Another shower etiquette question - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 03-18-2006, 02:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I read the thread about who should throw a shower. I have another question for you ladies: What do you think of showers for a second baby? My good friend here (didn't know her when DS1 was born) wants to throw a shower for me. I said that I didn't think it was 'done' for second babies. She then said the'd call it a 'welcome baby' party then, lol. How would you feel about it? I think I feel good about that, but I don't want it to look tacky, or like a gift-grab.
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#2 of 14 Old 03-18-2006, 03:35 PM
 
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Not tacky. This baby deserves to be showered with love just as much as a first. If you call it a 'welcome baby' party, and specificially state something like "your presence is a lovely present" then people won't feel obligated to bring a gift, and will if they want to.

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#3 of 14 Old 03-18-2006, 04:05 PM
 
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i agree with Korin - not tacky at all! If you want to have a shower, go for it! My SIL is having baby no. 3 and she's having a shower.

We're not having one because I'm the type of person who gets really uncomfortable being the center of attention and showers just aren't my thing, you know what I mean? like, I love going to them and celebrating with other people ... but for myself, I really was glad when both my wedding and baby showers were over

Plus, well, we have SO much baby stuff ... we mainly just need boy clothes and diapers and I'm finding lots of deals on those. We certainly aren't turning down presents but when people ask us what we need we've been saying "help us fill our freezer with good stuff to eat for after the baby comes" and asking for people to come over and pay some special attention to Boo so she won't feel so left out.

But, anyway, yeah, I totally think that showers for 2nd, 3rd, 7th babies are wonderful ideas!

knit.gifKara~ Rockin' Granola wife to Christopher and mama to J (Nov. '01), M (June '06), L (May '08) and stork-girl.gif (edd 8/3/11)
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#4 of 14 Old 03-18-2006, 06:30 PM
 
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Agreed. I have given blessingways for friends who were having their 5th, their 3rd and their 6th babies ... it's not about the gifts, it's a celebration of life!

if you feel like someone will think you're trolling for gifts, i agree just say something like, "the only gift requested is the gift of your presence" or don't register anywhere and just let folks bring what they want...even if you stated no gifts - some people would still bring them, but then at least no one feels obligated...

WOHM married to SAHD, living the dream w/our: 3 girls (14,12,10) and 3 boys (7,5,3) and tie-breaker due Jan 2014

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#5 of 14 Old 03-18-2006, 10:14 PM
 
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I vote celebrate the new baby! I threw a shower for a cousin of dh's when she was pregnant with her second child. It wasn't a huge party and she didn't need or ask for a lot of things (well, through her dh's interpretation because it was a surprise -- she thought she was coming over to see our new house ), but it was a lot of fun and a great way to get her friends and family together to cheer her on with good birth vibes.

I don't know if anyone's going to throw a shower for us this time -- we *really* don't need anything with our babies only 18 months apart, even if they are different sexes -- but I've let it be known generally that if someone were going to do something, a baby blessing instead of a gifts-themed party would be a cool idea.
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#6 of 14 Old 03-18-2006, 11:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the responses.
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#7 of 14 Old 03-19-2006, 01:55 AM
 
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I think a baby blessing would be fun or a fill the freezer shower or sign up to do something for the new mom shower. I know since Maggie came we have had a grand total of 27 meals delivered (some still in the freezer) and have had help w laundery, cleaned my bathroom, ran errands, took dd1 for a few hours, returned calls for us, I could go on and on. Our normal babysitter sat one afternoon for free (shes 14!) and said she had to do service hours for confirmation so she was helping us out.

I think everyone's needs list is different but it has really come in handy here. It could be as different as mowing the lawn in June after the baby comes but it would help out! I would take that over yet another pink or blue sleeper any day.

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#8 of 14 Old 03-19-2006, 04:50 PM
 
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I think a baby blessing would be fun or a fill the freezer shower or sign up to do something for the new mom shower.

Great idea!! That is what I would want this time around -- help with dinner, caring for DS 1, cleaning, etc! You could just have a sign-up list at your party!

Mama to 3 kids. We live in a yurt!
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#9 of 14 Old 03-19-2006, 07:00 PM
 
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At every blessingway I've given, we do a food train sign up - that way the new family isn't getting 3 meals one night and nothing the next...I don't know how easy a sign up for housecleaning or child care would be...depends on your guest list I think. But if you knew you'd have specific needs like someone to watch dc1 on a certain day at a certain time, you could have sign up sheet for that...otherwise I'd just probably out and out ask my close friends or mom or sisters to clean something specific or watch my older girls at specific times...

WOHM married to SAHD, living the dream w/our: 3 girls (14,12,10) and 3 boys (7,5,3) and tie-breaker due Jan 2014

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#10 of 14 Old 03-20-2006, 02:27 PM
 
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talk to me about a "blessingway."

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We're not having one because I'm the type of person who gets really uncomfortable being the center of attention and showers just arent my thingyou know what I meanlikeI love going to them and celebrating with other people ... but for myselfI really was glad when both my wedding and baby showers were over 
this is SO me, too! a few people have asked me about having a shower, and I am so happy to say, "no thank you." Of course I am grateful...I just felt alittle like a fish out of water at mine But I think something like a blessingway sounds awesome!

  homeschooling, earth loving Mama to 3 crazy, wonderful boys, ages 10 & 7, & 3 mos.,3 spirit babies                                Inch by inch, row by row.  Gonna make this garden grow  
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#11 of 14 Old 03-20-2006, 03:36 PM
 
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A blessing way is acutally a Navajo tradition. Since I'm not native american, I want to have a "birth blessing" with some similar activities. I've hosted several for friends having babies, and it's always a good time. you gather together a few of your close women friends, create a circle, everyone has a blessing for the mother, and the baby. I have usually done a couple of other cool things too. Let me know if you're interested. THis time, my birth blessing will be thrown by one of my coworkers who does a lot of womens circle stuff, and my doula . I have no clue what they will do
I also had a sweet friend throw me a 'fertility blessing'... although it turns out we had male factor IF, and we should have been blessing my hubby : but that was a great evening.

Mamato Ruby Violet joy.gif(6 with autism) and someone 1sttri.gif who should make him/herself known sometime in the next month.

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#12 of 14 Old 03-20-2006, 10:37 PM
 
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I would not think it tacky to be invited to a shower for a 2nd baby. I'd say let her throw the shower, and sit back and enjoy it!
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#13 of 14 Old 03-21-2006, 02:04 PM
 
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I agree that a celebration is appropriate for every birth not just the first. My sisters are planning a "birth celebration" for our new baby. We have decided to do it about a month or so after the baby is born. Have fun!!
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#14 of 14 Old 03-21-2006, 05:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lisap
I agree that a celebration is appropriate for every birth not just the first. My sisters are planning a "birth celebration" for our new baby. We have decided to do it about a month or so after the baby is born. Have fun!!
Now having a birth celebration after ward sounds like a good idea, too ... and I love the idea of a "fill my freezer" party - that's what I want, just w/o the party part

knit.gifKara~ Rockin' Granola wife to Christopher and mama to J (Nov. '01), M (June '06), L (May '08) and stork-girl.gif (edd 8/3/11)
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