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Managing my parents is harder than managing the dog

478 views 0 replies 1 participant last post by  SevenVeils 
#1 ·


My parents were here for a couple of days, visiting. They didn't stay here, but rather came for a couple of hours at a time, or came and picked us up and we all went out together.

Ulysses is, um, a bit of a handful around strangers, so I put him in his crate upon their arrival each time.

The first time that my parents walked into the house, my dad went up and started to talk soothingly/excitedly and put his fingers in the crate to pet him
You know "oh hi there buddy it's okay!" type thing.

I instantly and reflexively told my dad not to do that, please don't even look at him, I'm trying to train him to be relaxed around people, he gets too excited, problems with public access, service dog hopes, etc etc. My dad thinks that he is a huge dog lover, which he thinks equates to a huge dog expert, and got kind of irritated that I was interfering with his giving MY dog affection (sound familiar to anyone? Like the public problems that I have maybe?).

But he reluctantly complied. Good. After a while, Ulysses started to look really calm and I was thinking that it was almost time to give him a try at being out of the crate with (gasp!) other people in the house


Then I had to leave my dad here alone for a few hours while I took the kids out with my mom. Dog went into the crate when they got here. My dad tried to get me to let him out of the crate while my dad was here alone. Um NO not happening. I explained that he is being trained very intensively right now, and a lot of his training could be undone by inadvertent mistakes that my dad might make... I think I put it differently though, "you might not know what we're training" or something phrased toward myself.

What I didn't say, but was my real concern, was the following picture in my mind:

My dad petting and praising Ulysses for no reason. Ulysses getting increasingly pushy and demanding. My dad praising more in a misguided and ignorant attempt to get Ulysses away from him. Ulysses loving that he can so easily make this happen, and really getting into this cool new game. My dad getting 'stern'- sort of firmly saying "get away now" while still petting and keeping hands all over the dog. Ulysses loving this new twist. Ulysses ending up knocking my dad down or, if this all happened at the couch, sitting on top of my dad slobbering all over him (I'm pretty sure that their weights are almost equal, my dad at 6' and slender and the dog was over 100 lbs 2 months ago at 9 months of age, but a pound of dog weight is like 3 lbs of people weight as far as strength). Or putting the dog outside in the front, gate open. Either way, disaster which would take weeks for me to get the dog back on track from.

My dad then tried to get me to put the dog outside on the back deck (in full sun and over 90 degrees, dark wood stain, fluffy dog). Again, NO jeeze. Regardless of weather, I do not lock my dog outside.

I really tried to think of anything else to do with the dog, since I am sure that my dad could not be prevented from talking to/petting/otherwise engaging the dog in the crate in my absence.

Came home, and after a while I noticed that Ulysses was acting exactly how he does in the crate when it's just a normal day, just us. My dad was out on the deck, and I asked my dog-fearful mom if she minded. She had done the exact right thing the entire time that she was here, just ignore the dog and pretend that he doesn't exist. So I was pretty sure that we had a good chance to introduce to Ulysses the fact that he does not have to leap around or otherwise be excited about every stranger.

I let him out, gave him the release to exit the crate, and he chose to wait inside for a few minutes. Then he calmly came out, came over and sniffed my mom. He jumped up a little, not to jump on her but to try to get a whiff of her breath, for which I corrected him and he then kept all paws on the floor.

He did great until he caught a glimpse of my dad outside on the deck. Then he got excited. Ears perked, tail went up, he was pretty much staring at my dad trying to make him come give attention.


Then he got pushy with my mom and I put him back in the crate.

I'm pretty ticked at my dad. Why can't people respect simple requests? If I was alone at his house and he asked me to please not run the dishwasher or please don't drive his car, I would respect that. Not immediately hop in the car and go for a joyride the second that he left.

Sigh.

I was proud of Ulysses though, he did really well for the most part, and it was his first encounter with strangers in the house. Or strangers that he was calm around
 
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