Mom's of Many it’s February - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-01-2009, 02:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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: Mom's of Many it’s February :

Sam, mum to: Ian, James, Lottie, Maddy, Jack, Ruby, Bronte & Sophia and Nate
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Old 02-01-2009, 03:09 PM
 
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Hello hello!
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Old 02-01-2009, 03:16 PM
 
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Old 02-02-2009, 03:18 PM
 
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Wow - it is Feb. already. I feeling over-worked. My baby will ONLY sleep in someone's arms. He has yet to take to the Kozy carrier or wrap. I am working on getting the correct size pouch. I am hoping that will help asI get NOTHING done each evening. Then when DH goes to bed, I have to start cleaning up, washing dishes and making lunches. DH helps a tremendous amount, but we both have things to complete at night. So much for painting the hallway - that is a ways off.

any advice???
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Old 02-02-2009, 03:29 PM
 
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Hello M-o-Ms! Anyone sick of snow and ice yet? What are you all doing with the kiddos to beat the winter blahs? We usually try to plan a little winter weekender somewhere in Feb. to get us through...This year looks like we'll be heading to the Kalahari indoor waterpark. Should be fun to see the youngest enjoy the water!

me-45, DH-46, ds1-23, ds2-18, dd1-17, dd2-14, dd3-4....hoping for #6.....

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Old 02-02-2009, 04:10 PM
 
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Wow - it is Feb. already. I feeling over-worked. My baby will ONLY sleep in someone's arms. He has yet to take to the Kozy carrier or wrap. I am working on getting the correct size pouch. I am hoping that will help asI get NOTHING done each evening. Then when DH goes to bed, I have to start cleaning up, washing dishes and making lunches. DH helps a tremendous amount, but we both have things to complete at night. So much for painting the hallway - that is a ways off.

any advice???
I understand how you feel. I use a ringsling which I prefer over a pouch since you can adjust it to any size, use the tail to cover cold wind, rain, sun, to nurse, etc. We use a zolo and I love it. It helps me get a lot of things done around the house. How old is your babe? Congrats, too! :


So mamas, I have a question...

Those of you w/ a lot close in age (mine are 7, 5, 4, almost 3 and 6 weeks today) how do you make friends?? I am so lonely since we moved (which is why i'm on mdc waaaay too much ) and have no IRL friends. I feel having this many babes so young and homeschooling prevents me from having friends and being able to do many "normal" parenting things (like attend playgroup, go to fun classes, heck even shopping at a store!) Anyone kwim? For example..when we moved I stayed away from the local MDC playgroup b/c I knew my tribe was active and overwhelming for others. I attended twice (once a few weeks before babe was born and the other and last time was when babe was 2 weeks old). Now the playgroup is talking about "too many kids" and "hectic" and "playgroup for little ones only" talk. I feel it is b/c of us and just knew it would happen I just don't know how to socialize my babes with others and not make the whole crowd wish we didnt' attend. *sigh* We also kept up w/ a homeschool group b/c I know that they are able to handle spirited school age kids (and boys at that) easier than mamas who only have one young child. So far that has gone really well (we have yet to attend w/ our babe tho) and it's once a week. Now I feel really self conscious b/c what if people there think we are too much to handle and making the group too crowded?? Ugh! I had such an amazing group before we moved and this was never an issue. It was wonderful to find friends who had spirited kids and lots of them and understood. To not worry and relax with my children for once, just be ourselves and not have to apologize or get after them, etc all the time. I am SO sad to be and feel so alone.

So how do you all do it? How do you let your children play w/ others and make it work? I don't have school to take my kids during the day (which I know would make life a lot easier..but we homeschool and we love it) and dp works days now and so we can't do what we used to a few years ago. (I would take the one or two to age appropriate things like preschool class, library storytime, playgroups, etc and the others would do something w/ dad). I don't have close friends to drop them off with like we used to, I don't have family close enough to help w/ this either. I just feel like b/c we chose to have a large family and homeschool that we in turn "chose" to have no friends and not be able to attend anything. I suppose it is something I have to realize and come to terms with and just be happy in my own world, alone. : I think I'll tell the MDC playgroup we're not attending anymore so they can go back to normal and relax at their get togethers....
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Old 02-03-2009, 03:25 PM
 
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Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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Old 02-03-2009, 03:34 PM
 
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Lemon Juice I only have 2 with me during the day and I feel only a tiny bit of what you are feeling. We don't go to school either so with dd who is about to turn 6 and a 2yo we don't go to any little people things at all because dd1 isn't welcome.

One of the best things for us about home schooling is that I can take them both to any homeschool groups and they can meet children of all different ages without anyone thinking it is odd or wrong to have big and little people all mixed up.
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Old 02-03-2009, 04:31 PM
 
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so......can we talk "family bed?"

Anyone here have one? How to you juggle? How many are in the family bed?

we set up a family bed, but I am not sure it is working. My 5 yr old totally feels that he NEEDS to sleep with us. (And most nights that means he is waking me up trying to get on the queen bed with dh and baby and I. That doesnt work.) I think my 3 yr old would be fine in a room on her own but I have been enjoying her snuggleyness...and I am not sure how the 1 yr old would fare in another bed, as I have never tried it yet.

Dh snores loudly, waking up the kids, and the 12 mo old wakes up occasionally making baby noise which also wakes the kids up. and then everyone wakes up everyone else...

??? :

Bedtime is quite an act around here and I was just wondering if you all could describe what your nighttime looks like.

We are doing bed at like 6 PM also-thats really really hard!!!- because I cannot figure out how to get the kids to nap, and from 3 PM till 6 PM they are so tired they just throw fits all freaking day.

I know they wont be little for long. :
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Old 02-03-2009, 05:25 PM
 
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Naps - nonexistant here, except for the youngest; she will occasionally nap in the afternoon. The 4 youngest (ages 9, 6, 4, & 2) start getting ready for bed at 7. This is clean-up time, get pajamas on, go potty, etc. Depending on the day, I may read a story, but usually they go straight to bed after a ton of hugs & kisses.

Now, if they would only stay there .

Usually, the 6 & 4 yr old end up coming into our room sometime in the night. If they 2 yr old wakes up, I nurse her in the recliner & end up falling asleep there. Once in awhile, the 9 yr old will come in our bed too.

I probably just jinxed myself typing this, but the 6 & 4 yr olds have been sleeping in their rooms all night for the past 5 nights!! It's been very nice, but I've been restless & tossing & turning all night.

Figures.

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Old 02-03-2009, 06:00 PM
 
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Going to bed is actually pretty swell around here. Thankfully! Our 7 and 5 yr old share a room. Our almost 3 yr old ended up moving in with them b/c she was ready to leave and have her own bed. We still co-sleep w/ our 4 yr old son b/c he's not ready to leave and he won't go to sleep and will party all night if he's not in our bed. We also co-sleep w/ our baby. BUT dp sleeps on the couch. He snores SO loud and figures he gets out of diaper duty.

We had an easy transition into a bedroom for our older ones. We do baths anywhere from 6:30-7pm. We get dressed and let them run around and burn off the bath time energy and play. When they are all dressed we gather into our family bed and read stories. Dp will do it or I will, the other cleans up (dishes, living room, laundry, etc We call it "bath or clean up" and pick). After stories we do potty, teeth, tuck in. I put the baby down and our 4 yr old in my room. The other 3 go into their room. We are usually done before 8:30pm and on a good night by 8pm they are all fast asleep The 4 yr old will go to sleep by himself in my bed too, luckily, so I take a shower or can go downstairs w/ dp to relax or put babe down there. But if he's w/ his brothers all hell breaks loose!
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Old 02-03-2009, 06:03 PM
 
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Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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Old 02-03-2009, 07:16 PM
 
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subbing

Lemon Juice, I know what you mean about having trouble connecting w/others when you have all the kids w/you. Mine do go to school, so my situation is a lot different, but there are times when I am in the same boat. When we go to church for example. I joined this great UU church in the hopes of making some new connections & developing more of a community, but when we are there I am so busy managing the kids that I don't get a chance to talk to anyone and I cannot attend a lot of the things that interest me due to childcare. What works for us is to have one on one playdates/get togethers, as opposed to playgroups (since we just overwhelm the whole group, and it ends up no fun for any of us). If we can spend the time outdoors, even better. HTH.

Happy mama of four Wild Things
"And now," cried Max "let the wild rumpus begin!"
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Old 02-04-2009, 03:12 AM
 
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Hi MoMs!

I am trying to get a handle on what "normal" is for a food budget with a family of 6. Do you mind sharing?

TripMom . . . . . loving mom : to DS (7) and BBG (4.5)
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Old 02-04-2009, 12:58 PM
 
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Hi MoMs!

I am trying to get a handle on what "normal" is for a food budget with a family of 6. Do you mind sharing?
We spend around $160--200/week on groceries for a family of 6.

me-45, DH-46, ds1-23, ds2-18, dd1-17, dd2-14, dd3-4....hoping for #6.....

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Old 02-05-2009, 02:52 AM
 
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Hi everyone, just chiming in on the family bed. We actually have 2 beds now. We just could not fit 6 in a king size comfortably. So Ds/1 sleeps w/ DH and the girls and DS/2 sleep w/ me and we take turns as to which bed we sleep in. It's sort of unspoken, because both beds are so comfy. But I am getting to the point where I would love for everyone to sleep in their own beds and I am having a hard time w/ that old mantra "it will not always be this way" ! There is a king our room and the queen is in the boys room. All I long for is a full nights sleep, but baby won't have it! He is up randomly and since he is, I think the last, I am enduring!

Samanthawild.gif mama to 5 joy.gif                                                         
 
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Old 02-05-2009, 12:43 PM
 
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He Lemon Juice,

I think we've met IRL a few months ago.

I just wanted to say that I know how you feel. A few weeks ago DH and I were thrilled to be invited to another family's house for dinner. We also recently moved and are eager to recreate a warm, loving circle of friends. A few days before the dinner the mom called me and oh so gently suggested that I leave the two little kids at home. Even though her daughter and the other couple's daughter would be participating in the evening, they were quiet girls (the ages of my two oldest boys) used to going out with their parents.

I'm all for nights out without kids, and and I love family broohahas but I was astonished that this other mom would ask me to bring only 1/2 my kids. Of course I would understand if it were, for example, a birthday party or something similar for her child, but this was billed as a family night.

I told her I'd see, and then sat back in astonishment. She callde back the next day and apologized and re-invited the whole gang. She said her husband was aghast and the more she thought about it the sillier her request seemed. WE all went and had a great time and joked about how overwhelming a big family must be, etc.

I don't consider my family a big family but it is around here (there are one or two families of 5 and 6 kids but I don't know them). It seems people here generally have one or two children within 2.5 years of each other and that's that. So once they are through the baby and toddler phases they want playmates for their older children but they don't want to be bothered with little kids. Likewise, when they have only babies they are aghast at the energy, needs and noise that go with kids ages 5-8.

So no solutions here. But a nod of sympathy.

I wish you lived closer to us!

Happy mom to DS2000, DS2002, DD2004, DS2006 and DS 10/2009:
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Old 02-05-2009, 01:25 PM
 
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Once we had the triplets I thought we'd never get a social invitation again . . . . . I can empathize with social issues - that is for sure!

TripMom . . . . . loving mom : to DS (7) and BBG (4.5)
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Old 02-05-2009, 01:28 PM
 
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you know, the more I think "I dont have a large family, with only 3 kids" the more i realize that most people have 2 or less kids (At least -of the young ages that mine are.) Larger familys around here are generally older familys with older kids. (Often the result of combining "yours mine and ours" But I actually do have a hell of alot of work to do with just 3 kids and I am only now realizing that. :

I love my family.

And to me, its freaking overwhelmingly large.
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Old 02-05-2009, 02:57 PM
 
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I consider our family medium sized, but many is definitely descriptive ; ) So I thought I would jump in here! I've got 5 - ages 10, 8, 6, 3, and 8 months. We homeschool two of them and I totally relate with not knowing where we fit in best - There are homeschool things for the olders I can't take them to because of the littles, and playgroup things for the littles I don't go to because of the older ones. There is plenty in between too, but it is hard knowing how much my kids are missing out on because we can't always do it all. It is nice when we do things with the Catholic homeschool group because everyone has lots of kids, all different ages, so they just expect it!!!
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Old 02-05-2009, 04:17 PM
 
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We have snow! About 5 inches! I can't believe it. It is my ds2's 12th birthday today and school was closed so he has had a whale of a time The snow is the kind which is great for making snowmen from, unlike the stuff we usually get which falls and melts or turns to ice.

We are having his favourite dinner of lasagne followed by a coffee and walnut cake and ice cream. Sometimes he seems to have very old fashioned tastes!

I've managed to get some sewing in this week which has calmed my antsiness a bit and both recipients of new garments are happy with them which is always a bonus.

Another good thing is that my little cousin is getting married at last. The slightly worse news is that the ceremony is at his barracks (he's a Captain in the army) which is the Tower of London, as in where they keep the Crown Jewels, and starts at 4pm on the day. : The yikes is because it is a no children affair and who can you leave 4 children with from early morning on a Saturday until very late on a Saturday night? Only my mum but she will be there too. Dh has manfully said that much as he would like to get into his smart suit or even dinner jacket and bow tie (which he looks gorgeous in) he will stay at home with everyone so I can go with my mum.

Mum called today to say she was lying awake last night wondering what would be the best thing to do and said why don't we stay overnight in London instead of coming home late on the train. I want to go and I want to accompany my mum as her dp won't go BUT this will be my first night away from dh and the children EVER.

I'm not worried about them managing but it will be soooo odd and a bit lonely just the two of us. Having the crowd means you always have someone doesn't it?
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Old 02-06-2009, 01:28 AM
 
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Luckily I have a best friend with four boys so we're not overwhelming to her! My other best friend with four kids moved across the country this week!!!
We do miss out on a lot of invitations from our other friends (all of the ones with two kids) who go rent houses together and go camping together. I think we overwhelm them.

We spend about $200-250 per week on food. That's almost entirely organic.

My littlest- 20 months- has had three full nights of sleep in his crib! My work is paying off. It's incredible! Co sleeping was NOT working for this one- he was up all night crying, kicking me, hitting me, it was miserable. I don't hear a peep from him and he wakes up happy! :

JENNY, 38~ preschool teacher, birth activist, sun worshiper, singer, married for 17 years and mom to

Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!

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Old 02-06-2009, 01:44 AM
 
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Can I join in here? I only have 4 kids so far, but people stare and ask inappropriate questions and behave as though we had 20 kids. Mine are close in age; 5, 4, 2, and 8 months. We are so lucky to have a great group to meet with; it's actually the local La Leche League group. There are several moms that homeschool and there are 5 of us who have 4 kids. We have the regular meeting one Thursday a month and there is a playgroup of some sort on all the other Thursdays, so we can at least get out of the house and socialize once a week.

Raising our babies: 2003, 2004, 2006, 2008, 2010, and 2012
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Old 02-07-2009, 12:42 AM
 
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Hi,

I was wondering as I was putting out dinner tonight how others actually serve dinner. I'm trying to find a better, more relaxing, more cooperative way to handle the actual serving.

I usually do it either by plating everyone up (including cutting up things for the two littles) and bringing the plates, filled cups of milk, etc to the table (the two bigs help with this and Dh helps with everything) or by putting everything on the table (which is easier in some ways but leads to more unwelcome discussion over what and how much everyone is eating and more clean up after dinner.) It usually depends on what is being served and what kind of hurry I am in.

As I write this I realize it seems painfully mundane. But no matter what approach I take it is a bit chaotic and stressful. I have found a way to really enjoy cooking, etc. but those last 7 minutes before dinner actually starts have got to become more manageable.

Anyone? Or have I just written the longest post on the dullest subject ever?

Happy mom to DS2000, DS2002, DD2004, DS2006 and DS 10/2009:
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Old 02-07-2009, 01:19 AM
 
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Dd sets the table a bit before dinner is ready. Nobody is allowed in the kitchen until I ring the bell, then they wash hands so I have another minute to ready everything. They sit, I make their plates. I ask Dh or another child to get water for everyone. Then we eat. Dinner isn't terribly peaceful, as everyone is vying for dad's attention (he gets home just before dinner), and someone often ends up in a time out. It's hard to remain peaceful when you have fighting boys or a whiny daughter!

My kids have always gotten along well together, until the last month or so and my boys (10 and 5) are just at each other's throats- hitting, chasing, threatening, teasing- it's awful!!! Any ideas??

JENNY, 38~ preschool teacher, birth activist, sun worshiper, singer, married for 17 years and mom to

Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!

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Old 02-07-2009, 12:19 PM
 
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Dinner here- I make up the plates for the los and sometimes for the others too depends on what we're having and how tired I am.Dh brings the plates to the table and calls each child as their food is placed (youngest to oldest) then I fix my plate and dh gets his and we sit.Usually we bring the cups and milk to the table to pour and refill during dinner.

When each person is done they are responsible for bringing their plate/utls/cup to the sink- if they are old enough (7 & up) they wash their own dish.We got one of those wands that hold dishsoap so it makes it easier on us all.We take turns on who washes the pots/pans between the 10 and ups.Sometimes they are already done because I'll have washed as I cooked.

Some days it goes smoothly others not so much! Just depends on everyones moods and the willingness of the los to eat- they can be picky and very slow eaters.

m4- could your boys be getting cabin fever? Do they get breaks from each other- like sleep overs at friends or relatives? My kids get this way when they have spent too much time together and need to just be alone- they may not know or agree w/this but its what I've noticed w/them. Even just separating them to different areas of the house w/activites for each to do helps.
As for the physical stuff we don't allow it and when it starts they kids involved all get time outs for the older ones this may involve doing a chore they don't normally do or being in their room until they can change their behavior and decided to follow the rules. If it keeps up after consequences and they just seem to be wound up and they are driving me batty I send them out side to cool off (if its cold out) or run it off they have to stay out there until I see they are calming down.Don't worry if its cold I don't make them stay out there too long and usually the cold air helps to calm them down quicker.Body using more energy to keep warm!
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Old 02-07-2009, 04:48 PM
 
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orangefoot, have you considered PMing knittinanny? (or whatever the username is?) She's in London, and I know she was looking for babysitting.

SuzieK, I plate for everyone and they get their own seconds if they want it. And there is any. Usually there isn't.

m4 IME, 10yo boys are a handful in and of themselves.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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Old 02-07-2009, 04:58 PM
 
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reguarding size discussions...lol I have almost 5 and I know its a lot of kids lol it really is, the average amt of kids per household is like 2.5 so yeah lol. People usually stare at us and their ages dont help us in that aspect. My oldest just turned 6 jan 25th and the 5th is coming here in a couple weeks lol so 5 ages 6 and under. It's pretty funny.This lady told us once we remind her of jon and kate plus 8 lol I didnt know if I should be offended or not lol ...we have 3 less kids than they do and I def dont act like kate lol .

 Jess mom to 5!!! 3 boys 2 girls and another girl on the way edd jan 31st! I have a Disabled veteran husband
breastfeeding,cosleeping, non vax,no circ,and nature loving family!

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Old 02-08-2009, 08:38 PM
 
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He Lemon Juice,

I think we've met IRL a few months ago.

I just wanted to say that I know how you feel. A few weeks ago DH and I were thrilled to be invited to another family's house for dinner. We also recently moved and are eager to recreate a warm, loving circle of friends. A few days before the dinner the mom called me and oh so gently suggested that I leave the two little kids at home. Even though her daughter and the other couple's daughter would be participating in the evening, they were quiet girls (the ages of my two oldest boys) used to going out with their parents.

I'm all for nights out without kids, and and I love family broohahas but I was astonished that this other mom would ask me to bring only 1/2 my kids. Of course I would understand if it were, for example, a birthday party or something similar for her child, but this was billed as a family night.

I told her I'd see, and then sat back in astonishment. She callde back the next day and apologized and re-invited the whole gang. She said her husband was aghast and the more she thought about it the sillier her request seemed. WE all went and had a great time and joked about how overwhelming a big family must be, etc.

I don't consider my family a big family but it is around here (there are one or two families of 5 and 6 kids but I don't know them). It seems people here generally have one or two children within 2.5 years of each other and that's that. So once they are through the baby and toddler phases they want playmates for their older children but they don't want to be bothered with little kids. Likewise, when they have only babies they are aghast at the energy, needs and noise that go with kids ages 5-8.

So no solutions here. But a nod of sympathy.

I wish you lived closer to us!
Thanks, mama I wish you lived near us too! Where are you? We are in New England. I spied a mama kinda near me that has 5 kids on diaperswapper
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Old 02-08-2009, 08:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by 3tammuz View Post
Wow - it is Feb. already. I feeling over-worked. My baby will ONLY sleep in someone's arms. He has yet to take to the Kozy carrier or wrap. I am working on getting the correct size pouch. I am hoping that will help asI get NOTHING done each evening. Then when DH goes to bed, I have to start cleaning up, washing dishes and making lunches. DH helps a tremendous amount, but we both have things to complete at night. So much for painting the hallway - that is a ways off.

any advice???
That sounds frustrating. I would probably keep trying different types of carriers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TripMom View Post
Hi MoMs!

I am trying to get a handle on what "normal" is for a food budget with a family of 6. Do you mind sharing?
We spend $200 every two weeks. That doesn't include any household stuff. I'm a super bargain shopper and we have a surplus outlet with great deals on organics.

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Originally Posted by orangefoot View Post
We have snow! About 5 inches! I can't believe it. It is my ds2's 12th birthday today and school was closed so he has had a whale of a time The snow is the kind which is great for making snowmen from, unlike the stuff we usually get which falls and melts or turns to ice.
They actually ran a story on NPR this week about snow in the UK!

Quote:
Originally Posted by suziek View Post
Hi,
I was wondering as I was putting out dinner tonight how others actually serve dinner. I'm trying to find a better, more relaxing, more cooperative way to handle the actual serving.
Mostly, we plate. All our silverware is in a basket, so someone slaps that on the table. It's divided in half, and then one half is divided into thirds. So the thirds have spoons, knives, and forks, and the other side, everyone has a special napkin ring and a cloth napkin. I replace the napkins as they get gunky. Anyway, I yell "GET A PLATE!!!" and they all do, even the one year old, which is very sweet. The plates are in a low cabinet in the hutch. I always forget to get drinks, so that's my waterloo.

It was good to find you all! I always lose this thread.

We're doing well. Well, I'm sick as a dog with a cold. I actually stayed in bed all day and the kids ran wild. DH was at church since it's Sunday and he's the pastor. My 9 and 6 year old did a fabulous job keeping an eye on the 1 and 5 year olds, and I was awake so everyone wandered in and out.

My 9-year-old is turning 10 on the 17th! We can't have his party until the 22nd. I've always avoided "venue" parties, but a skating party for 15 kids is $100, and all I have to bring is cake and drinks and some snacks. I figure I will actually end up spending less than I would for a pizza party, pinata, etc.

We only do parties when they turn 1, 7, 10, 13, 16, 18. Even that seems like too much. I have some friends who do parties every year! It's craziness.

How do you all handle birthdays? We celebrate birthdays, baptismal anniversaries and name days (patron saints feast days) so it seems like I am always baking a cake for something. Which sort of sucks now that I'm on Weight Watchers, LOL! Anyone have a healthy cake recipe?

Flowers, fairies, gardens, and rainbows-- Seasons of Joy: 10 weeks of crafts, handwork, painting, coloring, circle time, fairy tales, and more!
Check out the blog for family fun, homeschooling, books, simple living, and 6 fabulous children, including twin toddlers

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