2 year old tormenting dog - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 09-21-2005, 09:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We have a 2 year old son- and a 2 year old dog.( SPIDERMAN) We acquired the dog( a beagle mix- very sweet and calm) 2 months ago.
We can not get ds to leave her alone. He is either hitting kicking chasing her- even hitting her with things.
How do we get him to leave her alone! He says spiderman is his best friend- but most of the time- you can find spidey hiding under the bed or dresser- or behind the couch.
She gets enough and barks, growls, nips at him- he cries- says spiderman is not his best friend anymore- and 15 minutes later it goes on all over again!
HELP!
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#2 of 10 Old 09-21-2005, 10:47 PM
 
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You're going to need to instill in him that bothering the dog is very dangerous--so the same type of techniques you would use to keep him away from the stove, to hold your hand in the parking lot.
Constant torment is going to end up pushing this dog to do something she obviously doesn't want to do. It is your job as the adult to protect the dog--and I can tell you that a scared dog under the bed has a very high chance of seriously injuring your child.
Until you can trust him, put up baby gates so that he can't touch Spiderman without your being RIGHT THERE. In turn Spiderman will start to realize that you will always intervene to prevent her from being hurt--this will allow her the patience to control herself if it happens by accident sometime that your son does get carried away without you right on top of it. The dog must trust that you will protect her and will intervene on her behalf--thereby making it unneccessary to take matters into her own hands.
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#3 of 10 Old 09-22-2005, 12:14 AM
 
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Yes, I have to agree with above. When my youngest brother was born, we had a dog that was 6 years old and was *not* use to little kids around messing with him. But, we taught my brother how to treat Dallas, and Dallas now knows that we (the adults) won't let a kid hurt him, and he's pretty mellow. My 2 yr old took a dog biscuit out of his mouth and Dallas never even got angry, just followed him until I saw it, and I gave it back to the dog. Now, my 2 boys have been raised around animals and don't mess with them very much. They know how to pet, etc. My stepson, on the other hand, is pretty rough when he's here, and I just have to seperate him. Good luck, mama!
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#4 of 10 Old 09-22-2005, 01:10 PM
 
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The child is asking to be bit! And when he is, it's not going to be the dogs fault!!!1 :

Not that I believe in spanking, but this may be the time to make him understand that what he is doing to the dog HURTS and is BOTHERSOME!

I would not let him touch the dog AT ALL. And have reaction waiting for him everytime he does.
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#5 of 10 Old 09-22-2005, 02:41 PM
 
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Another thought came to me...make sure you comfort the scared dog during confrontations (when your son is messing with him, and you seperate them). Make sure the dog is comforted and once again feels "safe". This could help reduce the anxiety level, and also show the dog he can trust you...
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#6 of 10 Old 09-22-2005, 02:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by edamommy
I would not let him touch the dog AT ALL. And have reaction waiting for him everytime he does.
From my experience I have to disagree somewhat with this..and I'll tell ya why

I totally know where you are coming from, but I've seen over the years that not allowing the child any contact ends up causing worse issues in the future. The dog is lead to believe by your actions that the child is dangerous. By pack hiarchy it becomes evident to the dog that the child is not part of the pack and that he cannot be trusted. Also, this doesn't help the child learn how to treat the pet kindly.

Now, I do want to be clear though. Your son should not have access to your dog unless you are in touching distance of both child and dog. Guide the childs hand and teach him how to touch gently. When you are not in touching distance of both child and dog, you must ensure that the child can't get to the dog.
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#7 of 10 Old 09-22-2005, 02:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilsishomemade
Another thought came to me...make sure you comfort the scared dog during confrontations (when your son is messing with him, and you seperate them). Make sure the dog is comforted and once again feels "safe". This could help reduce the anxiety level, and also show the dog he can trust you...
Be VERY VERY carefull with this. If the dog is acting anxious or growling NEVER, EVER comfort the dog--dog's do not think like humans and they don't understand the type of comfort that we humans generally provide--instead they see it as praise for their actions. I would estimate that close to 65% of dogs with aggression problems never would have had them without a well meaning owner stepping in to comfort the dog when the dog's behavior is less than desirable.
If you want to comfort the dog, remove him from the situation, let him cool off for a bit and then play with him do some light obedience, that sort of thing. That way he's not getting "Ohhh poor baby, that's ok, you're fine, you're a good dog" In dog language this is praise. While the actions are totally understandable from the dog's point of view, it's not something you want to re-enforce with praise.
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#8 of 10 Old 09-22-2005, 02:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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THank you for your replies.
I do seperate and stop it immediatly- but it just goes on and on.
I tell ds that the dog will bite him and it will hurt- because he is hurting the dog- etc.
And the dog will nip at him- and I say- that is what happens when you hurt dogs.
Thank you for your advice.
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#9 of 10 Old 09-22-2005, 04:58 PM
 
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ok, I second Shannon's advice

Me & DH hug2.gif , adult DD lips.gif & 7 yo DS guitar.gif . 2 GSDs, 6 rescue kitties, 4 birds & a gerbil.
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#10 of 10 Old 09-23-2005, 03:23 PM
 
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Hey there Emily,

We too have a 2.5 yr. old son and 2 dogs around the age of 4. Our dogs, so far, have been very tollerant. They will growl and have nipped once or twice, but for the most part they just try to get away. I do gripe at them when I feel they might be getting a bit too aggressive, but I never punish them over it, I feel they are doing what they feel they can to protect themselves without hurting our little guy. Our little guy on the other hand, I have found the thing that works best for us, is if he is tormenting the dogs I take away the toy he was playing with prior to the tormenting or his favorite toy. I always tell him why I am taking it away, explain that he has to be nice to the dogs and to look for the warning signs that they don't like what he is doing (ie are their tales and ears down, are they growling, are they trying to hide, etc) and make him apologize to the dogs (this is obviosly for his manners and not to console the dogs). I only give the toy back to him when he has done something to deserve it, I don't say "If you do this I'll give you back __", I just observe and when he does something I want to encourage I give it back to him then. I also try to spend some time with just the dogs everyday, like during his nap or after he goes to bed, hoping that cuts down on any jealous tendencies. Anyway, I hope this helps.
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