First of all, thank you all for your support. It truly mean alot to me.
Secondly, (no real
surprise) my mother discovered the co-sleepers at JC Penny's (Arms Reach, I think) and read up on all that. She wants to buy me a co-sleeper and thinks that co-sleeping is now just totally the bomb. (Yes, she buys things for me when she is wrong so we don't have to "deal with the messiness".
I can't change her and don't want to spend the energy to try.)
I understand why everyone thinks I should leave my mother out of the birth experience. I think I should explain further.
My mom tends to be a narrow-minded child. That's the long and the short of it. She doesn't think of what will hurt others AT ALL, though every percieved insult causes her a great deal of emotional pain. It isn't that she tries to hurt me. I've known that for a long time. She just doesn't get it.
And sadly enough, she is the only person in my life that I could even concievably count on to be there for me. I've spent the past several months re-evaluating friendships and I have attatched myself to too many self-serving and immature people (yes, I am aware of the freudian irony there).
So, I've cut out many people that are unsupportive of me being pregnant or moving to another city (even though it is best for my and my child). The few that I'm still associating with are unreliable to travel the hour from where they live to where I will be having the baby. Yeah, they say they'll try, but the word unreliable comes up again.
I haven't built a secure enough support system in the new city (at work, etc.) to even feel comfortable asking anyone here. The one person I know would be there from this city, I don't want to be there.
So, it's seems to be a rock and a hard place, but I've already spoken to the nurses at the hospital I will be going to, and I am confidant that if the situation becomes a problem, they and my father will make her leave. (My dad is completely emotionally aloof, but he can always be counted on to do what needs to be done.)
Yeah, it's kind of depressing sometimes, but this is the first time in my life where I would rather be strong alone then be drug down by the people around me. I would rather keep my standards then expose my son to "unworthy" role models.
Again, thank you for your support.