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#1 of 20 Old 03-29-2006, 07:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Deleted because this is ridiculous and while I very much appreciate the helpful feedback from my due date club mamas, I don't appreciate the thread being hijacked and turned into something unpleasant that could have been avoided entirely.

Thank you Mandy, Kerri and Becca for your input. It was very helpful!

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#2 of 20 Old 03-29-2006, 08:11 PM
 
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I didn't get past the first days 1-4 part.

It's impossible to try to schedule how often the baby's gonna wanna nurse. Do Not Watch A Clock! Cover them if you have to and pay attention to your baby's signals.

And I think the idea that a newborn is gonna sleep a 4 hour stretch within the first 3 months is setting yourself up for more frustration. My DD didn't sleep that long until she was 18 months old.

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#3 of 20 Old 03-29-2006, 08:28 PM
 
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I also did not get past the 1-4 days thing! LOL Each babe is SO different! See, Mandy's didn't sleep 4 hours, where my DD slept 6 hours every night from the first night! (Actually, her first night home from the hospital she slept for 8 hours straight!! ) It will just depend on the baby... (I personally expect THIS little one to keep me up at all hours, just because my DD WAS so good about sleeping!! : )

But I do agree with Mandy as well on the no schedules... Some babies eat more so you will need to nurse more. Some go longer without nursing... And also, there will betimes when your baby may nurse and then be wanting to eat again 2 hours later, but then not nurse again for 3-4 hours... Just go by your baby's cues! (You will learn these quickly enough!)

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#4 of 20 Old 03-29-2006, 09:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nighten

DAY 5 - END OF WEEK 2
- Continue nursing 8+ times/day
- Expect her to begin gaining 1oz per day (this continues through month 3 or 4)
- By 2 weeks should have regained original birth weight
- BMs should change from meconium to yellowy
- Expect @ least 1 BM per day- 8+ wet diapers per day
- At 2 weeks okay to introduce pacifier and swing- Growth spurt @ week 2

WEEKS 3 - 4
- Continue feedings as above
- Okay to introduce bottle by week 3
I agree that you really shouldn't go by how many times per day, or nurse per X amount of hours. You will definitely figure out your babies hunger cues and know when she wants mama milk! I went through a really hard time getting DD to nurse (she ended up getting pumped milk and being more on a schedule for the first few weeks because of that) and when I realized that if I just forgot about how many hours it had been and just worked with what she wanted we did MUCH better. I think the best way to tell if nursing is going well in the beginning is to feel like you nurse ALL the time and have no clue how often you are feeding or how long it lasts because you are doing an 'on demand' schedule

The things I highlighted in red I'm not so sure on. Like the "at least 1 BM" made me cause for MOST babies its more like EVERY diaper. I remember dd frequently needed to be changed before a feeding and then would poop while she was eating and need to be changed after too The pacifier and bottles I think should wait until closer to 4 weeks for most babies. IMO I think a pacifier is not a great idea at all in the beginning because when they need to suck it helps build a good supply. Bottles I do understand are necessary for some women who are returning to work, but if you are not I wouldn't push it until a bit later until you feel that nursing is WELL established. The swing...feel free to use that when you need it though! It is very nice for even very attached parents to have somewhere to set baby to have a moment to pee, warm some food, etc. My dd was either held or in the sling most of her early weeks but we did find the swing was invaluable when we were just completely burnt out. Remember that all the info from the book is for the 'average' baby and you may find your dd doesn't do all those things at those times. Heck, my dd nursed practically every 1-1.5 hrs for her first 3 months! Then she nursed about every 2 hrs (never longer than 3) until she was eating some solids at 9-10 months.

~Rebecca~
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#5 of 20 Old 03-29-2006, 10:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Deleted.

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#6 of 20 Old 03-29-2006, 10:23 PM
 
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Not in your group, but HAD to respond- step one- throw out your schedules and charts. Really. They are just asking for trouble.

Next- I would not have bottles or pacifiers in the house in the beginning.

Next- NO artificial nipples before 6 weeks- ASKING for trouble.

good luck!

-Angela
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#7 of 20 Old 03-29-2006, 10:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by alegna
Not in your group, but HAD to respond- step one- throw out your schedules and charts. Really. They are just asking for trouble.

Next- I would not have bottles or pacifiers in the house in the beginning.

Next- NO artificial nipples before 6 weeks- ASKING for trouble.

good luck!

-Angela
Wow. Had I wanted outside feedback I'd have posted this on the I'm Pregnant public forum. Obviously I didn't want that kind of uncaring feedback.

I was just asking my fellow due date club mamas for their input. But thanks for crashing in with your omniscience and total lack of tact.

I would never go to another DDC board and say something so rudely.

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#8 of 20 Old 03-29-2006, 10:31 PM
 
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I'm sorry you're offended. I have just seen a lot of breastfeeding relationships damaged by bad information. I just wanted you to have the best start possible.

It's all MDC and it's all open.

-Angela
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#9 of 20 Old 03-29-2006, 10:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by alegna
I'm sorry you're offended. I have just seen a lot of breastfeeding relationships damaged by bad information. I just wanted you to have the best start possible.

It's all MDC and it's all open.

-Angela
Perhaps you might consider a less abrasive approach if you truly want to encourage someone to having "the best start possible" because the one you used was curt, unwarranted and unkind. Not very encouraging, to say the least.

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#10 of 20 Old 03-29-2006, 10:42 PM
 
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I was not unkind in the least. I was straightforward. I was trying to be kind by saving you from the heartache that many moms go through. I'm sorry you were offended.

-Angela
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#11 of 20 Old 03-29-2006, 10:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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If you have anything else to say please take it to PM. I'd prefer not to have a mod interject in this discussion.

Have deleted orig post because the intention was to get feedback from my friends, not have the thread turn into something ugly.

Thanks.

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#12 of 20 Old 03-29-2006, 10:52 PM
 
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Actually I have reported this thread. I think it belongs in bfing where you can get the most input from exped moms who have already bfed one or more children. Your list has some big red flags in it, IMO.

I rec you also read the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and attend a series of 4 LLL mtgs while pregnant. (ETA, I see you are due next month! Well, at least you can maybe make one mtg before the birth!)

Many first time moms want dad to help with bottles of EBM at night, but this is not as convenient or helpful as it may sound. You can then get engorged on the nights he feeds the baby and need to pump anyway. Unless you need bottles they do add an extra step and barrier between mom and baby, and this is not in line with APing.

If baby is having a growth spurt, it may need to bf every hour or two all night long and if you are co-sleeping, you can learn to latch baby on and go back to sleep. As baby gets older, the breast is more to him than a feeding device. It is a part of the mom he loves and needs so much and a piece of plastic and silicone is a poor substitute, again, unless it is truly necessary to give it. Like if you have a medical condition such as fibromyalgia or MS or severe PPD or something!

The nice thing about mdc and LLL is you can get real life input from real moms who have BTDT!
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#13 of 20 Old 03-29-2006, 10:54 PM
 
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I have been breastfeeding continuously for the past 6.3 years of my life, and the best advice I could give is be patient.
Breastfeeding is hard in the beginning, the boobs get huge and engorged and are sensitive. Both mom and baby are learning and it just takes time. Don't get discouraged if it's frustrating at first, you will get good at it, don't give up.
Also, don't rush introducing solid foods. My first son was exclusively breastfed for the first year of his life and he's now a healthy strong 6year old.
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#14 of 20 Old 03-29-2006, 10:54 PM
 
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Oh well, while I was writing you deleted your OP! I don't know why you don't want input from many exped moms on such an impt topic! Education is a good thing.
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#15 of 20 Old 03-29-2006, 11:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by DaryLLL
Actually I have reported this thread. I think it belongs in bfing where you can get the most input from exped moms who have already bfed one or more children.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaryLLL
Oh well, while I was writing you deleted your OP! I don't know why you don't want input from many exped moms on such an impt topic! Education is a good thing.
Holy crap. Had I wanted the all of MDC to give feedback I'd have posted it in the BFing forum!

*severe blush*

I was just having a conversation with my due date club friends.

Sheesh.

If there was a way to delete a whole thread, I'd do it. I don't think it's appropriate at all to "report" and force move a thread from a due date club forum to a more public forum. We, the members of the April DDC, should be able to talk about anything we want to in here and do so without concern that anyone will come barrelling in with their opinions and try to move the thread to a more public place. I understand non-April mamas wanting to share opinions. But there's something to be said for being polite when you're visiting a DDC that isn't your own.

Honestly, you "reporting" the thread to have it moved just freaks me out entirely. I don't post on the public forums unless I want massive feedback. One's DDC is an intimate place to post -- where mamas who are going through the same things can talk and escape.

Why other people feel the need to jump in without knowing any background or the whole story or anything boggles me.

This is just what I needed for my BP....can someone please delete this thread? Adina? Please?

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#16 of 20 Old 03-29-2006, 11:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by DaryLLL
Actually I have reported this thread. I think it belongs in bfing where you can get the most input from exped moms who have already bfed one or more children. Your list has some big red flags in it, IMO.
Eeks...that's weird :

Renee - fwiw, I think it's a great idea to make a "cheat sheet" for yourself. I read over it before it was deleted and it was a great outline for what's normal. Now, I have yet to bf my own (give me a couple more weeks ), but I work as a lactation specialist at a birth center where all of our moms have from 1-3 home visits in the first couple of weeks (visited by yours truly)...so I see *lots* of bf'ing couples. You are absolutely right that most of what you have learned/studied will fly out the window with a little sleep deprivation. It's a great plan to have a quick reference that will remind you when to be concerned or not.

You are intelligent enough to know that "normal" and "average" babies don't actually exist and your baby will establish her own schedule. Other moms have pointed this out and their advice to watch baby and not the clock is spot on. However, what if you end up with one of those sleepy babes who is perfectly content to go 5-6 hours between feeds? Some sleep deprived moms I see are *thrilled* by this and think they just have a really good baby. Well, 4 or 5 feeds in 24 hours is not enough for mom's milk supply or baby's metabolic needs...and you will know this because you know she should eat *at least* 8 times in that time period!!

As for sharing night feeding responsibility, pumping and bottle feeding, and introducing a pacifier....the opinions on this are SO varied, even among the "experts." Bottom line is you have to see what works for your family. I would recommend not introducing *anything* other than your breast until you are confident that breastfeeding is well established and her latch is great. Our midwives/IBCLCs usually say to allow at least three weeks for this to occur, though sometimes it is longer. Regardless of when a bottle is introduced some babies switch back and forth without a thought and some *never* like the bottle. If you notice her starting to prefer the bottle or getting "lazy" at the breast you simply cut out the bottle ASAP.

The most important thing has already been said by another mama, but it bears repeating...breastfeeding is not always easy in the beginning! But the two of you will learn together, and one day you'll look back and wonder what the big deal ever was

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#17 of 20 Old 03-30-2006, 04:26 PM
 
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I think there is a danger in thinking babies will nurse x amt of times a day. Most newborns/infants cluster feed in the evening. They will be more on than off the breast. If the baby has already nursed 10 times that day, and then wants to nurse almost continuously from say, 8-11PM, this is normal. Many parents gets bogged down in trying to figure out whether you should "count it" as one big feed, or several feeds, or whether it is "nutritional", non-nutritional, pacifying, manipulative, overfeeding, etc.

And nursing can be even more frequent during growth spurts which usually occur at 3 weeks, 6 weeks (when so many mothers quit bfing b/c they fear they don't have enought milk), 3 mos and 6 mos (again, a time when many quit or force solids) for the same bogus reason.

If you add in pacifiers and bottles it gets even more confusing.

All 3 of mine refused pacifiers and I didn't use bottles b/c I did not WOH. They nursed on cue and I didn't try to schedule. I was surprised at how often my first nursed b/c I was expecting 8-12 feeds a day, not the cluster feeds that were the reality. Dd was born at 10 lbs and was 20 lbs by 3 mos. She needed to eat a lot. Probably 20x/day and this continued after solids were accepted as well.
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#18 of 20 Old 03-30-2006, 05:16 PM
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While there is the perception that the DDCs are private and isolated things, they aren't. The posts pop up in the New Posts function just like anything else.

This forum is open for discussion by anyone. And a thread that is titled like "Nursing Info" will garner interest from others, who are not due in April.

nighten, I actually encourage you to put your OP back. I had some of the same thoughts as the other posters when you posted the list, but had no time to respond. The info is good for everyone, and there are several frist time moms in our DDC who would benefit from the info, both from the list and from the responses.

It can be surprising when people jump in and tell you you are wrong, or that something is wrong, when you think it is a good idea. Especially when you are already a tad hormonal () and worried about doing everything right. So, just a reminder for everyone jumping in from outside the DDC, gently! Some of us (me included) are rather wound at this point, and ready to have babies, and may react more strongly than you might think is normal. This is a stressful time, and a stressful topic. We all worry and want to do the best for our kids, and for those of us doing this for the first time, we tend to get a little more wound than those who are on their second or more.


I am not the mod for this forum, so I won't be deleting or moving anything. I have presented it to the mod of the forum, and she will make her own decision. (I have enough to mod with my other forums. ) But as a first time mom and member of the DDC I am interested in the conversation.

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#19 of 20 Old 03-30-2006, 05:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by nighten
Wow. Had I wanted outside feedback I'd have posted this on the I'm Pregnant public forum. Obviously I didn't want that kind of uncaring feedback.

I was just asking my fellow due date club mamas for their input. But thanks for crashing in with your omniscience and total lack of tact.

I would never go to another DDC board and say something so rudely.
I see noting rude in Angela's post. I think she gave you very good advice, but you are obviously upset.

Breastfeeding isn't a "science" in that it will fit each nursing couple the same. Each baby is different and the best way to learn about them is to watch their clues, that is why people are telling you to throw away the schedules. Keeping notes can be helpful when you are nervous about something, but really should be second to the baby.

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
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#20 of 20 Old 03-31-2006, 12:39 AM
 
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The due date clubs aren't meant to be an exclusive forum to post about anything. They are meant to be a place to discuss the pregancy as it goes along and issues that arise at each stage. Nursing questions/threads should be moved to breastfeeding where you can get input from others in your position but also mothers who have been there before. I would move it, but it seems pointless now that you have deleted the op.
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