~~~Chit-Chat for 2nd half of November~~~ - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 95 Old 11-14-2005, 04:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, all! I hope this is ok. It just seems easier to keep up with all the chatter, if the thread doesn't get unmanageably long. I hope everyone is having a great start to their week!
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#2 of 95 Old 11-14-2005, 05:08 PM
 
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Here I is!
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#3 of 95 Old 11-14-2005, 05:42 PM
 
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Great idea, m2e! I much prefer it as well.
zona - hope you're feeling better. I don't even have kids and I feel overwhelmed. I'm glad to know that even a superwoman like you is human at times! I hope you get the support you need really soon.
KRS - so glad to hear that you think you're out of the woods. I know when I went through a really stressful week I started to feel cramping and other scary things. So I'm with you on the psycho-somatic stuff!
Games - yeah. I'm not the best sport, but have been working really hard on it. The past two months my fuse has been so short!!! I've had to really reign it in at times.
Well, we told the in-laws over the weekend. They were really happy and it turned out wonderfully. We tell my parents and sisters over Thanksgiving when we travel to see them. I'm a bit apprehensive - not sure why, 'cause I know they'll all be happy. I think it relates more to my own fears and concerns than anyone else's.

Glad to hear that some of you are feeling better. It gives me hope.
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#4 of 95 Old 11-14-2005, 05:56 PM
 
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#5 of 95 Old 11-14-2005, 07:58 PM
 
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What's up mamas? I like this start anew at 5 or 6 pages idea too. Thanks momma2emerson. KindRedSpirit I am glad you're feeling better. I hope everyone is well. The most overwhelming thing for me right now is my job. They make me so angry b/c of the way they think they can just walk all over people and treat them like garbage. The owner of the restaurant that I work at came in today nit picking and needling me and I just did not want to hear it. I was hungry and slightly nauseas, ready to go as it was almost that time, and it took every ounce of control in me not to freak out on him. This guy isn't even there most of the time. He had a problem with where I was standing, where we all stand as hosts for crying out loud, and wanted me to move up. I told him that I do move up when people come in the door to greet them and that I am PG and get nauseas and need to lean sometimes. He tells me all smarmy that well he'll talk to the GM and see about getting me moved to another postion, . His whole issue was customers stopping at the cashier first thinking that's where they go to be seated. Stupid s***. This post will get too long if I try to put in all the inflections and all of this minute and a half if that conversation but the way he was talking at me and being all condescending and b***** was just a little too much for me to handle at the moment. I am grown . My mom has been gone from her earthly body since New Years Eve of 2003. I don't need parenting, dysfunctional parenting at that, from the likes of this guy. Come at me like I am an adult. I don't care if he's the owner or who, I decided a while ago that I am not going to let crappy jobs with crappy employees, no benefits and ignorant management steal my joy and cause me stress. It's not worth it. On top of all the work stuff that's been going on, cause believe me that's not all of it, I've been missing my Mama something terrible. I went on an almost hour long crying jag a week or so ago and DH just didn't know what to do but hold me. Sorry for the rant ladies but I'm feeling those of you who are living in the land of overwhelmed. I just try to pray and think about my baby and my family and how much I love them. Anyway, off to do more surfin'. Much love and peace be with you ladies.

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#6 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 12:38 AM
 
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mcb

I need a whole slew of venti lattes to pass out... they don't even need to be decaf with all the steamed milk, do they?
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#7 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 08:36 AM
 
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May I join in?

mamacatsbaby, I am so sorry to hear about your work stress, and especially sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my dad over the summer, very traumatically, and I am having a really hard time too. These pregnancy hormones just make me so sensitive, I can start crying at the least little reminder. s to you.

Happy mama of four Wild Things
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#8 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 09:41 AM
 
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yay! glad you started a new thread....i did a bad job keeping up with the first one....kept wanting to jump back in but felt out of the loop.

mcb

KRS ~ glad you are feeling better!

~Erin
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#9 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 10:19 AM
 
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mcb - so sorry you have to deal with such an arse!

krs - sooooooo glad you are OK.

DH travel is killing me. he goes now to dallas tomorrow til friday - but we are goin on vacation next week - yay! then he goes to orlando again for 2 weeks and hopefully he is done for the season. i could never be a military wife.

so i am on this captain crunch thing. lol. it's all i ever want to eat! weird cuz i can't stand the stuff unpregnant!
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#10 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 10:57 AM
 
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Cheryl- I'm because I'm eating the heck out of the Mother's PB Bumpers which are like Captain Crunch PB except sweetened with molasses. Thank God they went on sale this week, I can stock up!
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#11 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 01:56 PM
 
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Mmmm...Cap'n Crunch...I'm not eating any refined sugar (yeast, etc.), but sugar cereals are my favorite. I would kill for a bowl of Crunchberries. Or Cocoa Krispies...yum!

I had a nightmare last night (well, really this morning) that there were all these nasty, gigantic bugs in my apartment. More and more bugs kept appearing and the apartment kept getting smaller and smaller, so that they were getting closer and closer. I woke up and...on the ceiling, right above my head, was a HUGE nasty bug. Needless to say, I kinda freaked out. But dh was very kind about removing it.

VENT: So, my SIL's SIL (I'll call her B, for convenience) just had a baby. SIL asked me if I was planning to bf and seemed SHOCKED at my reaction (which was basically "of course"). So, she tells me B is going to "give bfing a try and see if she likes it." B has a number of friends with babies and none of them have bf. Her registry is full of bottles, bottle cleaners, etc. She had a standard hospital birth, all the usual interventions, immediate bath after birth, no rooming-in with baby, etc. So SIL sends me pics from the baby's bris this morning (that's a whole other can of beans)--and, of course, there's baby with a bottle in his mouth. SIL tells me that B has decided, after a week, not to bf because formula is "easier". The whole thing just makes me so sad. NOT because she chose to formula feed, but because she didn't give herself a chance. If you think ffing is a choice, fine--but make an INFORMED choice. Really do your research. Really learn about the benefits of bfing and the risks of formula. Really learn about how the way you give birth and the support you surround yourself with affects your chances of successfully bfing. Sometimes the world just gets me down...
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#12 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 02:11 PM
 
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Amanda- I hear ya. I posted a vent on the BF advocacy... a girl I know nursed her first two for a few weeks each but didn't even bother at all with #3... I saw a picture of her in the post-partum room feeding baby her first bottle. What made it worse was it was that nasty Lipil read-feed with the nipple already attached. Could they try a little harder to suck moms in (granted, this one went very willingly)? And I think about the GMO-algae in that formula and I wanna puke. Her decision is based on things like saggy boobs and things like that.
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#13 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 02:48 PM
 
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It's so hard--I don't want to become one of those shrill, strident mamas who yells at strangers for bottle-feeding (actually, I don't think there's much risk of that--I hate talking to strangers!). What bothers me is not so much any particular individual's actions, but the way our current birth culture works so well to actively thwart any woman who isn't incredibly well-educated and assertive about bfing. My SIL (who is only 25 and not that mature) basically thinks bfing is "kinda icky" and inconvenient, b/c you can't just leave the baby. While she seems open to learning more about it, I just think that without that fire in her belly to bf and with the "example" of her other SIL, whom she always tries to emulate, the mainstream birth choices that she'll make (someday) will undermine her chances. I just want a level playing field, y'know?
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#14 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 03:09 PM
 
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Yup Amanda, that's exactly it.

I had a run-in with a cockroach yesterday -- I am not normally squirmish about bugs, but this one *pinched* me! Granted, I was trying to grant it a respite from the hassles of being a bug and give it a leg up in it's karmic journey (i.e., kill it ) but I don't think I deserved to be pinched! It freaked me out! I started doing that silly "ewwwww" dance... and my DH started laughing at me, implying I'd gotten a cockroach phobia (when in reality, he's the one who has the phobia!) and I am so proud I didn't freak out on him or anything! I just went back to the bug and crunched it under a (recycled) paper towel.

But ewwwww... being pinched by a cockroach still gives me the heebie jeebies!
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#15 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 03:25 PM
 
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OMG...that is horrible, alexis! I definitely have a slight bug phobia and cockroaches are the worst. We don't get them so much in DC--but I came across a giant one in my last apartment in NYC. I actually just walked out the door and waited until dh came home from work to return to my apartment! I've occassionally gotten up the courage to kill a roach (not very vegan of me, I know), by dropping a phone book on it--but then I'm absolutely too squeamish to clean it up.

My friend had a flying roach in her apartment once. As in, it flew up at her face. I would move.
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#16 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 04:03 PM
 
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I was trying to squish it with my fingers (between a paper towel) when it pinched me -- I'm not vegan, but I do say a little prayer when I squish bugs... spiders and such, I put outside if they're bothering us. I actually like bugs and am slightly fascinated by them (took entymolygy in college and considered changing majors, even!) but being pinched is ICKY!

There are TONS of cockroaches here (not in our house, but in the streets). I would assume that this is the season when they start to come inside... guess it's time to start being serious about keeping them away!
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#17 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 04:41 PM
 
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Hi ladies! Thank you for starting the new thread!

I'm having a crappy day too, so I'll join in with you ladies! I'm completley overwhelmed. We move into the new house on Saturday, and my house isn't even HALF packed yet. : DH has been busy working on the new house, so he hasn't been around very much lately, which is understandable, but still. I feel like I need to purchase a freakin referree suit to deal with all the kids here. Every single child in this house has a nasty buggery nose along with the phlegmy cough, UGH!! And then this morning one of the dads was dropping his son off, who is almost 3, and he sys, "D, what did you say in the car this morning?" And he's laughing, so he tells me that D wanted to watch cartoons, and dad said sure, when we get to Syd's house, and D said, "Syd's mean". Thanks so much for sharing that tidbit, as it has absolutely RUINED my day, I feel like such a bag of crap. I don't know why he said it, he has alot of fun while he's here, and he is one that I never have to discipline.

Sorry to whine, but I am indulging myself in a HUUUUUGE bowl of peanut butter cup ice cream.

MCB- Stupid people piss me right off.

Alexisyael- Ugh, I remember when we lived in KY we had cockroaches, they are a freaky little species!

NYCVeg- I agree 100%. It frustrates me to no end when a mom won't even try to bf. It's so discouraging. My SIL has a 6 year old that is literally sick from Sept to June. I think if she would have bf him, he could be so much healthier, and not have so many allergies. It is sad.

Lucklady- That's too funny, I was on a crunberries kick for a couple weeks, and now the thought of them makes me want to hurl!

Busy Mama to three beautiful girls and loving wife to my hubby
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#18 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 06:03 PM
 
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It's ironic though... age seems to play on a small, if any, part in whether or not a mom bf her babies. I'll be 25 soon, I graduated from homeschool with a GED, married just shy of 19yo, have two kids and over 50 months of "nursing" clocked in but on the hand you'll find a 35yo mom with a graduate degree who will not even consider nursing.

Go figure! I think society is so screwed up... it's okay to have Cosmopolitan at the checkout but heaven forbid a woman feel comfy NIP!
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#19 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 06:11 PM
 
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It is so strange when I read about all the anti breast feeding stuff that goes on. I live in Ontario Canada and when you have a baby here they really encourage, even push people to breastfeed. There is no subsidized formula here and that is because they are afraid it would encourage either early weaning or not breastfeeding at all. All babies (unless they are in the NICU) room in here and the mother is encouraged to feed on demand from right after birth on. We also have a nurse that comes to your house the day after you are released to look at you and the baby and to help with breastfeeding and there are tons of clinics where you can go and get help. The only people I know who bottle fed (at least for the first 6-8 months) had complications like pre-term birth or sick babies.

I guess we are lucky, but it just makes sense.
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#20 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 06:35 PM
 
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That sounds great Kristine! There's pockets where it's like that in the US I would imagine, but this is NOT one of them unfortunately.
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#21 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 06:53 PM
 
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Actually, even in Toronto (where I used to live), I saw lots of bottle feeding going on as a matter of course. Lots of bottle propping, too. (I was in the baby-intense area of High Park).

Two of the mom's I knew bottle-fed exclusively (one did try, but said her milk "never came in." I didn't get into more specifics, because I knew she felt hurt by BFers who judged her for it). The other didn't even try.

And that's not even counting my friend (who is a member here) who honestly couldn't BF because of a breast reduction she'd had years before. She stood up one time for a BFing mama when a fellow customer in a restaurant gave the BFer a dirty look and said something negative. She's a great BFing advocate.

And most of my friends did BF. Most even seemed to be extended BFing. But it wasn't like *everyone* did, you know?

Tho yeah, Ontario did have a good BFing positive vibe! I miss it! (Though we do have BFing billboards where I am now, I think as a reaction to the hurricanes where bottle feeding moms are unable to get good water).
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#22 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 07:09 PM
 
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I'm happy to say that we live in one of those pockets where bfing is the norm...in fact there was even a huge article in the local paper exposing the dark politics behind formula feeding. The author even interviewed an anonymous women who said that she was so embarassed to be seen bottle feeding at our local Barnes and Noble that she hid in the bathroom to BOTTLE feed. Our hospital send everyone home with a postpartum doula who is trained in nursing techniques. We're very lucky...and clearly liberal to a fault.
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#23 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 07:17 PM
 
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Hi All!

Went to first appt with midwife today. Went well. Was worried we wouldn't click - but I felt very comfortable right away! DS is another story though - he was very freaked out for some reason. We were at mw's house and she has this really cozy room with lots of pictures of babies and birth art and stuff, a comfy bed and rocking chair and lots of toys! The appt was over an hour and DS sat glued to me - although right at the end he started to roll around on the bed. I asked him later how he felt and he said he didn't like the mw! I said, "well do you think you might need to get to know her a little more? It can be different to meet somebody new." - he agreed with me and said he wanted to go back and see her again (he is pretty articulate at 2.5).

Anyway, I am not worried about this, I really like her and I think she was wonderful to him - he just needs to ease into this!

Well, we used a doppler and I feel really good that I heard the heart beat (and lots of kicking too!). We had debated for a while about using doppler - but I haven't really felt movement yet so I was a little worried.

Due date is questionable - not sure when we conceived (because we were having fun every other night back then....(lol) and my cycles tend to be irregular - we know it is probably somewhere between 5/14 and 5/21 - the only concern would be if we went over the due date....

I wanted to respond to some of the above:

Cereal rocks - have been inhaling boxes of Kashi's summer autumn shredded wheat. YUM

Breastfeeding rocks too - wish more momma's would catch on!

Sydnee - sorry about your day! Did he call you mean because you set limits his parents don't set? In that case, mean is good!

KRS - sending more positive vibes your way!

Traci
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#24 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 07:24 PM
 
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WOW What a lot to respond to! Umm cereal: EWWWWWWWWW FOOD EWWWWWWWWWWWWW, LOL. Maybe I will be more apt to eat in a couple weeks.

Cockroaches: I live in an infested area. In fact I went to the bathroom last night to see one on the bathroom counter. Just GROSS!!!! Time to exterminate again, as much as I hate the chemicals. I DO NOT think I would try to squish one as they are very resilient to that type of action. But, did you know, they have these really cool microbial eukaryotes living in their guts? I used Chloroform to kill them before cutting them open.

Breast feeding. I love BF and get really pissed when someone soesn't even try. ie my baby sister. She didn't want her boobs to sag AND she went in for repeat c sections so her vagina would stay the same. VAINITY, LOL. Unfotunately I have a bottle baby right now becasue I did not get milk this time and I have been very sad about it. I SOOOO wanted to tandem feed. I dried up 9 weeks pg wiht my last and ahven't had a supply since. Hopefully that willnot be the case again becasue formula is just plain ICKY IMO. ( so is my sons poopy diaper so I had better make this quick)

HUGS to anyone that needs them!

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#25 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 07:45 PM
 
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Oh, I squished it real dead I am good at that sort of thing...
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#26 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 09:32 PM
 
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RE: BFing and saggy boobs... I can't tell you from experience, but from what I have heard, the BFing doesn't cause the sagging, the relaxin hormone of pregnancy does. If you carry a baby for 9 months your boobs will sag. It's a fact of life. I plan to wear it as a trophy of my amazing accomplishment!

Also, I went to publix tonight for salad to go with our frozen pizza (sadly this is the healthiest meal of the week).. Well, ladies, they were giving out free food. SO MUCH free food. It was a Thanksgiving feast with all of the trimmings. I normally don't eat food from sample trays, but man do I love Thanksgiving spreads. I chowed on turkey, herb dressing, cranberry sauce (not from a can... mmmmm), mashed potatoes. It was amazing. Not organic and probably not healthy at all, but SO DELICIOUS!
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#27 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 09:54 PM
 
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You ladies crack me up! busybusymama, ~max~, dharmama and luckylady: I feel da love. Right back at ya. I know where you're coming from ~max~. alexisyael I almost peed my pants when you said that a roach pinched you while you were trying to squish it. I am so not a bug person, though I try not to kill them. DH says that if they come into his house, they takes their chances. Being a GA gal you guys would think I'd be used to all the bugs but nope. Sydnee. Mom2Adam might be on to somethin' there hmm? Mean would definitely be good in that case. Holly'sMom and dshields that's very cool that you guys live in such a supportive enviroment. I hear you all on the BF. I felt so bad for my sister b/c I think she was really trying but things just weren't happening. Tried pumping and everything. I try not to be too nosy a sister so I refrained from commenting on the supplementation with formula (I came to visit her the next day and the nurses or whoever had already brought her those little glass bottles of formula. : Not what a mom who's having some trouble with BF needs. ), the paci, the magnesium sulfate I believe it was that was given to her during labor that narced her up, making the environment ripe for a drowsy baby with poor latching abilities. Etc...They did have a very sweet LC though and that was cool. It hurt my sis not to be able to BF but niecy-poo is happy and healthy and that's very cool. Tee-hee, I'll have to tell you ladies the reaction I got from little sis when I told her we didn't plan on having this baby circed if it's a boy and how my appointment went today later. I hope everyone is doing great. Hugs and kisses for all. Til next time lovely lasses! Love,

mcb

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#28 of 95 Old 11-15-2005, 11:27 PM
 
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I called my mw today,she is comming to doppler tomorrow-she said it could be from the placenta taking over,or it could be a mc because the placenta didn't take over,and it could take a long time cos the baby is bigger. Sad to think of.

On the whole bf subject-formula is SO NOT EASIER!!!!!!!!!Why do people think this?We did formula w/Ds from 6 mo.to 1 yr.(undiagnosed nursing strike)and it was SUCH a pain in the butt!!!!!Not to mention the expense of formula,bottles,water,nipples,bags,keeping enough of it with you,it stains,it stinks,the baby's poo stinks....It's nasty,unpleasant,INCONVENIENT stuff.Nothing about is is EASY!!!!!These poor,exhausted new mamma's are just making life so much harder!They need support,not formula...so sad!

:::
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#29 of 95 Old 11-16-2005, 12:18 AM
 
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KRS: Just wanted you to know that I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I'm hoping so badly that you hear a strong and healthy heart beat.

A note about formula: I've only been exposed to two hospitals in my area, but the "easiness" of formula feeding is much to be blamed on the nursing staff at the hospitals. RNs are overstretched and don't take the time that is necessary to help a new mommy begin her breastfeeding journey. There is usually just one lactation consultant and only about half that time is she really helpful. So each new mom gets about 10 minutes (if that) of one on one BFing support. The nurses I have been around are very quick to pop a nipple on a glass bottle and let the baby suck away. Baby gets fed in 5 minutes because of the powerful flow. Mom is happy because she can "see" how much the baby is getting. It's a terrible cycle that really must be stopped. I actually heard a nurse say to a new mom "Oh, he only sucked 10 minutes on one breast. You will need to give him a bottle"... She didn't wait to see if he peed, wait to see if he pooped, wait to see if he was satisfied... Just popped a bottle in his mouth. I dare someone to try that on me. If the baby latched for 10 minutes, he was getting something. If he let go, he was done. GRRRRRR!!!
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#30 of 95 Old 11-16-2005, 12:28 AM
 
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KindRedSpirit...sending you happy vibes. Hope everything is okay!

I'm having more of the same stretchy-crampy feeling I had last weekend (I have all week, actually). I KNOW it's probably just normal uterine growth blah blah blah...but it freaks me out. Especially now that I've discovered that 12 weeks isn't the "magical" 2nd tri mark.

Just got off the phone w/ my SIL and found out that her SIL (B, about whom I ranted re. bottle-feeding earlier) had a HORRIBLE birth--I feel much more compassion now! B went in for the hospital birth, had an epidural. On the @#*@! EFM (don't get me started) there was a small drop in heartrate. So the doctors totally pressured her into a c-section--said it was an emergency, they had to do it immediately, etc. Then they found something wrong w/ the epidural, so they put her under general. And she's having a really difficult, painful recovery. Ugh...I feel so blessed that I did my homework and chose a birthing environment that I feel comfortable with. So many women just "trust their doctors" and end up in situations like that.

Okay...so that ends today's public service rants against mainstream birth and feeding practices. I promise to be cheerier tomorrow.
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