Hormone induced hysteria - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 12-17-2005, 06:14 PM - Thread Starter
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Let me start my saying I am usually a very calm person, I don't yell, cuss, throw things etc... But last night I completely lost it with Dh. Luckily for him we were on the phone, or I might have become abusive . We are planning a HBAC so I have been reading everything I can find about how to make it safe and as comfortable as possible for us (mainly me). A couple weeks ago I told him I wanted a doula, we talked to the midwife she thought it was an excellent idea and recommended someone, dh immediately shot it down saying we couldn't afford it (with out even knowing how much it would cost). I contacted the doula, she said she would work with us on a payment plan, and we could take a year to pay her if we needed, paying a little each month. There is no reason we can't do that, especially if it prevents another Csect. Last night I brought up the fishy pool for a water birth and he once again shot that down. Nothing to base his info on just "nope we are not having pool in our house, too hard to fill , too hard to drain..." I said why don't you read some of the stuff I read and then make a decision, it really isn't that big of a deal and once again if the hassle of a $30 inflatable pool helps me birth at home what is the harm. "Okay I will read it but I am telling you, we are not having a pool in the house!"

This is when I lost it , I just started screaming at him about how I was trying so hard to make this a good experience for us and educating myself about all the risks and everytime I bring something up he shoots it down without even looking into it. How I thought he was supportive of the homebirth (it was his idea to begin with), and I couldn't fight him about it along with everyone else that thinks I am nuts and maybe we should just go to the f%^$&ing hospital and get an F&*^ing csect. again. I think I went on for 2-3 min. screaming a sobbing. He was completely silent : I wish I could have seen the look on his face. He apologized over and over and promised to look into things before he made anymore snap judgement or snide remarks about my ideas. and then suggested I go take a long bath and he would call me back later. He did and everything was fine, he agreed that we would do what we had to have a birth pool, even if he had to put in a new tub ( I told him a $30 fishy pool would work fine) and that we could have the doula. So all is better now and I am glad I got that off my chest. Even better, I talk to my mom this morning and she said she would help pay for the doula, because it would make her feel better to have someone else there who knew what was going on. i hope for my husband's sake I don't have anymore of those crazy pregnant lady moments.
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#2 of 5 Old 12-17-2005, 09:03 PM
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yep had on today when DH didnt want to take all the kids to get our christmas tree. in my head we were all going to load up and go get it together, but he didnt think the tree would fit with out all but one kid seat out so he was just going to take our oldest with him. i was crying and carring on and he went to go put all the carseats back in when i yelled at him to, "just go i dont even want to go anywhere with you now". gosh i was silly. still havent appoligized. he was completely right too. it took up the whole back of the van! maybe if i had gone though he wouldnt have spent $65 on a dang tree that will die in a couple of weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We grew up in Oregon surrounded by trees so it was never a big deal to get the most beautiful perfect tree for near nothing. thats a problem when you live in Arizona but my husband just doesnt think its christmas without that perfect tree. it is beautiful and i am going to go relax in the living room and enjoy it now that i have settled down.

Angela: Catholic Homeschooling Mom to Sierra(11/00), twins Addison & Kendall(3/03), Jack(4/06), Brielle (7/08), Levi (2/2011); due with#7 (9/13). Birthed every witch way.....hospital. C section. VbAC. Unassisted water birth (hypno/painless). Assisted waterbirth to an almost 10lber! (Not painless!)
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#3 of 5 Old 12-20-2005, 10:33 AM
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Had my episode last night....

Today is my birthday and I spoke with DH on the way home from work last evening about what I wanted to do for it - which is actually nothing. Work has been quite stressful lately not to mention the stress from the holidays and traveling, so I'm actually looking forward to a night of going home and doing absolutely nothing. DH can take over dinner duties and then we can snuggle on the couch and watch t.v. all night.

Not 5 minutes after we got home, though, DH spoke with some friends on the phone and invited them over for dinner! When he told me this - I just lost it and became a total emotional wreck! I was completely upset that he disregarded my wishes (not that I don't want to see these friends and their children - but did it have to be tonight? Entertaining and cooking isn't exactly the do nothing b-day night I was looking for!) Anyway - it became a big argument but DH did call them back to say that we would have to scratch the plans and reschedule....
The whole episode left me completely drained, though, and I'm actually still feeling emotional and a bit guilty about the whole thing this morning (though I really don't think I should - it is my day, I should be allowed to be a little selfish...).

Hoping I can calm down through the day, though, and still have that chill at home night with DH after all.
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#4 of 5 Old 12-20-2005, 11:05 AM
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Happy Birthday!

We won't ask you to do anything.
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#5 of 5 Old 12-20-2005, 06:02 PM
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Yeah.... I've had a few. Once when the painters decided they were done, and the house would remain unpainted, but patched up (we've had a lot of work done this summer) until SPRING, Like, right when the baby is born. thank you very much. :

Once, I dont remember..... but I'm sure DH does.

One thing that has realllllly helped me is cod liver oil! my mw suggested it when I was blue a lot at the beginning, and it really does help.... said episodes invariably took place on days when I'd skipped the oil and yoga for two or more days........
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