Are You Having Any More??? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 30 Old 07-10-2006, 01:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am certain I have been asked this by every person I have seen or heard from since the birth of my baby. Is anyone else hearing this or is it just me? I don't remember anyone ever asking before, why now? Is it because I have a 4 children now? And like I would even be able to answer that question at this point. Just seems like an odd thing to ask someone so newly postpartum. And I truly don't know the answer, although dh would like to respond with a resounding NO.

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#2 of 30 Old 07-10-2006, 02:09 PM
 
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I think everyone is assuming I'll have more since this is my first. Lots of "oh and you can use that for the next one, too" kind of comments. Not something that's on my radar right now though, really.
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#3 of 30 Old 07-10-2006, 02:35 PM
 
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Well, dh originally wanted 6 or 7, then at the end of my pg he was talking vasectomy! Soooo, yeah a few people have asked. This pg was long and unpleasant. I don't ever want to be pg again. Yet, even at the end when I was most miserable I kept catching myself thinking and saying "next time." Am I nuts?!!! : I think so. Benny turned 2 weeks last friday and I suddenly realized he's grown so much since birth... now I need another one!

Seriously though, I don't want more than I can handle and we certainly are not going to have more than we can afford. Sometime down the road, post chiropractic school for dh, we would like to adopt 1 or 2 children, probably hearing impared since they are less likely to get a good home and that is a disability we can fairly easily accommodate.

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#4 of 30 Old 07-10-2006, 03:25 PM
 
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When I've been asked (more often than not by family members : ), I respond with, "As of right now, no ... but I'm not making any decisions for a year." I mean, seriously, let me breathe a little (literally! those last few weeks of extreme big baby inside made breathing a little difficult!), let me *heal*, and let me enjoy my 3 boys now before talking about adding any more to the equation.

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#5 of 30 Old 07-10-2006, 03:35 PM
 
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Put this on the list of $hitty comments when (as I had 3 girls) I told people that this one was a boy:

"So are you naming him The End?" oh yeah, haha! that's a good one!

I find people asking these questions just as bad as the morons that ask when you tell them you're pg "Were you trying?"

Is nothing private or personal any more?!?!?

My answer is always that "it's up to God." Oh my - even if you're an athiest try that answer b/c you wouldn't believe how quickly people shut up when you invoke the name of the Almighty when they ask moronic questions...

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#6 of 30 Old 07-10-2006, 05:20 PM
 
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I've been gettin they comments from family mainly: .

Oh i hate the comments from strangers saying oh how perfect now you have a boy and a girl *rolling eyes* they act like i shouldn't have more because i have a son and daughter.

evil mil asked if we were having more and i said i wasn't sure she at one time made a comment to dh about how we shouldn't have more.


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#7 of 30 Old 07-10-2006, 05:28 PM
 
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I get asked, too. it's annoying as it is no one's business but ours. I really don't think that I want another. I love my children, but there are other things that I want to do some day like possible get my masters degree or go to photography school. Plus I'm 36 and I feel as though I'm getting "up there" though I know I'm still young. I love my family of 4, but you never know what God has in store for you, kwim?

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#8 of 30 Old 07-10-2006, 07:08 PM
 
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I haven't recieved any comments like that.....yet. After I had dd I got tons. It was soo annoying since I went through 32 1/2 hours of labor w/ her, a question like, "When's the next one coming?" was THE LAST thing I wanted to hear. It's funny cuz my dh used to say he wanted alot of kids but after this one he was like, "Um..lets not have anymore kids.....Your labors are too long!" (Elijahs labor was 17 hours 40 min.) I definitely feel content now that I have a boy and girl but I also find myself missing being pg and thinking that I would definitely do it again! But not for at least 3 yrs....or I guess whenever Jah wills.
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#9 of 30 Old 07-11-2006, 01:01 AM
 
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ITA, everyone has been asking me this. Mostly family members, but more distant ones, like grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. It's funny because I can never tell what they "think" I should say, like are they expecting I'm going to say no? I've also had people (strangers) say, "Oh how nice, now you have a boy & a girl and you can be done if you want!" I think that's a weird thing to say... I don't think it's super important to have both sexes, especially...

Anyway, I always just say: MAYBE.

Mama to 3 kids. We live in a yurt!
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#10 of 30 Old 07-11-2006, 02:02 AM
 
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Strangers keep asking me if we are hoping to have a girl for #4 ... first of all, who said I'm having a fourth ... and second of all, what is *wrong* with all boys? I in in love with my boys and honestly am quite fine not having a girl (so don't want to deal with all the girl drama!!! ). To me them saying something like that, especially in front of my boys, really irks me. I would never want my boys to think there is something wrong with them that Mommy needs to *try again* for a girl. : Geesh ... what is wrong with people?!

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#11 of 30 Old 07-11-2006, 08:36 AM
 
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I get asked that but I also get TOLD that I am having more by my ILs. They are convinced that they have control over this. My FIL said he's putting in an order for more.:
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#12 of 30 Old 07-11-2006, 11:17 AM
 
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I haven't been asked yet, I don't think. However, if I am, I'll answer with a very excited: YES!!
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#13 of 30 Old 07-11-2006, 12:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow's mom to be
I get asked that but I also get TOLD that I am having more by my ILs. They are convinced that they have control over this. My FIL said he's putting in an order for more.:
Well if he's going to treat you like a short order kitchen I'd put up a sign that says "we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone."
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#14 of 30 Old 07-11-2006, 12:38 PM
 
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I get a lot of the "Well, I HOPE you are done now" comments, mainly from family. I usually say "Actually, I thought I WAS done after 4, but apparently we suck at planning these things, so who knows!!".

Strangers said that after my fourth, but with number five I get the more "in awe" type statements.

In truth, my DH is planning on getting "snipped". So we are very much done, and I am beyond thrilled.

~C~
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#15 of 30 Old 07-11-2006, 09:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caroline248
I usually say "Actually, I thought I WAS done after 4, but apparently we suck at planning these things, so who knows!!".
Ha ha, that's how I feel. Neither of ours were planned. Loved, of course, but not planned.

Mama to 3 kids. We live in a yurt!
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#16 of 30 Old 07-11-2006, 09:04 PM
 
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Marley was planned...Elijah was a surprise.
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#17 of 30 Old 07-11-2006, 09:12 PM
 
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Yeah, when you have five children (7 pregnancies) and only one was "planned"...I think you can't say one way or the other if you are "done".

I was reading the thread about pregnancies AFTER vasectomies...uhoh.....

~C~
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#18 of 30 Old 07-12-2006, 12:07 AM
 
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We are done done done.

We said before the 24 week prgncy that we would think about it after the baby came. Well then the emergency c section and early delivery, nicu stay etc. The odds are it will happen again and we dont want to put both girls thru that again. MY Dr was telling me during my surgery how I always would have to have a section for now on and I thought- dont worry I am now done.
The neonatoligists were surprised we were done since they think we are great parents. I said no looking for repeat customers.

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#19 of 30 Old 07-13-2006, 10:15 AM
 
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we're done with bio kids. we thought we only wanted one, but after going through a rough birth and having weird feeding issues, we are sure. we'd consider adoption in the future for sure.

oh, i used to use the "it's in god's hands" line when people asked us when we were going to conceive since it took a while and i got really sick of b eing asked. it worked wonders, hehe.
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#20 of 30 Old 07-13-2006, 10:35 PM
 
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I always invoke God's name. Of course, now that I have 10 kids, people ASSUME I'm done. You know what happens when you assume...
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#21 of 30 Old 07-14-2006, 03:14 AM
 
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We're not done for sure...... We're still young so I'm sure we'll have plenty more! We're planning on waiting a couple more years but you know things happen I want a big family but there isn't a certain number I would 'stop' at..... Before I had any kids I wanted 12 so we'll see
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#22 of 30 Old 07-14-2006, 08:37 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BelgianSheepDog
Well if he's going to treat you like a short order kitchen I'd put up a sign that says "we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone."
Oh I like that one!
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#23 of 30 Old 07-18-2006, 11:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I guess misery loves company because I am glad to see it's not just me. The funniest one had to be when we were out after having ds and we heard all the time, "aren't you glad you FINALLY got your boy?" First off, having all girls would have been fine by me (although I love ds and wouldn't trade him for anything) and like I would have been less than a mother if I hadn't give dh a boy???? And what did they mean by finally...I had 3 kids in less than 3 years!

I have to say though that I love it when people (usually older people) say, "look at all those kids...what a beautiful family!" Makes me feel not so freakish after all and it is only 4 kids!

Nichole, mama to 6 blue-eyed babies, LCCE, doula, apprentice mw
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#24 of 30 Old 07-19-2006, 10:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by doulanichole
The funniest one had to be when we were out after having ds and we heard all the time, "aren't you glad you FINALLY got your boy?" First off, having all girls would have been fine by me (although I love ds and wouldn't trade him for anything) and like I would have been less than a mother if I hadn't give dh a boy???? And what did they mean by finally...I had 3 kids in less than 3 years!
Exactly - that's what we're going through right now! Everyone keeps saying, "Oh, now you got your boy so you must be done!" I really hate that word "done" actually - it just kinda sounds cold to me, like bringing new life into the world is equivalent to cooking a chicken or something! I just tell them, "Done?!?! Are you kidding, we're just getting started!" That usually shuts them up!

Seriously though....I can't wait to be pregnant again, I love it! I know I have a while though - I tend to not get my cycle back for at least 12-15 months. That's fine, I'm enjoying my little Andrew right now and I'm not in hurry or anything, I just look forward to experiencing it all over again whenever God blesses us again!

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#25 of 30 Old 07-27-2006, 09:51 PM
 
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We are not done yet...I feel like there is Fiona waiting to join us. I am not sure yet if she is coming by birth or adoption but she is waiting. Every day the feeling is stronger.

Lisa, mom to M : 6/02, R : 6/04, m/c 6/8/05, L 6/06, and E 8/07
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#26 of 30 Old 07-28-2006, 04:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Mearaina
We are not done yet...I feel like there is Fiona waiting to join us. I am not sure yet if she is coming by birth or adoption but she is waiting. Every day the feeling is stronger.

I have felt since my third child that there is another girl coming..I have had two boys since then. But I can see her in my mind..her name is Amelia and she has dark hair.

Since I made the appt for my husbands vasectomy consult yesterday, I am pretty sure she will NOT be coming by birth....

~C~
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#27 of 30 Old 07-28-2006, 05:00 PM
 
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Isn't it weird about having a "feeling" that another child is coming to your family? Or else maybe it's just my baby lust, I can't tell, but already I feel like I'd like to have a third. Not right now, definitely not, but maybe 2-3 years. I feel like it would be a girl... I was right when I guessed both DS and DDs sex before they were born. Had a very strong feeling about it.

Maybe I'm just crazy already thinking about another when Anna is only 6 weeks old! I don't remember feeling this way with my first.

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#28 of 30 Old 07-28-2006, 05:18 PM
 
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I never WANT to be pg or give birth again, but even at the end of this last pg I was saying "next time." I know I'll give birth at least once more, to a boy. His name came to me in a dream a few weeks ago. I saw it wrtten in bold black in the middle of a large piece of white paper... but I can't remember the first name! The middle name was Coen. I looked it up and it doesn't appear to be a real name, I know I've never heard it before. We were planning on naming the next boy Ryan Elmer (dh insists on Elmer after his grandfather, and Ryan is dhs mn) but I think the baby has other plans. My kids have chosen their names, I haven't chosen them, so its no surprise to me. I think we will also adopt 2 children.

Holly, eternally in love partners.gif with Kolby, Raising Juelie Anise (10y), Behnjamin Shen (6y), and Coen Syaoran (4y). Expecting June 2013 2ndtri.gif

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#29 of 30 Old 07-28-2006, 05:59 PM
 
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I wanna say no, but, as we aren't getting the vasectomy just yet and are still doing NFP, it's kind of in G-d's hands I suppose. But I am not feeling being pregnant again--man this last one was rough....

Ange. Mama to boys. Yup. All Boys. All Intact. A bunch of other NFL, crunchy credentials too.
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#30 of 30 Old 07-29-2006, 06:12 PM
 
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no more for us! we would love more but not money wise

Doing what I can to make better choices every day!
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