Originally Posted by hmk123
I hate it when people tell me that I cannot possibly know what I will do when I actually have a baby, about how I will raise them and what I will and will not do.
"You cannot possibly know until you actually have them. Then you will see and change your mind." My sister is particualrly annoying on this subject.
That's incredibly frustrating, and I agree with the others who have said it's because that person couldn't get something to work, or didn't really care about that particular thing, that she thinks it can't work for anyone.Clearly many mothers can and do breastfeed. Why wouldn't you be one of them? And if it doesn't work or you change your mind or whatever, that doesn't mean you are doomed from the start.
There are a lot of things I see other parents doing, and I wonder how in the heck they accomplish it, but that doesn't mean I think they can't. She isn't you, so she has no idea of what you can and cannot do. I remember when I was pregnant with my first and I had these ideas, and my sister would get almost outraged with me. I remember talking with her about my birth plan ideas, because I wanted her input, and when I said that I didn't want an episiotomy, she was all, "You have
to have an episiotomy, they don't give you a choice, they don't even ask!" When I said that was the situation I was trying to avoid and that's why I was talking to her, she was just kind of doing the rueful laugh "you'll see!" kind of thing.
And then when you do successfully do some of the things you wanted to do, the attitude after the fact is not usually, "Wow, I was wrong." It ends up being more "Oh sure, you could do X because you didn't do Y. Well, I don't want to be like that anyway, I think that's weird." She seemed really taken aback when I had a homebirth because she wouldn't want a homebirth. It finally came out one day, and she liked going to the hospital, it was the only way to get away. And I told her I completely understood the value that she put on it and I didn't think there was anything wrong with that, but that different people want different things. She seemed better after that.