my dog bit my 19m old son (pics) - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-20-2005, 06:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
QueenOfThePride's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: the frigid north
Posts: 4,530
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't want to hear any more about divorce. None of you are a part of my marriage, and I'm a little bit hurt by your suggestions.

We are going to try to rehome the dog.

Tis the season, for hot apple cider!
QueenOfThePride is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 12-20-2005, 07:15 PM
 
TigerTail's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: I'm finally here!
Posts: 8,660
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
it's not a child, but i adopted a dog from the humane society that i was told was 'good with cats'. it tore my 11 yr old cat apart for fun. (not immediately, only after a few weeks to let down my guard.) i love many dogs (i can't say generalize it; it's like saying i love all old people. but i have loved some dogs as my children. i understand your dh's love for the dog.)

BUT. but. i do not agree that all dogs are capable of biting children, no more than all children would torture animals. if any dog i'd had as a child had so much as snapped or snarled at me it would've been GONE. biting a child is the dog 'unforgivable sin'. imho. my *cats* know better (and walk away when it's getting rougher than they'd prfer- two toddler boys here, not cruel, but VERY lively.)

i can't imagine even considering putting this dog near your kids again, even toothless. and if you let it go there are no guarantees that it will never be around other kids. heck, my neighbor's peke goes for walks every evening & my boys are all over her with love & petting & in her face (she loves it & seeks them out, btw .) they have no children, but children are in the world & part of the world, & there are too damned many dog attacks on children in this world (some fatal) to even take that chance. (not to mention, a whole lot of damned good dogs that would never bite a child, & have hardly any chance at finding a home.)

i am not suggesting a divorce (rather personal!) but it does sound like your dh is reacting out of fear & anguish (i hope.) euthanasia is not the hardest way a biting dog can go- if i caught a dog biting my child in the face it would be lucky indeed to have me take the time & effort to make the appt & spend the $. if you are dead set on not doing it, MAYBE breed rescue is your best bet. but that dog must be kept from kids forever.

sounds like you are making superhuman efforts to keep the dog alive while waiting for tests etc- your dh ought to be thanking you for your time & consideration. i haven't kept up with the nekkid photo saga, but i'm guessing that would bother me a lot less than feeling my dh didn't care about my child getting dogbit.

btw- incidentally, my dh's parents raised lhasas that bit him & his brother constantly when he was growing up, & he is still both terrified of dogs (he's working on his hatred & loathing; he actually got to love our 15 yr old dog that just passed on- btw as touchy & irritable as she was, she would never hurt a baby) & REALLY REALLY ANGRY at his parents for not protecting them (like angry at his circumcision angry- seriously furious.) feeling like they came second fiddle to snapping dogs did not leave my dh with happy thoughts towards dogs OR his parents. ask your dh if he wants to have scarred, rageful children long after the natural life of the dog is over.

good luck with difficult decisions.
TigerTail is offline  
Old 12-20-2005, 07:42 PM
 
burritomama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Aztlan
Posts: 965
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just want to make the point that you are obligated to protect not only your child but ANY child that dog may come in contact with - so - the endeavor to "rehome" should insure that the dog is kept away from children.

As folks have said, there are many issues here BUT I think the one I cited above is a primary one.

The pics of your son's injuries are haunting; I'd hate to think another child could suffer the same way.
burritomama is offline  
Old 12-20-2005, 07:50 PM
 
thismama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Nursing the revolution
Posts: 12,099
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenOfThePride
I don't want to hear any more about divorce. None of you are a part of my marriage, and I'm a little bit hurt by your suggestions.

We are going to try to rehome the dog.
You mentioned that your husband had threatened divorce. I think most people are just trying to encourage you not to feel like this threatening is somehow your "fault" because you won't put down the dog.
thismama is offline  
Old 12-20-2005, 07:58 PM
 
Carolinamidwife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Durham, NC
Posts: 7,557
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
WRT re-homing the dog I would look into whether or not you might be held liable if he were to attack another child. You never know in this crazy litigous society. Just throwing it out there as a support issue, not to be argumentative.

Amy: Certified Professional Midwife and mom to Max (11) and Stella (6).
Carolinamidwife is offline  
Old 12-20-2005, 10:50 PM
 
Dragonfly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: On the Brink
Posts: 6,550
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheena
WRT re-homing the dog I would look into whether or not you might be held liable if he were to attack another child.
I'd be very concerned about this. There's really no way you can ensure that this dog won't come into contact with children. I wouldn't want to chance being held liable for the result.
Dragonfly is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 02:10 AM
 
mamajama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,985
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
"Re-homing" a vicious dog is completely irresponsible. It sounds to me like you need to have a good long think about what type of behaviours you are living with. External bullying and aggressive behaviours seem to be dominating your life right now. What do *your* instincts tell you. Taking everyone elses opinions (including family members) out of the equation. QOTP, you have some really tough decisions to make here. But you can do it. You've got some inner strength, I've seen it here on this thread. I just see it being misdirected at women who actually are taking the time to offer advice to *you* as a woman and mother--the feircest of all humans.
My advice to you is that you have a good long think about what's safest, and healthiest emotionally and physically.
mamajama is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 02:12 AM
 
mamajama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,985
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonfly
I'd be very concerned about this. There's really no way you can ensure that this dog won't come into contact with children. I wouldn't want to chance being held liable for the result.
Morally liable right? Please tell me you mean morally liable.
mamajama is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 02:19 AM
 
shannon0218's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,573
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Morally and legally--that's the reason most rescues won't accept biters--there is just no way to A) ensure the previous owner is telling the truth and B) that the new owners will head any warnings.
Lab Rescue out here was sued successfully for 1.5 million years ago because they rehomed a dog who had nipped a child-the dog's next bite cost a little girl 13 plastic surgeries and an eye.
shannon0218 is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 02:30 AM
 
doulajen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Oahu HI
Posts: 158
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama
You mentioned that your husband had threatened divorce. I think most people are just trying to encourage you not to feel like this threatening is somehow your "fault" because you won't put down the dog.
: I was trying to give you encouragement to stand up for yourself when I suggested that you contact a lawyer. From what you said in your posts your husband was threatening you with divorce for protecting your son, not to mention that you said your marrige was rocky and that he was writing to another woman. If you don't want to have advise given to you, maybe you should be careful about what you post. Sorry that you are upset. I hope that whatever you do, you are happy and your son is safe. Jen
doulajen is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 02:34 AM
 
Dragonfly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: On the Brink
Posts: 6,550
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamajama
Morally liable right? Please tell me you mean morally liable.
The moral liability goes without saying. I'd be concerned about legal liability, too.
Dragonfly is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 02:58 AM
 
NocturnalDaze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Going home!!!
Posts: 810
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenOfThePride
I don't want to hear any more about divorce. None of you are a part of my marriage, and I'm a little bit hurt by your suggestions.

We are going to try to rehome the dog.
I really hope the dog doesn't bite another innocent child. My brother had his ear bit off by a dog when he was going door-to-door selling wreaths for the Boyscouts at Christmas time....
NocturnalDaze is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 03:15 AM
 
kbridi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davidson, NC
Posts: 719
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sorry this happened. I had to put my dog to sleep several months ago because he was too aggressive. I knew he would do something to DS eventually. It wasn't safe for him to be around a baby, and as you said, there was no cure.

We had behaviorists from two universities evaluate him and they both said to put him down. It was so sad and so hard, but looking at you pictures, I know it was the right thing. It know that could have been DS, and I think it would have been much worse.

Good luck to you. I hope you find your dog a good home.
kbridi is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 05:19 PM
 
BrooklynDoula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: NYC
Posts: 4,701
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
There is no good home for a dog who does this. What about the child down the street or the kid going door to door or the grandson of a friend or all the other children who could be hurt by this door in a new home? A dog who snarls or seems aggressive should be placed in a home without kids but a dog who bites through your child's noes needs to be put down. Can you live with another child getting hurt, perhaps even worse than yours because you failed to do the right thing? I could not live with that.

Megan Davidson, Labor & Postpartum Doula, Breastfeeding Counselor, Anthropologist, Mom to August (9) and Clay (4), Partner to Shawn.

BrooklynDoula is offline  
Old 12-22-2005, 03:30 PM
 
Suzannah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,161
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is an awful thread because it hits a little too close to home (just posted about a mouthy Lab). My instinct is to say put the dog down, but thus far I have not walked that walk myself (no broken skin with mine. yet.). The thing that throws me over the edge a bit, and I don't know anything about your situation with your DH, is that your DH would choose ANYTHING over the safety of his children and give you an ultimatum like that (choosing between him and the kids). Regardless of what happened prior, that in and of itself is reprehensible. DP and I are struggling with our dog, certainly, but if that came out of his mouth, I would show him the door, unhesitatingly and with extreme prejudice.

You choose your children EVERY TIME. EVERY TIME.

HoneyFern

The Blog

Never let your schooling interfere with your education. ~Mark Twain~

Suzannah is offline  
Old 12-22-2005, 08:03 PM
 
Peepsqueak's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 794
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had nippy dogs when they were young and I watched them every minute and they had to be separated from my children unless I (just me) was around to monitor their every move. This is hard and demanding, and can be impossible without support from the rest of the family members. Unfortunately there is no turning back for this dog that bit, because it happens once and that is it.

If you can the marriage situation goes far beyond just the dog issues....if you can try to get professional counselling, because it sounds as if your dh is just looking for a way out of his responsibilities. Counselling and prayer usually keeps everything in check and stabilized. It is all in how determined you are to make a marriage work. (I would put the dog down and let him do what he wants.....he will pay anyway.....)

But to the original concern, I would not try to rehome this dog unless you tell the truth about the dog. He bit your child in the face.....a real no no! If someone is willing to take this dog after that....more power to them. Then they will bear whatever responsibility this dog poses to them....and knowingly taking a vicious dog is a big liability.....
Peepsqueak is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off