Parents of Overweight Children Support Thread - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-08-2008, 01:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OK, here it is! I would like this to be a safe place for parents of overweight children to talk about all of the issues that arise in our parenting. I'll bbl with my thoughts

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Old 12-08-2008, 02:50 PM
 
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Does it have to be overweight children how about just parents dealing with health and wellness sourounding food? Weather its ourselfs or our kids? I have a normal weight DD a DH who is not thin but deffiently within healthy weight then me who has been struggling to loose weight for a few years now. I still stuggle with getting decent food into my DD though while shes is not a junk food eatter at all there is still little she will eat no matter how often its presented as her only choice. I get tired of hearing things like she will eat if its her only choice or the assumption that picky means she'll only eat pizza and chips. I struggle with my weight as well but I alos follow a low carb low calorie low fat and get plenty of excerise a day. I'm very aware of my intake as a diabetic as I keep detailed journels ect. Yet I struggle maintaining a decent weight. Its hard finding the right things to feed everyone that meets everyones needs on a shoe string budget.

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Old 12-08-2008, 02:51 PM
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I'm in
I have been told and had comments made to me that Dd is overweight. She's almost 4 and weights 46lbs or so and is 45 inches tall.
She does have a little bit of a tummy, wears 5T clothes and is tall. Of course it doesn't help that I'm 4' 11" so next to me she looks huge
This is us in October. http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f2...USA2008016.jpg

She's adopted so genetics we are unsure of.
I got the same grief of my Ds#2. He's now 14 and 5' 10" 190lbs, he is a spitting image of his Dad build and everything. SO I know he'll be over 6 feet and he seems to be slimming out as he gets taller.
I get sick of the looks, KWIM, I hand Dd anything to eat (at the pool or park) and you'd think I was giving her arsnic. She's a good healthy eater, water, one milk and 4oz juice watered down each day. Loves Chicken, broccoli, carrots, salad. Also likes rice and chicken nuggets, but it's not something I give her daily. People are very judge mental
Oldest Ds eats like a horse, Junk too, he's in college, no sodas though. He's nearly 6 feet and 140lbs looks like a skeleton, so what we eat isn't doing this.
Frustrating.
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Old 12-08-2008, 03:03 PM
 
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also what do we consider "overweight" my DD is 6 years 1 month old she is around 46 inches tall and weighs about 44lbs as well. She is in six 6 clothes for height but all her clothes are VERY loose in the waist even though we buy slims. I don't consdier her over weight at all but reading the "other post" it would seem many would say she is??
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...020-8A_010.jpg
FWIW I plugged her stats into an online ldeal body weight site and this is what it said..
A 6 year and 1 months old (female) child who is 44 pounds and is 3 feet and 10.25 inches tall has a body mass index of 14.5, which is at the 28th percentile, and would indicate that your child is at a healthy weight.

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Old 12-08-2008, 04:11 PM
 
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Old 12-08-2008, 04:20 PM
 
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Well, I don't know if DD is heavy but she is perceived as so, kwim?She is off the chart for height and weight and has gut (we call it the Buddha Belly and have a song that we sing). And I have my own issues from being a chunky kid and heavy adult (until science finally caught up with me and explained how my metabolism works) so I have to be careful not to project my issues onto her.

Anyway, DD eats primarily fruit, veggies, yogurt, cheese,and protein. Very few empty carbs. She doesn't like bread. Sometimes eats pasta. And that's it. I want to switch her to kefir yogurt but it's not available in my area.

Mostly I tell myself this is her growth curve and I need to reserve judgment about her weight until she's a teenager.

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Old 12-08-2008, 04:25 PM
 
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I don't have an overweight kid, but I've struggled with my weight. Sending mojo to you folks...I was disgusted by the judgemental behavior in the other thread. People think it's OK to shame fat people, and to expect fat people to explain themselves to others. It's a wrong attitude, that's bolstered by people making the incorrect assumption that being thin means that you're healthy.

So rock on, people. And be comfortable with yourselves and your kids.

Dad to DD 9/2008
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Old 12-08-2008, 05:07 PM
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I plugged Dd's stats into Peds .com calculator.
I had her weight wrong I went to look it up from her doctor visit last month.
The site said this.
A 3 year and 11 months old (female) child who is 44 pounds and is 3 feet and 9 inches tall has a body mass index of 15.3, which is at the 49th percentile, and would indicate that your child is at a healthy weight. :

So now when I go in WIC this month if they say anything I'll tell them to check the stats she's not overweight. I've been worrying for nothing, but will probably still get comments, she has a round face and little bump of a chin so always looks pudgy. I'll definatly stick to the more healthy diet anyway as I think she has a tendancy to over do it with junk.

So how do you act when people give you those looks, when you hand the child a piece of food when you are socializing?
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Old 12-08-2008, 05:08 PM
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Old 12-08-2008, 05:36 PM
 
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So how do you act when people give you those looks, when you hand the child a piece of food when you are socializing?
Don't deal with it with my daughter but with myself. Again I'm diabetic I take insulin and follow a low carb diet. Sometimes for various reasons our family ends up eatting out and because of time and budget its often "fastfood" so like last Saturday when we stopped by in and out burger for dinner after Church. I order a cheese burger "protein style" and a diet soda and sneek like 5 fries from my DH basket.. Yet I the 155lb (idea weight like 140s) one is the one everyone stares at. Not my DH with his double meat burger coke and milkshake.. then of course if I put more than a few fries on DD plate or allow her to put juice in her drink ect then its like I'm giving her bad eatting habbits. I just try to ingnore it and I do talk to my DD alot about what healthy means.

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Old 12-08-2008, 06:13 PM
 
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We've been trying to follow Ellyn Satter's methods from Your Child's Weight: Helping Without Harming for over a year now.
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Old 12-08-2008, 06:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OK, I'll retell a bit about us, since some will come who didn't read it elsewhere .

I am a normal weight woman, with a normal weight husband (who used to be too thin), a *very* thin daughter(age 8), a perfectly average/normal son(age 7), an overweight son(almost 5), and a baby who I believe will be average or thin.

My overweight son was "overweight" even as an exclusively breastfed infant. He never went through that stage that my others have, between 1.5-2.5 where they are too busy to eat and lose the baby fat. My son is always hungry, and almost never (or never, not sure) feels full. Oh- he is 60 pounds. he is very tall for his age, but the height weight curve is still "off" and he is heavier than he is tall. He is also stinkin' adorable, and- a boy. So- I don't get much slack at all about his weight( I have friends with daughters who get a lot more criticism than I do). Our pediatricians never thought there was a problem, and we currently use a Family Practice Dr. who basically says that since all of the kids eat the same way/ get the same amount of exercise, and dh and I are thin, it must be a bad roll of the genetic dice, and that he (the Dr.) is not at all worried about DS's weight.

I have wonderfully supportive friends and family, and other than my mom (and dh) constantly get comments that "he seems to be thinning down" and "he'll just be a linebacker!". He is not thinning down though, and he has a tiny stretch mark on his belly. My mom and DH share my concerns for his health and future.

Over the past year, I have started to do portion control (I didn't believe in it before, I thought it was disrespectful and would set up bad habits to control even healthy foods), but the weight issue has remained the same (not that I want him to lose weight, just to stop gaining too much, ykwim?)

I guess I was hoping this thread could be a place where we can talk about non-supportive friends/family, our own hurts in watching our children grow up with weight issues, possible dietary changes- all of it. Everything we go through. Those who are overweight parents who want to help us parent our children gently and with respect, while teaching good habits and considering dietary changes, that would be great. I am pretty sure there would be threads about parents struggling with weight issues in Personal Growth, but I would like some of those parents to post here and help us out too .

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Old 12-08-2008, 06:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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2 thoughts on the nutrition aspect, I saw a thread in the Trad. Foods forum about losing weight with coconut oil (again, I don't want ds to lose), and I am wondering about trying that with DS, I already cook with CO, but- could there be any harm in trying to get him to take in even more?

Another- I just read the info on the book the PP posted, and I have to say- we did the "let him eat until satisfied" until a year ago, and he DID overeat, but- mainly on carbs, so- perhaps he needs a lower carb diet?

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Old 12-08-2008, 10:47 PM
 
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DS, age 6, is >97% for weight and only about 40-45% for height. He was born at <3% for weight at full-term...we've certainly run the gamut
Intersting you should say that. My dd1 was also born small (at full-term). She was 6 lbs 12 oz at birth (38 weeks), so I think that put her at like 25%. By the time she was 4 months, she was up to 95% (and this was being exclusively breastfed). I remember reading an article about how low-birth weight babies that gain weight quickly are at higher risk of obesity.

On the contrary...dd2 and ds were born at higher birth weights (7 lb 13 oz and 8 lbs 2 oz), yet they weighed less at 4 months than dd1 did.

So, it does seem to be genetics and metabolism play a huge factor.

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Old 12-08-2008, 11:38 PM
 
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Another- I just read the info on the book the PP posted, and I have to say- we did the "let him eat until satisfied" until a year ago, and he DID overeat, but- mainly on carbs, so- perhaps he needs a lower carb diet?
The book I mentioned above isn't simply "let them eat until they are satisfied", there are some criteria on that, but at set mealtimes, that is basically what it is. The idea is once the child realizes that their food isn't being restricted they will stop eating when they are full, and they have food security knowing that they have another meal or snack coming in a set period of time.

Also I agree on the carb thing. I think I need to majorly reduce the carbs and sugar. I have bought two books by Katleen DesMaisons on sugar addicition (haven't read them yet though ): Potatoes Not Prozac and Little Sugar Addicts. There is a quiz based on your child's behavior etc. at the beginning of Little Sugar Addicts to see if the book might be able to help you and your child. If you do the "Look Inside" at Amazon you can see the quiz right on the first few pages. If you say yes to 3 or more it says the book is for you.
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Old 12-08-2008, 11:46 PM
 
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2 thoughts on the nutrition aspect, I saw a thread in the Trad. Foods forum about losing weight with coconut oil (again, I don't want ds to lose), and I am wondering about trying that with DS, I already cook with CO, but- could there be any harm in trying to get him to take in even more?
I've got Eat Fat, Lose Fat too. It is a book about a traditional foods approach to weight loss/health imrovement/healthy eating with added coconut oil. I do try to cook at home with traditional foods/TF methods as much as possible. But I can't seem to eat much coconut oil plain (or in tea/broth). DH has been better at it, at times...he thought it helped him lose weight last time he tried, but he just used it again for 3 weeks and didn't notice any differences.
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Old 12-08-2008, 11:55 PM
 
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Intersting you should say that. My dd1 was also born small (at full-term). She was 6 lbs 12 oz at birth (38 weeks), so I think that put her at like 25%. By the time she was 4 months, she was up to 95% (and this was being exclusively breastfed). I remember reading an article about how low-birth weight babies that gain weight quickly are at higher risk of obesity.

On the contrary...dd2 and ds were born at higher birth weights (7 lb 13 oz and 8 lbs 2 oz), yet they weighed less at 4 months than dd1 did.

So, it does seem to be genetics and metabolism play a huge factor.
I'm pretty sure there are studies that show low birth weight (specifically intrauterine growth restriction, IUGR) can contribute to higher weights later. I will try to look up some studies, though it doesn't sound like your daughter had IUGR.
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Old 12-09-2008, 12:00 AM
 
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last year my dd started k. on her 5th bday she was 47 inches tall and 65 pounds. seh went thru quite a few growth spurts. i got the looks and comments. even from her dad. suddenly she packed on 20 pounds. she grew two shoe sizes and two clothes sizes.

and suddenly i looked at her couple of months after 6th bday. she is still 65 pounds. but i can tell she has grown taller and slimed down.

so i think at that age there is a huge growth spurt thing happening. i have not kept a record of my dd's growth but in the last year or so she has grown 4 shoe sizes and 3 clothes sizes.

i have heard kids who grow fat and then slim down. and my dd seems to be following that trend.

she also is a v. good eater. last year for months she was eating like a teenager who u joke about has no bottom in his stomach. she was eating two meals at every meal times. but mostly healthy. she does eat candy and sweets but nothing out of the ordinary. she was always hungry i think that lasted for a long, long time. but not anymore. she is still a good eater but that constant hunger is gone.

now for me i am the one weight issues. 4'11 here and weighing over 160 pounds.

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Old 12-09-2008, 12:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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JElaineB- Sorry, I didn't mean to slam the book, I was just excited to see someone had a book recc. and then when I read that little part in the description I thought "but I've tried that!!!" I am sure you know what I mean, it is so hard not knowing what to do, and feeling like you have tried so many things, and wanting to be gentle and kind with our children in the process, not shame them, etc.

Interesting talk on the birth weights and early gains. All of my 4 kids were between 7 pounds 7 ounces, and 8 pounds 4 ounces. My 3 boys (which is the best I can compare, as I failed at nursing DD and had many issues at the beginning with her feeding) all gained weight REALLY REALLY fast, as in, they were 16 pounds by 8 weeks, yep- a pound per week for 2 months! The DS with weight issues started out just like the others, but- he never slowed down, and as I say, was severely "off the charts" even when just BFing (he solely BF until 11 months).

Sigh....

Perhaps I should get more Trad. Foods with regard to our grains, I do serve almost entirely whole grains, but not soaked, sourdough, etc.

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Old 12-09-2008, 12:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh- and this kills me- the fact that I have to feel guilty if I let my kids have some candy/cookies/sweets, because of DS's weight. If I didn't have an overweight kid, I wouldn't think twice about letting them indulge. I do try to keep home mostly crap-free, but- this time of year, people are always giving them stuff to have at home (Chocolate Advent characters)....

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Old 12-09-2008, 02:34 AM
 
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JElaineB- Sorry, I didn't mean to slam the book, I was just excited to see someone had a book recc. and then when I read that little part in the description I thought "but I've tried that!!!" I am sure you know what I mean, it is so hard not knowing what to do, and feeling like you have tried so many things, and wanting to be gentle and kind with our children in the process, not shame them, etc.
No problem, I didn't think that at all - I just wanted to explain it a little more.
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Old 12-09-2008, 03:34 AM
 
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I was an overweight/obese child... I don't have a child who is overweight, but I wanted to say that if you do anything for your child, please let them know that no matter what they weigh or what other people say they are beautiful and perfect how they are.
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Old 12-09-2008, 01:39 PM
 
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I was an overweight/obese child... I don't have a child who is overweight, but I wanted to say that if you do anything for your child, please let them know that no matter what they weigh or what other people say they are beautiful and perfect how they are.
Yes this! I was a pudgy kid but in High School I was not all that overweight, just some extra pounds (and I exercised 8 hours a week too!). IF my family and society had been better able to support me I suspect I would've grown into my weight but instead, everyone else got to eat cake except me ( my mother would literally gorge in front of me). I was put on diets, refused food, and teased.

And you know looking back at pictures, I was decent looking. Curvy hourglass. Could've been hot with the right clothes and hair kwim? Instead I hid in baggy sweatshirts and jeans.

I'm over it. I have a great DH who loves me plump (even when I'm thin,I'm plump) and I pity the fool who thinks they are going to give me grief about my weight. Now that I know I have an actual medical problem and am not actually lazy OR stupid OR unable to control my portions as I was led to believe, I'm quite vocal.

The best thing I can do for DD is teach her she is beautiful no matter what and let her body grow as it was meant unhindered by what I went through. Right now she is not into sugar at all. Just fruit. Ice cream and other sweets are too rich for her and, aside from holidays, they are not routine parts of our diet anyway.

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Old 12-10-2008, 10:06 AM
 
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[QUOTEOh- and this kills me- the fact that I have to feel guilty if I let my kids have some candy/cookies/sweets, because of DS's weight. If I didn't have an overweight kid, I wouldn't think twice about letting them indulge. I do try to keep home mostly crap-free, but- this time of year, people are always giving them stuff to have at home (Chocolate Advent characters).... ][/QUOTE]


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