Uh, is it rude to not immediately acknowledge the dog? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 09:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Let me start by saying that I love dogs, I really do. Always had one growing up, and we plan on getting one soon. But there's something a few of my dog owning friends do which really grates on me, but maybe I'm just being insensitive.

When I go to their house, they answer the door, I come in, hi, hello, hugs, put my bag down, comment on parking/traffic/weather/whatever, and the dog is excited and jumping around my legs. I have two different friends who will interrupt me at this point and say "Um, the dog is trying to say hello to you!" Like they're reprimanding me for not immediately acknowledging the dog when I entered the room. I feel like saying to them "yeah, I'll say hello to the dog when I'm good and ready," but really, who wants to start off a visit with that kind of attitude.

I don't appreciate being told when I need to acknowledge the dog, but again, maybe I'm just being dense about this and it really is just so rude that they can't help but point it out to me.
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#2 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 09:33 PM
 
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It really bothers me when people think their pets are human.
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#3 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 09:34 PM
 
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It really bothers me when people think their pets are human.


yes, it is a huge insult to the pet.
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#4 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 09:40 PM
 
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Oceanbaby I could've written your post. Love dogs, but that drives me nuts too.
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#5 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 09:41 PM
 
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oh, and maybe your friends are actually trying to be polite, and want you to greet the dog so the dog will leave you alone. i always lock my terrors up when people come over or they would get knocked onto the ground.
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#6 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 09:44 PM
 
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My aunt insists that her dog wants me to "give her a hug" when I come over. Her dog is a shedding nightmare so I really do not look forward to visits at my aunt's house. I am an animal lover and I cannot imagine insisting that someone greet my cat or dog. If they choose to, then that's nice, but I would never say something to them about it!

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#7 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 09:48 PM
 
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My parents have two large dogs. Whenever guests came over they first acknowledge the people, so the dogs know they're not bad guys. Then they acknowledge the dog so the dog leaves them alone. We will tell guests to say hi to the dog out of politeness to the guest. If any guest is uncomfortable with the dog we'll happily take the dogs into the other room or put them outside. My guess is that this is what your friend is doing too.

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#8 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 09:50 PM
 
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My BIL's mom tells him that her dog is his brother

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

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#9 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 09:52 PM
 
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It anooys the hell out of me! My mom used to do this all the time. I would come over to visit (with my newborn DS in my arms) and she'd be yelling at me to bend down and say hello to her freakin dog!

The only thing that annoys me more about pets is when you go to someone's house and their dog jumps all over you- and they do nothing about it. I used to have a friend who's GIANT dog would pretty much plow me over every time I walked in the door. She would just sit there, even when I was pregnant! I stopped going over to visit her real quick!

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#10 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 09:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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oh, and maybe your friends are actually trying to be polite, and want you to greet the dog so the dog will leave you alone. i always lock my terrors up when people come over or they would get knocked onto the ground.
I'd say it's impolite to make me responsible for their dog's behavior. And the dog is not then taken from the room after I say hi, so I don't think that's the case.

Celestial - that's the case with one of my friends. Her dog is a huge shedder, and often kind of stinky (I love the dog, but there it is), and I don't always look forward to being forced to pet and love on the dog, especially when the dog is excited and all over me.
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#11 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 09:54 PM
 
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I think usually people tell you to say "hi" to the dogs because that is a signal to them to quit "greeting". Usually once a dog is greeted, it will settle down. I know as an owner of excitable k9s that I get very stressed when my dogs are greeting people and the sooner they pet the pups, the sooner I can relax

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#12 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 09:58 PM
 
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i don't know that it is "making you responsible for the dog's behavior". basic rule of dog world is: dog is excited by visitor, dog greets visitor, ever more enthusiastically, until dog is greeted by visitor.
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#13 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 09:59 PM
 
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We have two dogs, and they do get a little anxious until they are acknowledged by guests. They don't jump, but they kind of hover. As soon as a stranger or guest gives them a cursory pat, they're fine. I am guessing it's a protective thing.

And I hope they don't smell. They do get bathed often. I don't think I would ever tell someone to say hello to my dog. We have a basket of dog cookies and if the dogs seem weird around a guest, sometimes I'll ask the person to give them a cookie. But certainly no one has to pet our dogs.

Conversely, I can't stand the way my in-law's talk to my dogs, esp. when the dogs are minding their own business. I would never snap at someone's pet, unless I was being jumped on or barked at.

Whatever. Take care!

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#14 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 10:01 PM
 
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I have the opposite problem, I tend to spend too much time acknowledging the dogs and ignoring the friend. They have to say "Hello! I'm standing here waiting for you to say hi to me!" Well not really, but they might think it.

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#15 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 10:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I guess I was just not privy to this unwritten rule about visiting a house with dogs. I mean, I wouldn't even interrupt someone and demand that they say hi to my kid who was bouncing up and down. I'd pick them up, or excuse myself and see what I could do for them to help them settle down a bit. I guess as a kid our dogs were always trained to not bother people, whether they just walked in the door or not. They always came over to investigate and check the situation out, but I never remember a time where they were freaking out until the other person pet them. And I have a few other friends, who when their dogs are freaking out upon my arrival, they just tell their dogs to settle down or bring them in the other room.

And just to be clear, these are all dogs that I like. I just always feel a little bit peeved at the order to say hi as soon as I arrive.
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#16 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 10:07 PM
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My dog is also generally anxious until she's greeted... it's like the new person is an unknown coming into her home and possibly threatening her or her people, especially when the intitial meeting is sort of loud. If the person casually greets her by name, she gets the message that her or she has friendly intentions, and calms down.

Not that you're responsible for the dog's feelings, but since my friends know that I adore my dog, they're generally willing to greet my dog because they know her well-being is important to me, and it's really not a difficult task. JUst, "Hi, Nana... aren't you a good girl?" is enough...

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#17 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 10:09 PM
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I usually ignore the inlaws dog. Of course I hate that damn hairball with a passion and have since it bit my DD on the face when she was a little over 18mos old. If there's a dog that jumps on me at another persons house I instinctually raise my knee to the chest (not hard enough to harm the dog but enough to knock the dog down) makes some people mad, but I grew up around shar-pei and sometimes they were jumpy so it's become a conditioned response on my part.
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#18 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 10:09 PM
 
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If someone ignored my kid that was jumping up and down to say hi, that person would no longer be welcome in my home.

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#19 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 10:09 PM
 
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I am NOT a dog person, and if someone's dog is jumping on me and licking me I make it immediately known that I'd like them to control their dog and take it elsewhere. Yuck dog drool.....:Puke:
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#20 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 10:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sharlla View Post
My BIL's mom tells him that her dog is his brother
:
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#21 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 10:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jilian View Post
The only thing that annoys me more about pets is when you go to someone's house and their dog jumps all over you- and they do nothing about it. \

gnkx
oops.
i mean
"this."

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#22 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 10:18 PM
 
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i am with mamag. if you just pet them for a second, they will think you are old news and move on!
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#23 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 10:21 PM
 
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I have the opposite problem, I tend to spend too much time acknowledging the dogs and ignoring the friend. They have to say "Hello! I'm standing here waiting for you to say hi to me!" Well not really, but they might think it.
This is my problem. By the time I'm done saying "whose the cutest doggy ever" even the dog is sick of me .

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#24 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 10:29 PM
 
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I guess I was just not privy to this unwritten rule about visiting a house with dogs.
I had never heard of this rule, either. I would have assumed that acknowledging the dog would tend to encourage jumping, licking, etc., and that the dog would think you want to play.
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#25 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 10:32 PM
 
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SIL has a wonderfully annoying habit of coming in and getting the dogs ALL worked up. They do backflips when she walks in the door, i've asked her over and over to please stop and to ignore the dogs until they settle down. She does it anyways.... then i put them in their kennels or outside before she comes over, she gets upset that I put them away.

It's really aggravating b/c now they think that's how they should act EVERYTIME the doorbell rings.... UGH

I don't believe in rewarding or encouraging unwanted behavior in a dog.

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#26 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 10:33 PM
 
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yes, it is a huge insult to the pet.
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#27 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 10:34 PM
 
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I feel like saying to them "yeah, I'll say hello to the dog when I'm good and ready," but really, who wants to start off a visit with that kind of attitude.

Cesar Milan (dog whisperer) would say you're doing the right thing. by acknowledging the dog when he's spazzing you're reinforcing that behavior.

my reality tv watching came in handy tonight! must tell dh
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#28 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 10:34 PM
 
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If someone ignored my kid that was jumping up and down to say hi, that person would no longer be welcome in my home.
First of all, dogs aren't kids. Though I suspect some dog owners would argue this point.

Second of all, if a child is bouncing off the walls to get my attention, I am highly unlikely to go goo-goo over them. I think excitement mixed with excitement in this situation is a bad combination. If it's a child (human) of course I would say hi automatically but if the child were hanging on my clothes, spinning around my leg, and loudly whining no way no how am I going to reinforce that by starting to play with them.

ETA just read Sepia's post about the dog whisperer, and I am totally LOL about the child-dog comparison. I LOVE Cesar. He is wonderful. He's like the AP version of a dog trainer.
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#29 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 10:36 PM
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If someone ignored my kid that was jumping up and down to say hi, that person would no longer be welcome in my home.
Me too!
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#30 of 119 Old 10-05-2006, 10:56 PM
 
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I'm NOT a dog person but I have a big black lab. He's hyper and will plow down someone at the door. I have resorted to putting a gate up at the steps so he can't get to the door. Gives the visitor time to react, lol. If he gets too wound up he goes in the basement. Dh does not understand this and thinks its funny when the dog gets excited. GUess who the dog listens to? Yup, me. Mom rules the roost. Seriously, I like *my* dog but I don't want to even touch someone else's dog. I HATE dog hair and dog drool even worse. If your dog is wild when I come in I'll back right up out of the house and wait for it to be handled. I don't allow my dog to do that to me or anyone else either. There are a few people who ask for it and I let the dog go after them with full energy. LOL. ILs are one of them. (evil giggle) The meter reader is the other one. (Our meter is in the basement so he lets himself in, which is fine, but always has treats for the dog which gets him wild)

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