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Old 12-29-2005, 02:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Dh and I have agreed that this will be our last baby (for a total of 2, ds 6-04). I am on board with this, for a variety of reasons. I am one of 2, dh is one of 2, and a family of four seems "right" to us, kwim? Also, we are not rich and never will be, and it would be a stretch for me to be a SAHM (to which I am absolutely committed, until my children no longer need me at home, whenever that may be) if we were supporting more than 2. We want to be able to give our children as much of the best as possible, etc, etc. The reasons are kinda beside the point, since, as I said, I am absolutely in agreement with my husband... HOWEVER... As I start to look into preparing for this baby, buying teeny diapers (ds was in sposies till 6 mos or so), looking into trying out a new kind of sling, planning for a family bed for four, and so on, I find myself a little sad over the thought of this being my last pg, my last newborn, my last "babymoon". I suppose I just need to allow myself to feel this way, to mourn, if you will. I was just wondering if anyone else is going thru this.
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Old 12-29-2005, 03:02 PM
 
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Supposedly this is my last but who knows what is written.....

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Old 12-29-2005, 03:23 PM
 
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We're feeling "done" after this one as well. With the others, I wasn't completely sure but this time I am. We're pretty much "at capacity" with four, and I can't see another child in our future.

We had initially planned on two but these last two were happy surprises. I think after this one, one of us is getting "the procedure" and it's probably going to be dh...

C ~ mama to (16), (13), (9) (5)

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Old 12-29-2005, 03:34 PM
 
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This is my 4th and last as Iam 38 and having health issues.
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Old 12-29-2005, 04:39 PM
 
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This is our last, at least last pregnancy. I would like to adopt a third child, but I think dh would really have to be talked into this. I just feel there is a child out there that needs me.

I was always pretty ambivelant about pregnancy. I love feeling the baby move and the kind of bonding you have with the baby which is unlike any other relationship in existance. Pregnancy is facinating, but I really just want the baby. I threw a big party for myself (not literally) when I was over the morning sickness knowing I will never have to do that again. I'm sort of looking forward to the babymoon, but also worried about what kind of parent I'll be to my 2 year old with so little sleep. And I'm worried about her adjustment.

I have been thinking about how this season in my life--having babies--is almost over. It seems I spent my whole life looking forward to this time and now it's here and almost over. Now I have to start looking at what happens next, which I honestly have never done! As of this summer I will have been married 10 years, will have a house and two kids, an interesting career (which will go on hiatus for a while)...What's next? Child raising, of course, I just have to figure out what that looks like to me. And what kind of work I'll do since that's important to me...

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Old 12-29-2005, 04:42 PM
 
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This is my last for sure. This one was a fluke actually, my first one was supposed to be my last. Our religion kind of doesn't agree with having more than one child and I don't really dig being pregnant. We do plan to adopt two or three more though, and in the neare future.

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Old 12-29-2005, 04:54 PM
 
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Well I won't say 100% but I will say I am about 99% sure. I agreed with dh that
if this one was the girl we wanted that it would be our last which will give us 2 girls
and 2 boys. I would LOVE to have a bunch more kids but I don't want us to hurt financially just bc I wanted more kids also our house isn't going to hold anymore so
I can say for pretty sure that this is our last. It makes me sad but I am starting to
feel that complete feeling now so for now yes this will be our last.
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Old 12-29-2005, 04:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I, too, ponder adoption from time to time, but my dh would take some convincing, too! I'm glad I'm not the only one who's not so big on being pregnant. Like you, KatSG, I'm in it for the baby!

ITA that it's time to look forward to what's next. I figure, each new step of the way with Mason, my older, has just gotten better and better, so it's bound to keep getting better, at least till puberty, right?

I try to concentrate on properly enjoying and relishing each moment I have with ds, and I think (I hope) I'll have no regrets when my kids are grown.
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Old 12-29-2005, 05:25 PM
 
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Well....I thought we were done after this one. But recently my DH said something like "and when we have baby #3....". I said "What are you talking about?". and then I started thinking more and more. Now I am convinced that we will have one more!

Of course, let me get through this one first!
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Old 12-29-2005, 05:28 PM
 
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Well, #2 was supposed to be our last -- a famil of four seemed right for us but,,,, here comes number 3. This will definately be our last for multiple reasons... maybe I'll find time to write more later.
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Old 12-29-2005, 05:34 PM
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This is my first baby, but I wanted to reply anyway. I think you should go with your instincts. I think our emotions over-ride when hormonal and pregnant. I am sure I will feel JUST like you, once I feel that first one in my arms.....Ultimately you cannot know what you will do until you are juggling 2 little ones. You will then know if a 3rd is right for you and your husband.

Personally, I believe the earth's resources are taxed enough. Even if we do everything w/ a conscious, every life adds impact to the earth. For me personally, also from a family of 4, that number feels right....balanced. But some people can handle more! maybe you can keep in mind that you might adopt a 3rd, if and when you feel like you can financially take it on? That is kind of my plan b, if 2 doesn't feel like enough! :

oh yeah, and I know for me, I felt fortunate to take ballet and private music lessons. Music is a part of my life today, b/c my parents could afford this. w/ one or two more siblings that would not have been the case.

My .02, but blessings to all your future bambinos!
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Old 12-29-2005, 05:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That's an excellent point about the Earth and her resources, Itk. That actually figured into our decision, too. My mother has cited that as her main reason for stopping after my younger sister, and I've been hearing it my whole life! Adoption would absolutely be the only way we'd have a 3rd. I also have a niece, and another on the way, to whom I am very, very close, and I feel like I would need to be able to care for her should, god forbid, something ever happen to my sister and BIL. I feel like there needs to be space kinda "in reserve" for them, and I know my sister feels the same about my kids. No matter how remote the possibility, I would never want to have to turn them away for lack of the ability to support them.
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Old 12-29-2005, 05:55 PM
 
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Definitely my last. This is my 5th pregnancy, hopeful to be 4th child. I have too many problems, and 4 seems to be a perfect fit for us.
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Old 12-29-2005, 05:56 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KatSG
This is our last, at least last pregnancy. I would like to adopt a third child, but I think dh would really have to be talked into this. I just feel there is a child out there that needs me.

I was always pretty ambivelant about pregnancy. I love feeling the baby move and the kind of bonding you have with the baby which is unlike any other relationship in existance. Pregnancy is facinating, but I really just want the baby. I threw a big party for myself (not literally) when I was over the morning sickness knowing I will never have to do that again. I'm sort of looking forward to the babymoon, but also worried about what kind of parent I'll be to my 2 year old with so little sleep. And I'm worried about her adjustment.

I have been thinking about how this season in my life--having babies--is almost over. It seems I spent my whole life looking forward to this time and now it's here and almost over. Now I have to start looking at what happens next, which I honestly have never done! As of this summer I will have been married 10 years, will have a house and two kids, an interesting career (which will go on hiatus for a while)...What's next? Child raising, of course, I just have to figure out what that looks like to me. And what kind of work I'll do since that's important to me...
I feel exactly the same way, word for word!!! This pregnancy was a complete surprise for us, we were done with 2, but I know that I was meant to have 3 I would totally be up for adoption, but I know that DH is done with 3. I have no desire to get pregnant again.

Busy Mama to three beautiful girls and loving wife to my hubby
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Old 12-30-2005, 01:08 AM
 
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Oh I am so homonal. I am so sad that I know that everyday that goes by will be the last this or the last that. Its so funny because this was a total surprise and I can honestly say that I was done last time and in the beginning thoughts of not continuiung this pregnancy. I have two older kids from a previous marriage, one 6yr old adopted(impromtu relative adoption) and the way my last dd got here was that we had a miscarriage(unplanned preg) and then once we got used to the idea decided to try and I got pregnant the next month. I think there must be something in the fact that if we know we cant ever do it again makes us sad. I will be a few days short of my 40th birthday when our DD is born and there was much worry about chromosonal abornormalities and everything else that goes along with age that this makes us done and 5 is over the top!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do love being pregnant and have really easy pregnancies so I will miss that as much as anything.
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Old 12-30-2005, 01:51 AM
 
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jumping in from the Dec. DDC. this is my 3d, dh's 2nd and will be "our" first and last. it makes me sad that this is the last time i will do this, or that, or whatever....
BUT, i thought my FIRST and my SECOND were going to be my last...each time i went through these feelings. w/ my first, i thought i couldnt have more...w/ my second, i just thought i wouldn't have more. this preg. was a big surprise. at 38, i don't think i will be having any more children, regardless of whether or not i want more.
my point is that i don't think you are ever sure unless someone truly can't reproduce anymore, kwim?
if this is your last, enjoy every moment. but be prepared for anything!
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Old 12-30-2005, 02:04 AM
 
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This will be our last as well. I'll be 38 when the baby is born, and DH will be 42. Our children are young ~ DS is 4 and DD is 21 months now and having 3 kids 4 and under is about all I think I'll be able to handle .

Honestly, I'm very sad about it. Once I get past morning sickness, pregnancy is wonderful for me. I love everything about it! Knowing this is the last time I'll feel the kicks and watch my belly grow to embrace a new little person makes me want to cry.

But I've got to be reasonable, right?

~~Kristina~~ Mama to DS(10/30/01), DD1(VBAC 3/28/04) and DD2(HBAC 5/21/06)
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Old 12-30-2005, 11:05 AM
 
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oh yes, this is the LAST!
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Old 12-30-2005, 02:56 PM
 
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Dh really wants this to be our last- I'd like one more for a total of four. Dh is one of six and I'm one of three (two living).

So there's a good chance this is it, but there's also a good chance this isn't it for us- especially since I don't do hormonal BC or anything permanent and I just doubt dh would ever go for the big V. So planned or not, there's always a chance of #4. (this makes me think of Cheaper by the Dozen, they thought they were stopping and had oops twins and an oops singleton for an even dozen).

I get very sad at the idea of this being our last, but also look forward to doing more big kid things as my kids get older.
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Old 12-30-2005, 03:38 PM
 
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oh yes, this is my first and my last baby.....i am having a pretty eventful pregnancy. Enuff for me to say no more.
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Old 12-30-2005, 06:36 PM
 
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This will most likely be our last. I'd like to have at least one more, but dh doesn't, and I don't think I can go through another pregnancy. This one was really rough at first. I'm not ruling out adoption or fostering in the long distance future though. But for now, two is fine, and we'll have our boy and our girl.
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Old 12-30-2005, 06:41 PM
 
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YES!!! Especially after today with my DD. *sigh* Really I just know myself and 2 is gonna be pushing it - my patience level that is.
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Old 12-30-2005, 07:41 PM
 
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This is our second and last baby. I am gettin' on in age (38 in May), I like the idea of the kids and parents being equally balanced, and I don't have unlimited resources for parenting (emotional and financial) and neither does Mother Earth. I do feel a bit sad about it and kinda envy mothers in bigger families who can really evolve with each new baby. But I also like the idea of seeing my kids grow up and not feeling like I'm constantly "regressing" back to earlier stages. My mom had her last baby when I was 17 years old - it was pretty wild for the whole family and challenging in many ways. I think that she ultimately devoted more years to intensive parenting that she would have liked to. Kudos to big family mamas though!

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Old 12-30-2005, 07:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think part of my sadness stems from the fact that this was a COMPLETELY unplanned pregnancy. We weren't planning on another till ds was at least 3 or 4. He won't even be quite 2 yet! I just expected to have this 2nd pg ahead of me a while longer, I guess.
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Old 12-31-2005, 01:10 PM
 
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This is our second and last child. For many of the same reasons already stated, a family of 4 just seems to be the right fit for us, we're not well off financially, and honestly I don't know if I could go through it all again.

I don't love being pregnant, although I do treasure certain things like feeling the baby move around.

We're both in agreement that this is it for us, but I still do get saddened over it some days.
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Old 01-01-2006, 09:23 PM
 
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This is about 95% our last... some days 100% our last!! I have always wanted 3, but now that i have one and am facing another on the way, i honestly wonder if i could handle 3. When i think about doing the whole pregnancy and intense toddler years for a 3rd time? whoa. But then i think about growing up with just me and my sister and how desperately i wished we had more siblings, or even cousins our age. Our dc's will most likely not have any cousins. That makes me so sad. Family is so important...

That being said, dh is going to get a vasectomy, but he wants to wait at least 3 years. We have talked about adopting a 3rd, as impact on the Earth is very important to us. But then, since our siblings won't have kids and neither did his aunt and uncle, we kinda feel like if we ever decide to have a 3rd, we'd just take one of their slots

i dunno. too much to think about right now!

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Old 01-02-2006, 10:21 PM
 
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This will be our last baby. Two boys will be good for us.
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Old 01-03-2006, 02:15 AM
 
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Possibly it is the last but would really like a couple more after this one. Depends on if I can convince DH, he's still on the fence.

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Old 01-03-2006, 09:15 AM
 
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This is our 4th baby/5th child (we are aso raising my nephew) and I am 36, so I am 99.9% sure this is our last. Mainly bc I do not feel my body can handle another pregnancy. With each pregnancy, especially this & the last, it has gotten more difficult for me physically - migraines, vomitting, varicose veins, bladder problems, overall discomfort & exhaustion. My problem is, I'm not comfortable w/any unnatural/hormonal forms of birth control and a tubal is pretty scary to me too. So, that leaves NFP & condoms. We will need to be especially careful, bc I get pregnant very easily.

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