transformed -- we homeschool and my youngest has some special needs. We're getting evaluations through our local children's hospital, and the evaluations are covered by dd's Medicaid (I'm not sure what insurance you guys have). To start the evaluations, I first talked with dd's primary doctor, who agreed that dd might benefit from some help, and gave us the referral to the hospital.
The speech pathologist also thinks dd has some sensory issues. We're awaiting evaluations in the Occupational Therapy department and the Behavioral/Developmental department. But as for now, the pathologist has recommended speech therapy 2x a week. Since the school district provides 1 session a week for free, she wants us to go with that 1 day a week, and come to the hospital for the other session.
Even when you homeschool, any services provided through your local school district that your child qualifies for, are available for your child. For free. Simply because you're a taxpayer and you live in that district.
This in no way means that if you get your child evaluated, you "have" to use whatever services are recommended. You always have the right to decline. We definitely want dd to have the speech therapy -- but are not at all interested in putting her in preschool (something recommended). Just take what works for you and your child, and leave the rest!
You can learn a lot in the Special Needs forum, I wish I'd started hanging out there a long time ago -- but, you know, sometimes it takes us parents a while to recognize our child might have a special need.
About your mom -- do you live with her, or does she live with you or just spend a lot of time at your house? I ask because we had a lot of stress a few years back when we stayed with my mom for a while (6 months) for financial reasons. I quickly realized that it wasn't going to work out, and it took a few months but we finally dug ourselves out enough financially to get our own place again.
Once we were living separately from her, things got better for a while. We eventually did have to break contact, though.
If you are living at your mom's, I hope you're able to get out soon. I realize some families can function well in situations like this, but it doesn't sound like your mom is happy in the situation, and I don't think she'll be able to properly support what you're trying to do to help your son.