I'm not Ready!!! - Mothering Forums
June 2006 > I'm not Ready!!!
Selesai's Avatar Selesai 01:34 PM 01-17-2006
Ok, so today is the first day of my 17th week. Isn't this officially month 5? I'm not in maternity clothes (though probably at least need pants), and my dr says I have to gain weight. (Anyone else have this issue? I haven't gained any weight yet. But I did start off about 15lbs overweight, if that matters.)
And last night I realized-- I don't have anything for the baby! I haven't planned clothing, I need to order CDs, a car seat, find a sling, first aid stuff, a rocking chair?, and we need another bureau, and I want to try the co-sleeping thing but I wonder if I need a backup (DH says get a crib anyway, I hate cribs they are like mini prisons to me, maybe I'll change my mind). And aren't bassinets kind of a waste? But so cute!
And all of this on a modest budget!
PLUS, I have much more research to do re: the kind of birth I want to have

Half the time I wonder if I even know what I'm doing?
Anyway, I'm just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat!

fireant's Avatar fireant 03:42 PM 01-17-2006
I'm almost 20 weeks and I have only gained 1 pound as well. My Doctor says the weight will come and not to worry.
tekslilbrat's Avatar tekslilbrat 04:21 PM 01-17-2006
With my last pregnancy, I gained 5 pounds in my first 7 months. My major weight gain came inthe last two months. You could not tell I was pregnant until my 8th month unless you caught a side view of me. Good Luck!!!
Mearaina's Avatar Mearaina 04:30 PM 01-17-2006
As far as getting baby items on a budget, try consignment shops.

I can't help you with the weight, I have the opposite problem.

Try to relax. June is getting closer every day but it is still pretty far away.

seekermage's Avatar seekermage 04:58 PM 01-17-2006
First of all...deep breath...and release. Relax mama! Everything will come together when its supposed to. The only thing you really need to worry about at this point is a car seat (so that baby can come home from the hospital etc) and some diapers. We can gladly help you find your diapers. One place to check is diaperco.com they have layaway (this is what Im planning on doing as we are on a bugget too) and she has a mdc code for money off as well. please pm me if you would like me to help you put a package together etc.

As for the crib, if you plan to co-sleep then dont worry about it. I suggest you get a pack-n-play instead. Get one of the deluxe models (ours was only about $100) that comes with the bassenit and changing table feature. We used this in out bedroom for well over 6 months as a bed for the baby. She was in the bassenit most of the time and we eventually just put her in it at the bottom. What is nice is they are packable and you can bring it with you to visit reletives etc and baby will have a safe and comfortable familiar place to sleep. Also, this way if co-sleeping doesnt work you have a back up plan.

As for the sling, rocking chair etc....dont fret, these are all things you really dont need but are more luxuries. My dd hated to be in the sling and I always fed her on the couch. When she was older I finally got my rocker and it was used more for bed time then anything. If anything, I would check out the trading post. Put an ISO for some of the things you are looking for: sling, diapers, etc. Mention you are on a budget and im sure there will be someone out there able to help. Whether it be a trade or something. As for consignment shops, those are hit or miss. I would NOT get a car seat or stroller there etc, I found them to be just as much money or more then getting them at a discount store. One things to check now too is a lot of places have last years models on clearence right now to clear the way for the newer models. There is nothing wrong with them mostly just apattern change etc. I would take a trip to babies r us or other baby stores in your area....even oline...and see what you can find.

Another thing to consider....are you having a babyshower? i got all my big things from my shower (and I have a SMALL family!) so if you are....you might not have to worry so much. Good luck....let us know if you need any more help
chiromama's Avatar chiromama 05:37 PM 01-17-2006
Garage sales and consignment shops!! you can find just about everything you need that way. You'll need a new car seat,but everything else (unless you do buy a crib, that should be new or from someone you know) can be used or borrowed.

Weight gain.. I didnt' gain a pound till well after the first tri, adn I'm pretty sure I lost weight during the first tri ( i don't know my pre preg weight). I have gained about a pound a week since about week 14, and my mw is totally happy with that. She did say she wants me to eat more.. so... eat more!
Snack snack snack. yogurt smoothies (i like stonyfield farms, yum!) string cheese, fruit. anything you can grab and eat easily (that isn't crap)
MidwifeErika's Avatar MidwifeErika 05:49 PM 01-17-2006
Here are some ideas of places to get stuff for your baby: garage sales, consignment, craigslist, freecycle, and ebay. Often you can get baby clothes for free or for a very low price that have only been worn by one kid and still have lots of wear left! I know cause I just sold off most my baby clothes on ebay, and they sold for really low prices (I just don't want to move them cross-country in march). I would buy a brand new car seat for safety! If you get a second hand crib, be sure that it is in perfect condition and passes all current safety standards. Otherwise, do it frugally and then you can spend your money on a few cute things
For weight gain... it ticks me off to have docs telling women exactly how much they should have gained at a certain point based on averages. An average means some are above and some are below. Some women gain totally steadily at 1lb a week from the very first week, others don't gain a single pound until 20 weeks and then still manage to put on 30+ pounds. You just eat well and take care of yourself and your body will do the rest. At 19 weeks I am now back to my pre-pregnant weight after losing during morning sickness. I am sure I will still manage to gain 30lbs even though I am very overweight. But, my baby will be healthy, so I will be happy
augustmom's Avatar augustmom 06:08 PM 01-17-2006
Hugs mama, take it day by day. you'd be surprised at how little you need, in the beginning especially. Chances are, our babies will be dressed in onsies most of the summer. We really didn't start using the bigger or expensive baby things until DD was around 4 to 5 months.

grace's voice's Avatar grace's voice 08:35 PM 01-17-2006
Originally Posted by augustmom
Hugs mama, take it day by day. you'd be surprised at how little you need, in the beginning especially. Chances are, our babies will be dressed in onsies most of the summer. We really didn't start using the bigger or expensive baby things until DD was around 4 to 5 months.



Plus, we got almost everything we needed (and some stuff we didn't) from a baby shower. We threw it ourselves, only about 12 people showed up out of 80 invites, but it was fun and (though I'm not a big gift demanding person) we did get a lot of the things we needed.

I ordered a sling pattern from elizabethleedesigns.com and made my own sling. I'm not a super sewer, but it was plenty easy.

We co-slept so all we needed was a side rail for the side of the bed dd slept on (MUCH cheaper than a crib!).

CD is bumming me out this time. I had a wee supply last time and had to do laundry 1-3 times a day! I've been looking on ebay, but after shipping it hasn't been any cheaper than ordering it all new from one website. Cottonbabies.com has had everything I needed, and for a decent price.

You don't need a super expensive car seat for it to be safe, the one I'm looking at is around $80.

I was stressing about getting a double stroller and then I realized ~DUH!~ I want the baby in the sling! The stroller can wait, I can still push dd and sling baby at the same time!

But I'm definately stressing too. I haven't even had the money for good belly butter and I have a feeling the itchies will be coming on soon. Of course, I'm getting rather large.

As far as weight gain, I didn't gain much until my 6th month with # 1, then I gained a little, but most of it was in the last 2-3 months (when I totaled 50 pounds!). I didn't realize how little I was eating till I started to chart it and counted my protein. Remember you need at LEAST 80 grams a day! Eat eat eat! As long as you're getting the right nourishment you're body will put on the weight it needs for you to have a healthy baby, the numbers don't really matter.
Selesai's Avatar Selesai 12:35 AM 01-18-2006
Thank you all for your help and reassurance during my time of craziness... you've made a difference in my attitude.
Fanny1460's Avatar Fanny1460 10:25 AM 01-18-2006
All the pp have said it all but just to add another voice.... I've bought all my maternity clothes second-hand on ebay and only a few basics because we'll wear it only for a few months. For the diapers, I've bought pre-folds because they are the cheapest option.
As for the weight, my midwife thinks it's a shame to put so much pressure on how much you should gain or how much you should not gain.... I never weight myself so i don't know how much I was, how much I gained, etc.... I can tell that I've gained because I'm in maternity clothes and that's enough to know. Try to concentrate on eating healthy instead Snacks are great, eat a lot of protein, green leafy vegs....
Good luck to you