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#91 of 115 Old 01-11-2006, 12:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by mommy2girlies
amy~dh keeps watching me scour the net for cute dipes and he said last night "we need to come up w/ a limit that you'll spend each month on the diapers" i guess he knows how excited i am to start this. i wanna buy everything i see!
Are you married to my dh or one of his brothers? We had the SAME conversation. I agreed and came up w a plan. Anything I sell on tp or ebay, the $ is fair game. I also plan on selling the dipes again when dd2 grows out of them so we can get some cash back for the next size. I also showed him the total spent on Pampers/wipes etc for 36 mos last time. After that, he changed his tone. But watch the tp- its way too much fun!

As far as ear piercing and circs. Please mamas, do not beat yourself up about what you did before and no one here has ANY right to flame either of you for your choices. I do agree, I hate when dh is right but, no one here unless they have not sinned or not made a mistake whether with money, their relationships, their parenting or anything can say anything judgemental about any of us.
My dh likes to say that parenting humbled us. Its made our marriage grow and brought us closer and its the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my entire life. But that said, I am by no means the perfect parent and neither is he.

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#92 of 115 Old 01-11-2006, 12:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Amys1st
Are you married to my dh or one of his brothers? We had the SAME conversation. I agreed and came up w a plan. Anything I sell on tp or ebay, the $ is fair game. I also plan on selling the dipes again when dd2 grows out of them so we can get some cash back for the next size. I also showed him the total spent on Pampers/wipes etc for 36 mos last time. After that, he changed his tone. But watch the tp- its way too much fun!

As far as ear piercing and circs. Please mamas, do not beat yourself up about what you did before and no one here has ANY right to flame either of you for your choices. I do agree, I hate when dh is right but, no one here unless they have not sinned or not made a mistake whether with money, their relationships, their parenting or anything can say anything judgemental about any of us.
My dh likes to say that parenting humbled us. Its made our marriage grow and brought us closer and its the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my entire life. But that said, I am by no means the perfect parent and neither is he.
maybe your dh's long lost twin!! :

well said about parenting. i really like the way you said that, very true. and your dh is definetly right, parenting is humbling!! just when you think you've got it figured out, dc's just let you know they're one step ahead!
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#93 of 115 Old 01-11-2006, 02:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Kelly- I WISH I could figure it out. She is always a step ahead of us it seems. There are times in the middle of the night where we will say- how did she get smarter than us??

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#94 of 115 Old 01-12-2006, 09:10 AM
 
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I am so THANKFUL that our doula showed us otherwise
I SO wish I had had someone like that when ds was born. I think that dh and I will feel somewhat guilty for the rest of our lives about it. But yes, we did what we thought was right at the time. It's funny too, because we thought EVERYTHING else out to the T - our birth plan was pretty extensive and well thought out - but we just didnt explore circing, for whatever reason. Anyways, so we lived and we definately learned, which I guess is the point.

mommy2girlies - thanks for the hugs! And Amy, you are so right in parenting is SO incredibly humbling. (man, the hormones are humbling, I am all teared up reading/ writing this )

Thanks mamas......

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#95 of 115 Old 01-12-2006, 10:19 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mountainsun
I SO wish I had had someone like that when ds was born. I think that dh and I will feel somewhat guilty for the rest of our lives about it. But yes, we did what we thought was right at the time. It's funny too, because we thought EVERYTHING else out to the T - our birth plan was pretty extensive and well thought out - but we just didnt explore circing, for whatever reason. Anyways, so we lived and we definately learned, which I guess is the point.

mommy2girlies - thanks for the hugs! And Amy, you are so right in parenting is SO incredibly humbling. (man, the hormones are humbling, I am all teared up reading/ writing this )

Thanks mamas......

I am one of the few around here that think that circ'ing, although completly unnecassary, will NOT scar the child for life. I circ'ed my first son, not knowing any better, and the reaction he had was FAR less than the reaction my daughter had when they put an IV in at two days old. She screamed for the whole time, and whimpered for about an hour after, while I held her and cried. My son flinched. He was asleep before they bundled him up. (He was numbed for it). So although I agree there is no reason to do it and I would go back and change my decision if I could, I refuse to think that my son is going to have these long-lying issues. That would mean that most men our age in this country have issues (I don't know any who do). I would think that that also means that any child that had any trauma at birth would have life long issues...I just don't see it.

I know it is going to get me in trouble for saying this, but I hate seeing mothers with such guilt for doing what they didn't know any better for...when we know better, we do better. And as PP have said, how often does penis comparison come up?? If we don't make a big deal to our sons that we DID circ and now regret it, why would they make a big deal of it?

And yes, I DID watch the circ (through a glass door). I did take care of it for the week after...
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#96 of 115 Old 01-12-2006, 12:23 PM
 
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Caroline, For me, it's really not that I think he is/ will be scarred for life, it's more that I egret infringing unnecessary pain on him, kwim? My guilt comes from subjecting a tiny newborn babe (my babe!) through that, for really no reason at all. That's all.....but like you said, you know better you do better, and we will not be circing ds2

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#97 of 115 Old 01-12-2006, 01:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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[QUOTE=Caroline248
I know it is going to get me in trouble for saying this, but I hate seeing mothers with such guilt for doing what they didn't know any better for...when we know better, we do better. And as PP have said, how often does penis comparison come up?? If we don't make a big deal to our sons that we DID circ and now regret it, why would they make a big deal of it?

.[/QUOTE]

Caroline- this won't get you in trouble at all, you're right- why should any mamas feel guilt over doing what they didn't know any better for. If anything lets applaud these parents for taking a stand next time and doing something different and learning in the process. Besides, I almost always learn from my previous experiences that the next time something happens, I know to do that again or differently.

If I had a dime for every time I have heard someone say or post that they do not read mothering or visit here anymore was because they were made to feel inferior for their choices, I could retire tomorrow. Peggy even mentioned that in her last issue that she has heard mothers say directly to her that her publishing made them feel this way. I really do not think this magazine set out to do that or did this mdc forum when it was formed.

Since natural living has gotten more into the mainstream and more people realize this lifestyle, we are going to face some judgements that are pro or against whatever you plug in here. Since I have been judged for my choices in birthing, CLW, not cio, cd or not, co sleeping, delayed vax (from non vaxers and vaxers alike!!), being a sahm, voting for one candidate over another, being catholic, italian, white, suburban, frugal, anything else??? So I try to make it my business not to judge others on their choices since I knew how I felt when I was judged for mine- some of which I had no control over!
Its a crazy world isnt it?

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#98 of 115 Old 01-12-2006, 04:08 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Amys1st
If I had a dime for every time I have heard someone say or post that they do not read mothering or visit here anymore was because they were made to feel inferior for their choices, I could retire tomorrow.
Amen! It's been the same IME and it's terribly sad b/c so often it is mamas who are living a lifestyle that others are pointing fingers at, then coming here and pointing fingers at one another. Like that old psychology story you here, dad yells at mom, mom yells at the kids, the kids kick the dog... Good for you for being the kind of mama that stops that process and instead turns around and gives a instead. Even if you don't "agree" - I find that pretty rare, in life, but even moreso here.

anyway...just good for you!

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#99 of 115 Old 01-12-2006, 06:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mountainsun
I SO wish I had had someone like that when ds was born. I think that dh and I will feel somewhat guilty for the rest of our lives about it. But yes, we did what we thought was right at the time. It's funny too, because we thought EVERYTHING else out to the T - our birth plan was pretty extensive and well thought out - but we just didnt explore circing, for whatever reason. Anyways, so we lived and we definately learned, which I guess is the point.

mommy2girlies - thanks for the hugs! And Amy, you are so right in parenting is SO incredibly humbling. (man, the hormones are humbling, I am all teared up reading/ writing this )

Thanks mamas......
Oh mama I am not trying to make anyone feel guilty. I could have and would have been in your shoes if it weren't for my doula. That's why I want to get the word out about it. I really wish doctors would explain in more detail to parents about it. How it's useless and the aap doesn't support it. Other countries can't believe that we do this to our baby boys. The most important thing now is you know about it! I don't want to come off harsh, this is just something I am very passionate about!
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#100 of 115 Old 01-12-2006, 06:20 PM
 
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coco4cloth - no offense taken! I totally understand and really really respect your passion about the issue! I feel pretty strongly about it now, too, so I am glad that you said what you did
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I really wish doctors would explain in more detail to parents about
Honestly, my OB said NOTHING to us about it until after he was born. And then it was just "Are you circing?" Nothing more, nothing less. I mean, NOTHING! nada, zip, you would think it was the same as "Will you bathe him," or something else just as harmless. I think you should get a full color pamphlet with each part of the procedure in graphic detail. But then again, that could be said about all aspects of health, vax, nutrition, labor/ birth in general.

OK, I digress!

That is also why I will not hesitate to tell anyone that yes, ds 1 was circed, and no, ds2 will not be. So, really, thanks and kudos!

  homeschooling, earth loving Mama to 3 crazy, wonderful boys, ages 10 & 7, & 3 mos.,3 spirit babies                                Inch by inch, row by row.  Gonna make this garden grow  
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#101 of 115 Old 01-12-2006, 08:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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ok- throw some more fire in,

Add to the "are you circing him?" sounding like will you bathe him (loved that analogy btw )

"are you going to formula feed or try breastfeeding?" Sets mama up to fail
"Did you want to leave the baby in the room tonight or get your rest and send him to the nursury?" Like you would leave the baby far away at home!

and of course before you start really laboring.....

"Did you want to try without the epidural for a while?"
"Do you want to move this along with a pitcn drip?"
"Well give it another hour and then we can c section if you don't progress"
"If we do an episodomy we can then get the baby out"

this is all for your Dr's conveniences the way its worded. It also puts down the parents imo and I have heard these all used whether with me, other friends or that show on TLC which I cannot watch anymore or I might blow a gasket. These sayings also set the poor mama up for guilt later on as we are finding out....OK off my soapbox!

LeighAnn, thanks for your wonderful compliment, it means the world to me. But really, I could no more judge anyone here than get into a fight with a pitbull. I find that if I take the humbling way, I can be exalted someday since its much easier than be exalted and then humbled. I am trying to live my faith and also we need to be positive role models for our dc which is a challenge in itself somedays I really do not think anyone meant to make anyone here feel guilty about choices but wanted to inform them too!

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#102 of 115 Old 01-12-2006, 09:48 PM
 
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I really do not think anyone meant to make anyone here feel guilty about choices but wanted to inform them too!
Well, perhaps not HERE as in this DDC, but definitely IRL and at MDC do people definitely have the intention of making others feel guilty and/or inferior by their comments.

That's what bothers me and why I complimented you b/c it can be very easy to do I'm sure I've been guilty of it on a number of occasions myself

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#103 of 115 Old 01-12-2006, 11:44 PM
 
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Totally off-topic, but after seeing the pictures...does anyone else think Angelina might be in the "June" due date club?!
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#104 of 115 Old 01-12-2006, 11:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Leighann- I totally agree!!! I meant like you said in our due date club.

StacyL- I just said that this morning!! OK, which one of you is angelina?? Trust me, its not me!

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#105 of 115 Old 01-13-2006, 04:18 PM
 
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amy and leighanne~you two are so wise and wonderful! you two sound like great women who have their heads firmly square on their shoulders. im glad and lucky to be in our ddc together. and im so glad that this forum hasn't become what some others are like :

i love that we can discuss topics that are usually debatable and become heated, like knowledgeable adults, seeing all sides of an issue. all you ladies are great! and im so happy to be sharing this experience with you guys!

ok, so on to the angelina topic, not to sound like a total goob, but are you guys referring to angelina jolie? also gwen stefani from "no doubt" is also pregnant and due in june! and i've also heard that gweneth paltrow is too. not sure when she's due....ok, enough of my celebrity gossip nonsense, my "insatiable lust for hollywood gossip" roots are starting to show! :
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#106 of 115 Old 01-13-2006, 10:52 PM
 
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i have been so busy i haven't had time to log on and then i didn't get email updates and figured you guys weren't talking... um, guess i forgot to log on after my last email update. anywho, we had our ultrasound yesterday and the tech says boy number 2 is coming, but she also said he was rather shy.... so, again, i tentatively say boy but reserving judgement until the baby comes out

and if this is baby 2, that will be my second uncirced babe. my family didn't do it so actually didn't consider it myself though my dh is circed. we shall see if i ever convince him to restore, but that is a conversation reserved for the circ section so i will end now...

and go back to wondering if baby 2 will look like baby 1

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#107 of 115 Old 01-14-2006, 10:44 PM
 
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Well, we met with one midwife last night and one today and are going to hire the midwife we spoke with today!!! I was actually comfortable with them both, but the one today lives about 3 miles from me, comes to my house for all appointments, and just all-around worked better for us. So, now I have to call the other midwife and let her know we'll be going with someone else.

It'll cost us between $4000 and $5000 out of our own pocket for everything - the midwife, the doula, any labs (cord blood type & cross as I am Rh-), and any thing we need to buy for the actual home/water birth. But, we (dh and I) feel it is so worth it ... today he was like, "So, $100 for a hospital birth or $5000 for a homebirth?" and I said, "Homebirth!!!"

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#108 of 115 Old 01-15-2006, 02:14 AM
 
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Totally off-topic, but after seeing the pictures...does anyone else think Angelina might be in the "June" due date club?!
I was thinking that too.

I had to finally crack out my maternity clothes today. After 2 weeks in sweat pants I thought it was time. I have some cute stuff I had forgotten about.
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#109 of 115 Old 01-16-2006, 10:06 AM
 
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Anyone else depressed lately? Just really sad?
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#110 of 115 Old 01-16-2006, 04:12 PM
 
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Well, we met with one midwife last night and one today and are going to hire the midwife we spoke with today!!! I was actually comfortable with them both, but the one today lives about 3 miles from me, comes to my house for all appointments, and just all-around worked better for us.
Wow - that's great news - congrats And once again, your good news has helped me feel better too. We have to pay $2.8K for a homebirth and likely 80% of that should be reimbursed...but OB would be out-of-pocket, up front absolutely ZERO, but you're right - it's going to be WORTH IT!!

Oh and my m/w comes to our home for all appts and it is heavenly. No cold waiting rooms, reading crappy mainstream pg magazines for me

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#111 of 115 Old 01-16-2006, 04:14 PM
 
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Anyone else depressed lately? Just really sad?
On the whole, no, but I do have my moments, that's for sure (and sometimes they last a whole day). This has definitely been my most "emotional" pg that I can remember, mostly making me feel like crying than the other way around.

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#112 of 115 Old 01-17-2006, 10:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi I'm back from Ca and rested!

I too am not necessarlily depressed but clearily annoyed with some people IRL. Even now some people really get at me and I remember that normally they bother me anyway, so now that I am prego, it multiplies times 1000. So I keep reminding myself that and try to just avoid them etc...

Feeling depressed can come from various things, I remember feeling that way last time when I went on bedrest. I also know mamas who felt that way esp the first time because your body is doing weird foreign changes that you have not done anytime before and that could throw you for a loop whereas this time around, Im saying- oh there goes that again.... Can you talk to other mamas who have already been thru this? And I do not mean the type where nothing happened at all when they were prgnt- we all know her!!

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#113 of 115 Old 01-18-2006, 12:59 AM
 
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So I watched the Golden Globes last night, and is it just me, or do all the other celebrity pg women (besides Angelina) also look like they would be due around June? I'm thinking Gwyneth, Rachel Weisz, Gwen Stefani, etc. Weird??
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#114 of 115 Old 01-18-2006, 11:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I did not see the awards, but the dresses the next day. The paper had a spread on the pregos. I think Gwenyth is due when we are and so is Angolina.

So could they be talking with us???

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#115 of 115 Old 01-18-2006, 11:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Leighann-
Thanks for the natural babies lead. Just got some organic prefolds- they are not washed and they are like heaven! Sweet mama too.

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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