Yet another neighbor problem!! - Page 6 - Mothering Forums
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#151 of 162 Old 06-15-2007, 04:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Many areas have programs to assist feral cats. They provide you with the use of a trap, you trap the feral cat and bring it to the local vet who is working with them, that vet neuters the cats and treats it for any infections/ear mites/other simple, obvious problems, then you come and get the cat and release it where you caught it.

If you call your local animal shelter they should be able to tell you if this exists in your area. Even if you haven't heard of it, it may well be there. A simple call will tell you. Just phone them up, tell them you have a feral cat that you do not want to have destroyed but are there any programs to assist with neutering.
It seems he doesn't spray, we haven't noticed that distinct cat urine odor anywhere on her property - I am sure he wouldn't be there anymore if he was spraying things - she has a gazebo and an area by her fishpond with outdoor furniture, he hangs out in those areas and no cat urine smells, he may have been owned at one time but not as a cat that got affection from humans... or maybe someone already did the catch, neuter and release to him...
Grandma volunteered to de-mite him if I provide the stuff... she has felt bad for him too.
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#152 of 162 Old 06-15-2007, 05:23 PM
 
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Ok, then let the cat live with ear mites.

I mean, since TNR is not what you want to do, nor do you want to treat them yourself.

I guess I'm not good at knowing the difference between someone who doesn't want solutions, and someone who does.
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#153 of 162 Old 06-15-2007, 06:55 PM
 
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Well now that the city is involved, they will be coming back to "inspect" I don't want to risk getting fined - that is the last thing we need right now, we have had different problems back to back for the past few months that have really hurt us financially....

Bringing dp over there MAY not be a good idea... it probably depends on his mood at the time... he is feeling pretty negative toward them at this point but maybe if they are home over the weekend I could still talk to them, not sure what could come out of talking, it seems the dialogue would go more like "Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself, and this is my daughter, I HAD 2 cats over here, but they are at my grandma's house now since the city threatened to fine me for having them, I noticed you had cages over there so I am guessing you had issues with my cats, just curious what was the problem? Just a general dislike of cats?" And of course I will totally freeze up when the opportunity is there and it will come out all messed up and disorganized...
I know you are angry and sad right now. I'm just trying to help by giving a different perspective. If you go over being defensive, you're right...there's no point in talking. I personally wouldn't want to have issues with my neighbors. If you talk to them they might realized that these were well loved cats and not strays. They might have been having trouble with other cats and thought it was your cats doing the damage. The thing is you'll never know for sure. You'll just think they are jerks and they'll think you are irresponsible jerk pet owners. It's just sad.
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#154 of 162 Old 06-15-2007, 07:26 PM
 
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Jack, I agree with you.

you'll never know someone's intentions (besides the fabricated ones in your mind) unless you ask, and because they are new neighbors wouldn't it be nice to get to know them. I couldn't live very long with a grudge against someone I have never met but who lives in such close proximity to me.

But, as much as I rub people the wrong way, I hate living with unresolved issues. More times than not, I like to approach the person I am having issues with and attempt to make amends. They can either except it or not, but I like to at least try to resolve conflict.

I'm really shy when it comes to meeting new people and I am famous for creating scenarios that don't exist and then getting worked up about it. It's all about me though and my self-esteem issues. Such as waving at someone and them not waving back. I immediately would assume they were jerks, and not take into consideration that THEY may be shy as well and unwilling or able to make that move to wave back. For some that leaves them vulnerable. I know a wave seems like a small thing, but to some it is not.

Because you are having such issues with your neighbors I think it's in your best interest to introduce yourself, for your OWN peace of mind.
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#155 of 162 Old 06-15-2007, 09:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, then let the cat live with ear mites.

I mean, since TNR is not what you want to do, nor do you want to treat them yourself.

I guess I'm not good at knowing the difference between someone who doesn't want solutions, and someone who does.
UMMMMM did you READ the post before yours? My grandma volunteered to put the ear mite stuff on the other cat..... me being pregnant shouldn't be handling pesticides so she volunteered to put the mite poison in the stray cat's ears... who knows what could be in his paws too, I don't think a pregnant person should be the one to handle random cats that will more then likely be clawing with possible bacteria infected claws...
whatever

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#156 of 162 Old 06-15-2007, 09:32 PM
 
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wow you seem so angry. I am sorry about this. Are there other issues that need to be addressed before addressing the cat issue. I ask this only out of concern for you mama.
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#157 of 162 Old 06-15-2007, 10:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am not really angry but stressed out in general b/c I have had crisis after crisis for what seems to be months now and I am tired of it... among other unrelated issues.
I can't do anything else but take the cats to grandma's now, the city is involved, now I risk getting fines if they see them, from what I was told by another person that has been going through a similar situation, someone can actually call and complain that THEY saw a cat and just on heresay you can be fined.

Eventually I will speak to these people but for now, I just want life to be a little calmer so that I can be a little calmer towards them, til then they can think whatever they choose to think about me
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#158 of 162 Old 06-16-2007, 12:05 AM
 
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That is so understandable. I've not been through what you are experiencing, but know feeling stressed and unable to find happy solutions to the strees and I hate that for you. It makes me physically ill being so sick, and I could not imagine experiencing these things while being pregnant.

Speaking for myself, I think I let my inner animal rights activist overshadow your obvious love for your kitties and for that I apologize. I know this is not an easy situation for you and the decision to remove your cats from your home has got to be a really painful one. Mama, I am, sincerely sorry and just want to offer you hugs and well wishes, and hopes that your life mellowsso you are able to enjoy your pregnancy, your babe and your life in general.

Peace to you mama.
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#159 of 162 Old 06-16-2007, 12:13 AM
 
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I would just like to say something to you. I read your update, adn thought about it a lot on my bike ride today, and I do think the neighbor's actions are over the top and uncalled for. I was giving them the benefit of the doubt before, but they obviously knew the cats belonged to you, because how else did they know who to rat out? What a bad way to come into a neighborhood!! Even if they are completely opposed to outdoor cats, they should have given yo a chance to rectify the situation
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#160 of 162 Old 06-16-2007, 12:26 AM
 
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It seems like this thread is at an end and I just wanted to give you a for losing your kitties. I know being prego is hard enough without all this crap. A lot of people have made a lot of judgments about you and I hope that you realize that's what happens online. Good luck to you and I wish you the best.
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#161 of 162 Old 06-16-2007, 04:18 AM
 
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Oh, this is so not the update I was hoping to hear! I'm so sorry jrayn. I am glad your kitties have a place to go to where they can continue to be happy and you can visit them often. I know you'll miss them, though! I hope things settle down for you soon.

Me , 36 year old RN and future AP mom in training . I am wife to one wonderful husband and "mom" to one great rescue pup :.
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#162 of 162 Old 06-16-2007, 11:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the kind words everyone! They are going to be moving out in a couple hours :
On the plus side they really do like it there a lot, it is really like a nice paradise and there is no risk of traffic at all since it is so far out in the country and her property is large, so I am happy for them.
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