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#1 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 09:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello, I'm not sure if this is in the right place (I've spent a while debating, ha) but feel free to move it if it's not.

My husband and I are the proud parents of a 6 week old baby girl. She was a bit of a surprise (a BIG surprise, actually) and while thrilled we're now trying to plan what we want to do as far as subsequent kids go.

We're thinking of TTC shortly, like when our LO is between 6-9 months old.

I've mentioned this to a few other moms the other day and was met with varying reactions of horror. I know 15-18 months can be the hardest, and that's when I'm thinking of introducing #2, but my sister and I were 15 months apart and mom says it was almost easier that way.

Our reasons from TTC range from great (we're so in love with our LO we want more!) to pretty good (we want our kids close together because we believe it makes for stronger relationships- my sis and I are really close, and DH and his brother are not, and they're 4 years apart) to selfish (I want to start school when we're done having kids) to REALLY bad (I want another kid soon so I can put off going back to work longer- I don't think I NEED to go back to work, but DH wants me to).

For those of you with kids close together- did you do it on purpose? What are the benefits? What are the drawbacks?
To those who waited longer between kids- I guess same questions? For comparison purposes.

Grace - wife to Jeff and mama to Nigella (11/08) and Orrin (01/10)- expecting a new addition (05/12)! Life is a whirlwind, but I'm learning to enjoy the ride!

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#2 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 09:07 PM
 
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My oldest two are 15 months apart, and it was never difficult. We did not do it on purpose, but I'm glad it worked out this way.

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#3 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 09:11 PM
 
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Mine are 2.5 years apart, and I loved that spacing. My brother and I were 18 months and my mom said it was really hard. The closeness is nice growing up, though.
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#4 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 09:15 PM
 
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My kids are 13 months apart. Both planned and unplanned at the same time. It took us 2 years to get pregnant with my son so we opted to not prevent the next pregnancy in case it took that long again. We were certainly surprised I got pregnant so quickly, but very happy.

I love the age difference. Mentally it was good for me, because I was doing all the "baby" stuff at the same time and now I am doing the "toddler" stuff with both of them. They play so well together and it is so cute to see them interact. Since I only have two, I do feel I have lots of time with them one on one.

I did have many days where it got really hairy. Neither of my kids were/are great sleepers, so as soon as one would go back to sleep (from a night waking), the other one would wake up. Or having them both screaming at the same time, but I can only take care of one at a time. They rarely napped at the same time. I have a wonderful, helpful DH and that makes my job a lot easier!

My sister's kids are 4 years apart. She likes the age difference. Her oldest is now in school so she has lots of one on one with the younger one. She preferred to only have 1 in diapers at a time. They are 6 and 2 so they are just starting to play together a bit. But, my older nephew gets upset when the toddler destroys his more complicated projects. Or when he can't play with a toy because it isn't safe for his younger brother.

Obviously there is no right or wrong answer. I had no desire for a large age gap, my sister had no desire for a small one. But, our individual families seem to work out just fine.
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#5 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 09:20 PM
 
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I personally think closeness in relationships has more to do with personality than age difference. My college roommate is best friends with her sister, who's 3.5 years younger. The three kids I nanny: A is 18mos older than B and B is 28 mos older than C...the two who are 28mos apart get along much better than the two who are 18mos apart. At the same time, another family I nannied for had two kids 19 mos apart (G/G) and another had kids 13 mos apart (B/G), and they got along wonderfully. (The 13 mos family also had a girl 4 years older than the next oldest, and, really, they all got along great)

Yes, I think if there's a huge age difference (like 5+ years), chances are that as kids, they may not be as close, but, even when there is a large difference, I've noticed that many adults are closer with their "further" siblings than their "closer" siblings.

My sister and I are 30 mos apart (but 2 years in school, if that makes sense), and we did NOT (and do not, still) get along...just different personalities and interests, but, when we were in school, a lot of competition between us (academically, socially, physically, etc).

If you have another in 15 mos, they might hate each other. But, that could happen if you wait 4 years. If you have another in 15 mos, they might adore each other. But, that might also happen if you wait four years. I suspect the answers you get will be as varied as the parents' and children's personalities, and there's no way to know in advance how your next child will fit into that dynamic...
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#6 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 09:27 PM
 
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Mine are 10 months apart. They should have been one year exactly (had the same due dates, even), but the younger girlie was born early. They're adopted, so I didn't have any say over the timing.

It was hard when they were little. Both had sleep issues, so we were exhausted for a long time. It was hard to spend a decent amount of time one-on-one when they were so small, because both had immediate needs (as in, oldest wasn't really old enough to wait for food while I fed youngest).

It was a lot of fun, though. By the time they were a couple of years old, they could play together, share clothes, and sleep together. If I were able to plan, I probably wouldn't do it *that close* together, but overall it has worked out well. They're 10 and 11 now and are able to be more independent of me because they are their own little buddy system.
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#7 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 09:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by katheek77 View Post
If you have another in 15 mos, they might hate each other. But, that could happen if you wait 4 years. If you have another in 15 mos, they might adore each other. But, that might also happen if you wait four years. I suspect the answers you get will be as varied as the parents' and children's personalities, and there's no way to know in advance how your next child will fit into that dynamic...
These are both great points. For some reason, in my many years of thinking about kids, it never occurred to me that personality may play a factor in how well your kids get along. I am seeing in my family all four of us kids get along great and we're fairly close in age. My SIL's three kids, with 2.5 years between them, aren't terribly close though they're also very young.

I am definitely OK with varied answers. When I mentioned it to other moms in my playgroup, and to some moms I know online, the only response I got was a horribly shocked expressions, silence, and then... "you're INSANE!"

Honestly, my biggest worry with 2 kids close together is how it will affect my breastfeeding relationship with our current LO, although parenting is a close second as far as the worry goes.

Grace - wife to Jeff and mama to Nigella (11/08) and Orrin (01/10)- expecting a new addition (05/12)! Life is a whirlwind, but I'm learning to enjoy the ride!

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#8 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 09:33 PM
 
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Mine are 13mos apart exactly! They were both planned and it was the greatest decision i had ever made.
Tandem nursing was difficult but do-able.
I had to have a schedule because i needed to time out naps soo at least one was together so i could get a little break.
Some days were hard but most were great! My eldest was a very quiet sweet child, so when the baby was sleeping in the cuddly wrap i could sit an hour and read to the eldest.
i tried to co-sleep with both but DD1 rolled onto the baby, so we had to put an end to co-sleeping.
My youngest was a miracle and slept through the night very early, like 2-3 mos.
I love that i had two babies than two toddlers. I'm planning on homeschooling and i think the close spacing is terrific! one curriculum for both girls.
I ec'd both girls and that was a lot of extra work but very doable, great results for ec too when the oldest was a role model, then when the youngest was a role model.
I guess the hardest thing was getting to the car, carrying one child and holding onto the hand of a very unsteady toddler.
Most days they get along and some days they are yelling and fighting over toys, since they like the same stuff.
After having them close i just couldn't imagine putting more space between.
Good luck on your decision.
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#9 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 09:37 PM
 
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You might change your mind once you get closer to 6 months. I was already planning #2 a couple of days after I had DD, but honestly, she has turned out to be very high needs and because of that, we are putting off TTC for a while. We will probably start TTC when she is over a year old. I don't want to risk my milk drying up, especially because it turns out that DD has many food intolerances, so she really needs the milk.

That being said, I'm the oldest of 9 kids, and we vary in spacing from 17 months to 3 years apart. The closest sets of siblings aren't all close in age, though some are.

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#10 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 09:39 PM
 
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My girls are almost 3 years apart, which is more than I had wanted. I would say the advantages, practically, were that my older girl had some independence when the baby was born, and I never felt like I had too few arms. She was also happy to spend a few nights at Grandma's, when I had to stay in the hospital for a while.

I find that she really enjoys the baby, and they play together, even though I wouldn't have expected it from a 1 and 4 year old. She is pretty understanding when she has to wait for me too deal with the baby's needs.

My neighbour has 3 kids, with 2 years between each. She liked that with the first two, but wished she'd had a slightly longer spacing for the third.

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#11 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 09:42 PM
 
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Oh, I nannied for a family with 4 girls right before I had DD, the 2 oldest were 15 months apart and 8 and 7 years old, the 2 youngest were 18 months apart (she had a miscarriage in between them, they would have been 15 months apart too). It was REALLY tough with the newborn and 18 month old in the beginning but it was great when they were older (when the baby was a year old or so) because they played together.

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#12 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 09:47 PM
 
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I have not read the other responses yet, but are you sure it is even possible? I mean i know it is possible for some, but i did not ovulate until ds was 15 months old, followed by the meanest of all AFs ever (lol). for me, even if i wanted to get preggo before then, it would not have worked due to my son nursing so often. He did not really even start ingesting solids until 14 months and now is eating about fifty percent solids, fifty percent breastmilk (in terms of calories).

Anyway, my own personal bias is to wait until the child is at least 2 so that you don't have to worry about milk drying up when they absolutely need it the most. Not to say older chlildren don't need it (they do, just not for caloric reasons).

me, dh and 2 boys = our family (oh and a cat...who is also a male...lol)
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#13 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 09:51 PM
 
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have not read the other responses yet, but are you sure it is even possible?
It was definitely possible for me, I got my period back 6-8 weeks after giving birth everytime. I wish I could have been so lucky as to keep it away. Nursing did nothing to help with that

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#14 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 09:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have not read the other responses yet, but are you sure it is even possible? I mean i know it is possible for some, but i did not ovulate until ds was 15 months old, followed by the meanest of all AFs ever (lol).

Anyway, my own personal bias is to wait until the child is at least 2 so that you don't have to worry about milk drying up when they absolutely need it the most.
The first- not sure. I keep thinking I'm getting my period already but I haven't figured it out yet. My PP basically stopped, and now I'm onto bright red bleeding but i"m not sure if it's cuz I'm doing a lot more now that DH is back at work, or if it's my period? No idea. DD is already sleeping well, and I'd read that you need to nurse every 3-4 hours to prevent AF but she'll often go 5-6 without a problem, so I'm not sure.

Second- that's my concern, too. Part of me wants to wait until at least 1 year just in case the milk goes the way of the do do bird, but I'm undecided.


And to the PP who mentioned that DD is still really young- so far she seems like an easy baby, but I'm not sure how much if that is because she's the first and still newborn. She sleeps well at night, but the rest of the time won't sleep usually unless she's being held. This could all change a bit later on, and I don't want to tell DH "okay, plan to start TTC in 5 months!" in case she suddenly stops being an easy baby and becomes very high-needs. So far she really is so mellow and relaxed and it takes a lot to get her worked up, but maybe she's just adjusting and when she can start to focus on things and realize mom left the room, etc, it'll get a bit crazy.

Grace - wife to Jeff and mama to Nigella (11/08) and Orrin (01/10)- expecting a new addition (05/12)! Life is a whirlwind, but I'm learning to enjoy the ride!

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#15 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 09:58 PM
 
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Your fertility might or might not have returned by then, as a pp suggested. My husband and I both come from families where 4 kids are spaced about 1.5 yrs apart each, even less in dh's case, and he is not close at all to his siblings, while I am - personality plays a huge, huge role. We thought, before we had kids, that we would also space them very close together, but now our kids will definitely be more like 3 yrs apart, to give them each plenty of time to have a strong nursing and co-sleeping relationship. I think that ap parents can of course make any spacing work, but I would worry about deliberately sacrificing nursing and co-sleeping - i.e., by nightweaning to get your fertility back, or by having your milk dry up when pregnant - in order to have another child. I guess I feel pretty strongly about that.
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#16 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 09:59 PM
 
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Mine are all 23-25 months apart and for us, it has been a good spacing. I have a hard time imagining a smaller gap, to be honest, but obvioulsy it works well for many other families. I was comfortable with TTC once the youngest turned a year, each time.

My dad and his bro are 11 months apart and while I don't know if it was difficult for my grandma, they are super close to this day. But, chances are they would be even if they had been 2-3 yrs apart, too.

I think you have valid reasons for wanting a close spacing but you may very well feel differently 6 months for now. Also, if nursing for 2 yrs is important to you, you may want to hold off since there is no way to know how your supply will hold up thru pregnancy.

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#17 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 10:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It was definitely possible for me, I got my period back 6-8 weeks after giving birth everytime. I wish I could have been so lucky as to keep it away. Nursing did nothing to help with that
Your kids are beautiful!

Grace - wife to Jeff and mama to Nigella (11/08) and Orrin (01/10)- expecting a new addition (05/12)! Life is a whirlwind, but I'm learning to enjoy the ride!

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#18 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 10:08 PM
 
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Mine are 2.5 years apart, and I even think that spacing, for us, was too close to be ideal. There are many. many times when I can't meet both of their needs. I would never space them closer than two years. I think they would both have to share Mama too much. Also, our bodies need time to recover between pregnancies.

I agree with others who said that personalities have more to do with sibling relationships than age differences. Two boys I knew growing up were five years apart, had very little conflict as kids, and are best friends as adults. My neighbor's kids are 17 months apart and fight CONSTANTLY.
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#19 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 10:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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.e., by nightweaning to get your fertility back, or by having your milk dry up when pregnant - in order to have another child. I guess I feel pretty strongly about that.
if AF isn't back by the time I want to TTC, then I would consider it "not meant to be" and leave it at that- if BFing was still going well and mutually enjoyable, I wouldn't nightwean just to have another baby. It feels like I'd be messing with fate or something.

Milk- yeah, it's a big concern of mine, I had it in my head i'd do CLW and/ or tandem nursing, but what I want often isn't what I get.



Jmmom- the co sleeping... yeah, hadn't thought of that either.

Hmmm! <stumped>


Thank you all for your great responses, though, I've got more to think about and feel less like a freak for considering it!

Grace - wife to Jeff and mama to Nigella (11/08) and Orrin (01/10)- expecting a new addition (05/12)! Life is a whirlwind, but I'm learning to enjoy the ride!

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#20 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 10:15 PM
 
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I will also say that, while when ds was a newborn I couldn't even begin to think about ever, ever having another baby - and so wasn't in your position - now that he's almost 2, I've been really, really starting to want another one, and it's a little bit hard that he's still so attached to nursing that I feel like he isn't ready yet. So I can kind of understand your dilemma! For me, the realization that we wanted, for our children, to space them, has made me be really, really patient, and try to learn to take my time with the big things in life. Good luck with your decision, as it draws closer to the time when you'll make it!
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#21 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 10:23 PM
 
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Mine are 15 mos apart, currently almost 4 and young 5. If you sleep in between the children they can't interfere with each other. It's great and I would not want it any other way, or possibly closer in age.
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#22 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 10:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I will also say that, while when ds was a newborn I couldn't even begin to think about ever, ever having another baby - and so wasn't in your position - now that he's almost 2, I've been really, really starting to want another one, and it's a little bit hard that he's still so attached to nursing that I feel like he isn't ready yet. So I can kind of understand your dilemma! For me, the realization that we wanted, for our children, to space them, has made me be really, really patient, and try to learn to take my time with the big things in life. Good luck with your decision, as it draws closer to the time when you'll make it!

I had a ridiculously easy pregnancy, and a really good birth experience which I think helps considerably in thinking about new kids.

Patience with the big things is not something I'm very good at- I want it all planned out in advance! I think I may need to practice it more, though, this year has already been a bit crazier than I'd like (well, the last 2 years I guess). All the big stuff seemed to happen at once!

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#23 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 10:40 PM
 
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Mine are 14 months apart. My first was planned. My 2nd was an awesome surprise! I'm really glad it turned out this way. I have to admit the transition from 1 child to 2 was really hard....just with him being a baby himself! The first two months were very hard on me. From then on it seemed to get easier. I already had my baby stuff out.

And it's so cute watching my now 21 month old play with my 7 month old. He tried to hold her and baby talks to her. It's awesome. I do want more kids and I won't have a very big age gap. But this close age gap is quite nice. They will be a grade apart when they get in school, so I think that will be helpful.

Just do what you think is best for you and your family!
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#24 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 10:54 PM
 
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My first 2 are 18 mos apart, the next 2 are 23 mos apart, and these 2 should be about 27 mos apart. This pgcy has been the hardest by far, whether it's from having to chase the other kids or just getting older (I'm a whopping 28 now, lol) I don't know, but it's been hard. I had a really easy pgcy w/ my first and it went downhill from there. I had ptl w/ my 2nd and I'm not positive it's not from not being ready to have another baby physically yet. I was still nursing and did till I was about 3.5 mos pg (he was 13 mos), but I wouldn't change it. They are both the best of friends and worst of enemies, lol! I'm assuming this is what DH and his brother were like as kids, they're 15 mos apart. DH's older sis is 15 mos old than him as well. Now #2 and #3 get along beautifully, but Evan is a much 'younger' 4 than some of his peers so I think that has something to do w/ it. Ilana is the oldest any of my kids will have been when we have a new baby and she's already quite the mommy. It'll be nice to have someone to fetch me diapers, lol! Congrats on the baby and just take it a day at a time. I told DH we weren't having any more before AJ was even born (I had to have a c/s w/ him and it wasn't good) and here we are on #4 (though this one was quite unplanned unlike the rest). It took me a while to want to TTC again, but we had decided 9 mos was a perfect time and af came back right then, we got pg right away and along came Evan 9 mos later.

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#25 of 106 Old 01-10-2009, 11:09 PM
 
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We're thinking of TTC shortly, like when our LO is between 6-9 months old.
Looks like you've got some time to decide. This is good. You'll get a chance to get to know what your LO's "older babe" personality might be like and to see how you are feeling after this initial "newborn high." My best advice is to just ride this out and see how you feel when your babe actually is 6-9 months

I tend to advocate more on the side of not waiting because I had a very painful experience with secondary infertility (not being able to get pregnant after having been pregnant before). Since no one knows how long it will take them to get pregnant, I feel like if you think you might want them closer together, better to start trying *before* you feel you are ready because you will have an unknown amount of time you will be ttc followed by a 9 month pregnancy.

However, this is only if you truly feel like if it did happen right away, you would be ready. Not just you actually (and this includes your body, which needs time to recover and may not even be menstruating yet) but your LO, whose life will be forever changed even just by the mere fact that you are pregnant (for example, I self-weaned from my mom when she got pregnant with my younger brother because the taste of her milk changed which made me very unhappy...I was over a year by that time but you are talking about just a 6, 7, 8, or 9 month old!).

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I've mentioned this to a few other moms the other day and was met with varying reactions of horror. I know 15-18 months can be the hardest, and that's when I'm thinking of introducing #2, but my sister and I were 15 months apart and mom says it was almost easier that way.
I think you gamble with any spacing because its really more a matter of personalities. I get along the best with my sister who is three years older than me, and pretty badly with my brother who is 18 months younger than me. We got along great, according to my mother, until I was about five. It has been downhill since that time.

Like I said, I think it is about the personalities, and you gamble no matter what. BUT...and this is a big but...when kids are spaced closer together, there are some things that almost certainly will become challenges. My two are eleven months apart. You can bet pretty heavily that:
[list][*]Your younger will not have as much time to be "the baby" as s/he would choose, and will have to grow up in some ways more quickly.[*]You will be juggling a LOT of different needs in a hard core way! Take sleep for example, which may or may not apply to you at any given time. When one of your kids keeps you up for one reason or another until midnight or 1am (the newborn being fussy or the toddler being sick or on a "sleep strike," etc.) and your newborn needs to nurse all night long but your toddler needs to be up at 6am, you will be having to figure out how to survive without the sleep *you* need.[*]Take whatever attention your little one is currently getting and divide it by some number even if not exactly in half (sometimes kids successfully share mommy). You only have so many resources. You only have so many arms, hands, minutes in the day...etc. You will, at times, be torn. There is nothing like the awful experience of figuring out which crying baby to respond to first...and believe me that your oldest will still be something of a baby through the toddler years.[*]The logistics will be difficult. At times, both kids will want to be held at once (believe me, I've even had both in carriers strapped to my body...not something that can be sustained for long periods). Or the two will keep each other awake at night (bedtime here is nutso...just wait until one busts out laughing just as the other is drifting off after a long day...urgh!).
[/quote]

There is more, but I won't go on. There are a lot of wonderful things about my kids being spaced the way they are too, but its not something I am likely to jump to do again. dfd is now almost 3, and we are just starting to talk about having another.

Quote:
For those of you with kids close together- did you do it on purpose?
Yes and no. When ds was 13 months old, we adopted him (he'd been with us since 1.5 days old as a foster child). A few months later, we started feeling like we could begin what we thought was going to be a long process of getting ready for another foster placement. All we did was start talking to the state again, though, and within a month we got called about a little girl in need of a family, possibly for the long-term. We made the choice, but we had thought it would have been many more months down the road. Before we knew it we had a 17 month old and a 6 month old. And even without the craziness of the newborn period with dfd, it was still a crazy time. Good crazy. But also *hard* and a LOT of work to keep life just sane. I'm talking just sane.

Now they are 2.75 and 3.5. Two has been a really intense age with dfd, and three was great with ds, but three and a half has also been pretty hard, so we're still experiencing some challenges. Whining is a big issue right now, and I think that having them so close in age encourages them to do it more because they clearly, clearly immitate each other. Also, ds really eggs dfd on to do stuff he knows is against the rules, so he won't get in trouble but still gets the joy of something crazy happening (her throwing plates or something while they are supposed to be setting the table). That drives me up the wall. I'm pretty confident if ds was a little older, I'd have an easier time teaching him out of this behavior.

Like I said, there are lots of pluses too. And I don't want to sound all negative because I love parenting my kids. It's just that I want you to be very realistic, and I wouldn't encourage you to rush this. I hear a lot of moms of newborns and young infants have this urge to have more right away that settles down when their babes get a little older.



ETA: Consider also if you want to have more than two and how this might impact later spacing. My dw and I originally envisioned a three year spacing between our kids. But because ds and dfd are so close in age, we've been living for a few years with a lot of intensity. Like I said, a lot of good. But intense hard work too. So now, even though dfd is almost three, it looks like she'll be closer to four before we have the next because dw just needs some more time before we have another babe in the house. I don't think it would be this way at all if ds and dfd were the originally planned three years apart.

I'm pro-adoption reform, but not anti-adoption.
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#26 of 106 Old 01-11-2009, 01:47 AM
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I think it's a bad idea.

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#27 of 106 Old 01-11-2009, 05:07 AM
 
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I think it's a gamble about whether any 2 kids will "get along," regardless of spacing; I think that your personality type & degree of involvement of your spouse are big things to consider when thinking about spacing.

My girls are 14.5 months apart We did plan the spacing on purpose (we're older & didn't want to waste time), & did have to supplement w/some formula & start solids from 8 months on, as while my milk supply didn't dry up, it did drop quite a bit by my 2nd trimester. I planned to tandem, but DD#1 weaned 3 days before her sister was born. At 1 1/2 & 2 1/2 years, it's getting easier, & there's something to be said for getting the same stages over with all at once (we only planned to have 2 children), but since the infant/early toddler stages are the roughest for us, having 2 kids at there at once has been hard for us. Some families thrive on having babies around, so it's easier for them. Another one of those "it depends" answers

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#28 of 106 Old 01-11-2009, 08:12 AM
 
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My DC#3 and DC#4 (I'm 26 weeks pregnant) will be 15 months apart and we're really happy with how it is working out.....we wanted to have our children close together because we hope it will foster an even closer relationship between them. My husband and his 5 siblings are spaced 18 months between each of them and they are all very close. My M-I-L says that she couldn't imagine having them any other way.
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#29 of 106 Old 01-11-2009, 10:33 AM
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I have 3 kids ages 7months, 2y,and 3 1/2 years. Knowing WHO I know now (them) I would do it all over again. But if I had known then WHAT I know now, I would have had them further apart. The first 2 close together wasn't really an issue- but my son's learning disability was not in full swing at that point. It would have been better for him I think if I kept him and his sister 3 years apart. But then maybe she wouldnt be here and she rocks so I'm glad she is.

IDK - it definitely has its benefits having 2 close together, but in all honesty I feel like I would have been a better parent if I had them further apart. So... I'm glad I had them close together because they are all really neat kids... but at the same time, I wish I had more time to devote to each of their "babyhood" and really... at 2 and 3 years old they are still such babies, and I lost sight of that in comparing them to newborns.
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#30 of 106 Old 01-11-2009, 11:17 AM
 
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My brother is 14 months younger than me, not on purpose (trouble conceiving me, then he was a surprise). We swung between friendly and bitter enemies throughout growing up, and now we get along, but are not close. My mom had generally sounded positive about it before, liking being done with something (diapers, or stroller or whatever) when she was done. Now that I've had a baby though I'm hearing a lot of "well, I couldn't X because I was pregnant" comments, and he's not even 3mo yet, so she's thinking of these things even before he's the age I was when she was pregnant.
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