So I wigged out at the Walmart greeter today... - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 04:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
mytwogirls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Where the corn grows
Posts: 2,335
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
And I feel badly....kinda. My oldest daughter is 2.5 and VERY shy and likes her personal space. She was already upset because she lost her favorite binkie before we left for Walmart. As we were going inside the store she was still wimpering and the greeter, an older gentleman, said "Little girl would you like a sticker?" And she FLIPPED out, screamed, and grabbed my leg and buried her head in my butt (yeah, it was lovely) I smiled and said "No thank you." He insisted on giving my youngest a sticker, which she ate entirely (yes, she LOVES paper.) Anyway, my oldest was still shaky as we were doing the self-check out and all of a sudden she grabbed my legs again and shrieked...yep, the greeter was back. He said "You are still crying? You must be having a bad day. Let me give you a hug." He actually bent down to pry her from me and I stopped him dead in his tracks by yelling "Don't touch her and don't even talk to her. Please leave me alone NOW!" He stood up and said "I was just trying to do my job lady. He walked off and then I had a crowd of people staring at me, two girls screaming because they had never heard their mother yell like that before. : Anyway, I feel terrible for yelling at him, but geez, could he NOT see she was scared to death of him? Sorry, rant over. I just had to get this off my chest.
mytwogirls is offline  
#2 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 04:53 PM
 
ElaynesMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 620
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What a crappy situation. It is definitely not his job to hug small children he does not know. It is his job to greet people as they enter/ say goodbye as they leave. I'm not sure why some adults feel it is ok to hug/touch/invade personal space of children just because they are small. Chances are they wouldn't do the same to an adult. Perhaps you could send and email or something and let Walmart know why you do not find this acceptable.
ElaynesMom is offline  
#3 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 04:56 PM
 
SweetPotato's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 911
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I SO feel you! My dd is 3 and similary shy. The worst is in situations just like you described-- we're out somewhere and she's already upset about somehting, then some strange adult decides that they're going to be the "magical person who makes the little one smile"-- and it ALWAYS goes from bad to worse. Heck, it's bad enough when strangers look at her when she's in a mood, if an old man tried to actually touch her, I think she'd lose a gasket (or tell him off on her own!) It's always hard because I know that these people have good intentions, but it's still frustrating when they can't respect your word, as the child's MOTHER, for heaven's sake, that the kid does NOT like strangers messing with her!
SweetPotato is offline  
#4 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 05:00 PM
 
Live~Laugh~Love's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In my sewing roon
Posts: 4,036
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What a terrible situation hon... WOW, handled well..

Wife, Mama , Daughter, Best Friend, Manicurist.
Live~Laugh~Love is offline  
#5 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 05:03 PM
 
Pumpkin_Pie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Vermont
Posts: 4,689
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
His job is to pry scared, crying children from their parents so he can "hug" them? Sounds like he needs a new job, or a better understanding of his job description. I am pretty sure I would have had the exact same reaction as you. Your poor little one. :

Formerly single Mama to the zaniest boy on the block, born on my birthday on 3/28/07. Soon to be Mama to a new little and can't wait to bfinfant.gif and femalesling.GIF and familybed1.gif again! 
Pumpkin_Pie is offline  
#6 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 05:06 PM
 
Kaitnbugsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,997
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
that is not his job in any means and I would have had choice words with the manager on duty about it post haste. Being old is not an excuse for making up your own job requirements...
Kaitnbugsmom is offline  
#7 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 05:07 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,599
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
I wonder if this particular Walmart greeter has some sort of disability himself that makes it hard for him to read other people's body languge.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#8 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 05:08 PM
 
thatblondegirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: southwestern ON
Posts: 760
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
yup, i would have FREAKED out. do NOT touch my kid, especially if he's screaming bloody murder. awful.
thatblondegirl is offline  
#9 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 05:08 PM
 
Amam mam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 13
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
: I love your post.You just made my day. Don't worry too much about what happened I 'm sure you'll be laughing about it a week later it's still too fresh I guess. On the other side this walmart person seems pretty queer. Who keeps on approaching somebody who does want to be near you, in general? I think it's the first and right defensive instinct against an offense.
thanks for sharing
Amam mam is offline  
#10 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 05:10 PM
 
amnda527's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: cleveland, ohio
Posts: 1,075
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yikes! Yea, it isn't his job to walk over to the self checkout period! They stay at the door! At my walmart, the walk from the door to the self checkout is a good distance. Weird. I wouldn't feel bad for letting him know loud and clear to not touch you kid. If you were polite about it he wouldn't have been scared away and your daughter would never have been able to go to walmart again without a complete meltdown!
amnda527 is offline  
#11 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 05:15 PM
 
EnviroBecca's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 5,192
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 13 Post(s)
: I'm with you! Call the store manager and ask him to tell his greeters that hugging is not part of their job.

The only thing to (maybe) feel bad about is the harshness of your response to a man who WAS trying to be kind. Maybe you could have stepped between him and your child and said firmly, "I'm not sure why, but she is afraid of you. Please leave her alone." But I totally understand why you reacted the way you did!!

Mama to a boy EnviroKid treehugger.gif 9 years old and a new little girl EnviroBaby baby.gif!

I write about parenting, environment, cooking, and more. computergeek2.gif

EnviroBecca is online now  
#12 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 07:33 PM
Xoe
 
Xoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 512
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
I wonder if this particular Walmart greeter has some sort of disability himself that makes it hard for him to read other people's body languge.
yup....if I remember, some of the greeters at my local walmart appear to have some disabilities...possibly mental or cognitive. they are always nice, but perhaps don't have the same "stops" that respect boundaries as everyone might like.

xoe
Xoe is offline  
#13 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 08:58 PM
 
lolar2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 6,579
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
I wonder if this particular Walmart greeter has some sort of disability himself that makes it hard for him to read other people's body languge.
That was my thought-- but if so, the boss should have made it clear that you do NOT hug customers! Ever!
lolar2 is offline  
#14 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 09:41 PM
 
MaterPrimaePuellae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,542
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xoe View Post
yup....if I remember, some of the greeters at my local walmart appear to have some disabilities...possibly mental or cognitive. they are always nice, but perhaps don't have the same "stops" that respect boundaries as everyone might like.

xoe
Yes, I have seen this, too. My fav. grocery store employs people with disabilites as some of the baggers who take the groceries out and load them into the car. I saw X three years ago pushing a cart with groceries and a small child inside (mother walking nearby); she, the cart, and the child were involved in a collision with a moving car. It was VERY scary. No one was hurt, but I decided right then that X (and, really, any other person) would not be pushing a cart with my children inside it. I have REALLY offended her, unfortunately, just by saying, "No thanks! I'll do it myself!" She walks away when I end up in her line. It's *great* that the stores employ them, and I am happy to put up with some bruised apples, but I really think there should be a policy about pushing carts with children inside (and prob. against stranger WalMart greeters having physical contact with children. ick.)


To the OP, I think you did the right thing, definitely. I hope if I am ever in a situation like that that I take up for my DC in the same way!

ETA-- if he was just a sweet, possible disabled old man, it would seem more likely that he would be hurt by the yelling, not respond "just doing my job lady," iykwim.

Aspiring to 1 Thessalonians 4:11.Wife to Dh, 2004. Mother to DD 3/07.
So thankful for our healthy baby boy, born Easter morning, 2010!
MaterPrimaePuellae is offline  
#15 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 09:57 PM
 
kriket's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: SW Ohio
Posts: 4,785
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
hum :

Why would he hassle your kid as they are checking out? Hes a greeter, isn't that on the way in?

I really can't stand walmart. I don't know how you ladies shop there.

I'm crunchy... Like a Dorito.
Mama to Sprout jog.gif 4.09 and Bruises babyboy.gif 7.11 handfasted to superhero.gif 9.07

kriket is offline  
#16 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 10:32 PM
 
nikkiethridge's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 407
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That is just creeeepy. Ughhghghg.
nikkiethridge is offline  
#17 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 10:38 PM
 
Mokhwrar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Colorado, U.S.A.
Posts: 26
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Aw, don't feel bad. I wouldn't have let him hug my kid either.
Mokhwrar is offline  
#18 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 11:02 PM
 
*Erin*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: in a magnolia tree
Posts: 2,489
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
don't feel bad-you were defending your child's personal space! i wouldve done the same thing!
i don't know about your WM, but the mgmt at mine is ok-i actually had an issue once about a very creepy check out guy that kept trying to touch dd, and the manager was all over herself trying to help me-she was a mother, too, and was very disturbed by what had happened-i felt like she handled my complaint well, and i never saw that guy again.

Erin, 33, salty southern mama, sitting by the sea with my DH35, DD10, DS4, &DD2!
*Erin* is offline  
#19 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 11:34 PM
 
2cutiekitties's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Georgia baby
Posts: 1,182
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by kriket View Post

I really can't stand walmart. I don't know how you ladies shop there.
I hope the ones who shop there aren't also complaining about plastic and china, etc. No judgement, I just don't get it. :

but I agree with calling and complaining!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2cutiekitties is offline  
#20 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 11:38 PM
 
Lula's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Roswell, GA
Posts: 4,579
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Your poor dd! I have to deal with this all the time, too. My son is really terrified of people he doesn't know, and if they look at him, let alone talk to him, he really freaks out.

I spend a good deal of time defending him from well-meaning strangers. Sometimes they don't get it and really, really go too far! Yesterday we were at Kroger and the bagger wanted to give him some stickers. He won't take anything from a stranger, and he really dislikes stickers anyway. So at first he was hiding behind my legs, and she just wouldn't stop offering them to him! He was so upset that he made a break for it to get away from her, and then she actually chased him around in a circle trying to give him the stickers! He was panicking as I'm saying firmly "No thank you, no, he doesn't want them, PLEASE, NO..."

She finally looked up at me and the lightbulb came on when she saw me shaking my head. I suspect that she didn't speak English and didn't understand my refusal of the stickers. But geeze. Anyone should understand the body language of a frightened child.

~*Kristi*~
Tallulah Dare 8-01,  Marcos Gael 12-04, Cormac Mateo 9-09, Leonidas Ronan 11-11

Lula's Mom is offline  
#21 of 181 Old 11-20-2008, 11:39 PM
 
MOMYS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 744
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Your poor little girl! I think your instincts just took over. He is probably from a generation where not much thought is given to a child's whole being AND he probably deals with some parents who would think what he did was okay.... you know those parents who force their children to sit on Santa's lap for the photo, despite the fact that the poor child is petrified and crying!

I think I would have probably reacted in exactly the same way!
MOMYS is offline  
#22 of 181 Old 11-21-2008, 12:56 AM
 
Purple Cat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 466
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would have went for his jugular vein if he tried to hug my screaming, frightened child. Then, I would have felt embarrassed, too, as everyone looked on. I'm trying to say I totally understand and validate the instinct to protect. I think its important for my children to see that I stand up for them and protect them in situations where others try to do things to them that I don't feel are appropriate. With that said, I would also then calm down and be talking to various Walmart managers about appropriate behavior and the need to educate greeters.
Purple Cat is offline  
#23 of 181 Old 11-21-2008, 03:36 AM
 
Shami's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Fairborn, Ohio
Posts: 1,270
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Perfect modeling for your kids. Now they know how to act if anyone tries to hug or touch them inappropriately, disability or no disability...it doesn't matter. Don't feel bad about not being polite.

DH, and Me plus baby girl (10/07)
Shami is offline  
#24 of 181 Old 11-21-2008, 11:02 AM
 
Phoenix~Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Lehigh Valley, PA
Posts: 5,306
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Didn't read responses...

Go you Mama! I likely would have flipped on him too. That is just creepy having a total stranger tyring to hug your kids.

ribbonpurple.gif  Proud Single Mama, Birth & Postpartum Doula

Student, Aspiring CNM 
treehugger.gif  DD ~ 1/7/09   shamrocksmile.gif  DS ~ 9/22/10

Phoenix~Mama is offline  
#25 of 181 Old 11-21-2008, 11:48 AM
 
laohaire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 7,314
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Your reaction was spot-on, and you don't have to feel bad, but feel REALLY GOOD knowing that you have what it takes to protect your kids even if it doesn't feel "civilized."

You're responsible for your kids, not the greeter's feelings. Even if the greeter had a disability that led to this interaction, it doesn't make what he did right. It doesn't matter if people think they are doing good, if they are not, you have a right to draw the line.

Sanford Strong (LA police officer who does safety seminars) says: "My safety first, your feelings second." That obviously extends to your kids' safety too.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

laohaire is offline  
#26 of 181 Old 11-21-2008, 11:55 AM
 
LavenderMae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: where I write my own posts!
Posts: 13,477
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by laohaire View Post
Sanford Strong (LA police officer who does safety seminars) says: "My safety first, your feelings second." That obviously extends to your kids' safety too.
Exactly, that's great advice!

Op, don't feel guilty you didn't do anything wrong. Forcing 'affection' on anyone is wrong and we all have the right to say "no".

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
LavenderMae is offline  
#27 of 181 Old 11-21-2008, 11:58 AM
 
ellemnop's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 317
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
He tried to HUG your daughter? NOT HIS JOB, not his job at all. I wouldn't feel badly at all for the way that you reacted, Mama... I'd hav ebeen freaking out. Then again I don't like people to even touch DD.

Take care,
El
ellemnop is offline  
#28 of 181 Old 11-21-2008, 03:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
mytwogirls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Where the corn grows
Posts: 2,335
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Update: I called Walmart and after being transferred four times (yes FOUR times) I spoke with a management team member and told her my story. I remembered his name so that helped a lot and she did not seem surprised at all by the comments I made, which leads me to believe he has done this kind of thing before. He appeared NOT to be mentally or physically disabled, but as an RN I know looks can be deceiving. I made it clear I was not out to get the man fired but I wanted him to know what his boundaries are. She assured me she would "look into it" and get back to me. I also got her name and extension number and will call back in a couple days. I will not be shopping there again.
mytwogirls is offline  
#29 of 181 Old 11-22-2008, 12:09 PM
 
phoolove's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 135
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I shop at Wal-Mart sometimes, but I am still conscious of Issues with China and Plastic.

I always drive my car sometimes even though I have issues with the war in Iraq, and the mass consumption of fossil fuels.

I probably do lots of things that people don't or can't understand.

None of this however has anything to do with the greeter at Wal-Mart, although I am sorry that it happened.
phoolove is offline  
#30 of 181 Old 11-22-2008, 10:42 PM
 
Zach'smom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Rockin' the suburbs...
Posts: 1,141
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Don't feel guilty for your reaction Mama. You did the right thing. Strangers are not allowed to hug my dc under any circumstance!! Strangers are not allowed to touch my child!!! That man sounds creepy!!!

Mom to Zach eat.gif , 2 cat.gif, 1dog2.gif, and a whole lot of goldfish.gif!!!! 
Zach'smom is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off