How to convince dd1 it could be a boy... - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-15-2006, 01:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd1 is 3 1/2 and is convinced the babe is a girl. We are not finding out, so I was wondering what I could do to convince her that it could be a boy or a girl. She refers to the babe as her sister and refuses to even let dh or I say it could be a boy. She will argue until we just stop disagreeing. I am afraid that she will be disappointed if it's a boy. Anyone out there go through anything similar before? Any ideas on how to help her realize that we don't know if the baby's a boy or a girl?

~Lisa
Mommy to Meara (6/21/02), Raina (6/10/04), m/c (6/8/05) and Baby Lovebug edd 6/16/06

Lisa, mom to M : 6/02, R : 6/04, m/c 6/8/05, L 6/06, and E 8/07
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Old 01-15-2006, 01:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mearaina
My dd1 is 3 1/2 and is convinced the babe is a girl. We are not finding out, so I was wondering what I could do to convince her that it could be a boy or a girl. She refers to the babe as her sister and refuses to even let dh or I say it could be a boy. She will argue until we just stop disagreeing. I am afraid that she will be disappointed if it's a boy. Anyone out there go through anything similar before? Any ideas on how to help her realize that we don't know if the baby's a boy or a girl?

~Lisa
Mommy to Meara (6/21/02), Raina (6/10/04), m/c (6/8/05) and Baby Lovebug edd 6/16/06
Awwww... we went through this with our kiddos. My oldest ran to her room and cried when we found out it was a boy!
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Old 01-15-2006, 03:41 PM
 
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That's hard. I think 3yos just have a hard time with any agenda that isn't theirs. Maybe you can find some adorably wonderful spectacular baby boys to visit?
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Old 01-15-2006, 04:23 PM
 
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My 6yo has two younger sisters and always referred to this one as a boy and her brother and would get upset when we'd talk about the possibility of a sister and in her words it was because: "the more we talk about it being a girl, the more I'm afraid it will be a girl." Granted, she's got 3 years on your dd, but this may be some of why she doesn't even want to hear it. YK?

I asked all 3 of my girls as they drew pictures of their baby brother (before we knew) if they would be dissappointed if it was a girl and my 6yo said no, but "can't I just pretend it's a boy until I know for sure?"

Maybe you could just more "play games" with the idea rather than try to discuss it. Like - what will you call the baby if you have a sister? And then ask, what if it's a brother? If she gets upset, you can just say casually, "well I know you really WANT a sister, but just in case it were a boy - we couldn't call it Suzy (or whatever she suggests) so do you like any boy names especially?" And - what do you think a baby girl will look like? You or me or your sister (she has one already,right?) and then switch to a boy - if we had a baby boy - do you think it would look like daddy or grandpa? My girls love to play "what if" games like that and maybe having it be more about a game than a serious discussion would work?

WOHM married to SAHD, living the dream w/our: 3 girls (14,12,10) and 3 boys (7,5,3) and tie-breaker due Jan 2014

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Old 01-16-2006, 12:30 AM
 
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My little boy is doing the same thing. He is adamant that it is a "baby sister". We bought some clothes yesterday and he said it was for his sister. When I mentioned the possibility that it might be a baby brother, he said NO! Baby SISTER! We will be finding out though, I hope that if it is a boy, we can get him used to the idea! Maybe your dd and my ds are right though, some people say that the little ones can tell...
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Old 01-16-2006, 12:49 AM
 
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I think you have to just find some way to convince her, in a way that she totally gets. My 4.5 yr old DD is very very girly (believe me - I have done the whole non gender-specific stuff from day one, always been very neutral, I myself am a bit of a tomboy... but still she turned out this way ) So when she kept referring to my pregnancy as a girl, I reminded her that if it's a boy, she doesn't have to hand down her beautiful skirts and dresses. She thought about that for a second, and since then she will say "we don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet, we have to wait and see!" and she will quite often refer to it as a boy. (I'm getting massive boy vibes, so I hope to g_d I'm right!!!)
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Old 01-16-2006, 02:15 PM
 
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It can be tough, but it seems as if many of us are coping with similar circumstances. My 4 1/2 year old dd, is insistent that I am going to have 2 babies - a boy and agirl. She even argued with dh about it one day so I would say she actually believes it. Unless Wed.'s u/s holds one big surprise for us, she is sure to be disappointed (and I do believe she is wrong since I have already had many u/s's). I agree that casual discussion is likely to get you further and I am hoping it works over here as well. Good luck!

Nichole, mama to 6 blue-eyed babies, LCCE, doula, apprentice mw
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Old 01-16-2006, 02:40 PM
 
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Hi. Butting in from the April board...

I have the SAME problem with MY 3 1/2 yo DD! She is CONVINCED this is her "baby sister" and nothing we can say will change her mind! I keep trying to prepare her for the possibility that it could be a boy! (We didn't find out, either) I don't know if you are religious, but we are, so we tell her that it might be a baby brother because God knows what is best for our famliy and a baby brother might be better for us right now than a baby sister... But I really don't think it's working!! LOL She refuses to really even discuss the possibilty of a brother!! LOL

I am encouraged by my older sister... I know that when my mom was preggy with my brother (we were 10 and 8) my sister kept saying that she was going to move out if mom had a boy... Well, needless to say, that once mom came home with him, he won my sister's heart and we never heard anything more about her moving out! LOL (At least until she was 17! Ha ha) So I am hoping that if we DO have a boy, that DD will be the same way and fall so much in love with her brother that she can't imagine if he had been a sister! (But I *DID* tell DH that if it IS a boy, HE has to be the one to break the news to DD! I can't cause that kind of disappointment!! )

Anyway, just letting oyu know that you aren't alone!!

Kerri

Wife to Kevin (8-1-98)
: Proud Momma to Katelyn (4-02), Calvin (4-06), and Ashley (7-08) :
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Old 01-16-2006, 02:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I will try the what-if games. Although I suppose she will learn to be happy with the baby regardless of sex. Dh thinks that she just assumes it will be a girl because in his words "we grow girls". There are some baby boys at church, and we are watching the nursery this coming weekend. Maybe Josiah (a real cutie) will be there and we can show her a baby boy. It is hard for her because almost everyone we're close to has girls. It must be in the water.

Anyway, thanks for the support. I enjoyed reading about everyone's experiences.

~Lisa

Lisa, mom to M : 6/02, R : 6/04, m/c 6/8/05, L 6/06, and E 8/07
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Old 01-17-2006, 09:05 PM
 
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My 3 1/2 yo dd is insisting on the same thing! Dh and I are sure its a boy (intuition). We are finding out soon, and she will be there during the ultasound so that will hopfully convince her! When I tell her it may be a boy she's like "yeah, but you're having twins, there's a girl in there too". She's accepted she may be having a brother, but if that's the case she's SURE there's a sister too! Who knows, maybe our dd's are more perceptive than we are... she DID know I was pg before I did! So I guess I shouln't be too shocked to see 2 babes on the screen. Likewise, who knows, maybe you really are having a girl and she just knows you are. Either way, I'm pretty sure they get over it eventually. Disappointment is part of life, as is learning that sometimes the things we least thought we wanted turn out to be our greatest blessings. She'll work it out. I think all we can do is offer lots of hugs and kisses and keep the idea of a boy optimistic by saying things like "if you have a brother he'll just be your best friend ever!" Sure, they'll give us the "you idiot!" look, but optimism never hurt anyone!

Holly, eternally in love partners.gif with Kolby, Raising Juelie Anise (10y), Behnjamin Shen (6y), and Coen Syaoran (4y). Expecting June 2013 2ndtri.gif

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Old 01-19-2006, 04:30 AM
 
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my oldest was the same way... "I will not allow a boy in my house!!" arms crossed, foot stomped, brow furrowrd... thanfully he was right, we had a girl and none of my others have gone through that... although my dd really wants a sister, she's 7 so a little more reasonable, but she's been talking about her b aby sister for two years now!
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