We don't accept children - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-19-2008, 05:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by karina5 View Post
the business owner.

That's why there are all types of hotels, guest houses, and b and b's. It should be up to the owner to decide.
This makes sense.

I have had to many people make snarky comments about me taking my well behaved kids with me someplace that THEY decided was inappropriate. I do not think that someone else's distaste for children should mean that my kids should only be allowed to go to Chuck E. Cheese.

If some one wants to be in a child free environment than it is up to them to seek it out. Like the PP's have pointed out, there are plenty of them worldwide.

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Old 12-19-2008, 05:43 PM
 
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I think they did word it rather oddly. I am sorry that it offended you. There really are not a lot of B&B's that I have found that do let you bring your kids, and most that I have found that do let kids come are for 12 and up or at least 6 and up.
Here is a web site that shows child-friendly B&B's http://www.virtualcities.com/ons/children.htm

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Old 12-19-2008, 05:43 PM
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I ran into this when Rain was little... we liked to stay at B&Bs but some didn't accept kids... and really, many B&Bs were just so totally perfect for a 7 year old little girl, or for my 7 yr old girl, anyway... she was very theatrical, and loved the chaise lounges and fancy touches. It was like playing tea party for a whole day....

FWIW, we loved the Swan-Levine House in Grass Valley, California, and they were very child-friendly. The owners (who were incredibly nice) are both artists, and the house is an old Victorian that was actually used as a hospital at one point, so the decor was really cool. We stayed in the Surgery, which has pink walls, and a white wicker chaise lounge, and a clawfoot tub.

Just in case anyone is traveling to the area!

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Old 12-19-2008, 05:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by choli View Post
The owner of the establishment that is trying to create the ambience, of course.
Like I said, this makes sense.

I hope that they remember to advertise the "adult's only" ambiance so they don't waste the time of those of us that have our kids in tow and don't assume that kids are not welcome.

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Old 12-19-2008, 05:52 PM
 
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Like I said, this makes sense.

I hope that they remember to advertise the "adult's only" ambiance so they don't waste the time of those of us that have our kids in tow and don't assume that kids are not welcome.

I guess that as a previous poster said, this is cultural. Pre-kids, we stayed in B&Bs in New England a LOT, about once a month, so I am very familiar with the ambience that most B&Bs are trying to acheive. Therefor, I assume that a B&B is childfree, unless they specifically state otherwise.

My family in Ireland, on the other hand, would assume a B&B was a budget, casual accomodation suited to families, as that is what a B&B is like in Ireland.
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Old 12-19-2008, 05:57 PM
 
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Am I understanding this post correctly, you think it's awesome for parents to park their child in a stroller outside and then go inside to eat?

Or are you saying that families with strollers eat outside, there is a no stroller section inside, and that's what's awesome.

Yeah that. Cause the way I'm understanding it is the kid gets left outside alone in a stroller. How is THAT child friendly? Feel welcome to ditch your kid outside in their stroller while you come in to have a nice meal.

FWIW, I have never eaten in a Round Robin or an Olive Garden.
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Old 12-19-2008, 05:58 PM
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I don't see anything wrong with their policy or with their response.

And seriously? We could really do without equating racism with people preferring grown up time at their b&b's.
Me, either.

What's wrong with the Best Western? That's where my husband and I spent our wedding night. Roomy, nice beds, free shampoo and conditioner, cable TV, and free breakfast with a WAFFLE STATION!!!!! :
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Old 12-19-2008, 05:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
I don't know about where you live, but where I live Toys R Us doesn't turn away the adults at the door.
Yeah, how else are the kids gonna get the cash to pay for their goodies ? He he he....
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Old 12-19-2008, 06:09 PM
 
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The b&bs that don't allow kids are probably doing you a favor. Those places are always full of fragile stuff and antiques. It would be pretty stressful to have to worry about stuff getting broken, or about noise.

FWIW, MIL tried to book us in the B&B where she was staying for Thanksgiving. They didn't allow kids, but we found one that did. When we visited MIL's B&B, I was very happy that we hadn't stayed there. Lots of nice original artwork, light carpeting, glass and crystal, decanters of scotch, etc, everywhere. With a 2-year-old, it would have been hellish.
The kid-friendly B&B was fairly shabby, and we liked it that way. Less to worry about. You'll find something.
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Old 12-19-2008, 06:11 PM
 
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I don't think it's as common as it is here...children seem to be unwelcome in so many places (not just B&Bs) to the point where people complain about "unruly" kids on busses, in malls, restaurants - pretty much anywhere.
Well in Canada, the complains about 'unruly' children in public places are usually aimed at the parents of child who run screaming through/around/in said place.

Personally I see not allowing children at a B&B as part of their target marketing. No another persons kid won't ruin my vacation, but in all honesty, when we go of vacation one of the blessings is that I don't have to listen to the neighbours kids screaming, fighting, throwing things and the loud thumps that make me wonder if their pushing each other down the stairs... Seriously, it sounds like that sometimes. And of course mom screaming at her kids to do as she says. And if I'm staying somewhere with DH alone I don't want to hear it. I'm there looking for peace and quiet and a change to get away from everything at home that annoys the heck out of me.

It'd be like... hiring an accountant so you can do your own taxes...

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Old 12-19-2008, 06:21 PM
 
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Never mind -- someone already beat me to my point.

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Old 12-19-2008, 06:32 PM
 
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Here on the east coast I also had trouble finding B&B that allowed kids.
Even some hotels don't allow them.

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Old 12-19-2008, 06:34 PM
 
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I didn't read all the posts, but check out bedandbreakfast.com. They list b&bs nationwide and each ad notes whether they accept children or not and what ages. We prefer to stay in B&Bs because they are nicer and tend to be cleaner than hotels. We've found that off season, a lot of B&Bs are more willing to accept children because they need the business. I just call ahead of time and make sure and promise my children will be on best behavior and I will watch them like a hawk(which I make sure they are, we've never have a problem with this) We get a couple here and there that won't budge but most will and some are even extremely accomodating (providing a special little bed for ds, special treats for him etc)

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Old 12-19-2008, 07:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
I don't know about where you live, but where I live Toys R Us doesn't turn away the adults at the door.
That's not what I said but I do know that kind of subtle sarcasm where I live is rude.
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Old 12-19-2008, 07:03 PM
 
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I agree with many of the PP. When I think of b&b I think of a quiet kid-free place. Dh and I stayed in one at the Jersey Shore for one of our anniversaries (pre-babies) and it was very peaceful. We also went to St. Lucia for our honeymoon and stayed at Sandals and we liked that it was couples-only. I think there should be places that are kid-free for couples who want peace and quiet. If we ever get to go anywhere by ourselves as a couple on vacation, I would want to go to a place with a kid-free environment. Not that I expect that to happen anytime in the near future (or years for that matter). Many people go to these places to be alone and have some time away from their kids. The b&b owners are just accommmodating their clients wishes. When we go away with the kids we make sure it is a kid-friendly place.

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Old 12-19-2008, 07:06 PM
 
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That's ridiculous. I agree, I would not frequent a place that wouldn't allow my kids.

Businesses should set standards for behavior, not age restrictions. I can certainly see throwing a guest out who was disturbing the other patrons, no matter what the guest's age . . . but saying "no kids," assumes that all kids are the same (and awful).

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Old 12-19-2008, 07:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by saskiaofthewoods View Post
O well. I guess I have not been in the States long enough yet to be used to that. I thought they all would allow children.
B&Bs in other countries are very different from B&Bs on the east coast of the US. I stayed in B&Bs in europe, and they were pretty much just as child friendly as hotels were.

Here they tend to be expensive and filled with nick-nacks. DH and I stayed at one before we had DS, and I can't imagine having a very good time at it with DS when he was 19 mo. There was no where I would have been comfortable changing a diaper. I'd have gone crazy keeping him away from the bottels of local hard cider that was everywhere. There was tall antique furniture not tethered to the plaster was of the old victorian farm house. Etc.

It would have been nice if they had said "Sorry, we are very poorly set up for young children." Instead of "we do not accept children," but the reasons are valid.

I some times just decide on my own that a place doesn't look child friendly enough for me to want to take DS to it even if they don't have a no children policy. For instance, between when DS was around 13 mo and 26 mo we completely avoided restraunts with table clothes since DS liked to pull on them.


Recently I stayed at a family friendly hotel in PA. While not completely child centered, it had many accomedations that pleased DS to no end. A nice salt water pool, and a small swingset out back, toddler pleasing food, and some farm animals. There were thing older kids would have liked too, tennis courts, a basket ball hoop, game room, etc.


There are certainly places that don't accept adults. I can not sign up to take classes at DS's preschool myself, they will only take him. At Ikea adults are not allowed into the ballpit.

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Originally Posted by karina5 View Post
What country is it that they leave their babies outside in the stroller while the parents are inside eating? Sweden I believe...? I think that's awesome!
Why would leaving my baby alone in a stroller parked on a cold or hot sidewalk while I enjoyed a nice meal in a climate controlled restraunt be a good thing .

Before DS started solids he would snuggle in his sling or sit next to me in his carseat/carrier when we went to restraunts. If he wanted to nurse he was right there. Once he stared solids I would ask for a high chair, small bowl and a fork for him and mash him up a banana (always had one in a baggy along with a bib and baby spoon) and let him eat with the rest of us.

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Old 12-19-2008, 07:17 PM
 
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Yes, we found this out years ago ... we used to go to them pre-ds ... when we tried to look for one afterwards ... no luck.

you will find almost all of them are not child friendly.

We learned to like hotels
You can find child friendly B and B places if you look, but most don't and frankly that is why I like them. When I go to them it is usually cause I want a rare break from kids life. I went to one just before I had this last baby in March. I would have been pretty peeved if I got woken up early by crying or playing kids when the whole point of going was to get a break from my own. Since these places are usually regular (and old) houses, they are hardly sound proof. When you can find a B and B that is accepting kids it is usually not in the main house but in a separate cottage or guest house.
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Old 12-19-2008, 07:29 PM
 
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I agree with the poster who said something along the lines of "I don't necessarily always like other ppl's kids". If I were paying high $ for a romantic and/or quiet getaway I would be pretty P.O.'d if someone's kid spent the weekend screaming, throwing tantrums, and being loud/annoying otherwise. I'd find a different place and go there when you're able to have a getway (just you and DH) and DS is able to stay with someone.

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Old 12-19-2008, 07:37 PM
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Actually I think it's Denmark. But it's not because they don't welcome babies but more that places are too small to accommodate strollers. I think they believe the fresh air is good for them too.
Fresh air is good for you!!!! As long as you are dressed for the weather, you are fine, even a tiny baby. It is Denmark, but Sweden too, to a degree. It depends entirely on the establishment. You wouldn't put a push-chair on a narrow foot-path outside a restaurant with a hallway, in a big city. However, at a local café, , perhaps with tables outside, on a wide foot-path, where you can sit just inside the door, watching through the window, yes, why not (remember, kidnappings are extremely rare in Scandinavia, the only ones I've heard of have been a parent taking his or her child, or a much older child. It isn't like you have any chance of getting away with stealing someone else's child!).

I grew up in Sweden. While we didn't go to B&Bs there (hostels are excellent, clean, cheap, family accommodation in Sweden), we did stay at B&Bs during holidays in Germany, Austria and Switzerland. I have wonderful memories of us, three little children, looking out for signs saying "zimmer frei", returning to the same B&Bs year after year, where the usually elderly couples, would spoil us children rotten, with tiny chocolates on our pillows, lovely breakfast spreads, big chocolate gifts as we were leaving etc!

M parents are arriving for a visit this summer (February!), and we are going to take them, and of course DD, to our favourite, very much romantic, place (the owners call it an Inn, but in essence, I think it is a B&B, although they serve dinner as well, if you pay for it) where we will stay in their family suite, rather than one of their ordinary double rooms. I love the place, precisely because it is so secluded, romantic and relaxed. And children are very welcome (the owners actually have children themselves), they even have a (beautifully landscaped, and very much fitting in well in environment) sandpit!
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Old 12-19-2008, 07:40 PM
 
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(remember, kidnappings are extremely rare in Scandinavia, the only ones I've heard of have been a parent taking his or her child, or a much older child. It isn't like you have any chance of getting away with stealing someone else's child!)
That's actually the case in the US, too, statistically. But no one would do that at a cafe because it isn't culturally accepted.
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Old 12-19-2008, 07:43 PM
 
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Huh. I don't have a problem with that at all. DH and I have a favorite B&B that we visit once or twice a year and I love that it's a no kid zone! I love kids, my own and other people's, but there are times when I want an adults only environment.

I think it's quite a stretch to say that the existence of adults-only B&Bs means that US culture is a child-hating one.

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Old 12-19-2008, 07:48 PM
 
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Am I understanding this post correctly, you think it's awesome for parents to park their child in a stroller outside and then go inside to eat?

Or are you saying that families with strollers eat outside, there is a no stroller section inside, and that's what's awesome.


Neither. I think it's awesome that Denmark is so safe that parents feel secure doing this. I don't think it's an awful thing. Somehow all these babies grow up and maybe the fresh air is really good for them. I don't think they leave a crying baby out there, just a sleeping one. It's not something I can really envision, but I think the whole thing is kind of neat.
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Old 12-19-2008, 07:52 PM
 
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That's not what I said but I do know that kind of subtle sarcasm where I live is rude.
I was also being redundant. I'd commented before reading the rest of the replies, and later realized someone else had already responded to your post (only not sarcastically/rudely like I did ).

When I tried to edit it out, things got really weird, and my edit of "never mind -- someone already beat me to my point" got put further down, while the comment I'd tried to delete stayed right where it was ...

Anyhow, my intent was not to offend, but rather to express that the analogy was flawed. I should have just said "This analogy is flawed because ..."

I'll try to keep that in mind for the future, and I apologize for my rudeness.

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Old 12-19-2008, 07:55 PM
 
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I know tons of B&B's that don't "allow" kids. Why would they? They are places for for couples. What is wrong with that? Is it "disrespectful" for my husband and I to spend the night together? Or what about people pre-child, or on their honeymoons?

http://www.anniversaryinn.com/rooms.php?room=93

This is a place that should let babies in?
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Old 12-19-2008, 07:55 PM
 
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I don't think they leave a crying baby out there, just a sleeping one.
I've heard strangers will stop to pop there heads in to tell parents that their baby has woken up and is crying.

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Old 12-19-2008, 07:56 PM
 
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That's actually the case in the US, too, statistically. But no one would do that at a cafe because it isn't culturally accepted.
I'm not afraid that if I left an infant parked out side a restraunt that they would be kidnapped.

I believe that the baby might get cold or hot, that tey would be likely to wake up and be scared that they were alone, that if they were already awake they would be bored, that they might get hungry and want to nurse, that an older baby might try to climb out of their stroller and fall, that a bird might poop on them, that a dog might bite them, that a kid might try to play with them roughly, that an old lady might give them hard candy to choke on, etc, etc...

One does not need to be paranoid seeing child abductors around every corner to feel that leaving small babies parked alone on a city sidewalk is a bad idea.

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Old 12-19-2008, 08:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by fairejour View Post
I know tons of B&B's that don't "allow" kids. Why would they? They are places for for couples. What is wrong with that? Is it "disrespectful" for my husband and I to spend the night together? Or what about people pre-child, or on their honeymoons?

http://www.anniversaryinn.com/rooms.php?room=93

This is a place that should let babies in?
What confused the OP is that in the country where she's from, B&Bs are casual places for families. Here they are romantic places for couples.
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Old 12-19-2008, 08:06 PM
 
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I've heard strangers will stop to pop there heads in to tell parents that their baby has woken up and is crying.


Again, that's really awesome. It's interesting that it works so well in their culture. It would not work well here I don't think.

Then again, isn't Denmark "the world's happiest country" or something like that? I believe it is!! Probably their looking out for one another's babies is a good indicator of that.

For people that think it's a bad idea, I think "don't judge unless you've been there, seen EXACTLY how it works, etc.."
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Old 12-19-2008, 08:15 PM
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I'm not afraid that if I left an infant parked out side a restraunt that they would be kidnapped.

I believe that the baby might get cold or hot, that tey would be likely to wake up and be scared that they were alone, that if they were already awake they would be bored, that they might get hungry and want to nurse, that an older baby might try to climb out of their stroller and fall, that a bird might poop on them, that a dog might bite them, that a kid might try to play with them roughly, that an old lady might give them hard candy to choke on, etc, etc...

One does not need to be paranoid seeing child abductors around every corner to feel that leaving small babies parked alone on a city sidewalk is a bad idea.
We're talking about sleeping babies here, not awake toddlers, and usually in a pram with a hood. You'd park the pram outside the window where you can see your baby - so you can get her if or when she wakes up. Roaming dogs is usually not a problem in cities/towns (or anywhere), there are strict laws on controlling your dog, and people abide them. And in Sweden, the idea that a stranger would feed your baby anything is ridiculous! They'll oh and ah over the baby (but I doubt they'd get too close to a sleeping baby - parents don't usually take it well if you wake their precious bundle).

Oh, well, not on the topic at all, sorry.
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