I have lost a connection with my dog - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 05-09-2005, 03:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
Yin Yang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Beautifull Bellingham,WA
Posts: 2,936
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't even know why I am posting this here. I am sad. And mostly for my dog. We adopted Simon 3 years ago, he has travled across the USA with us, moved from place to place, and was always part of our family. We always loved him so much and always wanted the best for him.
However, I seem to have lost the connection with him. And I hate to say it - I think I don't love him any more. Sometimes I even wish we did not have him. : I know, I know. Please don't flame me for it. I just can't help it!
Ever since my son was born I am not really interested in my dog any more. And he knows it and it affects his behaviour. He is VERY needy and we are mean to him (we don't beat hit him or anything like that) in emotional way.
when we adopted him he was NEVEr socialized. I trained him, spent hours and hours with him in the parks and just having fun with him. He had so many issues and he has changed so much. He is such different dog now. But I can't help it and feel otherwise about him. I hate myself for it and I wish we could go for counselling with him like couples do to fix it. But we can't.
Of couse right at this moment it's before my AF and I hate ALL MALES so it is like hundred times worse, but still..........

Any advise? What should I do?

Thank you for listening
Yin Yang is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 05-09-2005, 03:49 PM
 
willowsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: 76244
Posts: 2,342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Things really changed with my bond with Kona when he "bit" Willow. (long story, wasn't really a bite, etc etc)...

As it stands now...I don't do much with him. I'll play with him when Willow's asleep or if Ken has her...but that googly-eyed adoration I had for him is gone. I treat him with respect and love...he has a good life here. He has shelter, he has eats, he has people to play with....I'm just not one of those people anymore.

I wish I knew what to say...

Jenn - Mom, Photographer, Barista 

willowsmom is offline  
Old 05-09-2005, 04:19 PM
 
Daffodil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Vermont
Posts: 3,578
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)
Just the same thing happened with me and my beloved dog after my daughter was born. I felt terrible about it, and I tried to keep being good to my dog, but it just wasn't the same as before. As my daughter got older, and my hormones got more and more back to normal and I started to feel more like my old self, I gradually started to feel more attached to the dog again. Then, when my daughter was 20 months old, the dog's heart started failing and I had to have her put down, so I'll never know if I would have really loved her again the way I used to. I think maybe I would have come close.

I'm not sure I have any good advice for you. Do you feel any more connected to your dog now than you did a year ago? If so, maybe things will continue to improve. It might help to spend some time alone with the dog, doing things you used to do before the baby. Or maybe encouraging your ds to have fun with the dog, playing fetch or whatever, and seeing the two of them grow fond of each other, would help you feel like the dog was an important part of the family.
Daffodil is offline  
Old 05-09-2005, 04:38 PM
 
famousmockngbrd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: home
Posts: 6,671
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know what you mean, I feel the same way about my cat. She was basically feral when we got her as a 4 month old kitten, had many issues, etc. - we worked hard and won her trust and she and I were very, very close for a long time. We also moved several times across the country together, etc. She won't come near most people still, but with DH and I she'll cuddle on our laps, etc. like a "normal" cat, heh heh - except I don't really want her to anymore. She hides all day when DS is awake, and when he finally goes to sleep she is all over me, meowing incessantly and demanding attention, and I just want to be left alone at that point - I'm touched out. I feel bad for her but I really think things would be better if she'd hang out with us during the day when DS is around. He's very gentle with her, he's nice to other cats in the neighborhood, etc. - he just wants to pat her but she runs away and hides. It's just her nature. I feel bad for her because she's almost 10 years old and her world has changed so much. I want her golden years to be happy and peaceful but it's hard because she's so skittish around DS.

I remember when I was pregnant with DS, someone telling me that if DS was allergic to cats we'd have to get rid of Stella. (I have bad allergies.) I was like, oh no, Stella's part of our family, we could never get rid of her, we'd have to find some other solution. The person was like, you think that now but just you wait, you'll see - you'd do anything for your child. I was irritated by his comments at the time (and still think they were a little insensitive) but he was right. I'd get rid of Stella in a heartbeat now, if DS's health was being compromised. Poor kitty.
famousmockngbrd is offline  
Old 05-09-2005, 05:02 PM
 
Milky Way's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 419
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Spend a few minutes a day with your dog take him on a walk play ball if you have a yard or simply give him a belly rub. Let him lay near you or sit on the floor with him and give him ear scritches while you are reading a book or watching TV. If you don't hae a yard play stuffie in the living room with him if he likes that. I can tell you from experiance those few things can make all the differnce in the world and put a happy face on your dog, there is nothing like a happy dog. I mean how hard is it to spend 10 minutes a day with your dog and not be mean to him as you stated you are, it isn't, you just aren't trying.(or so it appears)
Milky Way is offline  
Old 05-09-2005, 05:07 PM
 
willowsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: 76244
Posts: 2,342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Milky Way
Spend a few minutes a day with your dog take him on a walk play ball if you have a yard or simply give him a belly rub. Let him lay near you or sit on the floor with him and give him ear scritches while you are reading a book or watching TV. If you don't hae a yard play stuffie in the living room with him if he likes that. I can tell you from experiance those few things can make all the differnce in the world and put a happy face on your dog, there is nothing like a happy dog. I mean how hard is it to spend 10 minutes a day with your dog and not be mean to him as you stated you are, it isn't, you just aren't trying.(or so it appears)

Very good ideas... I'll have to do that. He'd enjoy it...and I'm pretty sure I would too.

Jenn - Mom, Photographer, Barista 

willowsmom is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off