I'm petrified. I knew stuff like this happened, but coming so close to my due date it's suddenly so real.
I mean, I am like every demographic that CPS likes to pick on (except I'm not black or hispanic--thank God for small favors. I'm freaked enough I'm suddenly relying on white privilage to feel better). I'm poor. I'm on MedicAid and Foodstamps. DH is unemployed. We live in a trailer. Our lawn is messy with bunches of dead spots from a winter of dog poo we didn't pick up well enough. I have a history of psych hospitalization and a history of sexual abuse. I am currently in therapy. I've refused most psych meds, accepting only a prescription for a potentially addictive drug. (SSRI's don't work for me. I got a prescription for xanax. Not ideal for pg and I've not taken a single one. It's just good to have them around. But to CPS that would mean I'm not only refusing psych treatment but am also a drug addict.)
And I'm having a homebirth and two separate medical practices are aware of this. I sought dual care and was dumb enough to not lie about the homebirth to them.
I'm petrified. I'm totally picturing CPS knocking down my door to take away my baby, forcing me to take a bunch of heavy-duty meds and never letting me see her again.
I'm sure i'm just being over-emotional with all the hormones and the whole depression/anxiety issue (although that is much better the past week or so).
But it is so scary. There is exactly *one* federal case that establishes a 4th am. right to deny CPS workers entry without a warrant. That case is from a different circuit.
Oh, and did I mention that my FIA caseworker hates me bc I've complained about her to her supervisor twice?
And I'm supposed to walk into that office within 10 days of the birth and write down and sign a bunch of information about my baby. It will, I'm sure, include "place of birth."
Parent's Guide to the "System" and fight CPS - both of which look like they're worth studying if you anticipate problems.
sharing life with | 10 yo ds | 8 yo dd | dh (since 2012)
"I am not what happened to me...I am what I choose to become." ~ Carl Jung
I'm sorry hon.
We do so many things that are not mainstream, and I worry about that. Thankfully, my pastor works for the local sheriff's dept and that brings me comfort for some reason. I can't believe they can take away a baby for something like that. What about the babies who have teeth rotting out because their parents prop up bottles filled with red pop and junk?
try not to get freaked out about the other story, but i wouldnt tell anyone else other than teh ppl who need to know.
Are you using a lay midwife? What are the laws in your state. We are using a state certified midwife for our hb - so what we are doing is perfectly "Legal". That doesn't mean that I am any less freaked out. We live in the country so don't have next door neighbors, but do know some of them that are close. We are not telling them about the HB. I am careful about a lot of people, mostly because I think they *could* freak out and call CPS or something (people are wacky you know!).
Anyway, my thoughts were, if it is *legal* in your state to have HB then you are not doing anything they can investigate.
We try to CYA as much as possible. I've already met with a HB friendly Ped. and will take baby in within 48 hrs (as much as I dread the 1/2 hr drive LOL). We also took DS in for all well baby the first year, didn't vax, but made the effort to take in.
Would it help to surround yourself with other HB mommas in your area? Is there a birth group that you could get involved with? That may give you some comfort, to see other mommas who homebirthed and did not have CPS or other issues.
good luck-and remember that this is a rare case-probably headed by some young overzealous caseworker.
we homeschool, are dairy-free vegetarians (but we do eat eggs), we don't vax, Ds2 (3yo) is still nursing, we both work at home, we were on foodstamps but didn't renew after February.
I am on medicaid just in case of an emergency with the babe, but I have been nothing but obnoxious to the nosey insurance company that keeps trying to butt in on my pregnancy and homebirth (which *I* paid for out of *MY* pocket)
I haven't been to any OB or CNM on their provider list (nor will I)--but I have been to all my appointments with my midwife (who is a certified midwife--just not a CNM)
we live in a slummy part of town--slumlord rentals on both sides of our house...and a bar across the street (gawd I wish we could move)
But....I'm trying not to stress over it. I'm sure not going to change anything at this point
And if they come to our door, we shoo them away till they have a warrant.
During which time we take all the kids to the pediatrician for a physical...
And we clean the house
All our homeschool paperwork is in order. We have food in the house (usually). Everyone has clothes. We have carseats. Dunno....
The physicals would be the only thing I would panic about and rush to take care of. The kids don't get sick, so they don't see the doctor often...and Maybaby isn't going to be vaxed either, so we wouldn't normally rush for an initial check-up (our midwife does the initial newborn physical).
I guess, what I'm trying to say is....know how you would handle it if they knock on the door, but other than that, don't stress over it.
I'm worried the CNM might threaten something if I don't let her induce/label me high-risk/etc. She's already tried labeling me GD--the OB overruled here. Then she told me I was at "very high risk" for PTL--at 35 weeks. I'm not at risk, and since when is PTL at 35 weeks either a high risk or terribly pre-term?! I'm sure I'll go part my EDD--first babe and all that--and she'll freak. She's already decided my EDD is two days earlier than my CPMs have determined.
Michigan is fairly midwife friendly--it is "legal by statutory inference." This is pretty strongly in its favor, but with all the cases going on right now it's still scary.
Oh, and yeah, we're not doing the hep B vax at birth. Fortunately out FP told us that if I test negative and since we're planning non-interventive homebirth it's not necessary. So that *should* alleviate the vax issue for the first couple of months at least. Unless he was lying. I doubt it, but one hears stories...
In any case I can fudge any paperwork for the state (I think--have to see how it's worded) about being up to date on vaxes and if I'm challenged on it I can point out that my doctor recommended not doing Hep b at birth.
I guess I know a few lawyers (I'm in law school), but I couldn't afford to hire any of them.
Hm, we also keep firearms in the house. I wonder if I should store those elsewhere for a few months just in case. Haven't used 'em in months anyway...too loud for fetal ears. And won't use em for months more. That can't be good thing to turn up in a search.
We always have a couple months worth of food in the house. I grew up poor and we're poor now. We always have a fallback plan in case we can't buy food.
As for firearms. Excuse me, but that's our 2nd Amendment right and I sure as heck hope they wouldn't touch that with a 10-ft. pole.
It's awful that we have to worry about these things at all, really.
I am not worried at all. It never occurred to me that in Los Angeles, I could have my kid taken away for homebirthing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping etc.
The yoga studio I go to preaches that stuff nearly seven days a week to classes full of pregnant women. I can't imagine it would be an issue here unless there were other problems that signaled real neglect or actual safety threats to the child.
I moved to Texas and had one hospital birth here... at that birth I was at the hospital no more than 2 days, and during that time I was threatened with "We could call CPS for medical neglect" no fewer than 3 times. My SIL gave birth in the same hospital a couple of years later and was given the same threats 3 or 4 times.
Why did they threaten us? I asked for no eye ointment and oral Vit K and no Hep B shot, I asked for early discharge and complete rooming in and on demand breastfeeding, and I did not have an epidural or stitches which was really weird to them. My SIL was threatened for asking for no Hep B and early discharge.
I feel safer with my homebirths (which have been UP/UC than I did in the hospital honestly. But I do already have the business card for a good family rights lawyer. I met him a year or two ago, talked to him about homeschooling and homebirthing and got his card after having him work on a trust for me.
Originally Posted by busybusymomma
It's awful that we have to worry about these things at all, really.
I agree. I am constantly amazed at the state of ridiculousness all around us and how these kinds of things persist and probably won't change anytime soon. It's mind blowing. Parents can have their child/children taken away for nursing, not wanting to inject their babies with whatever's in that needle that we should unquestioningly believe is good for them, homeschooling, etc., but mental, physical and emotional abuse are touted as parenting choices? I see it all the time but just in the past few days I've been stunned into tears. It really shouldn't be this way.
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." ~ Emo Philips
Me, DH, DS1, DS2, November 2012 , July 2013 , March 2014
Waiting on my SunshineBaby
I know honesty is an important virtue, but so is having your baby how you see fit. You could always tell the docs you've changed your mind and preregistered and then you can say it just happened too fast to get there....
Just a thought.
Cindy + DH Paul = DS1 (4/26/06), DS2 (11/30/07), DD (12/20/10) & surprise 4th edition coming in April 2014.
Bradley Method Natural Childbirth Educator, Doula, and Breastfeeding Counselor