with her first PG) was showing LESS than I am. My friend who is three weeks behind me, tall, slender, and has a tipped uterus is barely even showing at all. I am 23 weeks, so that means she is 20 weeks. Even when she was IN LABOR with her other two children, the nurses kept saying "oh this is going to be a little baby" until she was ready to slap someone. (Her children were both normal weight/size, full term)

As far as not going "over" my last two pregnancies I went to 41 weeks exactly. My other children were:
#1 induced at 39 weeks, STUPID evil OB.
#2 Natural labor at 39 weeks, 4 days
#3 Natural labor at 40 weeks, 2 days

So, it really doesn't matter what size you are in relation to how long you will carry. It sounds like you are dealing with normal pregnancy anxiety, and you are surrounded by the usual cohort of people who think they know something about pregnancy, but would be much better off just keeping their trap shut. Try to let it roll off your back, and tune in to what YOUR body is telling you. After all, nobody else lives in your body except you (and your baby right now of course LOL!)

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#8 of 18 Old 12-14-2005, 12:36 PM
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Wow. What do you say to people when they comment on this? I'm still at a loss of what to say to most people when they make comments that make me self-conscious, without sounding bitchy.

I'm sure people don't mean to put you on edge. Everyone kind of can't help but react from their own level of experience. So if they haven't had to deal with carrying around a huge belly they aren't going to be able to relate. But still... I wish sometimes there was a way to make them understand.
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#9 of 18 Old 12-14-2005, 01:22 PM
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How the baby is lying makes a huge difference too. I looked really small with Abby while she was vertex. When she flipped transverse and all of her was out of the pelvis I looked way bigger. And she was only 4 lb 15 oz.

Tamara: hs'ing Christian mom of five here and five in Heaven. Joyfully awaiting Punkin, coming mid-Sept!
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#10 of 18 Old 12-14-2005, 03:47 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks so much for the reassurance! The first person to comment on my size was my boss who's horrid, and honestly the first few times those comments were made, they aggravated me -- what I heard was "Wow! Don't you look fat!"

But now that I actually FEEL huge too the comments are starting to get to me -- I was starting to believe them. And then yesterday a very sweet friend made the comment -- not in a snide knowitall kind of way but in a secretive sort of "Psst! I don't think you'll last til April either! Eep!" kind of way. It didn't upset me but it did surprise me -- if she thinks it too....maybe it's true?

I's pretty obvious how huge I am and everyone's shocked so that I'm to the point where I started saying I didn't know if I'd make it al the way to April or not either.

And then that started the whole omg am I talking myself into premature labor blahblah paranoia.

I think from here on out when people comment on my due date, I'll just go back to telling people I'm shortwaisted and that's why I seem so big.

But it's funny, you know - this is my first pg but I was already having to buy new pants at 6 weeks. I started showing that early.

Thanks again for the reassurance, all. It's good to know that the comments are unfounded. I feel much better!

ETA: I get pokes on the far right and far left simultaneously so I think the baby's lying sideways? The midwife did say I was wider than longer, even though externally I look more vertically pg than horizontally. Does that make sense?

SAHM to Guinevere (04/05/06) and Eowyn (02/13/09)
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#11 of 18 Old 12-14-2005, 03:48 PM
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This is my 4th time, and I can assure you that tummy size is NO indication of going early into labour.

Some people, like me included, just carry outward. With my 1st baby at 38 weeks, I measured 43cm! And I am average weight/height.
My babies are on the big side though. With my second babe, at six months preg, people were asking me if I was overdue! He was just a big baby with a 3lbs placenta!

Everybody just carries differently.
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#12 of 18 Old 12-16-2005, 12:22 AM
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Well, BeanBean was due on 25 November. I was *huge* with him, started showing very early, and because I lost 45 pounds thanks to hyperemesis, I looked even bigger in the belly (and boobs! )to people who knew me (because they could contrast with my rapidly shrinking everything else). Everyone said that I'd go early, and that the baby would be huge. My mother said the 9th, and she was closest: he was born on the 8th. Nobody was right about the weight, they were all sure that he'd be well over 8 pounds (average guess was 8 lbs 14 oz-- i made a chart, I'm a geek) and he was only 7 lbs 8 oz.

It's all in the way that you carry. I'm short, so they tend to stick out in front of me but BeanBean grew with his head down and his butt straight out. BooBah rested closer to my spine, so I always looked smaller with her until she turned breech-- then her head stuck out and I was sure she would be big (not so, 6 lbs 13 oz).

This one feels smaller to me, and I don't think that it's the way I'm carrying... I think that this will not be my moose baby that I've been hoping for, but a rather petite person. We'll see!

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#13 of 18 Old 12-16-2005, 03:54 AM
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i have friends who are really tall and a month ahead of me and you cant even tell they are preggo while i am like you small and as huge as a house!! everyone comments because i seem to grow overnight.......EVERY NIGHT. But like you my midwife says all is on track. us little mamas just have no where to go but out. And no this has nothing to do with when your baby will actually come out of you. all it means is you will have to hear stupid comments for longer then your big, tall friends who dont show as soon as us smaller women.

Angela: Catholic Homeschooling Mom to Sierra(11/00), twins Addison & Kendall(3/03), Jack(4/06), Brielle (7/08), Levi (2/2011); due with#7 (9/13). Birthed every witch C section. VbAC. Unassisted water birth (hypno/painless). Assisted waterbirth to an almost 10lber! (Not painless!)
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#14 of 18 Old 12-16-2005, 11:32 AM
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Size doesn't matter... neither does weight gain!

I went into labour just before 37 weeks. I had AROM at 37 weeks exactly. My DD was born at 6#6 a few hours later. Not that small and if she had gone further, she could have been 8 or 9#. I had gained about 70# over the pregnancy but you really couldn't tell because I'm really tall.

I think people just need to make comments, helpful or not unfortunately. I would suggest just not listening to the unhelpful ones and try to let go of your fears about delivering early. You baby will be born when she wants to be! Big or small, "early" or "late".

Have you looked into HypnoBirthing at all? There is a great exercise you can do called "releasing you fears". You write down all your fears about pregnancy, brith and you baby and mediate about writing it down and letting the papers float away. It helped my DH and I immensely. We plan to do it again closer to the birth.

Pregnancy can bring on all kinds of paranoia!

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#15 of 18 Old 12-16-2005, 05:29 PM
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When I was pregnant with my dd I gained about 30lbs (I was overweight to start with so this was a little more than my OB recommended, but she said that it was because I was having a big baby) and carried kinda funky. I think she must have stuck her butt or her knees straight out most of the time because it literally looked like I had a pointy belly I was sticking out so far and carrying so low that everyone was convinced I'd have her early and she'd be at least 8lbs probably closer to 9lbs. She was born at 41 weeks (induced for stupid 'medical' reasons ) and only weighed 7lbs 2.5oz and was 19" long. She was definitely very overdue (extremely cracked skin, long nails, very low amniotic fluid level) and we knew fairly well my dates were right on because of when I had a + hpt and an early dating u/s. She is still a tiny girl and only in the 5-10% for weight and 35% for height. I was so sure that I was having this huge baby and bought mostly 3-6m clothes, but she wore preemie clothes for a month! Her discharge weight from the hospital was 6lb 13oz and believe me I ended up having alot more weight to lose than I planned (strangely it was all in my belly ).

If the baby is measuring normally then don't worry about it...seriously, I think people can't think of anything good to say to pregnant women so they just spit out whatever nonsense comes into their heads. I've had 2 people ask me today when I'm due and then SWEAR I must be having twins cause I look so HUGE....umm...gee thanks??? I haven't gained any weight whatsoever, I've had to buy smaller maternity clothes than with Anna (even though I weigh the same) but everyone keeps saying how big and round my belly is getting.

mama to a sweet girl , & 4 silly boys

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#16 of 18 Old 12-16-2005, 06:07 PM
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I carried huge and far out front with DS#1 and he was 1 week early. I carried low and small with DS #2 (I was 6 months before you could see the bump and I'm 5' 3.5") and he was also 1 week early...size is not an indicator! They were within ounces of each other in weight at birth.
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#17 of 18 Old 12-16-2005, 09:51 PM
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Originally Posted by celestialdrmrmama
...seriously, I think people can't think of anything good to say to pregnant women so they just spit out whatever nonsense comes into their heads.
What is *up* with people and their inane need to comment on your pregnancy, your body, the absolute certain gender of your gender-unknown child, etc?!?! I swear I'd like to go hibernate somewhere until April. Grrrr! :

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#18 of 18 Old 12-16-2005, 11:50 PM
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Most everyone has answered your questions pretty well I think! I might have missed this as I didn't read word for word all the posts. But, I wanted to add that it is VERY normal to swell...or hold some water...throughout the day. It is very normal to put on an outfit and go to work and by the time you leave work it's so tight you feel sufficated. That can happen even when you aren't pg. (What you eat can have a lot to do with it too.) That's why "they" say the most accurate weight is first thing in the morning as soon as you get out bed. You take in fluids and food all day long and some pass through, while some sticks around awhile.

I have had days where I felt so big I thought I was gonna burst by the time I layed down for bed. While other days, I feel small. Some days an outfit will fit, and another I feel like I can't move in it.

So, it's totally normal for your weight to fluctuate a bit from one hour to the next.

I'm tall and thin (5'7" and 125-130 non pg). With dd some people said I looked really small, while others said I looked huge. MIL told me for months I would go early because I'd been experiencing BH since 12 weeks. Well...I had a c/s at 40 weeks 2 days and I was not in labor at all. (dd was breech) Also, I gained a total of 50 pounds with her.


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