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#1 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 12:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am sorry if my words seem somehow hard. While I am writing this I am still mad as hell (see what I am saying?)

My husband is currently deployed to Afghanistan and before that he was in training 6 months and then we were living at different places as well. The point is, we have not seen each other often since we are married. But we managed to have a baby together :-)

Anyway, now that he will come home soon I thought a nice surprise for him would be to take a long weekend off and go to Memphis. My husband is a big Elvis fan. Of course we would want to take our 15 months old babyman with us.

Now I was trying to find some nicelooking bed and breakfast or guesthouses. I found one, too. I wrote them and you know what? They wrote us

"We would love to have you as our guests. However, we do not accept children!"

Not accept children? Where are we? Not accept...like we do not accept VISA or what? They are not things. They are humans, too. Maybe even better humans than most adults. And they are a part of a family as well. They could have at least said that they do not want children in their house. Still hard to understand for me, but to say we do not ACCEPT them. ARRRRR!

I wrote them back asking if that was some sort of bad joke and they got really mad at me for this remark .

"It is not unusual for small guesthouses to not accept children!"

Well, now I know, too. But it should!

Even if I would not be a mom I would NEVER EVER spend my money or time in a place where they do not respect children as much as adults. Everybody should be treated the same!

Okay, I am still mad! You have probably noticed.

On the website of this guesthouse it did not say by the way that they do not accept children. That makes me really really mad! I took some time to ask them a nice email. I could have done something better with my time. And even worse, if I would not be a mommy yet, I might have spend my time and money there not even knowing that they do not show children the respect they deserve.

O well. I am still mad but I feel a bit better now that I have told you girls. So thank you for letting me get this out of my system!

Merry Christmas to all fo you !
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#2 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 01:02 PM
 
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hugs sorry they were a bit rude in their replies... most people think bed and breakfast as a couples retreat... so i would have totally assumed kids werent allowed..
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#3 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 01:08 PM
 
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Yes, we found this out years ago ... we used to go to them pre-ds ... when we tried to look for one afterwards ... no luck.

you will find almost all of them are not child friendly.

We learned to like hotels
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#4 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 01:08 PM
 
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That's really common for B&Bs, but they could have been nicer about it.
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#5 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 01:09 PM
 
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It is frustrating, especially because you have been seperated!

We ran into the same problem when planning a vacation to the Eastern Shore of Maryland. To add insult, nearly everyplace allowed dogs but not kids!

I called so many places, at least 15 and got the same response, no kids. ok, thanks anyway.

What was interesting was the lectures and unsolicited ass-vice the inn keepers gave me.

Along the lines of "you should be getting a sitter. don't you think your husband would prefer to be alone? why would you want to bring your kid along?" Unbelievalbe! It was like they were personally offended at the thought of parents vacationing with their children.

I hope you can find a family friendly place.

Mom to DS, born fall 05 after ,,, wife/best friend to DH We have
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#6 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 01:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asianyoushi View Post
hugs sorry they were a bit rude in their replies... most people think bed and breakfast as a couples retreat... so i would have totally assumed kids werent allowed..
: for the rudeness they treated you with.

Most bed and breakfast places are considered couple resorts and do not allow children on the premises. They gear their business to couples.

They could have been a little bit professional and polite though.
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#7 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 01:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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O well. I guess I have not been in the States long enough yet to be used to that. I thought they all would allow children.

I mean, okay, it is their house and they can allow who they want, but then they should have to state that BIG on their homepage so you do not even bother to write them. And of course because like I said I would never ever want to spend my money on places like this.

And for my husband... He did not see Morvryn in the whole 1st year. He would not want to spend time without him. He knows I would never do that anyway. I could not enjoy time away from my son. That would be a nightmare!

I just hope we can find something nice now though. It is sooo hard. I did not think it would get so hard. They should have those guesthouses listed in different categories so you know right away. Family friendly and children-haters . Sorry, had to say it!
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#8 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 01:17 PM
 
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I also have discovered that many B&Bs don't allow children, so I'm not too surprised. Have you tried googling for "child-friendly bed and breakfast"?
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#9 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 01:23 PM
 
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they should put it on their website. when dh's cousin got married last summer in a really quickly planned ceremony on an island, I had a HELL of a time finding a b&b that allowed a child. BUT...when I did find them, they were great! they gave us a private cottage at the same rate as the cheap room we originally booked and we ended up staying longer than planned. so just hang in there.

personally, I do understand the need for adults only accomodations. I love my child, but I don't always love everyone else's kids, and not all parents seem to understand that...

DD1 7/13/05 DD2 9/20/10
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#10 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 01:44 PM
 
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We have found some B&B's that allow children, but most are certainly not kid places. They are often decorated with antiques and breakables. They also are not particularly sound-proof, since they are just houses. As much as I love my children, I would not want to hear anybody else's kids if I were on a romantic B&B getaway with my husband, yk?

We found a great house to rent for a weekend in Memphis by searching on VRBO.com.

Paige, mama to three girls, (10), (8) and (3)
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#11 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 01:53 PM
 
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Honestly, I don't think their reply was rude, just to the point.

I understand your frustration, but I completely understand the policy. Like others said, I would hate to be on a romantic getaway and hear screaming kids next to us...that's the kind of place you often pick for a romantic getaway because of the very fact that they usually do not accept children.

I have also been to adult-only resorts, and it is a nice break to be able to sit around a pool without kids running around. I love kids, but sometimes adult time is much appreciated.

And again, many b&b have antiques, collectables, breakables, fancy furniture, so even if your kids are perfect and wouldn't touch any of those things, I can definitely see that many of those places are not kid-friendly.
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#12 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 02:11 PM
 
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A lot of B&B's don't. We went to NS with my first when he was about 8 months. We love B&Bs and took him with us. We did find two that allowed children, one being our favourite, which was great. But really in the end, they weren't really set up for kids. I don't expect a B&B to be kid friendly, unless they actually have kids. It's a lot of extra stuff and gear for them to make it kid friendly, and considering it's often a mom and pop type business, I'm willing to cut them a little slack. One of my favourite places to stay now is at a Delta hotel which has a family suite, with a small kitchen, lots of space and a separate bedroom so I can put the kids down and we can relax in the living space. Not quite the B&B feel, but a lot easier on me.

Don't trust anyone under 5! Mom to 3 boys under 5. Blogging to save my sanity.
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#13 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 02:18 PM
 
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I'd search for a condo or something. B&B's really aren't kid friendly at all. Dh and I have stayed at a few both pre and post kids, and none were set up for kids.

Mom to ds 9 dd 7 : and dd 3/08 : if I can I go to
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#14 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 02:18 PM
 
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I didn't mean it, just meant I'd be temped to ask in the moment when I was angry with them, as in seeing it as just another form of discrimination.

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#15 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 02:20 PM
 
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op-

are you from Europe? i think that maybe you are used to the concept of B&B in a more European context?

i know in England it's more family oriented and less expensive to stay in a B&B. it used to be anyway...

in America B&Bs are considered chi chi foo foo expensive romantic couples getaway places.

shame though 'cause i think it's nicer the other way.

i mean who wants to get busy with the dh when right next door is the host and hostess!!?? that's just weird.

sorry they were not accepting of kids. i think it's just a cultural difference though.

i've always thought it would be nice to have a real B&B where i live. one where there is a big main room with books and puzzles and musical instruments and a fireplace and bikes to take to the beach and kids are welcome and it's a reasonably priced family friendly alternative to a boring hotel. hmmmm. maybe in my next career...
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#16 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 02:20 PM
 
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I can understand your frustration, and they could have been more polite, but it doesn't mean they are child-haters.

Some businesses just aren't geared towards kids. Others are. And there's nothing wrong with that.

SAHM to Ninja Boy (6) surf.gif and Monkey Man (4) carrot.gif.

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#17 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 02:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frontierpsych View Post
I didn't mean it, just meant I'd be temped to ask in the moment when I was angry with them, as in seeing it as just another form of discrimination.
See... I just don't see it as discrimination. The business is geared for couples on romantic getaways without kids. I just don't think EVERYTHING must be child-friendly.

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#18 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 02:23 PM
 
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Really weird. We've stayed in 3 different B&B's and every one welcomed our kids.

I can see why they wouldn't, but they could have been a touch more polite.

Sorry OP!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#19 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 02:24 PM
 
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Originally Posted by bri276 View Post

personally, I do understand the need for adults only accomodations. I love my child, but I don't always love everyone else's kids, and not all parents seem to understand that...
ITA...and I'll leave it at that to avoid to many flames
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#20 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 02:29 PM
 
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I don't see anything wrong with their policy or with their response.

And seriously? We could really do without equating racism with people preferring grown up time at their b&b's.
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#21 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 02:30 PM
 
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I don't think they were rude, and I wouldn't have a probelm with it. And I respect and love my kids VERY much and do treat them as equals, absolutely. But they are not little adults-- they do break things and they can be quite loud! Disruptive and destructive, God bless them! So, that's why I agree with the followign posts:

Quote:
Originally Posted by HomeBirthMommy View Post
They are often decorated with antiques and breakables. They also are not particularly sound-proof, since they are just houses. As much as I love my children, I would not want to hear anybody else's kids if I were on a romantic B&B getaway with my husband, yk?
:

Quote:
Originally Posted by FeminineFigure View Post
Honestly, I don't think their reply was rude, just to the point.

I understand your frustration, but I completely understand the policy. Like others said, I would hate to be on a romantic getaway and hear screaming kids next to us...that's the kind of place you often pick for a romantic getaway because of the very fact that they usually do not accept children.

<snip>

And again, many b&b have antiques, collectables, breakables, fancy furniture, so even if your kids are perfect and wouldn't touch any of those things, I can definitely see that many of those places are not kid-friendly.
And again :

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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#22 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 02:38 PM
 
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I didn't mean it, just meant I'd be temped to ask in the moment when I was angry with them, as in seeing it as just another form of discrimination.
So Toys R Us discriminates against adults because they gear their business to children? It's not discrimination, it's gearing a personal business to an industry with a demand for it. Simple economics.
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#23 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 02:46 PM
 
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I know some accept children! One of my favorite trips growing up was to a B&B in Pa near the Amish country. I remember it having the most amazing and largest play house I have ever seen that had the cutest play kitchen, little dining room and even a loft! The owner even let us milk a cow!!

You can find one I'm sure.

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#24 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 02:49 PM
 
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A lot of B&B's and guest houses have antiques and the setup is different than a hotel where it wouldn't be conducive for children.

To be honest, I would seek out a kid-free place like that for a romantic weekend w/ DH. I think the policy is fine.
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#25 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 02:52 PM
 
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Sorry to hear about the way you were treated :. Unlike PPs, I have found B&Bs to be child friendly. Maybe it is a regional thing? We are out West...where most everyone tends to love kids and dogs!!!

DH and I have always enjoyed staying at B&Bs! Since DD was born, we have continued to enjoy them. We have stayed in a variety of B&Bs in a lot of different locations:

*Breckenridge, Colorado
*Telluride, Colorado
*Santa Fe, New Mexico
*Cambria, California
*San Luis Obispo, California
*Santa Barbara, California

Every time, our daughter has been greeted with open arms. In fact, we have gotten special treatment! One place laid out an assortment of bath toys in the bathroom for DD while other places have provided a small box of toys! Every place supplied special bedding and a crib or little bed, as well as baby or toddler friendly food. Diaper service has been arranged for us, too.

I understand that B&Bs tend to be geared towards adults (DD has always been the only child in the house...but, the inn keepers seemed to have things ready to go for any child). Plus, DD lives amongst antiques, artwork, and nice furnishings at home. For a B&B to exclude little ones based upon that reasoning is totally absurd! One can expect such exclusionary policies in European countries (where many business owners barely tolerate children in their restaurants, shops, and hotels). But, that is not the norm here in America.

JMO...

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#26 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 02:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ruthie's momma View Post
Sorry to hear about the way you were treated :. Unlike PPs, I have found B&Bs to be child friendly. Maybe it is a regional thing? We are out West...most everyone tends to love kids and dogs!!!

DH and I have always enjoyed staying at B&Bs! Since DD was born, we have continued to enjoy them. We have stayed in a variety of B&Bs in a lot of different locations:

*Breckenridge, Colorado
*Telluride, Colorado
*Santa Fe, New Mexico
*Cambria, California
*San Luis Obispo, California
*Santa Barbara, California

Every time, our daughter has been greeted with open arms. In fact, we have gotten special treatment! One place laid out an assortment of bath toys in the bathroom for DD while other places have provided a small box of toys! Every place supplied special bedding and a crib or little bed, as well as baby or toddler friendly food. Diaper service has been arranged for us, too.



Well there are lots of kid friendly ones, too. That's the thing. There are both. So why would it be an issue? If you have your children with you, find a place they can stay.
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#27 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 03:01 PM
 
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Well, OP, I am with you.

I do not get the whole "I'm on a romantic getaway with my DP and seeing kids would just wreck it" mentality. (I'm not trying to be judgmental here, just saying that I, personally, do not understand.)

I live in the states and I am surprised to hear that the no kids policy is common. Honestly it would never even occur to me to ask if my children were "allowed" in any kind of environment. I assume that if I am allowed than my kids are too. I does seem to be an age based form of discrimination.

Having said that, I try to be respectful of others when out and about. The kids can run, jump and be noisy on a playground not in a restaurant. If my kids are not behaving appropriately to the environment it is my responsibility to remove them.

Right or wrong, if someplace is going to be "adult only" they have a responsibility to be up front about it. I think this is what makes the situation really crappy.

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#28 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 03:05 PM
 
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I think it's okay for a B&B not to accept children. Karina5 is right- they may have antiques, or a not-so-safe set up for kids. The food they serve may not be kid-friendly either. And to be honest, a lot of their customers may be going precisely to have a kid-free weekend. Go to a kid-friendly place instead.
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#29 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 03:05 PM
 
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I would be irked too, but on the other side of things, maybe it's that they're not equipped to meet the needs of families and aren't babyproofed in any way. It could just be a liability thing - but it still sucks. Try one of the bigger hotels/motels...they're usually family friendly even if they are more cookie cutter.
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#30 of 288 Old 12-19-2008, 03:06 PM
 
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I always thought it was assumed a B&B was not family friendly unless they specifically said so, not the other way around (cultural difference I guess). It doesn't mean they are child-haters. I am not a child hater (I am quite fond of my own kids ) but don't really care for other people's kids. I like that there are places out there that are adult-only (not that DH and I go anywhere). I wouldn't go to a hotel with an indoor water park and be annoyed there were families there, I think the opposite is true as well.
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