16 yr old basset hound and poor quality of life, disagreement with DH and extremely stressful - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 38 Old 09-13-2011, 08:35 AM
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I had a similar situation with my husband, although my dog was not nearly as feeble and incapacitated as yours. He was, however, in pain.
It was AWFUL to push to kill the dog that I adored, but I kept at explaining to him why it needed to be done. Finally, I made the appt without his full buy in. I just said, this is what is happening next Friday. He finally accepted it. I think my DH was so attached to the dog that he couldn't consent to that next step. It takes a strong person to do the right thing. 
In hindsight, he is grateful that I went ahead making the appointment. By the way, the vet was so kind, he came to our house, which prevents the trauma of having to move an old, ill dog.
I really think that a kind, peaceful death (euthanasia) is the last part of the promise we make to our animals; to take care of them always.

Mama to my 2 boys
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#32 of 38 Old 09-13-2011, 08:44 AM - Thread Starter
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Thanks for your support everyone!  Last Saturday the 3rd we took him to the vet.  DH called me in on Wed. and said he made the appt.  Then Thurs and Fri our dog was not doing well at all, he was still walking with help to get up, but he was more lethargic again, had stopped eating, and was doing a coughing thing very regularly whereas before it was more random. 


His body was so weak that when the vet gave him the first relaxer shot, it literally started shutting his body down before she even gave him the euthanasia shot.  THAT was a little scary.  :(


Problem now is DH tried to make me promise (before Saturday) that we would get another dog!  I wasn't sure what to say so I paused and said I would have to think about it.  Then he said HE was disturbed that I had to think about it???  Hello?!?  He thinks every boy NEEDS to have a dog and it will teach him responsibility. (we already have a parrot, not exactly the same thing but still)

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#33 of 38 Old 09-13-2011, 09:02 AM
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No new dog for a long time. Don't compromise.
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#34 of 38 Old 09-13-2011, 09:15 AM
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Ophelia, I'm sorry to hear about your old basset, but I am confident that you are comfortable with what happened (even though it took longer than it should).


And now your DH is being selfish again - Grr! A new dog in the household is a FAMILY decision, one that must be agreed upon by everyone. I hate that your DH is not respecting your feelings on this. You are not ready yet - and might not be for a long time.


Lots of boys grow up without dogs, and do just fine. There are about a million other ways to teach a child responsibility.


Hugs to you, my dear.

If the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

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#35 of 38 Old 09-13-2011, 09:21 AM
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The new dog is just a way to fill a hole. DH keeps telling me that when the boys go we're getting another dog. Cow dog and Boy the cat do not need another friend. Use the need time to heal card. I can seem pretty selfish when I really want something. Grief does that.
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#36 of 38 Old 09-13-2011, 10:06 AM
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everyone heals differently and some people are comfortable with another dog right away and others are not. I would tell him you need time to heal and that you can discuss another dog in a few months.

Aspiring Midwife applying to University for fall 2011!
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#37 of 38 Old 09-18-2011, 06:54 AM
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I think it is always good to get another pet after the one you had has died.In this case however I would be reluctant because of how long your dh held out on euthanising your previous dog. He really put the dog and you through the wringer. If  I agreed to the dog it would be dh's responsibility and I mean EVERYTHING having to do with the dog-cleaning,feeding,exercise,vet care,and so on.


I have a friend whose spouse is allowing 2 old dogs to use the entire house as a toilet.Friend now has serve health issues,and it has gotten to the point where she is moving out. Your dh may just come home with a puppy one day whether you agree to it or not.If he does be clear on what you will or will not do and stand firm. Best wishes.

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#38 of 38 Old 09-18-2011, 07:09 AM - Thread Starter
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Thanks!  When the subject comes up again, and I know it will, I will say "when we can agree on quality of life issues and when to euthanize, I will consider it".


mattemma04  I'm sorry for what your friend is going through.  Similar to what happened with me, the dog was using anywhere he was in the house as a toilet, whether or not he could help it (he would even poop on the stairs while trying to go up them).


I can actually put DD 7mo down on the floor now, and she needed it too because she wanted the freedom and is starting to crawl around.  I couldn't do that before, it was just too unsanitary.

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