Uh, is it rude to not immediately acknowledge the dog? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums
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#91 of 119 Old 10-06-2006, 02:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by HelloKitty View Post
When my pets start out ranking my husband I think it's time for me to find a new husband.
I was thinking the same thing, but then again a good spouse is probably harder to find than a good dog, and even not so great spouses have their uses.
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#92 of 119 Old 10-06-2006, 02:26 PM
 
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(if I'm not expecting someone I allow the dogs to answer the door and make like I have zero control of the beasts )
OMG, I have played this game SO many times! Especially when shady looking dudes come to my door *at night* trying to "sell" me something. Suddenly I just have NO control over my dogs and have to hold them back and I just don't know how to stop their barking. :
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#93 of 119 Old 10-06-2006, 03:51 PM
 
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I don't expect my guests to come on in and put on a puppet show for my children but I certainly don't think it's too much to ask to say hello. If someone can't do that then they shouldn't come to a home with children, they are people too. Just like if someone came into my home and ignored my husband - that would be incredibly rude. Why are children different?
They're not. But if your husband licked my crotch when I walked in the door I probably wouldn't come back. Then again.... maybe I would!

Since you brought up that it would be rude to ignore a child in response to the post about ignoring a dog, that my expectations for behavior around ten times lower than my expectations for behavior around a child. And even so, I would not expect a child to lose their minds every time someone came over.
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#94 of 119 Old 10-06-2006, 04:03 PM
 
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I actually think it's a mark of bad training when I come into someone's home and their dog is jumping all over me.
Agreed.

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#95 of 119 Old 10-06-2006, 04:10 PM
 
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Since you brought up that it would be rude to ignore a child in response to the post about ignoring a dog
Not to be nit picky, but again, I didn't. I brought up that it would be rude to ignore a child in response to the post about ignoring a child.

My kids lose there minds whenever someone comes over. Maybe they need to get out more!

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#96 of 119 Old 10-06-2006, 04:19 PM
 
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My dog outranks my dh too! Even if I got a new dh, doggie comes first! lol
You should put that in your wedding vows!
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#97 of 119 Old 10-06-2006, 04:20 PM
 
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Ahh the romance!

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#98 of 119 Old 10-06-2006, 04:44 PM
 
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Once you have kids, the romance is gone. For some of us, not all of us, but you know. So maybe the same is true when you have pets.
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#99 of 119 Old 10-06-2006, 05:41 PM
 
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Nah, I still love my dog after kids
I should say though that not just any dog would come before my dh, Havoc outranks dh, Bedlam....well lets just say if we split up I really hope he takes her
I think years of dating is what did it for me. They say they love dogs, but then a month or 2 in they start wanting to change things. I finally started taking Havoc with me on dates, if the 2 didn't get along, why bother waiting till after dinner
Dh won me over because on our first date (fall fair) I left Havoc with him while I ran to the bathroom, I came out to find he had bought Havoc a bottle of water because Havoc looked thirsty : That was when I knew he was a keeper!
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#100 of 119 Old 10-06-2006, 06:11 PM
 
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When guests come into my house, our young fox terrier goes into her crate. I can't trust her not to jump/lick/nip at guests. She's getting better about relaxing when people come into the house, so it's a long process.
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#101 of 119 Old 10-06-2006, 06:24 PM
 
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I often tried to respect the needs of my guests when it came to my dog. She was very sweet and did little more than just try and stand in the middle of everything, but some people aren't that in to dogs and even that behavior would bother them. I would usually just have her lay down near us. She didn't seem to care if people "greeted" her or not . . . well, that's not true, of course she would love a greeting, but didn't bother anyone if she didn't get one.

Of course, if said person came in carrying food it would be impossible to keep her off of them!
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#102 of 119 Old 10-07-2006, 01:43 PM
 
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Interesting thread!

A problem I have is some of our friends who have kids are reluctant to come to our house for play groups etc because my dog goes beserk and won't stop barking when we have guests.

The barking of course scares little kids who aren't used to a non-stop barking hound. My dog is quite large, loud, and also quite hairy and really is a shedding and discipline nightmare. She is skittish and high energy all the time and doesn't listen.

:
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#103 of 119 Old 10-07-2006, 03:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by hipcoolmama View Post
Interesting thread!

A problem I have is some of our friends who have kids are reluctant to come to our house for play groups etc because my dog goes beserk and won't stop barking when we have guests.

The barking of course scares little kids who aren't used to a non-stop barking hound. My dog is quite large, loud, and also quite hairy and really is a shedding and discipline nightmare. She is skittish and high energy all the time and doesn't listen.

:
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#104 of 119 Old 10-07-2006, 06:46 PM
 
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I actually think it's a mark of bad training when I come into someone's home and their dog is jumping all over me. Especially when they're not doing anything about said dog and expect me to greet the dog happily. As in "oh, yes, I love getting your paws all over me and my clothing. Please keep going." I don't care if they allow their dogs to jump all over them, but it bothers me when they expect me to be OK with it.

I always ignore dogs upon first entering someone's house. If they're jumping or generally in the way, I ignore them until they stop. At which point, I'll greet them. It's automatic with me. I grew up in a house that always had 5 or 6 BIG dogs. No one in my family would come through the door and go greet dogs immedietly. It's second nature to me, now. I think a dog should know it's status in the pack. And it's status is NOT as high as me or any other human in the house. Therefore, any greeting I may do with him/her happens last and only after the dog is calm.

Hey, you arr welcome at anytime in our house

Man, I have not read the whole thread, only about 3 pages, but I wanted to say that I strongly agree with Sailor. I wish all my guests would ignore my dog, but when I tell them to do so they say "it's ok" - I don't ask them to ignore my dog because I think he's bothering them but because I don't want them to aknowledge (sp?) him because then he will automaticly tihnk he is "above" them and will NOT leave the person alone. My dog NEVER jumps, but he comes calmly to the person and waits to be greated. If he is ignored - not even an eye contact - he walks away within a minute and isn't interested any more.Most the time though I will put the dog into basement and ask the person if they are ok with the dog. If they say yes I will let him up.

I have to check out that book somebody mentioned here. I have read The Dog listener by Jan Fennell, but not this one.
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#105 of 119 Old 10-07-2006, 06:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by primjillie View Post
My dog outranks my dh too! Even if I got a new dh, doggie comes first! lol
this is asking for DDDDC be carefull, you might get it!
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#106 of 119 Old 10-07-2006, 08:50 PM
 
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I actually think it's a mark of bad training when I come into someone's home and their dog is jumping all over me. Especially when they're not doing anything about said dog and expect me to greet the dog happily. As in "oh, yes, I love getting your paws all over me and my clothing. Please keep going." I don't care if they allow their dogs to jump all over them, but it bothers me when they expect me to be OK with it.

I always ignore dogs upon first entering someone's house. If they're jumping or generally in the way, I ignore them until they stop. At which point, I'll greet them. It's automatic with me. I grew up in a house that always had 5 or 6 BIG dogs. No one in my family would come through the door and go greet dogs immedietly. It's second nature to me, now. I think a dog should know it's status in the pack. And it's status is NOT as high as me or any other human in the house. Therefore, any greeting I may do with him/her happens last and only after the dog is calm.
I missed this my first read-through. This is exactly what I believe (and didn't say as eloquently).

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#107 of 119 Old 10-08-2006, 03:36 PM
 
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It seems like there needs to be some balance and common sense here. My dog is a big dog, and very well behaved, but he WILL sniff crotch. It is unavoidable. If I see him heading in that direction, I will grab him and bring him closer to me and pet him (ie: redirection). I won't let him sniff someone's crotch, jump on them, or otherwise disrespect them.

That said, I DO allow him to sniff their legs or shoes when they come in and I DO expect them to be courteous to him and not rude. If they are not a dog person, that's fine... just don't be rude. One time I had someone call my dog stupid. He left my home and was never welcome again... see, the dog DOES live here.

So while I won't let my dogs behave in a way that would lead them to believe they are ranked above humans, neither will I allow anyone outside my family to behave in a way that is rude to my family.

Does that make sense?

For those people who are scared of dogs due to previous attacks... I'm sorry. It must be so hard to be in the world and scared of dogs!

I personally am currently on a crusade against all the rude people who let their dogs run off-leash... THAT drives me nuts and is disrespectful to everyone, not to mention dangerous to the dogs. (Sorry, OT!)
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#108 of 119 Old 10-09-2006, 02:14 PM
 
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My pets are more important to me than my dh (although, we're separating so that may not say much) and my pets will always be the second most important thing to me (obviously my children being first).
I'm guilty of paying more attention to the animals at people homes. I work at a Petco and I usually bend down and play with the animals while I'm talking to customers. lol.
I do think that if any sort of pet is badly trained and just jumps and gets crazy because of poor training then the owner should not expect people to be ok with it. If the dog just wants a simple hello and a little bit of love...what's the big deal??

Lindsey- SAHM to Skylar (7-12-01), Leah (10-29-04), id twin boys Addison and Riley (6-17-08, born at 25w4d), and Terran (5-29-11, born at 28 weeks)

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#109 of 119 Old 10-10-2006, 02:41 AM
 
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Originally Posted by HelloKitty View Post
When my pets start out ranking my husband I think it's time for me to find a new husband.
And the flipside for me is that if and when I ever meet a man that is a better all-around creature than my dog, then I'll have to start thinking about getting married. Let's just say I'm not shopping for monogrammed towels just yet...

wild.gif  kickin' it old school
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#110 of 119 Old 10-10-2006, 10:25 AM
 
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One time I had someone call my dog stupid. He left my home and was never welcome again... see, the dog DOES live here.
I see what you mean by rude. Name calling is just very poor manners (and modeling, if your child is around).

It's really not that hard to live in the world being afraid of certain dogs because most owners are very courteous about it. The only time I have a problem is when the dog's people allow their dog to be out of control.
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#111 of 119 Old 10-10-2006, 12:09 PM
 
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If you get to watch the Dog Whisperer- Cesar Milan deals a lot with people who have spoiled rotten dogs who run the house. One of the biggest symptoms is dominating the door and rather than being able to do human business at the entry of the human home (mail, greeting, welcoming, departures) there is this dog dominated crazyville of disobedience.

I don't think that the humans should "have" to do anything to or for the dog in order to get the dog to "allow" them to do their human business. The boss (who is supposed to be a human) should be able to tell the dog- "I have got everything under control." and the dog should respectfuly back off and mind his own business.

I'll tell you what ticks me off... When my dogs are misbehaving around a visitor and I want/need to discipline them because this is the only chance I have an opportunity to see then reacting to that situation... and for example- they want to jump up on the person - and I am livid and the guest human is put out as if *I* am overreacting to this and they insist that "It's OK... I love dogs! He's so happy to see me" and they continue to *encourage* my dog to jump up on them!! and I am thinking- FARM DOGS can not jump on guests!! They will have four muddy feet for the next seven months of winter and when you get here wearing a white ski jacket- or pantyhose- it's hard enough to get to the house without getting mud on you without the help of the dogs- trust me- it's NOT ok. What I feel like doing is an Alpha swat at my human guest and pinning them to the ground growling "my house, my dogs, my rules- no jumping on people period."
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#112 of 119 Old 10-10-2006, 12:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sailor View Post
I always ignore dogs upon first entering someone's house. If they're jumping or generally in the way, I ignore them until they stop. At which point, I'll greet them. It's automatic with me. I grew up in a house that always had 5 or 6 BIG dogs. No one in my family would come through the door and go greet dogs immedietly. It's second nature to me, now. I think a dog should know it's status in the pack. And it's status is NOT as high as me or any other human in the house. Therefore, any greeting I may do with him/her happens last and only after the dog is calm.
That's what Cesar Milan says, I think. Immediately greeting a dog is the same as telling him that his status is higher than yours is.
Our dogs wag and wiggle, but they don't jump, and they really are pretty patient.

I don't usually greet dogs right away. Ours get a "hi" and that's it until I'm in the door and settled.
If someone else's dog is making a big deal, I might give it a pat. I'd save the real petting for later when I was settled.

Becky, partner to Teague, SAHM to Keagan (7yo), Jonah (2yo)
 

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#113 of 119 Old 10-15-2006, 06:37 PM
 
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Thats what we are training our dog to do. He is a hundred pound doberman and I won't allow people to greet him till he calms down and sits. It is working and he is calmer. It is really hard to educate the people though. I call them my furbabies but haven't forgotten they are animals!
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#114 of 119 Old 10-15-2006, 11:19 PM
 
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I am that person. My cats rank as high up as my children. And above dh. He knows this. Some people will : but this has been his understanding since we were friends in high school. I had a tough childhood, was very shy, and had no friends. The only people-things-animals in my life that have been there for me consistently were my cats.

So my cats DO rank higher than any guest in my house. That does not mean that I would allow my guests to be mistreated or expect them to give attention, though. I pick my cats up and put them in my room with some food if there are guests who dislike them.

ITA.... only in my case, it's my dog. I had a co-worker stop by once and comment on how my dog didn't have any manners while dd and I were eating. I was pissed. It's his house as much as ours and if it doesn't bother us then it shouldn't bother someone else. He ranks higher than any guest I will ever have in my house.

Personally, I irritates me if guests do not at least say hi to him. We don't have a lot of company (by choice) but I expect people to say hi to him just as they would dd or I. If I am visiting, I always say hi to dogs that I meet.

Kim, proud CPS mom to Marnie and my 4 legged kids, Jess, Zander, Oliver, Stumpy and Eddie.
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#115 of 119 Old 10-16-2006, 09:01 AM
 
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My ILs refer to their dogs as Dd's uncles! ARRRGH! Its a total insult in my culture and to Dd's real uncles, but they just don't get it and think its cute. It bugs the H*LL out of me!
My Dad calls his dogs my sister and brother. It annoys the hell out of me, and since I dont even like the dogs, I take it as an insult.
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#116 of 119 Old 10-16-2006, 09:08 AM
 
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If you get to watch the Dog Whisperer- Cesar Milan deals a lot with people who have spoiled rotten dogs who run the house. One of the biggest symptoms is dominating the door and rather than being able to do human business at the entry of the human home (mail, greeting, welcoming, departures) there is this dog dominated crazyville of disobedience.

I don't think that the humans should "have" to do anything to or for the dog in order to get the dog to "allow" them to do their human business. The boss (who is supposed to be a human) should be able to tell the dog- "I have got everything under control." and the dog should respectfuly back off and mind his own business.

I'll tell you what ticks me off... When my dogs are misbehaving around a visitor and I want/need to discipline them because this is the only chance I have an opportunity to see then reacting to that situation... and for example- they want to jump up on the person - and I am livid and the guest human is put out as if *I* am overreacting to this and they insist that "It's OK... I love dogs! He's so happy to see me" and they continue to *encourage* my dog to jump up on them!! and I am thinking- FARM DOGS can not jump on guests!! They will have four muddy feet for the next seven months of winter and when you get here wearing a white ski jacket- or pantyhose- it's hard enough to get to the house without getting mud on you without the help of the dogs- trust me- it's NOT ok. What I feel like doing is an Alpha swat at my human guest and pinning them to the ground growling "my house, my dogs, my rules- no jumping on people period."
My Mom is the same way. I use a shock remote collar to train my dogs not to do undesirable behavior, and she learned pretty quickly that I was gonna shock them whethter she encouraged them to do it (ie: jump on the counter, jump on the guests) or not. She would say "Why did you shock him, he was doing what I told him to do!" and my answer would be "because he knows better, and he's gonna get a correction either way, so if you like him as you say you do then you'll stop trying to get him to misbehave." Then she would get all mad at me, when my dog was being perfectly behaved BEFORE she got there and encouraged him to act like a nut! But she's since learned better, and the dog has learned to ignore anything she says, so it's a much better situation than it used to be. But don't you hate it when guests think they reserve the right to sabotoge our training? They don't understand that they'll actually making things harder on our pets, and ultimately on themselves.
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#117 of 119 Old 10-16-2006, 07:54 PM
 
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I actually dislike people who DO "greet" my dogs. When someone comes to the door that I'm expecting, the dogs are placed in down stays in the hallway (if I'm not expecting someone I allow the dogs to answer the door and make like I have zero control of the beasts )
So, my dogs are under command and yeah I hate it when someone comes and goes gushy over the dogs. Once everyone is in and settled the dogs are released and if you want to talk to them then, go for it.
Well, the particular dog I'm thinking off is in the process of recovering from abuse. She gets utterly frantic if there are people by *her* people in *her* home that she can't see. But after a year of fairly lazy, but consistent, work, she'll now rush up and *want* to jump, but will sit *instantly* when commanded. It would be great if she were really under control, but I don't see that happening since my BIL is a trucker and there's always a *huge* fuss when he comes home. (But not a *jumping* fuss any more. ) I daresay a lot of it is also age, this lab is just going on 3 years, so when she was *really* jumpy she was a puppy.

Er, which is to say, if a dog is controlled and isn't coming up to me, I'll ask before interacting. I also don't mess with dogs that are eating.
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#118 of 119 Old 10-18-2006, 10:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sailor
I always ignore dogs upon first entering someone's house. If they're jumping or generally in the way, I ignore them until they stop. At which point, I'll greet them. It's automatic with me. I grew up in a house that always had 5 or 6 BIG dogs. No one in my family would come through the door and go greet dogs immedietly. It's second nature to me, now. I think a dog should know it's status in the pack. And it's status is NOT as high as me or any other human in the house. Therefore, any greeting I may do with him/her happens last and only after the dog is calm.
:

It's just bad training to acknowledge dogs that are behaving rudely.

: : SAHM to : (5/06), : (7/07) Plus : & a few
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#119 of 119 Old 10-18-2006, 10:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sarah View Post
If you get to watch the Dog Whisperer- Cesar Milan deals a lot with people who have spoiled rotten dogs who run the house. One of the biggest symptoms is dominating the door and rather than being able to do human business at the entry of the human home (mail, greeting, welcoming, departures) there is this dog dominated crazyville of disobedience.
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