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So much for my birth plans...

676 views 11 replies 11 participants last post by  radicalmama 
#1 ·


I'm sitting crying over my laptop in the law library. DH was laid off last month. I applied for a financial aid "cost of attendance" increase to cover my medical expenses (homebirth midwives and therapy).

It just got "put on hold" until I recieve a decision from MedicAid. I know that I will receive medical coverage of some kind, either complete or just maternity. I already have temporary emergency state coverage for maternity stuff.

I have $400 in the back and DH get $230 a week in unemployment. We have bills.

But the law school thinks I should go to a MedicAid provider for the birth. My law school is telling me I'm not good enough for homebirth.

I cannot go to a hospital. Maybe I will just UC, but I'm so scared. I am afraid I will kill my baby somehow. I don't know enough. I'm just so scared.

Even if I do drop the homebirth midwives just for the sake of getting a refund from them so I have money to live on and pay bills with, I won't get that much back--I mean at 33 weeks, after receiving prenatal care for 18 weeks, how much are they really gonna give me?

anyway
 
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#3 ·
(((tie-dyed)))

Just try to be patient; you can find a way. Are there any midwives who do hospital births or birth center births? I know that in MO, midwives are covered with Medicaid (just not at home). Hopefully, you'll find out about Medicaid pretty quickly (in my experience, it only takes a couple of weeks).

Thinking of you, mama.
 
#4 ·


Oh man - so sorry!!! Will your MW's give you a break if you explain what's happened?

Many people choose unassisted delivery - read up on it! My midwife even told me to prepare for the event of having to deliver the baby myself - yes, it's scary, but women in other countries do it everyday.

I hope it works out positively for you - and either way remember the important thing is the end result - your babe in your arms.


 
#5 ·
One other possibility: can you talk to your mws about a sliding scale fee or a payment plan? Given your situation (especially the fact that you're 33 weeks), perhaps they would let you pay a bit at a time? And don't underestimate the power of complaining--I would definitely keep trying to negotiate with your school.

Sorry you're going through this.
 
#6 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by mrzmeg
(((tie-dyed)))

Just try to be patient; you can find a way. Are there any midwives who do hospital births or birth center births? I know that in MO, midwives are covered with Medicaid (just not at home). Hopefully, you'll find out about Medicaid pretty quickly (in my experience, it only takes a couple of weeks).

Thinking of you, mama.
45 days. Another two weeks. And no money.

There are medwives. I went to CNM for some testing. She is in MedicAid. She also freaks trying to freak me out about GD and other BS. I cannot stand her. Oh, and it's an on-call system between five different midwives, none of whom I get to meet in advance.

I cannot handle strangers sticking their hands into me.

I'm awfully scared to UC.
 
#7 ·
I'm so sorry you're going through all those issues with insurance and the job thing and such. No matter what happens though stand up for the chance to have the birth experience you want. If you have to pick an OB and do the hospital thing, interview several so you get somebody you're comfortable with and will allow you to labor and birth mostly how you want to. If you're uncomfortable with UC then you shouldn't attempt it, the point of choosing how you birth is to choose what makes you most comfortable so it will be easiest to relax and work with your body. I don't know how much reading you've done so far but in most cases, though, a birth that is left alone without medical intervention, by doctors OR midwives, tends to go best and end up with the healthiest and happiest babies and moms. I'd seriously look into that sort of thing if you want to consider UC further, read the books available like Unassisted Childbirth by Laura Shanely, Emergency Childbirth (I forget the author), and the other good natural birth books like Gaskin's and Dick-Reed's such.
 
#8 ·
I couldn't read and not post. . . I live near you and I'm a lawyer.


many
to you. I agree with the previous poster who suggested that you keep negotiating with the school. and work with the mw's for a sliding scale.

are you referring to the Providence birthing center (medwives?). do you mind me asking who is your homebirth mw? just wondering if I know her.

if you do end up having to go to the hospital, I think there are things you can do to "own" the experience. like, wait until the last possible minute to go there (labor at home). refuse everything. don't let your baby out of your sight, etc. since you were planning a homebirth, my assumption is you are very educated about all things birth anyway, so you should be empowered to "fend" for yourself at a hospital. would your homebirth mw attend the birth as a doula/secondary provider? just a thought.

and if you are talking about Providence ABC, i have a few freinds that have had great experiences there, for what it's worth. and I have a good friend that is a L&D nurse in the hospital, that would totally respect you and work with what you wanted (just in case you ended up there on a night she worked!)

I'll be thinking about you. good luck.
 
#10 ·
I feel so bad for you
! that is so much to decide here at the end. I have been to a few really good hospital births though.I second the idea that you can Labor at home as long as you can.
also, See if you can get an emergency medicaid card-back in the day they gave temporary medicaid access to pg women so they could immediately get medical care. This was in the early 90's so I don't know if they still do that. But first thing call your midwives. They may know of some options that you don't.
If all else fails-make a detailed hosptial birth plan-hospitals are getting more and more used to the women who come in knowing how they want it to go. carry several copies and hand them out at every shift change and to every one who starts telling you how to do things.
much love to you and baby-

gretchen
 
#12 ·
HUGS!!! We were in basically the exact same situation,and totally freaking out. We did a bunch of meditation (sorry for the airy fairy, but we did) , and out of nowhere my partners parents, who were against homebirth, offered to pay off our midwife.

We were stunned.

I guess its easy for me to say, cuz of what happened, but somehow there must be a way to keep your homebirth.

Best of luck.
 
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