Anyone else can't stand their pet? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#91 of 106 Old 08-06-2008, 11:44 AM
 
SevenVeils's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Lurking in my Lerkim
Posts: 6,418
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by lunarmagic View Post
spends all day mad at me because he wants his daddy home.
I doubt it. This is how humans think, not how dogs think. He is more likely less responsive to you because you don't know how to handle him.

So you wouldn't have gotten this dog, you would have gotten a different, lower maintenance dog. But you're resentful that you are taking up the slack.

Well, don't take it up. Let your husband walk and groom him. Not your problem.
SevenVeils is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#92 of 106 Old 08-06-2008, 03:53 PM
 
grahamsmom98's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 2,262
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
It sounds like the OP needs some training, as well!

I don't mean that in a nasty way. But, OP, you KNOW that the dog will "steal" (btw, dogs don't steal, they see an opportunity and make the best of it).

So, NEVER make the things your dog likes available to her (unless you are dishing them out to her, on purpose). You're making sandwiches and have to leave the kitchen for a minute or two? TAKE THE DOG WITH YOU! Or, learn to put the food up high where the dog cannot reach it or in the fridge. Put the garbage in an enclosed area which the dog cannot access. If the dog is chewing things, then you need to learn to put them away and out of her reach.

What do you do when the dog does anything you don't like? What is her punishment?
grahamsmom98 is offline  
#93 of 106 Old 08-06-2008, 05:16 PM
 
mean_jeannie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 928
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well I read this whole post and frankly, I'm glad it's here. Just because I got a lot out of it. I don't like my dog, but I care for her very much. And I had kind of forgotten about her in the mix of the new baby, yadda yadda, until I had to come to this pet board to ask for help.

This entire thread has been a very interesting read. Makes me want to go show my dog some actual affection and give her a cookie. After all, she loves me unconditionally all the time, 24/7/365 for eternity, no questions asked, and I only love her when the conditions are right for me. Not fair to her at all.

They're all our dogs and our responsibility and those of us that don't particularly "like" our family dogs will just have to suck it up, or rescue it out.

I'm gonna suck it up, and I think I'll actually remember when I truly did like her and thought she was fun instead of thinking of her like some tired old burden.

:
mean_jeannie is offline  
#94 of 106 Old 08-06-2008, 05:59 PM
 
UptownZoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: In the monkey cage...
Posts: 2,208
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by journeymom View Post
My friend is considering getting a boarder collie. That's one of those super smart, lively dogs, isn't it? I might give her that document. She's got two kids and a busy life, though she is a SAHM, so she does have a little more time to devote to training.
Yipes! Pull out all the stops and talk her out of it unless she's prepared to devote a huge amount of time to her dog. Border collies are extremely intelligent and athletic (since the breed was developed for herding), so they're only happy if they're working hard both physically and mentally.

computergeek2.gif

UptownZoo is offline  
#95 of 106 Old 08-06-2008, 08:19 PM
 
lunarmagic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 151
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by SevenVeils View Post
I doubt it. This is how humans think, not how dogs think. He is more likely less responsive to you because you don't know how to handle him.

So you wouldn't have gotten this dog, you would have gotten a different, lower maintenance dog. But you're resentful that you are taking up the slack.

Well, don't take it up. Let your husband walk and groom him. Not your problem.
Well he's been that responsive to me from day one, when I had no issues with him and really tried for 4 months (tried HARD) to train him, spend time with him... I was the main caretaker - home all day, worked on training commands, took him to the park for long walks, etc. I realize I was anthropomorphising in my phrasing, but he most certainly bonded to hubby, not to me, no matter what I do.

And, that's pretty much what I do. I just don't handle the dog. Unfortunately this makes me feel extremely guilty, since the dog obviously isn't getting enough exercise or attention. But, as of yet, I have not found a way to train the husband. (Plus of course I do get a lot of comments about how wrong it is for me to ignore the situation. Which is why I don't post about the dog much. Too much flack for it. Not on this forum... but other places. I now just keep quiet, generally.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by UptownZoo View Post
Yipes! Pull out all the stops and talk her out of it unless she's prepared to devote a huge amount of time to her dog. Border collies are extremely intelligent and athletic (since the breed was developed for herding), so they're only happy if they're working hard both physically and mentally.
I forgot to respond to that one earlier... absolutely absolutely NOT good for a Border Collie. They are very high needs. I love BCs but did not get one (well, not knowingly) because of how much I know about the breed. They are not content just sitting around. Very smart dog.... which usually translates into a lot of trouble.

Natalie, mama to Katherine (5/22/10), missing Devin (stillborn 3/6/08)
lunarmagic is offline  
#96 of 106 Old 08-06-2008, 08:37 PM
 
journeymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Having a Gilly Water with McGonagall
Posts: 7,417
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by UptownZoo View Post
Yipes! Pull out all the stops and talk her out of it unless she's prepared to devote a huge amount of time to her dog. Border collies are extremely intelligent and athletic (since the breed was developed for herding), so they're only happy if they're working hard both physically and mentally.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lunarmagic View Post
I forgot to respond to that one earlier... absolutely absolutely NOT good for a Border Collie. They are very high needs. I love BCs but did not get one (well, not knowingly) because of how much I know about the breed. They are not content just sitting around. Very smart dog.... which usually translates into a lot of trouble.
Thanks. I thought so. Next time it comes up I'll mention it. Red flags went up when she said that's the breed she's considering. Who knows, maybe she's fully aware of a boarder collie's needs and is able to provide it. But I don't think so.

Someone moved my effing cheese.
journeymom is offline  
#97 of 106 Old 08-07-2008, 01:34 PM
 
North_Of_60's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Beautiful British Columbia
Posts: 7,108
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mean_jeannie View Post
Well I read this whole post and frankly, I'm glad it's here. Just because I got a lot out of it. I don't like my dog, but I care for her very much. And I had kind of forgotten about her in the mix of the new baby, yadda yadda, until I had to come to this pet board to ask for help.

This entire thread has been a very interesting read. Makes me want to go show my dog some actual affection and give her a cookie. After all, she loves me unconditionally all the time, 24/7/365 for eternity, no questions asked, and I only love her when the conditions are right for me. Not fair to her at all.

They're all our dogs and our responsibility and those of us that don't particularly "like" our family dogs will just have to suck it up, or rescue it out.

I'm gonna suck it up, and I think I'll actually remember when I truly did like her and thought she was fun instead of thinking of her like some tired old burden.

:
This resonated with me so much. That's exactly how I felt when I started "getting back into my dogs". It was such a chore at first, but I just had to do it for them, you know?

Frankenstein never scared me. Marsupials do. Because they're FAST.
North_Of_60 is offline  
#98 of 106 Old 08-07-2008, 11:36 PM
 
Al Dente's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: A safe place
Posts: 1,636
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
There is one way to avoid the Lance Armstrong dog, IME. Adopt an elderly dog. THen you may indeed get your desired couch carcass.
Or...adopt a basset! High maintenance dogs are harder to deal with at stressful times--at least to me. I consciously chose a dog that I knew could deal with me being away all day, wouldn't need a lot of exercise (2 walks a day of 20 min. and he's good), and would like lots and lots of love. He's pretty much all I could've ever hoped for, except that he loves to shred paper. But ya know! that's not such a biggie is it?

I wish you lots of luck, sorry you're having a rough time. Excellent suggestions in this thread.
Al Dente is offline  
#99 of 106 Old 08-08-2008, 12:07 PM
 
phatchristy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Controlled chaos...
Posts: 9,037
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm really hoping that the OP isn't so upset and frustrated with her dog or this thread that she's unwilling to try some of what some of the people in this thread are suggesting. I know it takes a large emotional and physical investment, especially when you have several small children around. But you have to almost think about it that way. Especially when things are tough, if you can see that there is the potential for good things, for a happier life for both you and the dog, then it is worth it put the time in.

And, try not to take anything to personally here, all the dog experts are thinking about both your dog and your family's happiness...that's what they're trying to help with.

Perpetually breastfeeding or pregnant ENFP mom to a lot of kids...wife to a midwestern nice guy...living in tropical paradise...pink cats and homebirths rock!

phatchristy is offline  
#100 of 106 Old 08-08-2008, 12:14 PM
 
frog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: where footprints dance in the snow
Posts: 8,526
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
And I would, did I not already have a house full of other people's discarded pets.
That's exactly it. For every one irritated with lack of listening to the OP's posts, the same could be said for the people in here talking about training and whatnot. It's not like those of us who are heartbroken to read stuff like this are just not listening.

We're the people who house and re-train the pets people leave behind when they get bored or irritated because, amazingly enough, the animals act like animals.

:
frog is offline  
#101 of 106 Old 08-21-2008, 02:40 AM
 
*MamaJen*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 5,266
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I love my German Shepherd, but we're going through a rough patch right now. A new baby, we both work full time, serious illness in the extended family -- she's not getting what she needs.
I am finally admitting to myself that I didn't know what I was getting into when I got her. Also, I got unexpectedly pregnant all of two months after I got her. That didn't help. She's about a year and a half old now, still really a puppy. We did some obedience training, but not enough, and she has a slew of bad habits that I know I'm responsible for -- barking, bolting, pulling on the leash, selective deafness. Honestly, she's very sweet but really badly behaved and I know that's my fault. GSDs are such intelligent, strong, attached dogs with so much energy and endurance. Taking her on a walk is like throwing a mop bucket into the grand canyon, in terms of energy. What she really needs is a career. If a rancher told me he wanted to adopt her and train her in herding, I'd totally let her go because I know she'd be so much happier with a job.
I hate admitting that it was a mistake to adopt her. But I think it was. Looking at my life, I just don't see any way of giving her what she needs.
Feel free to flame. I'm flaming myself now.

Jen, journalist, policy wonk, and formerly a proud single mama to my sweet little man Cyrus, born at home Dec. 2007 . Now married to my Incredibly Nice Guy and new mama to baby Arthur.
*MamaJen* is offline  
#102 of 106 Old 08-21-2008, 04:04 AM
 
thekimballs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: NH
Posts: 5,642
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think you're wonderful for looking at the situation and identifying what's not going right.

I have an 11/07 baby and really this last month is when I've been able to really concentrate on the dogs again. It's still difficult but it's better every day.

As I see it, you've got a few things going on.

- No training
- Not enough exercise
- Not enough mental stimulation.

So how can you attack them? Is there ANY possibility that you can get back into a class? If not, are you willing to get a training DVD and work on your own?

Exercise: Can you afford dog daycare even once a week? Do you have paved walking or biking trails anywhere within reach? Because if you do, carting or scootering could be a perfect activity for her.

Mental stimulation--you can do brainwork in the house pretty easily.
thekimballs is offline  
#103 of 106 Old 08-21-2008, 09:57 AM
 
phatchristy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Controlled chaos...
Posts: 9,037
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by *MamaJen* View Post
I am finally admitting to myself that I didn't know what I was getting into when I got her. Also, I got unexpectedly pregnant all of two months after I got her. That didn't help. She's about a year and a half old now, still really a puppy.



There are some awesome people here who really know their stuff about dogs, they can definitely help you.

The good thing is, things do get somewhat easier as the kids get older as you'll have more time to devote to him. The key is, to create a plan of action to make the dog happier and facilitate being easier to train, and that will make your life easier and less stressful in the long run as well.

Perpetually breastfeeding or pregnant ENFP mom to a lot of kids...wife to a midwestern nice guy...living in tropical paradise...pink cats and homebirths rock!

phatchristy is offline  
#104 of 106 Old 08-21-2008, 06:28 PM
 
rhubarbarin's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: outside Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 437
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by thekimballs View Post
No, trust us, we get it. We've all got kids and we've all got huge demands on our time. But it hurts my heart to see people hating their dogs for things that are so ridiculously solvable--at their hearts, in terms of what they need, dogs are very simple creatures; meet those needs and they are generally a joy to live with. And they are living creatures, extremely intelligent living creatures, who are tortured when they cannot live with their pack (their family).

The person who wrote that the answers for dogs are often the same as for toddlers was very correct. The dog is dirty? No duh. You would be too if you never got bathed; bathe the dog! The dog sheds? Switch his diet and GROOM! The dog chews things? He's bored, probably desperately bored. Exercise (this is the huge piece missing from most dogs' lives), provide better toys. The dog is nuts inside the house? It's because he's so desperately overjoyed to be in the house because he's been tortured living outside and alone. Move him inside, get him a crate or a safe room, exercise him.

MDC is all about empowering moms to do better for their families--this is where you've GOT to get empowered to put these relatively easy things into place to make your dog a lovely animal to be with.

It isn't a money thing; it isn't a training thing; it's a respect thing--on both sides. You become the type of owner that makes the dog act in respectful ways--such as not charging through doors, not taking your food or the kids' food, not being obnoxious--and you respect the dog for what he or she is, a climax predator who MUST be inside with his or her pack and whose body was built to go 20 miles a day. Every dog, from pug to poodle, is like owning Lance Armstrong or Laird Hamilton. If you put Lance and Laird in your living room, fed them hamburger helper every meal, and let them walk around your block once a day, pretty soon they would dismantle your living room and build a stairclimber and a treadmill from your drywall and your couch.

That's exactly what dogs do. They wake up every morning with an evolutionary need to travel long distances and work for meat, bone, and blood, but we get furious at them when they build treadmills (eat the couch, dig through the linoleum) and work for their food (open cupboards, steal bread), and we feed them crap and don't give them what they need to stay healthy.

Again, nobody has to be in love with their dog. But what I am reading, over and over, is not that you hate your dog; you hate the static that surrounds a bored and uncared-for dog. You, ANYONE, *can* remove that static; it's not "real" and it's not the normal personality of your dog.
Great post, and so, so true.

My family had similar issues with my older dog when we lived in my parent's house. My mom, dad and two sisters would leave food unattended; she'd eat it. Every day. For 9 years. The humans were angry and yelled at the dog. The dog vomited.
The trash wasn't secure - she'd knock it over and strew it around the house. Every day. For 9 years. The humans were angry and yelled at the dog. The dog vomited.

Now she lives with me - I don't leave food unattended (my animals are fairly respectful of what's mine, but with two dogs and two cats who beg like dogs, I don't take chances), the trash is in a locking can, and she no longer vomits. She's also down 8 pounds from her heaviest weight (and this is a little dog).

There are always solutions if you look for them! It's hard to take the time to work on things like this when you have a busy life, but imagine how improved your life could be if you no longer had to deal with certain day to day frustrations.
rhubarbarin is offline  
#105 of 106 Old 08-21-2008, 08:16 PM
 
*MamaJen*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 5,266
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks, Joanna. That's some good concrete suggestions (though I think if I tried the carting I might not live to see my baby's first birthday).
I really like the idea of doggy daycare. I know that's paying someone else to take care of the problem, but I bet she would love it. And I think I'll just try to commit to doing at least 10 or 20 minutes of training every day.
When I first got her, before I got pregnant, I had this elaborate plan to train her in tracking.
Not too long ago she got into my IL's sheep pen. She didn't attack, she just chased them in a big circle. It could have been really bad, but DP was able to grab her before anything really horrible happened. That's how country dogs get shot. But watching her just fly around the sheep pen, I was struck by a few things -- first off, how blissfully happy she looked, but also how incredibly powerful she was, and how untrained she was. That's a bad combination.

Jen, journalist, policy wonk, and formerly a proud single mama to my sweet little man Cyrus, born at home Dec. 2007 . Now married to my Incredibly Nice Guy and new mama to baby Arthur.
*MamaJen* is offline  
#106 of 106 Old 08-23-2008, 02:16 AM
 
ReadingMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: the South
Posts: 1,524
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When I read the OP, I thought the OP's dog sounded like a misbehaving, but totally normal and lovable lab! (But I'm a lab person...) I have a food stealer too (even sometimes a cheese stick out of my son's hand), but at least she has a conscience and looks suitably guilty afterwards!

Like a previous poster, I had cockatiels for several years. I found them to be wonderful little companions and was only annoyed at our loud, squawking, biting Quaker parrot! (But some people love Quaker antics!)

Like a couple previous posters, we've rescued an elderly dog (anyone remember Mac posts???). And we've found him to be a MUCH higher maintenance dog than our younger dog. But that's because he's a Jack Russell--not because he's 13! (But some people love JRT antics!)

So it's all about perspective. What drives some people nuts is endearing to other people.

Book-lovin', relaxed homeschoolin', dog snugglin' mom of the best kid EVER!  AND...waiting for baby #2, due 5/9/14!  stork-boy.gif

ReadingMama is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off