my dog bit my 19m old son (pics) - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:08 AM
 
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If my dog bit my child like yours did, I would have him put down in a heartbeat! If my husband treatened to divorce me, I would have him put down too! Your dog bit the sh*t out of your kid!!! What is your husbands issue? :
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#62 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:09 AM
 
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YAY for doulajen!!
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#63 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shannon0218
Dominence urination is definitely an aspect of urinating in the house. But, just because you have a dog with dominence issues doesn't mean he's going to have every aspect of the spectrum--KWIM?

To describe, the alpha male or female will urinate on an object that they feel is theirs--if a more dominent dog comes along--they will attempt to replace the original scent with their own--to show they are in charge. Territory is an aspect of dominence aggresion--the act of claiming anything as the dogs own--only the alpha dog is allowed to "own" things and therefore a dog with dominence issues may choose to mark things to show that he is alpha.
I can agree with that. But as I just posted, it can be related to a lack of dominance. When we moved with our husky many years ago, she was too afraid to 'go' outside at the new house, so she kept urinating and defecating in the house. She was very fearful at that time, and very upset about the move. I hadn't had her very long, so she was still quite unsocialized. It was like she just wasn't comfortable enough to potty outside, and it felt safer in the house.

Tis the season, for hot apple cider!
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#64 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:16 AM
 
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Originally Posted by QueenOfThePride
I'm sorry, but you don't know what you are talking about. So they went outside together, came back in, then the dog peed on the couch. This happened a lot? Sounds a LOT more like he was too afraid or uncomfortable to pee outside. Many dogs feel vulnerable when 'pottying' and try to find the most private or comfortable place to go. Was he a shy or fearful dog? Was he scared of other dogs? Perhaps he was too afraid of marking territory and offending other dogs. Dogs do not understand or use punishment.
I don't know what I'm talking about? Whatever. FYI, the dog was NOT uncomfortable peeing outside. My sister had this dog for over ten years, she got him as soon as he was old enough to leave his mama. He peed like this from very early on. He was not shy or fearful. He was conniving & sneaky, though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenOfThePride
How did she discipline him? Physical punishment and shouting? Guaranteed not to work. In fact, counterproductive.
Yep, she beat him with a stick. NO, of course not. She crated him or had her DH take him outside while she cleaned the mess up. Physical punishment & yelling are definitely counterproductive, I agree.


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Originally Posted by QueenOfThePride
Common knowledge, especially when it comes to dogs, is notoriously wrong.
Well, maybe I'm wrong then. However, I think you are wrong, too. I think you are wrong for even considering bringing a dominant aggressive dog back into your house. The next time he bites, your baby may not be so "lucky." I pray I am wrong, but you honestly never know. I am not an expert getting paid $100 an hour, but I do know that in many cases, once a dog bites, he will do it again & again. I assume you won't leave them unattended together, but unfortunately accidents DO happen. I hope your child doesn't pay the price. And I mean that sincerely, not sarcastically at all.
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#65 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't know what would happen if I just took the dog and got him euthanized.

Tis the season, for hot apple cider!
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#66 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:20 AM
 
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It sucks to be in that situation, QOTP. I hope you make the right decision.
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#67 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:22 AM
 
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Do as Shannon suggested, euthanize the dog and lie lie lie to the hubby.

Some ppl don't deserve to be told the truth.
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#68 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I can't lie!

Tis the season, for hot apple cider!
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#69 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:24 AM
 
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Originally Posted by QueenOfThePride
I can't lie!
I CAN!! Tell your husband to call me, I'll pretend to have your dog. I'll even pretend to love it if he wants me to.
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#70 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:25 AM
 
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Well, learn. If you won't do it and tell him, do it and lie to him.

Keeping the dog is irresponsible. Finding a home is possible but risky.

You need to pull it together and protect your son. That dog will bite again.
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#71 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:26 AM
 
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Yay for Joesmom!! Now that's some support.
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#72 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by QueenOfThePride
I don't know what would happen if I just took the dog and got him euthanized.
Well if your husband really loves you and your son, he would get over it. I would not lie about it. I would just tell my husband "hey the dog bit your son, I am not willing to take the risk that next time it will be worse or deadly." You have to protect your son, first and formost. If your husband has a problem with it tell him to find the dog a home or deal with it himself. But don't let that dog back into your home! Oh, just so you know I am a major dog lover, but my children's safety comes first! Jen
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#73 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't feel that lying about something major like this is going to support our rocky marriage.

Tis the season, for hot apple cider!
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#74 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:31 AM
 
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But what would it do to your marriage if, God forbid, you let the dog back in & he really, really hurts your son?? Seems to me if your marriage is rocky, & your husband is threatening to divorce you if you euthanise the animal that BIT HIS SON, that HE is the one with the problem, not you. Ask yourself if you are really better off with someone like that in your life. What would your son think about Daddy putting a dog ahead of his own son? What would he think about YOU condoning it???
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#75 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:34 AM
 
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Yup. If your husband is this unreasonable, how do you think your marriage is gonna survive? What if the dog attacks again?

Look at your child's face. You have an animal behaviourist reccommending euthanasia.

What if your marriage ends anyway, but your child is hurt worse in the meantime? Won't you feel like crap every time you look at his scarred face that you didn't stand up and protect him??
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#76 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:36 AM
 
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If your hubby makes the decisions about this, why is the responsibility for protecting your child not on him? Why is it on you?

His priorities are screwed up, and he is not listening to you. He needs to be dealt with. If lying accomplishes that, so be it.
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#77 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I wonder if he is looking for an excuse to divorce me. This way, he knows I'm gonna put the dog down, I look like the evil dog-hater, and he gets to divorce his evil dog-hating wife. I'm going to ask him straight up if this is his plan tomorrow.

Tis the season, for hot apple cider!
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#78 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:38 AM
 
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That makes sense and I'm glad you're asking him. He seems to be passive agressive like that.

Mom to Dakota (6), Coy, (4), Max, (4), Lily (4), and Auri (June 19th 2010)!
Visit Lily's site at www.caringbridge.org/visit/lilymathis1
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#79 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:39 AM
 
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I'm sorry, QOTP. He doesn't sound like a very good husband.
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#80 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:41 AM
 
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Originally Posted by thismama
I'm sorry, QOTP. He doesn't sound like a very good husband.
Yeah. You know you deserve better, right?

Mom to Dakota (6), Coy, (4), Max, (4), Lily (4), and Auri (June 19th 2010)!
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#81 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 03:06 AM
 
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No matter what happens to the dog. From what I've been reading my concern is with you and your son.

I hope you are able to make the decision with peace in your heart.

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#82 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 05:51 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenOfThePride
I don't know what would happen if I just took the dog and got him euthanized.
Call your husband's bluff. Do you really think he would go through with it? And if he would, is a partner like that worth staying with? Isn't he emailing with some other woman too? So you aren't important and when a stupid dog bites his kid in the face the dog is more important than your marriage? Sounds like euthanizing the dog and getting a divorce is not such a bad deal.

I hope your kid heals up quick (hug)
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#83 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 06:30 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenOfThePride
I wonder if he is looking for an excuse to divorce me. This way, he knows I'm gonna put the dog down, I look like the evil dog-hater, and he gets to divorce his evil dog-hating wife. I'm going to ask him straight up if this is his plan tomorrow.
This man would divorce you because you put his dog down ... the dog that bit his son AND has a history of aggression? Un-freaking-believable! QOTP, your husband isn't passive aggressive, he's a bully. Bullies back down when their bluffs get called. Here's how I envision the conversation:

QOTP: "I will not subject DS to another possible attack from the dog, so I took doggie to the vet today and had him put to sleep. He would not have found a good home and I'm afraid of the life he would have led if he continued to bite."

Husband: "You did what?!? That's it. I'm divorcing you."

QOTP: "That's not what I want, but I will go to any lengths to protect OUR son. And if you continue to threaten me with divorce rather than honestly working on our marriage, try to imagine what the judge is going to think when he hears that you place more value on a biting dangerous dog than you do your own child. Then we'll move on to your "flirtation" with the naked lady..."

You are Queen of the Pride, after all! Go Mama Lion on DH's sorry ass. Your son has a right to expect that degree of protection from you.

wild.gif  kickin' it old school
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#84 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 09:43 AM
 
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Originally Posted by griffin2004
This man would divorce you because you put his dog down ... the dog that bit his son AND has a history of aggression? Un-freaking-believable! QOTP, your husband isn't passive aggressive, he's a bully. Bullies back down when their bluffs get called. Here's how I envision the conversation:

QOTP: "I will not subject DS to another possible attack from the dog, so I took doggie to the vet today and had him put to sleep. He would not have found a good home and I'm afraid of the life he would have led if he continued to bite."

Husband: "You did what?!? That's it. I'm divorcing you."

QOTP: "That's not what I want, but I will go to any lengths to protect OUR son. And if you continue to threaten me with divorce rather than honestly working on our marriage, try to imagine what the judge is going to think when he hears that you place more value on a biting dangerous dog than you do your own child. Then we'll move on to your "flirtation" with the naked lady..."

You are Queen of the Pride, after all! Go Mama Lion on DH's sorry ass. Your son has a right to expect that degree of protection from you.

Way to go, mama

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
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#85 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 09:50 AM
 
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I too would put the dog down rather than risk someone else or my kid getting bit again REGARDLESS, of what dh said. It would be my decision, my kid.

Thank GOD that bite was not worse than it was that child could be facing a few, several or years of reconstructive-type/plastic surgery if bit in the wrong place. I would be done.

:energ y
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#86 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 10:54 AM
 
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You’re in WI right? WI is one of the best states for women to get divorced in! We have alimony here and it is a community property state. It sounds like your marriage is over already. You have many reasons to leave, your husband is talking to another woman, he is verbally abusing you, he loves the dog more than your child and that is only what I know from this post! I would call a lawyer, start the divorce proceedings, put the dog to sleep on the way home, and send my husband packing. Take charge of your life, you will feel much better!!!!!! Your husband only has as much control over you as you allow him to have!!!! I am sure your child can feel the tension in your home. You can do it!!!! It will be hard, but it will get better over time! Trust me when you find yourself again, life will be great! BTDT! Jen
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#87 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 10:56 AM
 
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I know you will make the right choice, you know the dog, you know his temperment and his behavior better than all of us. It's clear you really care about this dog, heck your working to pay his quarintine fee. So whatever you decide to do you have my support. I have placed dogs that have bitten before but it can be harder to place these types of dogs esp with a history. We have one gal right now who looks like she is going to be a permenent kennel dog as her fear based agression over her collar/neck is so bad you cannot touch her there. The director says she will stay at the kennel untill she passes shes 11.5 anyway, shes just unadoptable even with almost a year of working with her. Sometimes you can't save them all. Best of luck whatever you decide.
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#88 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 11:28 AM
 
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I have a friend whose dog took off her son's nose. He had had 3 surgeries the last time I talked to her. Taking skin and cartilege from other part of his body to make him a new nose. And he will never look normal. And he used to be a good looking kid.
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#89 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 12:28 PM
 
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I mentioned this to dh, he said "Wait--isn't she the animal professional in the house?? If this was between us, I wouldn't even consider second guessing your judgement"

I will tell you this and you can pass it on to him. About 4 yrs ago I was dealing with a dog that I found very scary. She'd bitten twice--both times older children who had happened to get out of the way fast enough that the bite was not horrible. The couple had been working with this dog, they'd done everything right, but frankly, this dog had a MAJOR screw loose. When their baby was born, the wife called me in a panic. Baby had been laying on the floor, dog was laying across the room. Mom was sitting on the floor immediately next to baby. Without warning the dog jumped up and lunged for the baby. Mom ended up with 6 stitches from putting herself between the baby and dog and baby had a face covered in dog slobber.
The husband saw all of this--he wanted to work with the dog more. This was a lab x newf, she weighed 121 lbs.
I gave my recomendation once again this dog be put down. I expressed my fears to him. I asked him what he would do if the dog killed his infant--he told me that wouldn't happen.
As a professional, to protect myself I had to send a registered letter stating I had recomended this dog be put down and the reasons why. Also that I suspected that sometime soon this dog would do some real damage--this was so they couldn't try to call me up in court and say "well our trainer was working with us and said everything would be ok".
In the end, the mother actually called the children's aid anonomously and gave them my name and number. I told them I indeed thought thought the dog was a danger to the child--in a far greater way than most dogs are--this is a case of weighing risks, owning any dog is like going out in the car with baby in a carseat--could something happen-yeah, but you've done what you can to reduce the risk. Keeping this dog was like driving on the highway with your baby rolling around on the back seat, this was a very unnecessary risk. The childrens aid came over and met with the husband wife and me, when they left they told the husband that they would be filing a report in their office and another with the police and animal control. They told him if the dog killed a child, they would do their best to ensure first degree murder charges were pressed against him.

I was impressed with the wifes thought to do this--and she was right--her husband was knowingly and willingly endangering his baby.

The dog was put to sleep 2 days later. Fortunately it wasn't 2 days too late.
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#90 of 106 Old 12-20-2005, 02:19 PM
 
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Wow.

There are a lot of different issues going on in this thread, so I hope that the most important one doesn't get lost here.

You absolutely cannot take another chance on this dog.

I would go further than this, and warn about getting any other dog for the time being. I think it's a waste of time trying to pinpoint "blame" for dog bites like these, because we can't ask the dog. Nice, loving, non-aggressive dogs bite too. And the reality is that some people, especially toddlers, send innocent vibes that unfortunately trigger the instinct to bite. It can be as sweet and innocent as gazing into the dog's eyes. There's too much guesswork about how or why it happens, too much to take a chance with.

A friend of mine is a plastic surgeon who sees the same story over and over again, kids with ripped faces and ambivalent parents who still can't quite believe that the sweet dog they love so much is truly that dangerous, and pretend to themselves that it was a fluke, that it couldn't happen again. But it does.

And toddlers seem especially prone to getting attacked in the face.

Another friend's grandchild was unfortunate to have two parents who weren't convinced by the first attack. Their dog was a sweetheart, never aggressive, never the least hint he was dangerous. He'd been in the family for several years, and had always been faithful and gentle with the older children. The parents rationalized the incident, thinking maybe their boy provoked the dog somehow. They were convinced that keeping a better eye on their son was the solution, and not allowing him to play with the dog unsupervised. Their two year old had not been home a full day after spending hours and hours at the hospital getting his face stitched back together, before their dog ripped into his face a second time--this time right before their very eyes. The dog wasn't provoked in the least....he just looked into the boy's face and lunged for him from clear across the room. This poor boy is probably facing permanent disfigurement, and I can't imagine myself as a parent having to live with this kind of guilt.

We really don't completely know why any dog bites. If the dog has bitten before, that's lesson enough.

Linda
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